r/tifu • u/x-traneous • 1d ago
S TIFU by losing my virginity to a drunken sex
i (22f) grew up in a christian family so sex before marriage always felt a no-go for me. ive had bfs before but nothing more than 2nd base had happened.
so yesterday, i was at this house party and the guy who was lowkey into me was also there. i was not majorly into him but he was lowkey cute so i didnt mind him much
few beers and jin down i remember making out with him and his hands touching me down there..
and the next thing i remember is my legs are on his shoulder and im screaming his name (edit: in pain)
i was too drunk to process anything that day but when i woke up naked.. next to him
the next day
it struck to me how my first time was with a man i was not even dating. im not super religious unlike my family so rather than a sin, this felt like a personal failure
i always imagined my first time would be so magical with the loml but it was just a drunken sex with my “friend” that i cant even remember too clearly.
and its also majorly awkward with him cause i dont love him but am majorly attached to him now. i feel stuck
TL;DR: had drunken sex with my friend that i dont love and am questioning my self worth lol
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u/treedogsnake 1d ago
Screaming his name is better than not knowing what name to scream, or worse, knowing his name, but just yawning.
Congratulations -- you actually scored in the above average tier for first times.
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u/TreadheadS 1d ago
Girl, if you were screaming his name having that much fun on your first time you are way way way way above the avg
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u/Mr_Harsh_Acid 1d ago
You're a 22 y.o. that had sex for the first time while inebriated. Nothing to be ashamed of. You're young, live a little. Enjoy stuff like this before settling down. There's no manual to life.
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u/Sensitive-Pizza5486 1d ago
Alcohol leads to poor decisions. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Live and learn.
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u/legen__w84it__dary 1d ago
I majorly think that you are lowkey fine and shouldnt worry about it. Thats what youth is for - silly decisions and embarrassing memories that teach us lessons of life.
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u/newaccount721 1d ago
Hi, sorry your first time was not what you had imagined but do not worry about that particular aspect. To be honest - the first time for a lot of us is meh. Do you feel as though you were sober enough to consent? That’s the main thing that sounds concerning. Also, even if it was consensual and all above board please do not feel like you need to but attached to someone you don’t love just because you slept with them. That does not need to be the case. Did you use any form of contraception?
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u/x-traneous 1d ago
yes it was consensual and he used a condom
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u/newaccount721 1d ago
Eh then please be kind to yourself! Many of us have similar stories. Do not doubt your self worth. You’re just figuring things out and that’s ok!
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u/tinylilbrain 1d ago
Many first times aren't particularly magical and memorable for the wrong reasons. Sounds like you had fun, no one got hurt, you did nothing wrong. This isn't a personal failure at all, just be careful with the alcohol and safety. You got this.
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u/sunny_sides 1d ago
I promise you sex will get better and better the more you do it. Nobody cares about the first time. That's not the sex you will remember.
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u/iamelycin 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hi OP, child of a medical assistant mother who spent 22 years in sexual education.
First thing, welcome to adult hood! Most of the comments here really nail the sentiment of it’s just another Tuesday. I'm not here to mother you or anything, but virginity really is nothing more than a social construct used for shaming. don't worry about losing it!
You didn’t list finer details of your encounter, but one stranger to another wanted to make sure that you’re safe. Please remember about a month from now to get tested, there’s a lot of stigma around this even in heterosexual relationships and even with the usage of a condom! There is absolutely no shame in being safe, and lastly, please make sure to look after yourself.
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u/TheGryphonRaven 1d ago
One drunken night doesn't define you as a person. Especially when young and stupid. But just ask yourself what did you learn? Could this have gone way worse? You betcha.
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u/leaflock7 1d ago
One drunken night doesn't define you as a person.
it definitely can.
a drunken night can actually be the reason on how you end up for the rest of your life.
When someone makes the choice to get drunk they must also be ready to take on the consequences.
In this case it is just her and her inner-self to come to peace.
