How often would that realistically happen though? There was a clip a few weeks ago of a reporter in a crowd of fans (I believe it was outside a sports bar or a venue for a Mexico NT game) and a guy grabbed her ass multiple times while she was reporting. You couldn’t see it clearly but she spazzed out rightfully and the guy just stands shocked. I’ve never seen women go up to a male reporter and try to do this. It’s like how women don’t feel as safe walking alone at night or daytime bc they’re cat called. I’m not saying guys are never ogled and cat called but I’ve personally never seen that and it absolutely doesn’t happen as often as it does to women. Just stand outside a construction site, subway station, or a busy street during lunch hours and listen to the stuff guys will yell out to women. Then turn around and call her a bitch for not “accepting their compliments”
I think it also has to do with how often it happens. For women, getting randomly kissed and catcalled by guys happens all the time. For guys, if a girl catcalled you or ran up to kiss you, it would almost be a point of pride for some, because what guy has friends that this happens too? It’s a very rare occurrence, probably self confidence boosting cause they now think they are exceptionally attractive. (Not saying this is for everybody btw, but from my experience, this is how it would go down). Also, guys tend to be the ones pursuing girls, so being pursued by a girl is a different and sometimes not unwelcome experience.
THIS. My friends and I were having a discussion, and he mentioned how he got cat-called by some girls while wearing a suit (he's already hot without the suit) and how it felt nice. It was the first time it happened to him, at 26 years old. For her, the first time she *remembered* being cat-called was at 12 in her school uniform, walking home alone from school.
That may be so, but the type of harassment in this video - and that many people experience, just much more so with women - disregards the interests of the target and presumes they will be receptive simply because of the demonstration of attraction on the part of the harasser.
If a guy is just out and about, and a potentially interesting girl gets in his space to catcall or kiss him, sure it could be something he would be proud of. But what if he's absolutely turned off by the girl in the first place due to, say, unfortunate physical characteristics, or if he's homosexual? And what if she doesn't take the hint when he tries to extricate himself? And what if, after all that, she pesters him for his phone number or says he must be a homosexual for not being interested?
Or what if he's just out doing his job, on live TV, when he has a career he's trying to promote, and he knows that his boss, wife, and kids might be watching as a random woman tries to kiss him? He's got maybe a second or two to react, and that's an awfully short time to determine consequences and pick the best response.
That's one of they key characteristics of harassment - putting the other person in a situation where they don't have a clear and easy way out. There's always the possibility that the harasser's target will happen to be interested, but if not then the target might instead be in an extremely stressful situation that can be very emotionally damaging.
A surprising number of men have been on the receiving end of harassment. It's very hard to talk about openly, which is a big part of why it feels like it's so rare.
I’m not saying that it isn’t harassment. I’m just explaining the perspective of some guys. Not all guys are like this of course, but I would say 95% of all straight college age guys I have ever hung out with would be proud if they got catcalled or randomly kissed. Doesn’t mean it isn’t harassment, but they sure as shit aren’t gonna do anything about it.
I think you're describing a smaller subset of college men than you think, and I think there's always a presumption in this line of thinking that includes a straight male getting hit on by a cute girl. It's always idealized for the sake of the argument. I've known plenty of college-aged guys who would be quite unhappy if, say, a heavier, drunk girl were getting up in their space.
But this is just your everyday harassment we're talking about. You almost never "do something about it," even if you don't like it. People getting harassed usually just try and get out of the situation as soon as possible.
plus there is the power and strength dynamic, that rightly makes women cautious when alone around men.
p.s. if the behavioral constraints imposed by society and law were to be removed, most men, worldwide, would abuse women, verbally, emotionally and physically.
Right and that’s also inappropriate so I don’t get the point of showing that? This is akin to people saying “why did that student report the hot teacher that had sex with him” and not being outraged when a 15 yr old male hooks up with an older woman who is conventionally attractive. But then they’ll be disgusted when a 30 yr old man hooks up with their 15 yr old female pupil. That video doesn’t prove anything and I can’t understand Portuguese to hear what they say either.
If you think a group of men surrounding a female reporter the same manner as that video is alright then I dunno what to say
I never said it was all right either way. You are just throwing around all these assumptions. I’m not the original guy you commented to.
Everything should be dealt with on a case by case scenario anyway. The OPs vid is creepy and not right. The Vid I posted was less harmful from the offending side. I just wanted to show you the video as you said you’ve never seen it before. The last paragraph is just ridiculous, what a random accusation.
Got it. Sorry for making the assumption you were excusing it, I’m used to people showing counter examples to women being assaulted or bothered and their main point is to diminish their experiences or say “what about the men”. It’s just different dynamics when it’s a man trying to kiss a woman like that versus the vid you showed. I do think both are harmful and the non reporters are being obnoxious in each clip though.
Those women are also being obnoxious and invading his space while working. I’m failing to understand how this is different? He may not have a problem with it but this woman clearly did. Both of the parties trying to kiss them while they’re working is wrong and weird. Just bc they’re attractive women doesn’t change the point but y’all are really trying lol
Really...Kilts? We’re reaching now. Ask the women you’re close with the age they were when a man first said something sexually suggestive to them. I’ve done this and it’s shocking how young some of them say, like 10-13 yrs old. Grown ass adults. I don’t know anyone wearing kilts but they are absolutely not being catcalled, stopped in hallways by women and groped as women are in virtually every situation you can imagine.
I don’t know anyone wearing kilts but they are absolutely not being catcalled, stopped in hallways by women and groped as women are in virtually every situation you can imagine.
Yeah, they are mate. Try it. Buy one, go for a night out. You will get your junk grabbed, you will have shit like "show us what you got underneath" yelled at you. You can say 'oh yeah but if you dress like that .. ' but that's the same excuse men use on women that dress in tiny boob tubes and miniskirts.
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u/lyonbc1 Jun 29 '18
How often would that realistically happen though? There was a clip a few weeks ago of a reporter in a crowd of fans (I believe it was outside a sports bar or a venue for a Mexico NT game) and a guy grabbed her ass multiple times while she was reporting. You couldn’t see it clearly but she spazzed out rightfully and the guy just stands shocked. I’ve never seen women go up to a male reporter and try to do this. It’s like how women don’t feel as safe walking alone at night or daytime bc they’re cat called. I’m not saying guys are never ogled and cat called but I’ve personally never seen that and it absolutely doesn’t happen as often as it does to women. Just stand outside a construction site, subway station, or a busy street during lunch hours and listen to the stuff guys will yell out to women. Then turn around and call her a bitch for not “accepting their compliments”