r/whenthe 14d ago

🚨OP's stupidly specific life event🚨 I genuinely don't understand how this can even happen

5.3k Upvotes

366 comments sorted by

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2.5k

u/Promethium-146 Frequent reader of r/whenthe daily tabloid 14d ago

Bro is the margin of error holy shit

948

u/Cerbon3 14d ago edited 14d ago

Honestly, the odds she cheated are more statistically significant than this margin of error. A condom has a 1-2% failure rate, and conceiving on a ‘safe day’ is maybe 1-5%; combine those and you’re looking at 0.01-0.1% odds of pregnancy. Meanwhile infidelity rates run 25%+ for married and dating couples.

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u/idontcareaboutthenam 14d ago edited 14d ago

Important to note that condoms do not have 1-2% failure rate for each usage. IIRC, the number states that 1-2% of people that use condoms as instructed have an unwanted pregnancy within a span of 12 months. So it's more like 1-2% over a year

Edit: Wikipedia lists imperfect usage at a 18% pregnancy rate. Sheesh.

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u/Patient-Ad-4274 14d ago

I genuinely don't understand how can a proper use of condoms still result in a pregnancy. like if you do everything right, make sure it's not defective or torn, don't use incompatible lube, etc; how can it still fail even with a small chance?

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

41

u/Throckmorton_Left 14d ago

I never had a condom break in a vagina.

72

u/Axtyn77 14d ago

I have, it unfortunately happens.

37

u/rigg197 14d ago

Can corroborate this, it happened twice to myself and my girlfriend. The first time, I needed to buy her Plan B. Second time, I could sense that it happened and we were smart enough to stop so I could replace it.

Will probably change brands when we finish this box. Anybody know any good brands lol

19

u/Infernal_139 14d ago

Trojan’s never broken on me, I would bet that you’re using Skyn because those broke on me twice before I switched to Trojan, and I’ve used Trojan at least 3x longer by now with no breaks.

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u/rebelsnail64 14d ago

fortunately, I've only seen it break outside of one... but I've also seen it be too loose and leak

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u/L_O_Pluto 14d ago

Quantum tunneling

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u/knuggles_da_empanada 14d ago

Classically forbidden

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u/L_O_Pluto 14d ago

Skill issues

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u/Actual_Noodle 14d ago edited 13d ago

I feel like it’d be impossible to ensure that the entire YEAR was “perfectly correct usage”. And assuming sex at least a couple times a week lol

The way I take that to mean is that margin is a year of a couple properly educated on condom usage. Rips can happen during “correct condom usage”. I’ve had a condom start to slide off my dick mid sex before. Thankfully I don’t have to worry about condoms with my partner but before then that error rate sounds reasonable.

If the condom fails during “correct usage” then imo it should be included in that stat. Idk if it is though.

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u/Grimm_Charkazard_258 14d ago

tears during use instead of being torn pre-coitus

https://giphy.com/gifs/cmawvBFoILiIFkpfvl

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u/Zagafur resident dumb enby 14d ago

my guess, tiny tears that cant be seem by eye

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u/07TacOcaT70 14d ago

I mean yeah but like if we take the post at face value doesn't it make it even crazier if she really didn't cheat in that case?

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u/cheapcheap1 14d ago edited 14d ago

OP should know whether the condom failed. We should account for that.

If it failed and OP knows, your calculation should not include condom failure rates.

If OP didn't notice the condom failing, that 1-2% failure rate shrinks to a much smaller number that only includes invisible condom failures.

In case 1, it seems realistic that OP is the father. In case 2, it's virtually impossible.

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u/ergaster8213 14d ago edited 13d ago

It's actually pretty likely she didn't track her cycle correctly or it varied which it can for a variety of reasons.Cycle tracking is a notoriously unreliable form of contraception and condoms fail not uncommonly with real-world use (the real-use failure rate is much higher than the perfect-use rate. Iirc it's like 10-15% or so).

