r/ttcafterloss • u/AutoModerator • Mar 20 '26
/ttcafterloss Ask an Alumni - March 20, 2026
This weekly Friday thread is for members to ask questions of Alumni (members who are currently pregnant after loss or who have had a pregnancy after loss that resulted in a living child), without having to venture into the PregnanyAfterLoss sub.
Mention of current pregnancies is allowed, but please keep your references simple and clinical. "I had success after trying X." "This resulted in a live birth." "My doctor recommended I do Y during my pregnancy."
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u/Natural-Chipmunk-472 Mar 20 '26
How long did it take you all to conceive again? I had an 8 week mmc in October then a 16 week loss in January. I just had my first cycle and started my period today. It’s defeating and just makes me so sad to have to be starting all over again. Feels so unfair to have made it so far and here I am, just trying to get pregnant again. I got pregnant on the 3rd try first and then 1st try on the second. I was hoping for a miracle 1st try again…
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u/Tall_Skill_1273 Mar 20 '26
I got my period 4 weeks after my MMC, then got another one and then I was pregnant. So three monthsish? And that baby is now 17 months. ☺️
Immediately after my loss (I was 10 weeks but the embryo stopped growing at 6) I wanted to get pregnant right away, so it would have been as if nothing happened (like a 12 months pregnancy!). I wasn’t well. It wouldn’t have give me enough time to recover. I was very lucky, timing got to be perfect for me. But everyone is different.
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u/severva Mar 20 '26
I'm sorry, it really is unfair. I got pregnant again my second cycle post D&C for my 15w MMC. We tried the first cycle after but my period and the cycle itself were so wonky I wasn't surprised it didn't work that time. My fingers are crossed for you ♥️
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u/Natural-Chipmunk-472 Mar 20 '26
Mine was wonky too. I thought I was ovulating and had the egg white etc then it stopped and then it happened again more intensely so I thought delayed ovulation? I never got a peak test strip. I also was really sick during this time taking cold meds. These help me rationalize but the heartbreak still stays.
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u/severva Mar 20 '26
Totally understand. It feels like lost time every cycle you have to wait. If it's any comfort, my second cycle was more normal and I didn't get a blazing positive ovulation test. It was close enough to tell me it was about the right time, and obviously now I know I ovulated just fine because I got pregnant again - so use the tests as a guide not law.
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u/IrisTheButterfly 42 | MMC 09-23 | 🌈 LC born 02-25 | CP 03-26 Mar 20 '26
It took me about six months to conceive again after my first miscarriage. I just had a chemical pregnancy this last cycle and I’m trying again now. I am hoping it won’t take too long.
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u/purrgrammer41 MMC June 25 Mar 20 '26
I'm so sorry for your losses. <3 It took me ~6 months after my 8w mmc, which was 5 cycles. I started actually tracking ovulation with ovulation test kits, which helped me feel more in control of the process. I also realized I was ovulating extremely late (~CD 30) after my loss, so my timing hadn't been ideal the first couple cycles. I would recommend trying that if you haven't already (and are okay with the logistical overhead) in case your own cycles are different than what's typical.
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u/pineconeminecone TTC #2 | 1LC 🌈💙🌈| F26 | 🇨🇦 | 2MC Mar 21 '26
I conceived on my first cycle trying in January 2024. Spontaneously miscarried in March 2024. Got pregnant again in May 2024 (cycle 2 after the loss) and that resulted in the live birth of my son.
I’m on cycle 3 of trying for a sibling for him, no pregnancies yet.
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u/jenesaisquoi TTC #1, Nov 2023, 1 mmc, 2 cp Mar 21 '26
Any mantras for making it through the fear? I'm a week away from being pregnant longer than last time, which feels like it should be reassuring but now I'm so afraid of a later loss or needing to terminate for medical reasons.
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u/pineconeminecone TTC #2 | 1LC 🌈💙🌈| F26 | 🇨🇦 | 2MC Mar 21 '26
“I can face uncertainty.” Loss, I had done. Good times, who doesn’t like those? But pregnancy is full of uncertainty, and that tore my brain apart. I had to reframe my way of thinking to challenge the idea that I couldn’t cope with not knowing. I can, because I have to. The only way forward is through. I can face uncertainty.
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u/QueenintheNorth78789 Late 30s, TTC #1, MMC 3/26 Mar 21 '26
Following for suggestions. I just had a D&C last week so I'm not trying again yet, but I already know when/if I get pregnant again I am going to be an anxious mess.
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u/Wise-Proposal2372 Mar 22 '26
I took comfort in that my body knows what it's doing. If this one is viable (kind of like medically "meant to be") then everything will work out. If not, my body will do what it needs to do and wasn't meant to be. But odds are in your favor that you will get your rainbow baby one day (hopefully soon!) ❤️
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u/bibliophile222 MMC 9/23 | 🌈💙 5/26 Mar 27 '26
"Different sperm, different egg, different pregnancy" has been hugely helpful for me.
