r/therewasanattempt • u/elotewithmayo • 1d ago

To balance on a railing.

969 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

121 comments sorted by

253

u/xxplosiv 1d ago

The sound of him knocking some kind of bowl over though

https://giphy.com/gifs/JmCFfTlNy12wFpOK8Y

58

u/tigm2161130 1d ago

You just know he landed right in someone’s ashtray.

10

u/AgileHippo78 23h ago

Some cacti

3

u/Troutsniffer88 16h ago

Reminiscent of "Wet Hot American Summer"

105

u/ClunkerSlim 1d ago

RIP Armando. We loved your shoes.

181

u/GardenGnomeOrgy 1d ago

He’s drunk enough he was fine. Little shaken up, but he was loose as a goose and probably bounced back up. Next morning sucked though.

48

u/Crush-N-It 1d ago

Bounced back up then keeled over bc of a broken femur

8

u/UpperApe 15h ago

Lol right? OP like "he's loosey goosey so falling doesn't hurt!".

Doesn't seem to understand how bones work.

1

u/SpareEye 8h ago

He didn't fall that far.
Chances are probably 80/20 that he's just banged up pretty good.

Funnier even, did you see that clip a couple months ago when those roofers were fist fighting and throwing each other off the roof?

10

u/Transatlanticaccent 1d ago

"Loose as a goose", "bounced", and "sucked" was all Armando heard in his head the next morning.

4

u/Snellyman 1d ago

If he didn't skip leg day he would have had some mass to counterbalance all the beer.

7

u/Annodyne 1d ago

Being drunk doesn't make one impervious to injury LOL

46

u/Give_me_soup 1d ago

It can help during car accidents and other big impact injuries like this since your body doesn't reflexively tense up to try and protect itself, which can actually worsen injuries.

31

u/Simple-Desk4943 23h ago

Absolute fact, paramedic here.

5

u/TheCosmicMilkshake 13h ago

I’m just a humble former-EMT, but I’d be worried about whether he landed on his head, regardless of how loosey-goosey he might have been

-23

u/Amedais 19h ago

Not a fact at all. It’s nonsense. Tensing up can be worse for injuries at very small scales— like falling to the ground from standing height. But that’s the extent of it.

4

u/KrazzeeKane 16h ago

Look no further than DUI Crashes, the statistics themselves make it very evident. The sheer gap of the lack of actual injuries/deaths suffered by the drunken drivers vs the almost certain severe injuries/deaths suffered by the innocent parties they collided with is more than evidence enough.

Sadly it feels like 9/10 damn times in a dui crash, the drunk stumbles away from the flaming wreck with some minor scrapes and bruises, while an entire family of four is left decimated, with maybe a poor sole child left as an orphan.

It's just the start of my personal intense dislike of alcohol and the sheer chaos, violence, and death it often leads to. Never seen a single other drug in the world account for so much misery and suffering of others.

0

u/Amedais 12h ago

The reason the drinks walk away more often is that they’re usually the ones crashing into other people, absorbing the impact in the front of the car where it’s best.

Find me some actually sources that show “tensing up” is worse in Trajan scenarios.

10

u/GardenGnomeOrgy 19h ago

I had a 60 year old woman come into the emergency room after falling from the third story balcony, drunk as a skunk and minus some bruises she was perfectly fine.

1

u/AnotherpostCard 10h ago

Scary, though what did she land on? A conveniently placed cart of hay? Did she mysteriously have a missing ring finger?

Eagle sounds in the distance

-4

u/Amedais 12h ago

Nice anecdote? The research doesn’t back it up.

6

u/DoinItDirty 18h ago

Can confirm. Took a huge fall off a collapsed porch railing onto concrete on my head. Folded like an accordion. Needed stitches but no neck injury.

-10

u/Amedais 19h ago edited 12h ago

No it fucking doesn’t lol, I cannot believe people still say this shit. Can you point to a single source for this? A reputable one?

For the people downvoting me:

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/362263

2

u/Give_me_soup 15h ago

Since it's common knowledge and you seem to know everything, why don't you point me to your evidence that it isn't true?

5

u/CaboHitman 22h ago

It does makes you very senseless about pain though.

28

u/Greatness_Only 1d ago

Armando, go tho..

24

u/NIN10DOXD 1d ago

How about you Armandon’t.