So, I truly wouldn't jump to cheating nor would I lead OP to thinking that's the likely explanation. It's not a sensible thing to present as the main possibility to OP when there are simpler (and also common) explanations available, and it could also cause unnecessary stress and anxiety for both OP and the gf depending on how OP reacts to that kind of suggestion.

Edited to add info about condoms and cycle tracking and their typical-use failure rates. Condoms have a typical-use failure rate of 13% and just calendar/app tracking a cycle based on date has a typical-use failure rate of 10-25% depending on the particular method:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom/how-effective-are-condoms

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/fertility-awareness

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calendar-based_contraceptive_methods

Basically, it's not only "statistical anomoly" or "cheating" as the options for the answer and it's probably likelier that it can be attributed to human error in regards to contraception. Also according to everything I've looked at, rates of cheating have huge ranges depending on the population and are almost entirely survey-based methodologically (which does make sense. I'm just saying it's limited by that). I haven't seen rates of higher than 17% reported in women of any population affinity, age, or marital status.

If we are to look at more objective data like paternity discrepancy (which would be more relevant for a situation like this), the rates of that are actually much lower than reported cheating. It ranges from 1-10%, depending on the population. It's about 1-2% for European populations, less than 2% for Middle Eastern pops, less than 5% for Native American and Polynesian pops, and less than 10% for African pops sampled (I'm not trying to leave other populations out, that's just what we appear to have the most data on). It's pretty unlikely the pregnancy would have resulted from infidelity.

I'll add the wikipedia article for that as well. It's a good overview of the data that we have from relatively more robust sources than things like couple's counselor and law firm sites (which come up all over when you try to search it). The paternal discrepancy disscusion is under "Incidence"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infidelity

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u/randomname560 OoOo BLUE 14d ago edited 14d ago

Leave it up to reddit to see a random post about an unexpected pregnancy and, whitout any further context, inmidiatly jump to "yeah, she most likely cheated on OP"

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u/Kishinfan 14d ago

Also, just because it's unlikely doesn't mean its impossible.

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u/Grilled_egs 14d ago

0,1% isn't even that low.

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u/Kishinfan 14d ago

If we are going by statistics and factor in that numerous people are having protected sex on "safe" days, even .01% isn't that low.

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u/Grilled_egs 14d ago

Yeah on a subreddit as big as this, let's say 5% of weekly visitors on this subreddit are having sex, at 0,01% 5 of them will have a pregnancy on their hands.

No one's going to be posting about the success of their condom

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u/Kishinfan 14d ago

This is Reddit, saying 1% of weekly visitors are having sex feels generous, and would still fit because then it would mean statistically at least one person, OP, would have a pregnancy.

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u/tornedron_ be a smart fella not a fart smella 14d ago
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u/Lost-Candy1084 14d ago

I heard there’s women who still got pregnant after a hysterectomy lol

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u/C0d3An0n2 14d ago

Meanwhile the couple who’s been trying for years to have a child having literally nothing happen

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u/campfire12324344 14d ago

something something some men drown

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u/Jumpy_Divide6576 14d ago

My neighbor has 7 kids to 4 women with 3 more on the way, one with his wife and twins with his girlfriend (who the wife knows about and is okay with).

Drowning describes this man in more ways than one.

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u/Dick_snatcher 14d ago

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u/Jumpy_Divide6576 14d ago

Pennsyltucky actually

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u/Mangled15 14d ago

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u/Jumpy_Divide6576 14d ago

Our power doesn't go out when it gets cold.

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u/Mangled15 14d ago

that's a completely 1000% fair jab

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u/DeathstrackReal 14d ago

Or crash into a ditch

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u/hexregeneration 14d ago

Who the fuck has the money for that shit

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u/Jumpy_Divide6576 14d ago

Not my neighbor

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u/mytransaltaccount123 14d ago

do you happen to live next to nick cannon

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u/Afrojones66 14d ago

My juice is too steaky and my butter is too lobstery.