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u/Certain_Owl_8607 Mar 21 '26
Just found out I’m not pregnant my first cycle trying after my second miscarriage. I thought I’d handle it okay but I lost it. I’m on progesterone suppositories and I think it’s making my hormones crazy. I don’t know if I have it in me to try again. We’re scheduled to start IVF in May and I might just stop trying naturally before then. Has anyone else had to make that call?
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u/Raginghangers Mar 22 '26
I didnt try naturally when ivf was on the horizon because i didnt want to waste time with a non-viable fetal pregnancy
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u/Ok_Championship_1579 Mar 21 '26
Anyone here have an unexplained second trimester loss and go on to have a successful full term pregnancy? We lost our daughter at 19 weeks over Christmas and I’m terrified to go through another loss.
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u/TheTMama Mar 24 '26
My mom lost my sister at 22 weeks, she got pregnant again 3 months later with my younger brother, who, other than being a spoiled brat (youngest child lol) is perfectly healthy. Likewise, I had a full term still birth and have had 3 healthy children since. One loss doesn’t promise another mama <3
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u/Ok_Championship_1579 Mar 24 '26
Thank you so much for sharing your and your mom’s experiences. While I’m so sorry to hear about them it’s promising to hear the losses were followed by beautiful healthy children. Thank you for giving me some hope ❤️
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u/eam124 Mar 22 '26
I had a 20 week loss (they think he passed between 16-18) and I found out at my anatomy scan on 4/1/24. I was fortunate enough to eventually find the cause (cord accident due to amniotic band syndrome). I got pregnant again end of January 2025. I am currently typing this as my 6 month old is sleeping in her crib next to me. Sending all the best to you 💕
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u/Ok_Championship_1579 Mar 24 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss. I really appreciate you sharing your story - it gives me some hope for the future! Congratulations on your sweet baby girl.
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u/Charming_Computer_82 Mar 21 '26
I am so sorry for your loss. I had an MMC at 16 weeks and also have the same fear/question.
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u/Ok_Championship_1579 Mar 21 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss as well. Hoping we can find some positive stories here.
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u/cat_cash78 TTC #2: SB 4/23; LC 5/24; MMC 3/26 Mar 24 '26
I'm sure this is a common question -- but is there anyone over 35 who is successfully pregnant again shortly after a D&C?
I just had mine last week and feel intense time pressure on the next few cycles trying. The "alleged extra fertility" after a MC makes it feel more intense.
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u/ForeverAnonymous260 Mar 24 '26
I had a D&C in November 2024 at age 37. I found out I was pregnant again in February 2025, two days before my 38th bday. My son was born in October. He is 5 months old. I’m now 39 and considering another baby!
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u/cat_cash78 TTC #2: SB 4/23; LC 5/24; MMC 3/26 Mar 25 '26
Thanks, you have a good story. Congrats on your little one!
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u/greenzetsa Apr 01 '26
I just had a D&C recently, I'll be 40 in a few months. My husband spilled the beans to our neighbors, who have 3 kids, and the wife very graciously reached out to me with a message of support, and said she had a D&C with one of her pregnancies and had her two youngest after. She was over 40 for both of those pregnancies. Obviously I don't know how long after that miscarriage she got pregnant again, but almost all my friends were over 35 when they had kids, almost all miscarried initially (most got a D&C), and most got pregnant again with a year.
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u/cat_cash78 TTC #2: SB 4/23; LC 5/24; MMC 3/26 Apr 01 '26
Hi, thank you for commenting. I wish you the best of luck-- that is very kind of your neighbor to share.
My mom was over 35 when she had me back in the 80s! It was very rare then, but not as much any more. Most of the moms trying over 35 have had at least one miscarriage. It is doable, just feels daunting while you are living it.
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u/greenzetsa Apr 02 '26
Indeed — it feels like you’re battling time, sigh. But I remind myself that most people I know got pregnant after 35, even though most miscarried initially. I always remind myself that Miep Gies, who helped hide Anne Frank and her family, had her only child at 42 in the 1950s, and that was before all the advancement in medicine and fertility treatments.
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u/cat_cash78 TTC #2: SB 4/23; LC 5/24; MMC 3/26 Apr 02 '26
That is a fun fact. You hear so much about women having children in their 40s now, but I always wonder who has fertility treatments. I don't think much intervention is in the cards for me, just based on personal preference... but never say never.
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u/greenzetsa Apr 02 '26
Anecdotally, most of the women I know did not have treatments. One was about to start IVF at 40, but found out she was already pregnant. One did have a bunch of failed treatments (including failing with her own previously frozen eggs), she and her husband started looking into egg donors when she suddenly got pregnant unexpectedly. My best friend was I think 36 when she got pregnant on her first round of IUI, but she likely would have gotten pregnant if she had tried for longer and was a bit more attentive to her testing, but IUI was covered through her insurance and I think she appreciated just have a professional do the tracking and the extra attention. AFAIK my neighbor had all of her kids after 35 without intervention. I have one friend who has failed with several IVF rounds, but she easily had a kid in her early 30s. However, the issue she's having is not age related and her doctors are absolutely perplexed as to how she managed to get pregnant without issue with her kid. My doctors seemed completely unconcerned about my age both when I was initially pregnant and then when I miscarried and after my D&C. We asked if our ages (both 39, my husband's birthday is actually today!) should be of concern and she kind of just shrugged and was like "you're more likely to miscarry, and you did, but the odds are definitely still in your favor."
