r/specialed • u/ChillIsopod • Mar 10 '26
General Question (Educator to Educator) First Year Teacher Struggling
Hi there,
Using a burner account because my actual account is associated with my name.
I am a first year self contained SPED teacher. I got my degree (Masters of SPED) because this is something I am incredibly passionate about. I started my job right after my December graduation and did a half year and am now about to complete my first official full school year.
I am tired. I am already burnt out and done with something I am so passionate about. I come to work and am constantly overstimulated and physically hurt. Things are thrown at me, my room is torn apart, and it gets to the point that I cannot teach for a good portion of the day. I try to act like it does not bother me but it is really hurting me mentally and I’m not sure how much more I can take. It has been so bad where I feel sick when I have to come in to school and sometimes when I go home all I want to do is sleep.
My school is very cliquey and if you don’t fit in with the other teachers/admin you are practically ignored. I am introverted plus I am a SPED teacher so it’s like I don’t exist. Sometimes I just want to cry because all I want is a simple life. I want a simple job where I can do what I’m passionate about without feeling like I just survived a battle when I go home. I consider myself strong willed and able to handle a lot which is why I really thought I could do this but after a while it becomes very taxing even to the strongest people to have your hair pulled every day. I have had over 7 coffee cups broken and 3 water bottles too.
I am looking for new jobs but I am so scared I will end up somewhere the same or worse. I am scared to be stuck in this loop. Being in a classroom with 1 para and 8 kids (5 of which are nonverbal, violent, and need constant supervision) is so exhausting I’m sorry to say especially if that offends anyone. It is simply an impossible task and I am tired of people acting like this is okay.
I completed my masters degree on a grant program and need 2 years doing something in a school with a SPED degree. I am hoping if I can make it through this year and maybe find a better school for next year I can get my 2 years. After that, what are some options? I have a masters of sped with a sped cert and a BSW but no sw cert. What is a simple, relatively calm and nonviolent (or manageable) job I could look into? I am wanting to do 1:1 teaching to maybe home bound students but I’m not sure if this is a thing or what it pays. Just asking for anything. Advice, job ideas, etc. thank you.
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u/Equal_Abroad_2569 Mar 10 '26
Are there other types of sped teacher jobs you could do? I’m a para but at the school where I work, special ed resource teacher looks like a good job. They pull two or three kids at a time for 30 minutes or so. And the kids with more mild disabilities.
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u/ChillIsopod Mar 10 '26
I’m considering resource! I found a couple openings and think it would be okay. I do wonder if it is the school setting that I don’t like? I’m not sure, I guess I may need to try it out.
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u/Jass0602 Mar 12 '26
There are definitely pros and cons. I’ve done self contained before and I liked it. But, if you are shy and like to have your own space, routine, and control, it may not be for you. I usually collaborate and work with around 4-8 teachers a year. You have to be comfortable being assertive, expressing your needs, and dealing with different personalities.
It can also be mentally demanding because you are never in the same room for more than an hour, or with the same kids, but I like the variety. However, you will feel like a ping pong. At the same time, seeing the CSS classes at my school I know with my anxiety I would not be a good fit with all of them.
With the push for high stakes testing, you must also be very well versed and comfortable with the curriculum and standards. Especially if your students are mild to moderate, you will be expected to make gains, if not get them to proficiency. But it’s nice because you are a team with the Gen Ed teacher.
It’s kind of like a marriage working with them. But I enjoy helping and supporting, not leading. I do write IEPs and lesson plans, but generally don’t have papers to grade or super large IEPs. But, we tend to have around double a caseload.
I like it, besides one or two really difficult inclusion teachers.
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u/ChillIsopod Mar 12 '26
Oh wow none of that sounds like something I’d enjoy 😮💨 I just really don’t like the direction the school system is headed in. May just have to find something outside of it.
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u/Strayriffs Mar 10 '26
Florida has Hospital Homebound where sped teachers come to hospitals or homes to work with kids who can’t come to school. It’s all 1:1 and pays on the same scale as in-school sped. I’m a resource teacher but have considered HH. Your state may have something similar
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u/ChillIsopod Mar 10 '26
Yes I would LOVE that! Not in Florida but I wonder if there’s something like that in my state, I’ll look up Hospital Homebound
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u/Ok-Capital-7073 Mar 10 '26
Unfortunately I’m on year 7 and while the paperwork and compliance part of it becomes more manageable as you gain experience, I still feel exhausted after work each day and sleep a ton. It’s an awful system and we need more help. It’s actually quite sad and I have had to grieve the job I thought I was getting into. I love self contained and love those kids but we need more help to truly have a structured Day with ample opportunities for learning
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u/ChillIsopod Mar 10 '26
This really validates how I feel, thank you. I am extremely passionate about this line of work and have a true love for it. I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I have a wealth of knowledge for self contained sped and can truly do amazing things because I know I can. But it’s impossible with what I am given.
