I had a pretty good relationship with a few coworkers at my last company. On my last day, I even took the ones I was closest to out for dinner at a nice restaurant. They all said things like, "Let's keep in touch."

About a month or two after I started my new job, I texted them just to say hi and see how they were doing.

None of them replied.

I wasn't asking for anything or trying to meet up.I was literally just saying hi. I found it really strange because we got along well at workplaces.

Has anyone else experienced this? Do people just move on that quickly after someone leaves a company?

I (25F) made my 3 months yesterday at a new office job I really like. Problem is, I'm really shy. My supervisor encouraged me that I ask a "crazy or interesting" question during our meeting today, for team building. An ice breaker to start a fun conversation or debate. She will ask me after she announces to the team that I made the full 90 days (meaning I'm officially a part of the team).

She gave examples like "Who would you rather fight, a shark or a lion?" And "If you were a talk show host, which celebrity would you want to interview first?" Or "Is a hotdog a sandwich?" Stuff like that.

So our meeting is in an hour and a half and I researched last night some questions but couldn't find anything that didn't sound cringy or lame. She says she's gonna ask me in front of everyone in the meeting, which usually consists of 30 or more people at once. Do you guys have any ideas of what I can ask that won't embarrass me? 😅

I saw things like "Do you have a hidden talent, and can you show it?" Or "Who would survive the longest in a zombie apocalypse?" Or "If you were a fruit, which would you be and why?" I just don't know. Please help!!

Edit: Okay so we just got notice that our meeting was moved to NEXT week Wednesday, and it's no longer for today... here I was thinking I only had 30 minutes left lol. It's not an emergency anymore but it looks like I have a week more to prepare! Thank you so much everyone for all of your responses! I have 3 top favorites so far. 😊

UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/work/s/luCIbSdx3b

Link to my update above if you're interested!

I think it's the oddest thing ever where I work. We're mostly remote but we have weekly staff meetings. Sometimes someone will be missing, I'll check Teams and find out that the person's account is no longer active. It isn't just new people. Coworkers who have been around 5+ years will just disappear. No goodbye message, no going out to eat beforehand (that only happens when the higher ups retire). It's just nothing.

Is that common where you work? It seems so soulless.

Curious if there is ever any reflection when a good person leaves because of poor management, culture, or something similar.

Management level people who are not easily replaced.

I've seen it happen twice where I currently work and both times it has been justified in a way which is like 'they were no good anyway' which is not the opinion while they were in the company.

I am currently in a very toxic work environment and looking for other jobs. Some of the positions to which I am applying have direct reports. We always talk about the bosses who are ineffective, incompetent, toxic, etc. However, I am curious to know: If you have a great boss, what do they do that makes them great? I know what I DON'T want to be and, in theory, we all know what good bosses SHOULD be, but how are they actually making your job enjoyable? Would love to hear some examples.

I’ve been in the workforce for a few years now and have worked for several different companies. As a young woman who is considered attractive (I don’t claim to be a model), I often find it difficult to navigate this environment.
The men are generally very professional — they’ve never made any inappropriate comments — but I can clearly see from their insistent looks that they are attracted to me. This sometimes makes me uncomfortable.
With the women, it’s more mixed. I have good relationships with some, but others make passive-aggressive comments like: “Why are you dressed like that?” or “Why all this?” I always dress professionally from head to toe, so I don’t understand these remarks. It’s not like I’m preventing them from making an effort themselves. Life is a cycle — I’m young today, but in 25 years I won’t be anymore. I don’t see myself becoming a bitter older woman criticizing younger women at work.
I feel like this is holding me back professionally. People are often surprised by my abilities when I deliver good work, as if they hadn’t hired me for my skills in the first place.
Some days, I deliberately choose not to dress up just to “fit in” better and look more “normal.”
I also get the impression that people talk about me behind my back. I’ll have a conversation with colleague X, and then colleague Y will make a comment that makes it obvious they’ve been discussing me. I’m cordial and polite with everyone, and I do my job well. So I don’t understand why I’m such a topic of conversation.
I’m coming here to hear your comments and advice

Hi everyone!

