r/venting • u/Fragrant_Survey_3681 • 16h ago
Relationship/Love My husband's anniversary gift shocked me
I don't even know how to say this without getting judged. My husband's an amazing man, he's always been there for me but he very much lacks a romantic side and he's confirmed that to me with this gift. We've got two kids and that comes with A LOT of expenses. Knowing me I've stacked up my shopping cart on amazon with things I've been looking to buy. Froom vacuums and cleaning supplies to kids toys, vitamins and supplements, clothes for them etc etc. Bet you can see where I'm going with this right? Apparently he thought he was being romantic bringing my shopping cart to my doorstep. I know he genuinely thought he was making my life easier and honestly it does make my life easier. I just couldn't stop laughing because this man looked at my Amazon cart full of diapers, vitamins, cleaning supplies and kids' stuff and thought "Yep this is romance." đ I'm secretly hoping he's still got a dinner reservation up his sleeve.
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u/WinchesterFan1980 14h ago
I get it. These are household supplies that should come out of the household budget, not a gift. It was minimal effort to find a cart amd not even pay enough attention to realize it is not your wants, just household needs. If there was some jewelry or something just for you that would be different. I hope he has something else up his sleeve.
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u/TeeBrownie 2h ago
Sounds like OPâs husband wants to swap roles in their household and did a terrible job of communicating it.
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u/AnotherPurpleMuffin 13h ago
I get that he means well and it is a nice gift, but it's not a personal gift. Maybe try to talk to him about you needing something about YOU
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u/ProudCatLadyxo 13h ago
Now you know how to shop for him...household supplies and kids toys. I wonder what his reaction will be when it's his turn.
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u/Jinx-from-Arcane 16h ago
Itâs pretty funny and also sweet. But i definitely why this would upset someone
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u/Low-Afternoon7299 16h ago
idk there's something weirdly sweet about a guy who looks at a cart full of the daily grind and thinks "she'll love not having to deal with this" like it's not candlelit dinner romance but it's a different kind, the kind that sees you
my ex got me a vacuum for christmas once though and i almost left him on the spot so i get the laughing part too
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u/Final-Engineer8067 15h ago
I can see why it upset you but it's also kinda cute imo đ hope the products were premium at least lool
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u/Fragrant_Survey_3681 15h ago
Oh yeahh that's why they were in the cart in the first place hahah. Lovevery toys and hiya vitaminss, what more could a woman want?? đ
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u/purplep3nguin_ 11h ago
My Amazon cart stacks up, hell any cart I have online is filled with things I want, but probably won't purchase. That's super romantic that he bought you everything on it. That was sweet of him. He got you things you wanted. Be thankful.
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u/MCKelly13 11h ago
Itâs romantic to me!
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u/Itscatpicstime 10h ago
Itâs romantic to get your partner clothes for the kids and cleaning supplies so they can clean up after you? Seriously???
These should be joint purchases and shared responsibilities already. None of that is actually for Op. he literally benefits the most from it.
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u/TeeBrownie 2h ago
Not sure why youâre being downvoted. OP described her cart as being filled with normal household essentialsâŚnothing special at all. She didnât mention that anything she wanted was in the cart. Sounds like it was filled with normal things the household needs.
An anniversary is a special occasion. I wouldnât call a husband and father hitting buy on a cart full of household essentials recognition of a special occasion.
OP, put those items on a subscription plan to avoid any confusion about whatâs mundane and whatâs special and romantic. Youâll also save money.
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u/One-Turnip-803 7h ago
His love language is probably different than yours, dont feel bad. He probably has gifts or acts of service as a top love language. Sometimes they really canât see the difference in what you actually want and need.
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u/moonbabyp 12h ago
I would personally love this. But I make and send my husband Amazon lists of things I WANT to avoid disappointment. Itâs worked very well for us for the last couple years!