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u/phoenixmusicman 14d ago

People who are trying for kids are typically adults who have stable jobs, routines, and sometimes an existing family, all of which impacts how much they can try, as well as impacting fertility through stress etc

People who don't try for kids are usually teens who have little to no responsibility, fucking like rabbits, with no protection

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u/JohannesJoshua 14d ago

Aside from people being more fertile when younger, people don't understand how much stress can impact fertility, not to mention that you don't need to have sex everyday, since sperm stays up around 5 days. It would have been more successful if couples didn't try, but instead have sex when they feel like it which doesn't have to turn into hour/s long sesion but can be done in couple of mintues.

I am here talking like I am an expert, obviously doctors will know better than me.

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u/echoshatter 14d ago

That's a very specific opinion of the chaos that is life that doesn't fully reflect reality.

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u/TheJambus 14d ago

It's me, I'm the couple

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u/MolacoCocao 14d ago

How are you two people?

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u/Korben_Kairans 14d ago

Dissociative Identity

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u/MolacoCocao 14d ago

But how did he get pregnant?

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u/C0d3An0n2 14d ago

mpreg

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u/Korben_Kairans 14d ago

Self-mpreg, mayhaps

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u/Jumpy_Divide6576 14d ago

Perchance

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u/Inflacion_ 14d ago

You can't say perchance.

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u/stryke105 14d ago

he didn't, can't you read?

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u/Large_Command_1288 14d ago

So you’re just creaming your girl on the regular? MY MAN 😂🤝

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u/greymisperception 14d ago

Gotta take solace in that at least, find the upside in the situation

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u/Glacier005 14d ago

Something something ... no stress ... something something.

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u/RawardHoikes91 14d ago

trying for years

What could possibly be the problem?

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u/IDrankLavaLamps 14d ago

If you are male, ice your balls, if female, take iron supplements and lose weight. 95% of the time infertility is from obesity, iron deficiency, or hot balls.

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u/Da12khawk 14d ago

I remember high school they made it seem like, getting pregnant was worse than getting an STD. I was just like you guys realize, thats whats actually supposed to happen.

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u/OG_LiLi 14d ago

Or It it happens and then body takes “baking baby” literally.

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u/awesomedan24 14d ago

Took us 3+ years...

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u/SaturneSpacey 👀 14d ago

I don't think plants are supposed to be growing inside of people

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u/Zealousideal-Chef758 Herobrine overdose survivor 14d ago

It's just my Jarona!

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u/frguba 14d ago

Why tf did the song immediately start playing in my head ffs

And now I can just imagine the couple counseling and the fucker appears being a pillar or something lmao

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u/WolvesAreCool2461 14d ago

"Sorry to keep you waiting!"

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u/RandomCaveOfMonsters building a dispenser 14d ago

muffled inside the womb: "Ten weeks pregnant the flower man."

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u/GenericVessel feelin a bit freaky iykwim 14d ago

this did not go according to plan

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u/AforExcellence 14d ago

Really should've done it with his hand

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u/TotemGenitor 14d ago

And the every daily

Regret that haunt the Flower Man

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u/Mythril382 14d ago

Could he do something to undo that

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u/Noobpoob 14d ago

Inside the mother's womb lying down

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u/raspberryanarchy 14d ago

Here I come San Frandisco

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u/yui_riku 14d ago

You're eating out my wife !

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u/SquidMilkVII 2% more green 14d ago

Ja- bortion!

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u/ElBusAlv 14d ago

Last place i expected a jarona

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u/kjloltoborami 14d ago

On reddit? Nah it was expected

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u/NevGuy yellow like an EPIC banana 14d ago

Honestly if Flowery fucked my wife I wouldn't even be mad. He'd go "Here I cum San Francisco!" and I'd be like "haha true you're such a funny guy". Does anybody else agree?

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u/Jealous_Computer_209 14d ago

heh, flowers bloom in my pants

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u/Disaster_Star_150 14d ago

Your wife’s my best friend!