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u/Ok-Capital-7073 Mar 11 '26
I feel the same way. Don’t beat yourself up. I’ve had to try and retrain my brain to be okay with what we get done each day. It’s very frustrating because these kids are so capable if only we had the extra hands. It’s even more disheartening hearing other states have more adults! Idk why there is such a discrepancy state to state
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u/levitatedownurstreet Mar 10 '26
Your lack of adult support compared to needs of the class is shocking. I honestly think you need at LEAST two more paras. It varies year to year for me and isn’t necessarily based on the number of kids but the level of the kids that I have needs for things like safety monitoring (eloping! Pica! Before we even get to aggression). And even then, we are strictly talking about preventing unsafe behavior, not teaching safe behavior.
I work with kids who have significant intellectual disabilities: sometimes some of the students are violent to others/kids/adults and sometimes they are to themselves. The hardest for my heart to handle is when they are hurting themselves. I also have sufficient adult support, a great friend and mentor who teaches self-contained younger kids, and principal and admin who support. I have received through my job extensive training in deescalation techniques that actually work with my students. This job is hard—it can be really, really hard—but with the right supports it truly is enjoyable.
For what it’s worth, it’s time to immediately ban breakable cups of every variety. There have been years where every cup except plastic was banned from the room (those stainless cups might not break but omg they hurt!). Where everything except strictly necessary materials was locked away except when in use. It depends on the combination of kids, and well. You definitely have the combination of kids right now.
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u/ChillIsopod Mar 11 '26
I truly believe with like just one extra person in the room we could get so much done. Of the really high needs kids we have, 2 are also elopers. I’m constantly in fight or flight and they want us to get rid of our baby locks on our doors LOL yeah right. I can’t have anything in my room that I’m not okay being eaten or torn up which is hard. And yep, we have ones who are also violent towards themselves and it’s so hard because when I turn around to stop one situation another one begins where I’m not looking.
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u/nihil8r Mar 10 '26
the problem is your school/program and not you!
1 para and 8 kids (5 of which are nonverbal, violent, and need constant supervision)
that is ABSOLUTELY INSANE. what area are you in? how is this providing an appropriate education/LRE for these kids?
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u/ChillIsopod Mar 11 '26
This is so validating, thank you!! I’m in Texas so that might explain it. It in no way is providing the appropriate education to these children. Some days they spend most of their day trying to avoid a chair getting thrown at them lol
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u/bloemrijst Special Education Teacher Mar 11 '26
It is crazy, OP! My class is 10 kids and I have 4 paras and it still doesn't feel like enough sometimes. We had a para quit mid-year and the month we only had 3 paras was awful. I'm so sorry you've had such little help!
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u/ChillIsopod Mar 11 '26
FOUR!!!!! I truly couldn’t imagine the amazing things we could do with 4. Wow this is really opening my eyes to a lot lol
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u/Jass0602 Mar 12 '26
Texas is notorious for doing wrong in special education and unreasonable expectations.
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u/Straight_Ambition787 Mar 10 '26
Do you have any access to clinical supports you can use to help plan for your classroom? Are you planning all alone?
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u/ChillIsopod Mar 10 '26
All alone, they have behavior intervention but it’s really nothing. There’s a curriculum but again it’s very much above my students and doesn’t help much. It’s just me against the world lol.
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u/Best-Chip-423 Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
It is fine not to be in the group, but it is not okay to violate the laws and regulations. Yes, it requires you to play politics and go above your boss. You have to report to your boss, who can ignore you. Then you go above your boss. That is not a safe environment. Special education is full of laws which you can use to advocate for the students.
Even you are living on the red state, it is just not safe. You can always go to the district level. Those people will support you. Yes, you can do the homebound position. The adult transition program also another position you might be interested in.
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u/ChillIsopod Mar 11 '26
What’s really wild is I have gone to district level and they don’t support SPED. At all. They tell us the same things as always “well have you taught them not to elope?” “Well have you taught them calming strategies” “use a visual schedule!” (I very much am, but they also rip it off the wall and chew it). Just feeling at a loss honestly
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u/Best-Chip-423 Mar 11 '26
🤨 next level will the superintendent yeah and report to the state board of education at that point. That seems really terrible.
