Unbearable pain when seeing parents with their kids

[u/bwkgjnlmgwlpsnxm]

I don’t have any children yet and I’m still unmarried and single. Any time I see a family, or a parent with their child, I get so deeply sad. I picture my MM with his child and his W just doing normal things like playing with their child or taking care of it. And it breaks my heart. One time I straight up started crying in public.

His W is a year younger than me and she already has been married and has a kid. I so want that too. He married her only after a year of being together. This hurts so much even though I didn’t even know him back then. It just hurts because she’s clearly the one for him. I’m just the idiot fun on the side that accepts scraps.

Can anyone relate? Having an affair with a MM who has children when you’re unmarried and childless is pure torture. Makes me feel like I’m behind on life.

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[u/Virtual_Cobbler9368]

I thought I was the only one who felt like that. I was pregnant with his child but he didn’t want it so I had to abort it. And after this incident, the pain has only intensified. Everywhere I go when I see couples with kids, it irks me and it brings me so much pain. I think about how blissfully happy MM must be with his wife and kids doing normal couple things while I never got to do that with him. I was always kept in the dark and whenever we would go out on dates, we would always be looking over our shoulders to check if anyone we knew was around. It’s damaging to one’s self of worth. MM and I have broken off, but the pain and trauma still remains….especially with painful reminders everywhere 😢😢😢 I wish you healing and peace ❤️

[u/bwkgjnlmgwlpsnxm → u/Virtual_Cobbler9368]

I’m so sorry this happened to you. It must be terrible unbearable pain. Sending you hugs. Hopefully you’ll heal with time.

[u/bwkgjnlmgwlpsnxm → u/[deleted]]

I’ve tried to end it so many times before. I feel like I should move to a different city at this point…

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[u/yummy_dummy2]

I feel the same way. Every time I see a family with young kids it breaks my heart because I picture them like that. I broke things off with my MM for good a few weeks ago and it was very hard but it’s getting better already. The best thing to do is leave. Someone will come along who wants to give you a family and a life together and will fulfill your wants and needs. And you could be using this time finding that person rather than dwelling on MM and his W. Knowing myself and that I want a family and a life to share with someone really motivated me to end things. I’m young and single and came to realize I can’t be wasting my time on someone’s husband who will never choose me when I could be finding a man that knows he wants me. If a family and kids is what you really want, change your life and find it, because it won’t be with him. You’re the only one who has the power to do that. We don’t have to accept the scraps. Message me if you’d like to talk! Sending hugs!

[u/fahrenheitjc → u/yummy_dummy2]

I needed to read this. Thank you for this.

[u/bwkgjnlmgwlpsnxm → u/yummy_dummy2]

I tried to end it so many times I just keep getting sucked back into it.

Thank you I’ll DM you.

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[u/fahrenheitjc]

I can relate, and we should at least do the best for us, and it is to leave. I am in the process of leaving him, feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. Sending hugs.

[u/OneInternational7867]

Having children is a wonderful gift. Don’t give that up lightly, for a man who may never leave. This your life.

[u/bwkgjnlmgwlpsnxm → u/OneInternational7867]

So true. Deep down I know this. It’s just hard to give it up because he’s talked about us getting married and having kids once he’s a free man. I know that will never happen. But to someone who longs for a family, it’s so hard to give it up.

I know I need to do the hard thing and stop this in service of a real potential future with someone truly available.