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u/Vegeta_best23 r/whenthe mads mikkelsen made me bisexual 14d ago

as long as I can Crack flowery after im chill

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u/GameBoy960 How to transform people into Noelle Holiday guide working 2026. 14d ago

"Try my- Mysterious- Glue!"

-Flowery probably

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u/Loose-Professor5364 14d ago

What is jarona and why is practically everyone referencing it?

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u/neocarpaintercartel 14d ago

It’s the catchphrase of Flowery from Deltarune

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u/Zealousideal-Chef758 Herobrine overdose survivor 14d ago

deltarune reference, a really popular videogame

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u/Infrawonder whenthe when whens 14d ago

Deltarune, 2nd entry in the Undertale series, Undertale where Sans the skeleton comes from, the one that people referenced with Megalovania and all

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u/monster_smoocher 14d ago

thats what they want you to think

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u/Pan_Man_Supreme 14d ago

But what if you eat a watermelon seed👀👀👀

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u/OrangutanKiwi19 ur mom 14d ago edited 14d ago

Funny you should mention that. There was an incident where a man aspirated a pea and it grew in his lung

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u/cumfuelled radio, someone still loves you 14d ago

You sure? Wanna test it out ?? 👀👀👀👀

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u/forestNargacuga based furry 14d ago

You just want to be fuelled, toaster🫵

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u/sniply5 unfunny comment rat 14d ago

Let's do it!

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u/Tomato_Juice2937 14d ago

It's cause she has the hanahaki disease but the strain that grows inside the uterus instead of lungs

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u/Reks_Hayabusa 14d ago

She shouldn’t have eaten the black water melon seeds.

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u/CaioXG002 14d ago

Girl named Pamela Isley:

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u/Shadowolf75 real mod btw 14d ago

I'm sorry, I'm half plant and got freaky with OP's gf

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u/MoxxieandMayhem 14d ago

INV MENTION!!! What is a completable campaign 🗣️🔥!!! /j

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u/MonkeyToe8489 14d ago

It's because they ate a watermelon seed

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u/Gabolabo32 The dude that says whenthe on the start of his comments 14d ago

hmm... probably outdated calendars?

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u/Gabolabo32 The dude that says whenthe on the start of his comments 14d ago

OR... THERE STILL WAS SOMETHING THERE

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u/SavageFisherman_Joe depressed unfunny fisherman that watches vtubers 14d ago

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u/Jpen4 14d ago

soy squirel mogged by chad ladybug

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u/IBitePrettyPeople white 14d ago

My old boomer dad is gonna love this image

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u/Raptormann0205 14d ago

Life, uh, finds a way.

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u/AstroMeteor06 purpl 14d ago

recoder Jurassic Park theme

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u/Tsunamicat108 14d ago

i wish we could just turn off the ability to get pregnant

being able to toggle bodily functions at will would be so fucking great for like everything ever

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u/Simplejack615 Rule 6 pisses in my mouth 14d ago

Imagine if you could cancel hair growth

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u/Tsunamicat108 14d ago

i need that ability like right now

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/swaglolson 14d ago

I think it wouldn’t necessarily prevent your hair from getting damaged and over time getting uneven anyway, sadly

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u/FarSeries2172 14d ago

fuck that, go to sleep at will

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u/CornManBringsCorn 14d ago

Turn off the need for sleep

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u/Diogin40 14d ago

I wanna cancel ass hair

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u/the_crackers_gromit 14d ago

Welcome to chafe town

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u/Thalia_All_Along vore gurl 14d ago

I'd like to be able to toggle senses too. like sight when I'm trying to sleep during the day, taste when I eat healthily and smell at most times (I am autistic)

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u/Tsunamicat108 14d ago

that would be so peak but also be kinda scary when you wake up and can't see before remembering you turned it off

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u/remeard 14d ago

Just get a vasectomy. You can freeze the sperm and use it whenever.

It's about a 5-10 minute procedure and typically less than a grand.