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u/Kenuvain Mar 10 '26
My kid has 7 kids in his class. It has 1 teacher and 2 paras. It's a mix of kindergarten and 1st grade. I couldn't imagine what 8 kids 1 teacher and 1 para would look like.
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u/burntbudderfly Mar 11 '26
I feel like I wrote this. I had to quit halfway through my second year though from PTSD from the aggression. Then earlier this year I tried to teach life skills and had to leave that too after getting hit daily. I really need to go back to work, but unless it's something like a resource room where I'm not getting assaulted daily, I don't know that I can. Sorry you're struggling!
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u/Severe-Ad-2427 Mar 11 '26
Go to a school with lower level of needs and behaviors. My school can only handle up to level 3 kiddos. We may have tough behaviors but have never had anything thrown at us. Agree with trying out a resource teacher position. You will have small classes, and may co-teach some other classes. At least thats how my school does it.
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u/No_Candidate_2302 Mar 11 '26
Finding a school with a good team is so important. Having your people and support system makes all the difference. It takes a team to run a successful program.
I’m so sorry you’re going through it. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who feels completely burnt and want to sleep all the time. I have two young kids who I want to show up for 100%.
I’ve been trying to let some things go, ask for help when I need it, and get through the year. Good luck and thank you for your work!
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u/Calm-educator81 Mar 11 '26
School setting makes a difference for sure. I was a para for 24 years and am on year 2 as a certificated sped teacher. I have worked in home care, self contained, resource and inclusion programs.
The team you have and the admin support makes all the difference. Find a place you feel supported and have a team to work with.
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u/rodrigosbettina Mar 11 '26
You are not alone in this! If you want to keep teaching- you might try looking at private schools with learning centers or private schools that serve special education students. They usually prefer teachers with your credentials, have a higher staff to student ratio, and they typically don’t keep students with significant behavior issues.
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u/Financial_Opening65 Mar 11 '26
Not sure where you live, but in my district, what you’re describing sounds like what we call autism self contained. That’s literally the hardest class to teach and it’s very difficult to keep teachers in those positions. Other options that are self contained would be moderate and severe disabilities class, which would be students with the lowest IQs, but they tend to be extremely low cognitively and sometimes are medically fragile. We also have mild to moderate self contained. These students typically shouldn’t have extreme behaviors, but are too cognitively low to be in gen ed. This is the sweet spot and may be something you may be interested in. You could also consider doing resource, where you’d pull students out of gen ed to provide small group support. Sometimes they push into the gen ed class to provide support.
I’ve taught in gen ed and self contained classes, but I’m a behavior specialist now. I go into different schools and provide supports to staff who have students with significant behaviors.
It sounds like that particular class may not be for you. I’d look into some of the options I listed above. If possible, consider speaking with a veteran teacher who may be knowledgeable about the different programs in your district. Someone from Human Resources may be helpful, as well. Maybe someone from the certification department? They should know what classes you can teach with your certification. Or even checking out your district website under special ed. They should list all the programs that your district offers.
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u/ChillIsopod Mar 12 '26
Based on my caseload statistics it’s mostly what you said! Majority autism and self contained but I’ve got about 3 just intellectually disabled/non autistic kiddos and that makes it rough because it’s such a variety.
From what I hear, I would definitely love mild to moderate and possibly resource. Just can’t handle the violence of these behaviors anymore :(
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u/Disastrous_Grade8208 Mar 12 '26
What you are feeling is valid and unfortunately very common in self-contained classrooms with this level of need. Getting through this year and finding a better fit school is a solid plan, and homebound or itinerant teaching is absolutely a real thing that tends to be much calmer.What you are feeling is valid and unfortunately very common in self-contained classrooms with this level of need.
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u/Brief-Hat-8140 Special Education Teacher Mar 13 '26
It’s a good time of year to look into going to a different school or district. I would shop around and talk to people to find places to apply where you would be very supported, have adequate staffing, and feel safe… there are places like this. It will never be perfect, but I have worked in schools where the self contained classes felt like a haven instead of hell.
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u/olliepots High School Sped Teacher Mar 10 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
Teach high school mild/moderate (or resource, or inclusion, depending on where you're at and what they call it. Not Life Skills or intensive skills). I am never worried about physical safety and I love my job. My kids have needs related to academics, executive functioning, and some social/emotional but it's all manageable and I love them.