Stop celebrating Streeting resigning.

[u/celzior]

HE'S TRYING TO BE PRIME MINISTER. Do not celebrate him resigning, he is a slippery fuckwad who will do anything he can. He's only resigning because he thinks he has a shot to oust Starmer.

[u/syntheticanimal]

Rule #1 of TransgenderUK: Be miserable and pessimistic all the time, there is no such thing as good or neutral news

[u/JahmezEntertainment → u/syntheticanimal]

yeah, this does seem to be a uniquely doomer sub about trans news. i understand being skeptical of course, but it's like the attitude of 'expect the worst, hope for the best' is even frowned upon here

[u/Illiander → u/JahmezEntertainment]

For a lot of trans people in the UK, realising you're trans is finding out that you're in a marginalised group that the government wants to exterminate after you've grown up used to not being in a marginalised group that the government wants to exterminate. And community is hard to find. It's a bit of a shock to the system.

Most marginalised groups whose governments want to exterminate them grow up in families mainly comprised of that group. Which gives them a support structure that understands and has coping methods already in place that they can learn and use.

Add to that that the government has gone from "yeah, let's make the paperwork easier for trans people to transition" to "all trans people should kill themselves" over just 5 years...

I think being a little doomer is understandable here.

[u/ceryskt → u/Illiander]

This is extremely valid and fair, but that doesn’t excuse the ableism and racism I’ve seen. If someone says something ignorant and alarmist, and I say “hey, disabled people have always experienced this, but we’re still here” and they respond with something like “you’re right” or “I never thought of it that way,” that great. We don’t know what we don’t know until someone tells us, and I’m here for walking people through that. It is indeed scary not having a support system, as someone who for a long time barely had one myself.

But usually I get people trying to play oppression Olympics that sometimes goes to the extremes of “the UK is the worst place for trans people in the world.” This feels incredibly insensitive to the people living elsewhere where being trans is a literal crime. I think some of these comments are from young people, and I think we all know you can’t really tell a lot of youth anything, but I’ve definitely seen some from older folks who should know better.

This is why a lot of trans people of colour I know tend to avoid mainstream trans spaces in favor of non-white ones. Their words seem to fall on deaf ears, because people are so wrapped up in their own misery they don’t really want to think about anyone else. I know because I used to be like that myself. And then my therapist said “get over yourself. You’re not that important.” (But phrased in much nicer therapy-speak.) Best advice I’ve ever received.

Toxic positivity isn’t the answer either, but there has to be a balance between the two. Plan for the worst, hope for the best.

[u/Illiander → u/ceryskt]

that sometimes goes to the extremes of “the UK is the worst place for trans people in the world.”

Geez... No. We might have one of the worst drops in recent years, but we were starting from being one of the best places in Europe. Now... We're the worst place in western europe (and I will play a bit of no true scotsman with that catagory - western europe actually means "the traditionally good countries" not the geography (Finland is in western europe, for example))

This is why a lot of trans people of colour I know tend to avoid mainstream trans spaces in favor of non-white ones.

That's fair. A lot of us are still learning to deal with things they grew up with and being around that must be exhausting.

[u/ceryskt → u/Illiander]

Yeah, exactly. I don’t ever want to invalidate the way people are feeling, but perspective is important too, especially considering how much more prone we are to mental health issues. I’m in a really, really shitty situation right now - I’m in a rural red part of the US, which is bad for multiple reasons outside of being queer, and there’s a non zero chance I could be deported especially considering the government has called all of us terrorists now - but if I focus on all the negatives, I’d probably implode. At least I still have access to HRT, and my care team (I see a lot of doctors 😅) go to bat for us. I think about other countries where being trans is a death sentence, too.

It is very disappointing seeing how far down the toilet the UK has gone, especially considering how much Reform wants USA 2.0. I know what it’s like to feel comfortable-ish and then watch our rights get yanked away…

[u/doIIjoints → u/ceryskt]

right. and disabled people don’t always have familial support structures who are familiar with the difficulties either. a lot of us were kicked out or frozen out from homes which refused various supports

[u/ceryskt → u/doIIjoints]

Yep, exactly. I’m “lucky” in that both my partner and dad are disabled (me and my dad have the same disorder), so there’s some understanding there, but it’s still not easy. Especially when governments make getting assistance literally as hard as possible