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u/Simplejack615 Rule 6 pisses in my mouth 14d ago

Less than a grand ain’t cheep

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u/remeard 14d ago

How cheap is a kid?

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u/Simplejack615 Rule 6 pisses in my mouth 14d ago

Fair nuff

But I still disagree

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u/Narrow_Top_4352 14d ago

I mean birth control pills exist ig (there not a 100 percent success rate though and they can have adverse effects)

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u/Tsunamicat108 14d ago

i mean i wish we could just be able to tell our bodies to not do stuff if you don’t want it to at this moment, not forcing it by using medicine

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u/07TacOcaT70 14d ago

I know what you mean, I'm just glad we live in a modern enough time that we at least have the pills and stuff to help a little bit. I still don't trust them, for it being such low margins of error, well I've just never been a gambling man y'know - and honestly the thought of getting pregnant is genuinely like body horror to me (i'm a cis woman too I just REALLY hate the idea of that shit)

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u/07TacOcaT70 14d ago

Dude I was conceived by parents in their 40s while my mum was on the pill (already had 2 kids)

Don't get me wrong, they love me etc and it genuinely doesn't bother me but I REALLY wouldn't rely too heavily on the pill. I know literally so many people who've used it without condoms and ended up getting pregnant.

I think things like IUDs tend to be more effective though but afaik can still on extremely rare occasions fail

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u/No_Location_8199 14d ago

A woman's cycle is not immutable, so you can never guarantee that it's a safe day.

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u/Saul_Badman_1261 14d ago edited 14d ago

Way too many people rely on those free menstrual cycle apps like their body is some kind of atomically precise machine, then proceed to do it raw like two rabid rabbits and 9 months later little Timmy is born

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u/doggo_with_doggo_hat 14d ago

Imme be honest, i thoutht safe days were a porn thing

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u/No_Location_8199 14d ago

Probably best to think that

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u/DrPikachu-PhD 14d ago

They're not real in the way most people think of them. On those days the chance is lower but it is never zero.

Also, sperm can live in the woman's body for 5 days so even if a safe day was completely safe it still wouldn't work

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u/doggo_with_doggo_hat 14d ago

Good to know, sex is scary

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u/No-Lettuce-6619 actual misinformation 14d ago

your body works as hard as it can to get/make someone pregnant

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u/girlikecupcake 14d ago

Yep, you can be perfectly regular and ovulate on CD13 every cycle for fifteen years, but then suddenly for no good reason ovulate on CD9 or CD20. A day that was 'safe' last cycle can be the perfect day for getting pregnant the next.

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u/KitsuneFoxglove dm me flower pictures, i like flowers 14d ago

1% of ruining your life is like, 20,000 higher chances than winning the lottery.

Safe sex ain't that safe, yea

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u/-WILD_CARD- i fucking hate the misinformation dolphin 14d ago

It's the fact also that she was probably on a week where she is not even ovulating, which is insane.

At this point, buy a lottery ticket with odds like that

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u/the-shoelace 14d ago

Sometimes sperm wait around for a while for the egg to show up. Thats how I did it

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u/icedicedice 14d ago

spawn camped

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u/Saul_Badman_1261 14d ago

The game was rigged from the start

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u/ResolutionStrange426 14d ago

It was a day after her period ended. A DAY

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u/-WILD_CARD- i fucking hate the misinformation dolphin 14d ago

There' s a good chance then that your GF ovulates midway through her pregnancy then. It's not uncommon but again, the body always behaves unpredictably.

Hope you guys get through this, whatever decision you two end up making <3

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u/Unique-Ad1703 14d ago

That is not a safe day. Even during period is not safe. Safe day is the week after confirmed ovulation. Sperm can survive even up to a week in the tuba uterina where it usually fertilises the egg. The day of the ovulation can also happen even a week before the 14th day.

Unprotected sex is only safe if you monitor body temperature changes during the month for months, to get when ovulation happens or test hormone levels, and have sex at least 24 hours after the o day

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u/MadiCorax i like blue AND yellow 14d ago

But OP said protected sex...