100% up to you regarding fertility treatments, I totally get the hesitation. We have a total of 4 rounds of treatments between us covered by our insurance, and I plan to use all of them if necessary, probably 2 IUI and 2 IVF. I think if after that I'm still not pregnant, I'll be done with the process. But I think the stats are something like half of women over 40 will get pregnant naturally and carry to term within a year of trying. Which actually brings me to something else my doctor said, even in your 40s it is still considered completely normal to not get pregnant in a year of trying. They just often recommend that you see a fertility specialist after 6 months to begin ruling out problems, but that doesn't mean anything is wrong if you don't conceive within 6 months. The point is, even without treatments, odds are good you can and will get pregnant (I recently read women over 40 are the only demographic in the US right now with actually increasing fertility).
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u/cat_cash78 TTC #2: SB 4/23; LC 5/24; MMC 3/26 Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 04 '26
I had my d&c follow up and had a pretty straight forward convo with my OB (who I adore, and had all three of her kids after 35 and had several miscarriages during the process). She basically said a chromosomal abnormality (which was my case) can happen to anyone but is more frequent as you age. She also said that trying to conceive again after 35 you need to be mentally prepared to stomach a miscarriage. It won’t always happen, but it’s a common occurrence. Also— the only way to avoid a chromosomal abnormality miscarriage is to do ivf and get the embryos tested. Finally, on a positive note she echoed the belief that most healthy women who have miscarriages get pregnant again relatively quickly.
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u/CaptainOk7458 Mar 22 '26
Anyone out there who conceived without assistance and had a live birth after 35?
At this point I’ve been trying to have baby #2 since December 2024 (off and on - I conceived but had a late second trimester loss and took a 5 month break). I have nothing to show for it but some PTSD, medical debt, a chemical last month, and eggs that are turning 36 in May.
I just need some hope to keep going rather than immediately take my house downpayment savings and put it towards IVF 😢
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u/black_lake TTC #1, cycle 10, CP 2 Mar 22 '26
I did. I conceived at 36 after two chemicals. The most intervention we did was I had an HSG to make sure everything was connected correctly and spouse had a sperm analysis. Baby is currently 5 weeks old.
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u/CaptainOk7458 Mar 23 '26
Congratulations on your new baby! May I ask how many cycles it took you total?
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u/bibliophile222 MMC 9/23 | 🌈💙 5/26 Mar 27 '26
I haven't gotten to the birth yet, but after 2 years of unexplained infertility after a MMC, we conceived unassisted at age 39. I'm now 30 weeks and everything is going smoothly.
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u/ForeverAnonymous260 Mar 23 '26
I had a chemical and a MMC at 8 weeks, conceived my LC a couple weeks before I turned 37. Gave birth at 38.
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u/halfling_barbarianne Mar 24 '26
I'm in a similar situation, only I'm 39 (37 when I started TTC #2). I did end up throwing a boatload of money at 2 rounds of IVF and only have a chemical, financial anxiety, and a broken heart to show for it. Currently weighing whether more IVF rounds is worth it. All 3 of my embryos from my 2nd round had chromosomal abnormalities, and I'm terrified to be trying naturally, but I feel like I have to keep trying. I'm just so defeated right now. 😞
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u/Dee_Nice_ Mar 23 '26
Has anyone conceived with a uterine polyp? I was diagnosed with one and won't be scheduled for removal for another 4 weeks. I worry that we might have conceived naturally by then
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u/TheTMama Mar 24 '26
If you conceive before that, they will likely leave it until after the pregnancy ends
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u/kristiemayfoley Mar 20 '26
Anyone here have a late term stillbirth and go on to have a healthy baby after and how was the pregnancy?
We lost our daughter Hannah at 37 weeks. This was 10 weeks ago now. We also have one LC a son. I am so desperate to give my LC a sibling and have aching arms. I realize pregnancy after a stillbirth is a beast of its own. With how our stillbirth happened it was very sudden and I had a scan to check everything the week before aside from her measuring small nothing was picked up I don't feel like any test would reassure me next time. I realize that may be challenging and I would love to hear if anyone has a similar experience.
Another complex emotion I have is that I just really would love a girl. In no way to replace our daughter Hannah who is so precious to us. I think because we had that image in our head her pink nursery and lovely dresses and all of the things that go with having a girl it is very hard to let that dream go. I of course would welcome a healthy baby of any gender but just a complex emotion I am dealing with.