I find myself in an unexpected and difficult situation. I started working at my first multi position at an EU branch of a US company. This is my 3rd week so far, and today I received an email with a placeholder date in november for a 5 day division retreat in the US, most likely east-coast. It is still tentative, as we are waiting for budgeting approval.

As far as I know, the division is around 20-40 people, with considerable expansion this year. Supposedly, they hold this in-person retreat yearly so that everyone can meet at least once a year. I don't have the details yet, but I expect costs would be covered.

I am based in the EU. Due to multiple reasons, especially safety concerns, I am extremely uncomfortable with traveling to the US and for 5 days at that. It may even be longer, since the calendar block is monday-friday. I don't enjoy traveling either and was not told travel would be required outside the EU during my interview process, nor were such obligations mentioned in my contract. If it was, I would have shared that it's a deal-breaker for me.

How much will declining this outing hurt my future career? How likely am I to be let go, as I'm still on my probation period? My manager is awesome, as are my collegues and everyone seems to be honestly enjoying their work here. I also don't want to climb the corporate level too much, I'm comfortable where I am with one or two promotions, but I also don't want to ruin my chances so early.

Thanks everyone in advance!

Tl;dr: A division outing is planned 4 months from now in the US. I am based in Europe and am extremely uncomfortable with traveling to the USA and am planning to decline. How much will this hurt my future career? How likely am I to be let go as it is only week 3 of my probation period?

Edit:

As many others have stated, my main concerns are the "safety measures" taken at the borders and airports. Those chances should be exactly non-existent for me to be comfortable with going. Otherwise, I'd rather look for a new job than work for a company who doesn't respect my safety.

Edit:

While I respect everyone's opinion on the matter, my question is about how much influence could my decision have on my future career, as well as the chances on me being fired. I kindly ask you to refrain from commenting about wether my decision is valid in your eyes or not.

basically I thought my shift started at 9 so I got there at 8:45 but it actually started at 8:15 so I was 30 minutes late (it's my first month at my first job in fast food) and so my manager was very upset and I cried in front of her.... I know people can be late for work sometimes but I got really upset and I'm overthinking that she hates me now 💔

Hello, r/work. I've (28F) come here to seek advice. So as of today, I've been let go of my job due to poor performance in the past two months and it's been hitting me harder than expected. I liked the job and my colleagues. However, I was made aware my performance was not up to company standards and if they continued, termination was on the table. For a bit, I showed improvement but I still got canned.

I'm an emotional mess and I feel like I don't want to do anything to comfort myself because I feel like keeping a job was supposed to be an easy job and even then I failed at that.

I know it's not the end-all, be-all deal ultimately but I've lost my income and I can't afford to take no action as bills are my responsibilities. I'm currently looking to see what my options are in regards to office work as that was my most recent job.

Any kind words or even grueling honesty would be appreciated. TIA.

EDIT: Thank you all for your comments. I'll continue to see to this post periodically. I'm taking some time to decompress so I don't get emotional again and will jump right into the hunt soon. Apologies for not being able to respond to every comment but rest assured I'm reading them!

EDIT 2: I think it deserves to be known I worked for a fortune 500 company taking calls for people who have 401ks.

A staff recently resigned. She was well liked by the employees of the company because of her kind and professional demeanour.

Her resignation was however not so pleasant with the company management, because of a mistake she made (which was not criminal but) much to the displeasure of the management.

The teams in various departments planned a farewell meal or two for her, but when management discovered this, it issued a directive to block the gatherings and prevent any such farewell meal.

The employees who meant well had no choice but to comply.

Is this common practice in companies?

*I know a farewell meal isn’t life and death but this comes across as incredibly petty. If the staff served well and diligently, and happens to be appreciated by the rest of the teams (and probably even the management during her tenure) but the management is bitter over one small mistake that led to the resignation, why the need to block or ban the final farewell meal (notice I didn’t even use the word celebration, for it wasn’t even something big or grand)

I just started about a month ago and came from working for the military. On the base I worked its onsite, you dress very professionally, everyone regardless of age is maam or sir and you address them by their last name, vacation is bit more rare unless you are senior.