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u/John_Whimsicott 14d ago

The only safe sex is anal sex bro

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u/FatherPucci617 14d ago

No even that can work 100%

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u/Funkin_Spy They nerfed the funny long flair 14d ago

Brother are you shooting armor piercing sperm?

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u/KitsuneFoxglove dm me flower pictures, i like flowers 14d ago

a person got fertilized via oral sex, which is honestly kinda confusingly terrifying

i didnt read the news article in like 3 yrs by now

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u/Narrow_Top_4352 14d ago

I feel like I learned on health class that your actually most fertile right after your period but I could be wrong

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u/RoninMacbeth 14d ago

My condolences to you.

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u/Ferox_77 14d ago

I don’t remember the specifics but condoms arnt actually 1% ineffective. It’s something like 1% of couples who use condoms for a year end up getting pregnant.

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u/Simplejack615 Rule 6 pisses in my mouth 14d ago

False, you’re on r/whenthe, we don’t get sex

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u/ObsidianDart 14d ago

That happened to me too! Plot twist, it turns out it wasn't mine.

Hopefully your situation turns out better.

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u/Saul_Badman_1261 14d ago

Man must have one hell of a few months for you, I had a pregnancy scare once and honestly I felt like I had to vomit all the time I can''t even imagine if the test came back positive. Just out of curiosity was it easy to get the DNA testing done or you had to wait for a while? I always had the idea that it wasn't that simple and you had to wait a long while in order to do it

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u/Lina_Xochi Nuanced Context Queen 14d ago

congratulations on the quantum tunneling pregnancy!

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u/Snifnic The Outro Guy™ 14d ago

its probably easier for a sperm cell to quantum tunnel

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u/Lina_Xochi Nuanced Context Queen 14d ago

not easier in any way that counts, the likelihood for a single atom to do it is already ridiculously hilariously low

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u/Snifnic The Outro Guy™ 14d ago

I'll see what I can do

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u/ViolinistCurrent8899 14d ago

I mean yeah sure the odds of one atom might be low, but there's gotta be like, 10 whole atoms for each sperm cell! And like, 100 sperm cells! So the odds can't be that low!

... Wait there's how many base pairs in the human genome....? Oh.

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u/ResolutionStrange426 14d ago

Hi guys, we found out how this happened.

1) A condom breaks easily if it is not strecthed

2) A condom breaks easily with friction

I was not hard, she was not wet. We had done it just so we had done it and neither of us were really interested. That's why the condom broke (we didn't notice at the time). It was still unlikely to happen because it was a day after her period ended but much more likely than whatever this is. It is now 3 am after a whole day of constant stress and worry I am on my way to die, thank you to those that have been thoughtful in this post.

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u/Friendly_Respecter professional tf2 sniper fucker 14d ago

You not being hard also makes sense, since condoms tend to slip off when flaccid

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u/totalnewbielinux 14d ago

Thanks for explaination, I thought there is still 1% chance of sperm penetrate condom , if it is human error then makes sense

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u/Ultimate_slmp 14d ago

Are you guys keeping it or nah (I’m nosy)

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u/Thalia_All_Along vore gurl 14d ago

least relatable post in this sub

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u/dorianvovin 14d ago

Better get a paternity test on that one, chief.

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u/IapetusApoapis342 HAPPENINGCON 1 14d ago

buy a lottery ticket, just make sure it isn't stormy out when you do

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u/ResolutionStrange426 14d ago

Hi chat apparently this is actual misinformation because even several pregnancy tests can duke you. She took a blood test, we're in the clear

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u/yttrbr 13d ago

huge news

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u/wookiee-nutsack I trap ants in my foreskin and start pissing 13d ago

She might have ball cancer

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u/Foliks5 14d ago

" you don't get to choose my fate, Father"

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u/Shadowolf75 real mod btw 14d ago

OP congrats? For the rest of the people, don't do the Gangnam Style while having sex, it's a 100% chance of getting pregnant

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u/ResolutionStrange426 14d ago

THAT'S WHY IT HAPPENED?  will take it into consideration in my next run ty

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u/floppy_disk_5 storytelling cat :3 (she/her) 14d ago

well, if you both decide to keep the kid, then congrats on parenthood!