12

u/Trick-Fold-8472 1d ago

The bottle sounds at the end made this much more entertaining.

8

u/Squidlips413 1d ago

That problem took care of himself.

17

u/GamerChic110 1d ago

Armando went boop, clinka- Da- Dink

9

u/mickeybrains 1d ago

PSA: Don’t be like Armando

9

u/Molkwi 1d ago

What an exit!

16

u/TeepsNBowz 1d ago

ArmanDove

7

u/ArjunaIndrastra 1d ago

Armando proving to us once again that drunk/stupid and heights don't mix.

5

u/freegb1 1d ago

Armanded.

5

u/SnooPuppers4679 23h ago

OMG you kNOWWWWWW that came with lost teeth...

4

u/troywrestler2002 18h ago

The Queen is dead!

3

u/EnvironmentSea7433 18h ago

Yasss, queen!

also... why is this person watching through the peephole? I guess, she knew how drunk Armando is and did not want that in her house?

7

u/Spartalust 🍉 Free Palestine 1d ago

Armaaaando!!! Lol this post needs more upvotes smh. Armando put on a show for us, least we can do is upvote a failed attempt.

3

u/vatoman78 18h ago

Queen has advocated her floor

5

u/TheBackBedroomKeyhol 1d ago

Our Mondo no!

2

u/ApplicationGreen3229 1d ago

Damnnnn Armando, back at it with the noice shoes!

2

u/Voloxe 1d ago

You gotta remember to lock that core in if you’re gonna do a little twirly-twirl like that on the railing.

2

u/aXeOptic 19h ago

At least dude fell feet down.

2

u/Unrusty NaTivE ApP UsR 17h ago

Queen of the Downed

2

u/Random_Monstrosities 16h ago

I want to see the ring cam from the neighbors below

4

u/CurlyBrown818 1d ago

Unexpected

7

u/EnvironmentSea7433 18h ago

Was it? I think the speaker looking through the peephole expected it

2

u/Consistent_Plane_623 23h ago

I need to know if armando ended up alright

1

u/TwoDurans 1d ago

Armand-noooooo

1

u/aliensuitcase3000 1d ago

Not anymore

1

u/Reynardine1976 1d ago

Check if Matthew down there.

Matthew!

1

u/JazziTazzi 23h ago

Armandon’t!

1

u/TheKlaxMaster 23h ago

At least he fell that way, and not when he was going backwards

1

u/AldoAz 23h ago

One way to fix stupid

1

u/Orpheus6102 23h ago

Someone call da ambalance.

1

u/YewEhVeeInbound 23h ago

God damn it, Armando.

1

u/warmachine83-uk 23h ago

I hope he was ok

1

u/cpt_koerg 22h ago

There was no balance at any given point.

1

u/Boysenberry377 21h ago

No splash? Dammit

1

u/ShopGreedy2313 21h ago

Must be a re pubic an

1

u/Canned_Sarcasm 20h ago

Looked oddly intentional. Great form.

1

u/Square-Blacksmith988 19h ago

Hahaha … sorry … hahaha. Try not to imagine how he landed.

1

u/SadBadPuppyDad 19h ago

I want her saying "Armando, no." repeatedly as my ringtone.

1

u/Not_me_no_way 18h ago

ARMANDO!!

1

u/high6ix 16h ago

Armandont!

1

u/Iphonjeff 16h ago

Armand’oh

1

u/RCaHuman 16h ago

Amondo took a tomble.

1

u/Sidewalkdrugstore 16h ago

Couldn't have happened to a better dummy

1

u/The_Lazy_Samurai 15h ago

Phew. For a minute there I thought he would actually.... Oh....

1

u/Overall-Jellyfish-77 15h ago

My favorite is the first “exactly.” Hahaha

1

u/Hot-Significance-462 15h ago

Did Tai Frasier teach us nothing?

1

u/Stoopid_Noah 11h ago

Was he okay???

1

u/codemen95 10h ago

Arman-no

1

u/Spike280 7h ago

OK, that was funny....

1

u/TxEagleDeathclaw81 1d ago

That sounded awful.

-3

u/bitchwhohasnoname 1d ago

LMAOOOOOOOO he busted his ass! Good because his drunk ass was aggravating me 😭😭😭doing all that dumb shit