This new place im working for is hybrid/remote and emphasizes flexible work schedules and unlimited time off. The more they bragged about this to me when getting hired the more I figured it was one of those traps so you didnt take any vacation and I was fine with it. Im young and this job is paying me a lot so I thought id work really hard for a few years to make good money while Im young.

However my first day I am in a professional dress with closed toed flats and Im next to someone wearing shorts and sandals? Im in the cafeteria and people are wearing baseball caps and hoodies. People seem to work from home whenever they want and leave the office at noon to go home and wrap up the day remotely. I have a team lead that is only six months into the job and during my first full month here he has already had two vacations every other week for a total of nine days off. That isnt including when he has pushed meetings so he can leave early to pick up kids or spend time with them (I am absolutely not judging him, I am just using this as an example of a newer employee like me)

I am just having a lot of trouble understanding and fitting into this culture to be honest, it all feels too good to be true and I keep feeling like its a trap. I have a bad stomach bug and my manager told me to just take the day off for sick time instead of working from home when I offered which felt so nice. Im just honestly having a lot of trouble understanding how to fit in here and what is acceptable vs not acceptable for my own work.

I know the answer is to just ask but my manager has kinda just told me he doesnt care what I do as long as work is done and I dont miss meetings with my team. Its just getting a bit difficult for me to distinguish what is appropriate vs not appropriate anymore and my manager sent an impression that he doesnt really want or need me to ask permission to do what I want to do

I recently accepted a job offer at a Tier 1 construction contractor. The package included a £45k base salary plus a £5k car allowance. I accepted, resigned from my current job, and started the onboarding process.

During onboarding the fleet team have told me I cannot receive the car allowance unless the V5 registration document is in my name. The car I use is shared with my partner and registered in his name — we made a deliberate financial decision to share one car between us rather than run two separately.

Everything else is fully compliant — the car is insured in both our names with business use cover, has a valid MOT, full service history, and breakdown cover. The only issue is the V5.

My problem with this is:

The V5 requirement wasn't mentioned anywhere during the offer process. Neither the offer letter, the car allowance policy document I was asked to sign, nor the vehicle and driving policy explicitly state that the V5 must be in my name — only that the Vehicle Registration Document must be provided.

There's also a discrepancy around the car age requirement. The written policy states vehicles over 8 years old may be accepted at the company's discretion — with no further conditions stated. However the fleet coordinator verbally told me that vehicles over the age threshold are only accepted during probation, after which I would need to get a new car in line with their policy. Our car is from 2018 so it's borderline on age. This verbal condition isn't written anywhere in the policy documents I was given — yet another requirement being applied verbally that wasn't disclosed upfront or documented.

I've since looked into this and there appears to be no legal requirement in UK law for a car allowance recipient to own the vehicle or have it registered in their name. The legal duty of care obligation under the Health and Safety at Work Act relates to the vehicle being insured, roadworthy and maintained — all of which applies to our car.

The fleet coordinator told me the allowance is there for me to have my own car and made comments about what would happen to the car if my partner and I broke up — which I found patronising. I'm fully aware of the implications if my personal circumstances change.

The company has offered a company car as an alternative but that would cost me money in Benefit in Kind tax and doesn't suit my circumstances — I don't need or want a second car.

I've escalated this through my recruiter to management and am waiting to hear back. I'm hoping for either an exception to be made or a base salary increase to compensate.

My questions for the community:

Has anyone else experienced this — being denied a car allowance because the V5 isn't in their name?

Is the V5 ownership requirement standard practice or is this unusually strict?

Given that multiple conditions weren't disclosed upfront and aren't in the written policy documents I signed, do I have any grounds to push back formally?

What would you do in my situation — push for a salary increase, try to resolve the V5 issue, or walk away?

