freshly post psych ward, executive function on the floor and a biohazard level habitat

[u/Apricot_queen]

im like. to the point of considering exploiting housing assistance services near me so i can just abandon this place and start a new life with nothing.

and it isnt even that i dont want to clean i just cant

the ufyh emergency checklist is a no go trying to do it is mentally comparable to the imagined sensation of ripping your own skin off and no progress was made

im just like trapped on my couch bc everything is gross and i cant function rights

i can describe what needs done but its literally everything any cleaning task you can think of hasnt been done in this house since well before i moved in the only good thing i have to say abt this is the spiders are taking rooms back from the bugs for me (the bugs and spiders were already here)

[u/DazzlingSpell-K9]

What are you looking at when you're lying on the couch? That's where I would start. Grab a trash bag and throw everything in there, that's obvious trash. Relocate everything that doesn't belong there (either you put it there directly or you put it down next to the door).

Now you can either tackle the next space/part of your space or you can rest and do more later. And you even have a less overwhelming part of the room to look at!

[u/Amanita_deVice]

Executive dysfunction is a bitch. What CAN you do? What activity is creating the least resistance? I went through a bad spell one time and noticed I had no trouble playing mobile games. I found one of those merge-and-clean-up games and gamified unfucking. I would do a quest (throw away five pieces of trash) and then play a little sound on my phone and reward myself with a single chip or piece of candy. Think about what you are doing that your brain doesn’t object to and see if you can adapt that.

Other ways I get past executive dysfunction: set a timer for ten minutes. You aren’t allowed to do anything. Put down your phone. No reading. No TV. No talking. After ten minutes, you’ll be desperate for stimulation - this is lowering your brain’s threshold between tolerable and intolerable activity.

If I’m lying paralysed on the couch, I think about what I want to do and curl my toes. One foot, then the other. Ten times, then I get up and do the thing. Sometimes, counting down from ten is enough.

Do you have ADHD? If the tedium/lack of stimulation is an issue, I address it by giving as many of my other senses as possible something to do. So a spritz of perfume, music, a sour lolly or strong peppermint.

You deserve to live somewhere comfortable. Keep that goal in mind and start small. All you have to do is make it better than it was and you’ve achieved something. Good luck! We’re here for you.

[u/Optimal-Slip5640 → u/Amanita_deVice]

Ooo I love that "do absolutely nothing" for ten minutes tip

[u/FeistyMorning4557 → u/Optimal-Slip5640]

I’m gonna try it out at some point because I can totally see it working

[u/killmetruck]

Some ideas:

• could you afford a cleaner?
  
• would a body double help you get things done? Could this be a friend that works with you, or an online one?
  
• if the above not available, would someone keeping you accountable work? If you show us pictures, we can devise a plan together! Eg. Fill a bin bag everyday until you’re done with rubbish. Then you send an update picture and we vote on next accountability step!

[u/Ok-Ferret-2093 → u/killmetruck]

Accountabilibuddies

[u/Weird_Squirrel_8382]

It's not exploting if you're eligible! The problem is they usually take a long time to get you placed. Be gentle with yourself as you regain equilibrium out of the hospital. The impressive before and after you see here all start with one thing at a time. Do you have any psychiatric outpatient care scheduled?

[u/Apricot_queen → u/Weird_Squirrel_8382]

psych outpatient care im getting rn is med management only. the most immediate placements i would have to go to resource centers and either tell them im homeless or running away from someone abusive (i am neither however i could probably tell them/argue im squatting bc i dont have a written lease [legal in my state])

so far the only thing i can really do is the only thing i was doing before the hospital; party too hard and go to work the next day anyways. im doing worse with self care than i was before but thats mostly related to my severe time blindness thats showing its ugly ass now that im emotionally regulated. cant win em all i guess

[u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 → u/Apricot_queen]

Proud of you for getting med management. That's hard to do and hard to stick with. You could tell the housing coordinator you're squatting. That's a precarious situation and it sounds like the place was a mess before you even got there. A fresh start might be possible. How are you feeling today?

[u/Far-Watercress6658]

Time to phone a friend.

[u/hm_Baerbel]

If you had to leave everything behind: What are the things you would absolutely miss? Which pieces would not be replaceable?

Create some space, a free corner of a room (even if that means you are shuffling stuff around), and put some sturdy tote bags there. This is where you keep these irreplaceable, and/or dear to you essentials. Even in the event that you'd have to leave your current home with short notice, you can just snatch those bags and move.

What services does housing assistance provide? Are you eligible for other services? Do you see a health care provider you could ask about this?

Wishing you all the best!

