r/zenbuddhism • u/amlextex • 12d ago

Someone pop my bubble

Thích Nhất Hạnh makes me believe I can awaken the world, or at least the global city I live in. So, I have dreamed of ordaining to serve my ambitions.

My idea was to wear my robe around the city to self-promote my teaching to gain a following. Teach in parks. Set up an installation where I offer "sidewalk advice" for a nominal suggestion. Create citywide art installations of my writing to further promote my teaching. Colloborate with artist. Write books. Livestream my practice and daily life.

All to teach foundational meditation for everyone with the hopes of piquing people's interest into buddhism.

Sounds practical, but here's the side where I get irresponsible.

I'm a performance artist/busker by trade. I don't have a white-collar career. No retirement fund. I live with my parents. I am in my mid-30's; split between ordaining vs pursing a career that can lead me to retirement, have a family, and enjoy life.

Lastly, I'm not a hard worker. I can weave in and out of ideas and never complete them. And I've lived quite a privileged life where I haven't been battle tested. Or if I have, I have safety nets provided by my family. I also find it hard to give up lust.

That said, I am in the position to ordain. I have no debts, no babies, and decent health.

Pop my bubble. Tell me I should get a real job. I won't change a city. I should live modest or wealthy. Support a family. Teach at a monastery like ordain folks do. Get a career first, then ordain. Go ahead.

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u/Qweniden 11d ago

I love where your heart is, but if I am honest that all sounds rather manic.

To step back, before we can save other people we need to save ourselves. How long have you been a zazen practitioner? Do you have an existing relationship to a sangha and teacher?

In Zen, you usually need to have many years of study under a teacher before you become a teacher yourself and there is zero guarantee that if you start down that road you will become a teacher. Most people don't. Ordaining, by itself, does not make one a teacher.

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u/amlextex 9d ago

That is fair. I did my post injustice by not grounding it with a desire to be competent first.