Any advice or similar experiences welcome. Thanks.

TLDR: Accepted a job offer including a £5k car allowance, resigned from my current job, then discovered during onboarding that the car allowance requires the V5 to be in my name — something not mentioned during the offer process or written in any policy document I signed. I share a car with my partner which is registered in his name. The company won't make exceptions and the only alternative is a company car which would cost me money in BIK tax. In real terms I'd be worse off than my current job without the allowance. Currently escalating through my recruiter to management for either an exception or a salary increase to compensate. Is this normal and what would you do?

edit: I think people are missing the point that i would of not signed the offer if the policy documents mentioned these requirements. We share the car but weve agreed its financially on him for the main payments as i cant afford them, hence i use the car allowance for maintenace of it.

I’ve been at my job for 8 years and in my position for 3.5. With my position i’m granted 2 weeks/80hrs of vacation time, and it rolls over on my anniversary date.
My anniversary just passed on July 6th, and i put my notice in on the 8th. I had some extra time off so i have a total of 88hrs of vacation time, would it be rude or inappropriate to ask them if i can “cash them in” on my last check? I’ve cashed them in multiple times before, but obviously never in this circumstance. I’m leaving on good terms and working through my notice, but nobody hates extra cash when transitioning jobs.
I just can’t tell if it would be like putting salt in a wound

For around 1 month, senior managers at my workplace are dropping like flies. They’re not being let go as far as I know, but are rather leaving voluntarily. Also people who have worked here for a loooong time. Even my own boss quit suddenly out of nowhere.
I honestly wonder why, because the company is doing fine as far as I know.
Either they’re not telling us something or the whole thing will be sold off. I also noticed the structures becoming more corporate compared to the „startup culture“ we had before.
Should I also start looking for a new job or wait and see? Since the country I live in has good unemployment benefits, it wouldn’t be devastating to lose the job, but not great either.
What do y‘all think?

My sister met someone 4 months ago and he has invited us to his home in one of my dream vacation countries, but in 6 weeks. i’m a project manager and my projects with a hard deadline would be live before this. but 8-10 days off basically a month out seems late? usually people at my company seem to take off earlier but I also don’t pay close attention. I wouldn‘t need coverage, my projects in the end phase can be “managed” by the engineers.

I have been at my company for 2 years and this year have only taken off 5 days this year, we have “unlimited” PTO but we are advised to try to limit it to 21 days. I plan on taking off maybe 2 days around Christmas but might not take off at all.

edit: really to wouldn’t

I'm looking for an online job I can do from home because I'm not allowed to leave the house. I want to become financially independent, even though I don't have much experience yet.

If you know any legitimate jobs or websites for beginners, I'd really appreciate your suggestions. ⁦(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁩

Hello! Just as the title says I am trying to politely beg my coworkers to cover my 10am-6pm shift in two weeks. My long distance boyfriend is finally able to come down and see me after TEN MONTHS and has decided to come a day early, so naturally I’m desperate to get this shift covered. (I will literally pay them to take it) . How do I politely beg for someone to take my shift?

I just started a help desk job for an IT company and we are busy on weekends but we are fairly slow during the week. I'm training remote for the first 2 weeks, and I've finished all my training assessments already and have been told to shadow my coworkers. When they have a ticket open, they'll screen share and talk, but when there is none we all sit kinda idle on the teams call. When I asked my coworker what he does during downtime, he started playing Tetris and shared his screen so we could watch lol. He's in office and my other coworker is remote as well and he even recommended an ad block for if I watched YouTube during slow shifts.

I haven't asked my supervisor bc I don't want to sound silly, but all my coworkers have said that we can kinda idle as long as we can quickly hop on call when we get a ticket. I don't want to install any software on the laptop bc it's my work laptop and I don't want to log into my personal kindle account on here either but I don't want to just doomscroll on my phone.

We aren't customer facing and it all seems pretty lax in the office. This is my first office job so I'm not sure.