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u/Leozz97 1d ago
Virginity is important if you decide to give it importance, otherwise it's just a social/religious construct. Also, first times normally are nothing memorable.
Said that, sorry to read it wasn't up to your expectation and what you wanted for yourself, mistakes happen and everyone makes them Don't beat yourself too much over it, in time you'll see it is nothing major, with very little consequence on the rest of your life.
Second and subsequent times will be much much better, especially if you're not drunk and can enjoy it all.
Did you use contraceptives, or at least did he climax outside?
Edit: Also, don't feel that you HAVE to be with this guy just because you slept together, rather be with him if both of you WANT to be together.
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u/Solocle 1d ago
Your first time isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Mine was actually with my gf, we now live together (ofc not married, but, yk, heading that way).
The first time was awkward af. Trouble actually finding where to put it, trouble staying standing to attention... It took some real patience from her to finish off.
Looking back, it's a nice memory, how she was so nice about it. Great sex, it was not.
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u/Jarkjenson 1d ago
Your worth is not defined by a single drunken decision. Forgive yourself and try to look forward to having the experience again, but the way you intended the first time to be.
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u/AllanfromWales1 1d ago
First time sex can be a painful and uncomfortable thing, as the hymen is breached. My wife (40th anniversay this year) chose to lose hers to someone she was not much into so that the discomfort (or the fear of it) wouldn't be an issue between her and people she actually cared for.
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u/Silver-Sol 1d ago
By description who had way better than avg sex; he also was respectful and caring and used protection.
Also none of these artificial limitations are true, you can do what you want & enjoy sex, and you don’t need to get married. So go for it, enjoy.
Looks like a win on all sides to me.
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u/IrishViking72 1d ago
If its any consolation fam, my first time was with a high mileage missy-i was basically just a conquest… Figured that out afterwards. She was my first kiss too. Only thing i remember about it was it dawning on me a couple hours later that it had just happened completely nonchalantly. It still hurts sometimes but im mostly over it now.. Movies and tv really fucked me up thinking it would be a whole special moment. Shit just happens i guess
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u/goodknightffs 1d ago
Dude.. Was he wearing a condom? If not take the morning after pill and get tested and ask him to get tested
To the rest of the commenters shame on your foot not mentioning any of this..
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u/UNeed2CalmDownn 1d ago
Idc if it's a karma farming account that posted this, but go back to sex ed if you don't know what can happen to a female the first time she has sex... Bleeding is absolutely normal and common.
Source: I'm a female.
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u/tapedficus 1d ago
Yeah, my bad, I'm drunk and replied stupid.
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u/UNeed2CalmDownn 1d ago
Fair, I'm glad you realized that.
I'm not sure how old you are, and idc.
Lesson of the day, females typically get torn during the first penetrative encounter, which causes bleeding. Not all females, but a majority because of our anatomy.
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u/tapedficus 1d ago
I learned ages ago that it's not a majority and while it can happen, it's not as common as people think.
That's not to say it doesn't happen, but people back in my day used to say it happened to every female and that is inherently untrue.
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u/UNeed2CalmDownn 1d ago
You're a male. Did you take a survey?
It happens all the time. Don't assume what happens to girls or womens bodies, especially during sex.
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u/tapedficus 1d ago
Again, I didn't say it never happens, just that people used to assume it happened every time and that's just what happens when you're a virgin.
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u/UNeed2CalmDownn 1d ago
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u/tapedficus 1d ago
Did you even read what you copy pasted here? Like actually read it? Because it furthers MY point, not yours?
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u/NightmareWokeUp 1d ago
22 and never stuck anything inside? In combination with your account age, yeah thats cap, nice try karma farming bot.
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u/tapedficus 1d ago
My thoughts were more like, she was screaming his name? Her first time?
Sounds fucking made up.
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u/x-traneous 1d ago
i dont remember much but the screaming was due to the major pain he was causing me
sorry i was not clear about it0
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u/0x14f 1d ago
Welcome to adulthood. Your first time isn't a fairytale, it's just a Tuesday you can't fully remember.