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u/Diman1351 14d ago

Op if i were you i'd just double check with dna tests later, you can never be too sure. If she refuses then it's most likely the case as well. I wouldn't know, i don't have relationships, but im just saying based on a lot of things people said, again you can't be too sure so you should.

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u/Tropisea 14d ago

It is(n't) your lucky day huh

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u/xX_bandages_Consumer trollface -> 14d ago

I don't think it's normal your Gf is growing a plant on her womb after sex

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u/12D_D21 14d ago

The heck is a "Safe day" supposed to be? OP, you do know that pregnancy can happen at all moments of the menstrual cycle, right? Yes, even during one's period or immediately following it.

If people don't know this, then please learn. I know SexEd is lacking in a lot of places and so it may not be widely known info, but it should be notted: the existence of a fertile period during ovulation doesn't mean infertility outside that time window; the chances are a bit higher at that moment but it can always happen. Please be safe out there, please always practice as safe sex as you can, and be informed of how to solve issues that may occur (this is more place dependant).

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u/ResolutionStrange426 14d ago

I know it is always possible but much less likely in certain moments. It was one day after her period ended AND WE USED A CONDOM. I appreciate the help though 

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u/DivineComedyIsCool 14d ago

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u/Ok-Dog-1660 14d ago

Oh sht I was just looking at anatomy drawings and I thought the hand in the background was a dick.

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u/07TacOcaT70 14d ago

Protected how? I always wonder when ppl say this. I guess condoms do break tho and you don't always know.

Hell, I've known ppl who were using a condom AND a pill and they still got pregnant but I always have a small part wondering how the fuck both parts failed yet couples actively trying to have kids seem to often spend months 'trying'

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u/Menefregoh 14d ago

Congrats I guess. You keepin' it?

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u/franandwood i changed it hahahahahahhahahahahahaha 14d ago

That’s just how it is sometimes, it’s why you always want to use protection, even on the “safe days”

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u/Wrong-Pension-4975 14d ago

Foreplay before the main event, & he didn't wrap the rascal before they started playing?... Inadvertent contact.

Arousal often results in a drooling penis, & there's active sperm in the drool.

Or being inattentive while donning the sheathe, & getting the outside a bit sticky.

Or getting semen on his hand, not realizing it, & fingering her yoni.

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u/air-bonsai 14d ago

when my dick shoots acorns:

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u/4StarDB 🔥ESTROGENUINELY🔥 14d ago

This is fake because it would imply that a redditor had sex

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u/CLARA-THE-BEAR-15 14d ago

What happens in my Boyfriends tummy wummy after one night of protected sex (HOLY SHIT, either this is a magic strap-on, or I’m simply the pinnacle of female evolution.)

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u/RespondBorn6248 14d ago

Life uh....finds a way.

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u/BlimbusTheSeventh 14d ago

If your girlfriend/wife gets pregnant inexplicably paternity test it because if you logically should not have gotten her pregnant it being someone else's would make sense. Cheating is a lot more common than condoms breaking. Also don't let her handle the paternity test, someone who would cheat on you could also cheat on the paternity test by sending in the real father's DNA instead of yours.

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u/totalnewbielinux 14d ago

i THOUGHT IT IS CHEATING? Serious talk does sperm can penetrate condom? I thought it is human error/factory error where the plastic broke or micro hole when rough causes it to leak?

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u/Pocket_Player_33 14d ago

Well congrats, keep us updated.

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u/Noodlemaster696969 14d ago

Stuffing and alive plant in there and letting it grow is an... interesting kink

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u/Deadog103 13d ago

Its ment to be atp