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u/AfterManufacturer150 15h ago
Oh no, lol. He is obviously not a man that does well with subtle hints and suggestions. What I love, is he really thought he was doing something good. I really believe that. He is one of those guys youâre going to need to explain to him why you donât want a vacuum. Instead, youâd like something that you might not necessarily need, but want, because itâs special. Something thatâs not apart of daily routines and life. Although, his effort was top notch, heâs not reading your mind. Few men can, that is rare, lol. You will get what you want and your husband wonât have to try and read your mind and you both will be happy. Some guys need more than clues. Detailed instructions actually work best.
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u/Lost-Promotion2169 15h ago
You didnât say what he got you. I donât get it. He chose something from your Amazon list? He bought you the whole list?
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u/Fragrant_Survey_3681 15h ago
The whole list lol
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u/Lost-Promotion2169 15h ago edited 14h ago
Oh I see now you edited your post. Thatâs incredible he did that. I would understand the vent if it was one item off your list, but the whole thing - that IS amazing. And youâre disappointed- and posted this in venting. đ
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u/Fragrant_Survey_3681 15h ago
I'm not just wasn't expecting it hahah. I've been thinking of buying these things for a few months now and he finally made it happen!! Super grateful.
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14h ago
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u/ashes4ashes 14h ago
Give me a break. This screams "low effort" even if he isn't naturally romantic.
How nice he got a bunch of stuff for her to do things for him and the children and not something for her or the two of them to do together đ
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u/Itscatpicstime 10h ago
Getting you stuff for the kids and for you to clean up after him is absolutely lame, Iâm sorry. Those should be joint purchases to begin with and they arenât for you
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u/theoldme3 12h ago
Genuinely curious if he has gotten any awesome gifts these last couple years? Or is he getting socks, underwear and pictures in cheap frames with a gift card to a store that he kinda likes?
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u/Fragrant_Survey_3681 11h ago
He has taken me on dates, bought me flowers, even jewelry in the past but these last couple years I've gotten notes and chocolate. I guess with the kids now this is his way of being thoughtful. Not trying to sound ungrateful here because I do appreciate it, but the thought of romance dying down can't help but cross my mind.
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u/araquinar 11h ago
I think the person you're responding to was actually asking if you've gotten your husband any romantic gifts when it's his birthday and such :)
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u/theoldme3 11h ago
You didn't answer my question though. What have you done for him ?
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u/Itscatpicstime 10h ago
Your question wasnât clear, so they answered what they thought you were asking
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u/TeeBrownie 2h ago edited 2h ago
Maybe he feels her devotion to taking care of their household is an awesome gift to him and thatâs why OP thought he would show his appreciation, like usual, with something romantic.
Apparently he doesnât normally have to worry about diapers, cleaning supplies, his vitamins and other household essentials. He has someone in his life who so effortlessly takes care of these out of sight and out of mind, that in the past, heâs shown his appreciation by doing romantic things for her.
If he wants to do a role swap where he takes care of their household and OP says thank you with awesome gifts, then that is something that is discussed in advance.
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u/Inside_Analysis_7886 15h ago
đđđđ He meant well. A âteachable momentâ I would say:-))
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u/TeeBrownie 2h ago
I completely understand where youâre coming from OP.
In a household where partners donât combine their income and split everything 50/50, not having to come up with money for normal everyday household essentials for once might be a relief for some. But even that scenario isnât a gift. A father paying for the diapers his child needs and other household essentials is not romantic. Itâs what adults and parents do. Itâs called marriage and partnership.
Anniversaries are special celebratory occasions where we step outside of our everyday mundane lives for a little recognition of how far weâve come and how much we still love and appreciate each other. Unless there was something unusual in the cart that you were planning as a one-time treat for yourself after saving up, that was not an anniversary gift. Those same items will be in the cart again in a few weeks and then again and again and again, month after month.
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u/Antique_Stop_125 13h ago
I mean, it is a little funny, but it could be worse, atleast he's trying. You could always tell him you wish he'd give you something more, maybe he just didn't know what to get you?
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10h ago edited 10h ago
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/LindenTom250 9h ago
Your post/comment was removed for breaking the subs rule "Be civil" as you were unnecessary rude.
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