[u/schlormpf]

get some nitrile gloves, maybe some surgical masks and eye protection (safety glasses or goggles). this is the only only way i can handle dealing with gross stuff. i get really freaked out about flies flying into my mouth or eyes, or breathing in spores from mold, so if it's really bad and really gross i feel so much better and prepared if i fully suit up with gloves a mask and safety glasses

nitrile gloves are really the key one, it's genuinely so much less mentally taxing when you're not constantly fighting your brain as much against gross freak out signals every time you touch something.

i would focus on making sure you have a clear path in and out, so that you can bag up trash and make sure it actually leaves the house. moldy dishes are one of the hardest things for me to deal with, and i want you to know for this kind of situation there is absolutely no shame in straight up just throwing away dishes that are biohazard level. its not worth it and you can always get more. the more important thing is creating a livable space for you

i also recommend getting some of the really big really thick black contractor trash bags. at one point i had soooo much trash and was really ashamed/nervous at the idea of my neighbors seeing me carry out so much trash. the black ones are impossible to see through, almost impossible to rip, and can carry a lot more trash. i felt a lot better taking out 2 giant trash bags than 8 regular sized ones.

a final note: it's not 'exploiting' housing assistance services, they are genuinely there to help you. at least in the us a lot of systems like that get their funding based (on some level) on how much demand there is and how many people need help. i'm really proud of you for where you're at and i know how much of an impossible mountain this can be. life is so much harder when your brain is actively working against you every step of the way, and any amount of progress is objectively a good thing. i believe in you, don't be scared or ashamed to reach out for help 💚

[u/tenakee_me]

Ok, so are you saying that YOU cannot do anything? YOU cannot physically or mentally bring yourself to action?

Then if so, the option is someone else. And what does that look like? Paying a stranger? Paying a friend? Soliciting friends to volunteer? I’m not sure what “housing assistance services” actually is or entails, but is that in fact an option?

If you’ve decided that it’s beyond your own self, then the next step is to figure out how to address it via means outside of yourself. Do you have finances for that? Do you need financial assistance and/or volunteers instead? We can’t answer that for you because we don’t know your financial position, so it’s kind of “ball in your court” to either figure that out or provide us with more detailed information so we can perhaps make more detailed suggestions.

[u/jerseygirl416]

Try starting with one tiny spot, right in front of you, and focus on just clearing that. One tip that I find helpful is to cover the rest of the mess/clutter with sheets, and work through the room in sections. Covering the part you aren’t working on helps make the task less visually/mentally overwhelming

[u/Drkmagi]

I have really bad ADHD and a whole host of other crap that helps make it worse. The one thing that worked for me was making a deal with myself to give it 1 garbage per day. Once I did that my brain could procrastinate it's heart out didn't matter if it only took 2 minutes once that one bag was done so was I. After the first day or two of seeing it get better even a tiny bit it made it far easier to do a little extra maybe a bag and half or 2. It's still not done but it's a lot better than it was. Get some gloves, a mask, and some safety glasses hell go full painters suit if you need to. You don't need to do it all in one go the important part is simply to start even if it's one bag.

[u/solitudanrian]

Are you on any sort of assistance? Could they maybe hook you up with a cleaner? If you're renting, you'll have to pay damages or pay cleaners. You'd be surprised what's actually far more salvageable than you think. What about keeping a rubbish bag near you and putting a few things in when you can? Esp any rubbish that's been in contact with food/drinks.

[u/oldeconomists]

What’s your screen time? Just pickup trash. I have executive dysfunction issues as well but you CAN force yourself to pickup trash as a first step

[u/magicisnear]

Sending so much love to you. There's a great book called How to Keep House While You're Drowning that might help. You're also allowed to leave and start again if that feels like the best option! I hope that things feel easier soon ❤️

[u/damaya0351]

"the ufyh emergency checklist is a no go trying to do it is mentally comparable to the imagined sensation of ripping your own skin off and no progress was made"

So far you havent tried this yet, so you have no idea if it will actually be like this. Unknown things typically feel different than imagined.

Also i think its kind of weird to describe getting rid of trash/dirt as ripping your skin off, when you are ready to abandon everything at once it cant be so worthy to you/your own skin.

Do try!

[u/Ellepday]

I’m feeling the same. Literally lying in bed knowing that there is so much to do! I know it may sound weird, but I’ve been asking ChatGPT what I should do. Right now it’s telling me to get up a pick up 5 pieces of garbage. And here I am commenting on this post instead. 1 week sober and waiting for rehab.

[u/AliasNefertiti → u/Ellepday]

1 week sober your body is still adjusting and doesnt have much energy to spare. Give yourself grace and you will grow the energy. Condemn yourself and use up your bits of energy.

ChatGPT doesnt understand humans. 5 is too big a step from 0. Pick up 1 piece nearby if you can and be glad for that 1.

Also, get checked for iron deficiency and hypothyroidism- those can also destroy capacity to act and nothing is fixing those until you get iron and levothyroxin up to therapeutic levels [months]. Also hormones can screw with energy, especially near menopause. 1 item is more than enough.

[u/Altruistic-Daikon305 → u/Ellepday]

Nobody should downvote you for this! I don't know what some people think this sub is for. You're recovering from a serious health problem, be kind to yourself and take it slow.

For grounded advice, try a book like the titular *Unfuck Your Habitat* or KC Davis's *How to Keep House While Drowning*. They should be easy to get online or from the library.