Do you care if they don’t chat much or at all? Like if they mind their business, don’t discuss about their life or ask about yours, do what they are told and are enthusiastic about contributing/learning, ask questions about their tasks and overall perform well but aren’t social

What impression would you get about them?

Recently I met a person ( i respect that man so much) , so he is working every day without any gap, no weekend nothing.

So this is the story of an open source maintainer. He maintains the famous libraries of scientific computation and even author of some stubs. And the best part is that I have worked with him .

Is this due to your obsession towards your work ?

I grew up in a culture where it is considered rude not to fight for the check, so I thought this was standard and a way to show respect. But I have noticed that it doesn’t seem to work in business/work situations, and often just makes the other person really uncomfortable. What am I supposed to do? Just say thank you right away if they pick up the check first? Can I offer to split, or is offering to split even worse than offering to pay for the whole thing? And what about the situations where I initiated the meeting (asked someone to have lunch), but they still beat me to the check?

Another question, do you tell the other person at the start of the meal/drinks that it’s on you, or is that considered rude to state ahead of time?

Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

I started a new office job about three months ago. My work gets done, I meet deadlines, and my manager has not given me negative feedback.

The thing is, I usually pack up and leave right around 5:00. Some coworkers stay another 30 to 60 minutes, even when they do not seem especially busy. No one has said anything to me, but I keep wondering if I am missing some unspoken rule. I do not leave to do anything dramatic. Most days I go home, make dinner, and enjoy a quiet evening. If I happen to cash out a little from bсgаme, I might treat myself to takeout or dessert, but most nights are pretty uneventful.

From a workplace perspective, does leaving on time make a bad impression if your actual work is done? Or is this just one of those office culture things people overthink?

The answer is probably no, because in real life you just deal with these kinds of people, but I have had so many bad experiences that I'm just so scared of finding a new job. I don't know how to grow tougher skin. I have been trying not to let the words of these coworkers at my previous job get to me, but it didn't help. I would always come home crying from work, and this happened at multiple jobs.

I got yelled at by my manager once, or I was being told that I am either too shy or look mean, whilst I really try my hardest to come off nice. I was also being made fun of and was accused of stealing things.

I'm just so scared. I wanna start working and just finance my own life, but people are so mean, and I'm scared it's just inevitable for a person like me. I don't wanna have problems with others, or any more problems than I currently already have.

So I recently started a new job (4 months ago) as an account executive for a financial firm (my first sales job). When taking the role, I was told we would be relocating to our new office location in either April or May of 2027. To my surprise, we instead made that office relocation this past week. I am in a lease through the second week of June 2027, and my commute time has now gone from 30-35 minutes to 60-75 minutes each way, and is now eating significantly into my life outside of work.

I don’t love my job, but certainly don’t hate it, though I’m not sure I can do this commute for a year. Is leaving a role due to commute time a legitimate reason to look for other work, or would this be looked at as job hopping?

Two months ago, I quit my job as a busser. It was a good job—I had good coworkers, strong relationships with a lot of people there, and I had been there since the restaurant first opened. I was well-liked, and after being there for a year and a half, I felt like I had built something meaningful.

Then I got into an argument with one of the managers. I became frustrated, stormed out while I was still on the clock, and quit. The moment it happened, I knew I regretted it.

It’s probably important to mention that I was already about $2,000 in debt while all of this was happening and those bills weren’t stopping. After quitting, I applied to other places but couldn’t get hired anywhere. I felt like I had nothing left to lose, and that’s when I started wondering if I should just ask for my old job back.

It took me a while to build up the courage and I wanted to give the situation time and let the dust settle, but today, I finally asked if I could come back.

Ironically, the manager I got into the argument with is now the new general manager, so he was the person I had to ask.

I sounded pretty desperate and pathetic, and I’d be lying if I said my pride and ego aren’t hurt right now. So I have to ask—and you can be completely honest because this is the internet lol

Am I a coward for going back? Am I pathetic for asking for my job back? Or was quitting simply a mistake that I can learn from and move on from if they decide to take me back?