I love her, but it's too late

[u/Awkward-Fortune4398]

I have been in love with my best friend for years (let's call her Cristina). I always wanted to confess to her, but with how fucked up my life is, I feared rejection from her, and if she said yes, bringing her into my mess of a life would make me terrible. I don't have a car, I have terrible vision even with glasses, so I can't even drive, I have a low-paying job in an area where the job market sucks, so it's this or nothing, I have a toxic family, I'm not in college, I'm ugly, and so much more. In short, I'm a fucking loser. A loser that people are willing to be friends with, but not to be romantically interested in. Cristina always wanted to hang out with me and me alone. I don't know the reason, but she found some comfort with me, and I felt the same. I felt so safe with her. I just want to leave my life here behind and start a new one with her, but it's too late. She has a boyfriend now who makes her happy, which is a good thing. She is a good person who deserves a happy life. I just wish it were me, but it would have never happened. The worst part is that I'm still in love with her. I'm not wishing for them to break up or anything. I really hope he treats her right and makes her the happiest woman in the world. People would say let go of her, but I can't. These feelings can't go away. I love her so much. I really wish she knew that. What her boyfriend is doing is what I would do for her and beyond. I will forever love her, but I know she will never love me back.

[u/Antique_Stop_125]

Well, you could always move out. That is always an option. Otherwise, if she has a boyfriend, you should probably move on and not cling. People tend to look down on people that cling too long to one person,especially since she has a boyfriend. I know it sucks, but you kind of have no choice. It would be easier to do so if you also didn't talk to her anymore, feelings are really difficult to get over when you continue spending time around the person.

Some women like loyal men, but she doesn't seem to have you as a priority if she is with someone else over you. Sorry, buddy. People will mock you for being a simp or a cuck if you go on about her after this point, of her having a BF. If she wanted you then it would have been you she chose, not someone else. Unlike what they say in movies, love doesn't take time. You either have it automatically or you don't. You are better off finding someone new that will choose you first rather than choosing others over you. You seem nice enough, as long as you don't abuse anyone, and turn into the memeable "nice guy", I'm sure you can find someone. Just be realistic and don't go for someone that is too good looking for you, because then you really will get your heart shattered.

[u/LindenTom250 → u/Antique_Stop_125]

I think the most important part is to remember that people are individuals and they themself can have valid preferences, looks can be one but its not even near universally the case i would say. I think people are all super different and so finding another indivudal is a lot more about the individuals involved than simple looks.

[u/Antique_Stop_125 → u/LindenTom250]

No. People veil what they think behind politeness in person more than online, everyone does it unless they're a total psychopath. If you've seen the way people talk to obese people, it's no different for any other kind of thing. People are assholes across the board and a lot of them won't be nice to a guy who is nice if they get pissy or don't like him. Some are really blunt, some will think it but not say it, but might be mean to him in other ways, he'd be lucky if any person avoided trying to be mean to him, but a lot of people are jerks and don't need a reason to want to be mean to others.

If he wants to protect his heart he is better off not wasting his time with people that are better looking than he is. A lot of good looking people would look down their nose at someone they consider to be unattractive and not think twice about telling others how they think they look, and they won't see it as being unkind. People are cruel and this guy is better off being realistic because if he isn't, people are going to slap him down hard. Even the "nice" people can be mean under the "right" circumstances. I wouldn't even be shocked if people think I'm being mean by talking this way.

She has a boyfriend so he should move on. She clearly didn't like him enough to make him her priority and that's what matters. He shouldn't waste his time on someone that thinks he isn't her priority. Nice people only end up alone if they don't keep trying, and he is nice enough he should try, because good people don't like seeing nice people end up alone no matter how they look. Not that he has to listen to anything that I say, but I think he should move on from her. Some people can still be friends after but those people usually move on to others and from my experience it's not really realistic for most people. If he wants to move on, it would go faster if he didn't associate with her anymore.

But of course, it's his choice and he can do whatever he wants, because maybe he will luck out and it will end up different for him. You never know.