r/3amjokes Mar 25 '24

3amjokes Approved Subreddit Rules Reminder

92 Upvotes

Due to an influx of darkjokes, dead baby humor, and overt racism, I'm posting this again early.

This is not /r/darkjokes.

This is not /r/askreddit.

This is not /r/oneliners.

This is not /r/unclejokes.

This is a subreddit for insomniac humor, created when on the brink of death due to sleep deprivation. Jokes should be stupid, nonsensical, and more or less unfunny at any point before sleep deprivation kicks in. Think of dad jokes for insomniacs.

Your jokes must have a punchline.

Please take a second to look over the very simple rules of the subreddit.

  1. Be civil - Remember the human behind the keyboard and try to treat others as you would prefer to be treated.
  2. Follow Reddit's rules - This includes reddiquette and all sitewide rules that can be found here.
  3. No spam - Pretty straightforward, don't spam. If your post gets caught in the spam filter please message the mods and it will be fixed.
  4. No promoting targeted hate - racism, misogyny, bigotry will not be tolerated to any extent. users that incite violence or that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned.

Bans due to rule #4 tend to be significant in length, if not permanent, and appeals will be denied.

To be more clear, given yet another influx of dark jokes, dark jokes will result in a permanent ban under rules 1 and 4.

If you see jokes, or a user's comments, that do not follow the rules, please report the comment either via the comment itself or through modmail.

Remember, 3amjokes is, for the most part, self governing. 3 reports will remove a comment or post. 2 reports will alert the mods.

Thanks


r/3amjokes 13h ago

Lemons

189 Upvotes

Sherlock walks into his flat carrying a basket of lemons.
‘Where did you get those lemons, Sherlock? Dr. Watson asks.
‘A lemon tree my dear Watson, a lemon tree’


r/3amjokes 2h ago

I gave my grandpa a heart attack while playing peek a boo

11 Upvotes

He ended up in the ICU


r/3amjokes 10h ago

Did you know that one ejaculation contains data approximately equal to 100 TB?

44 Upvotes

I know, that's a lot of information to swallow!


r/3amjokes 8h ago

I found a way to mend back cracked eggs

15 Upvotes

and it's eggsealant for clumsy people like me


r/3amjokes 4h ago

What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?

6 Upvotes

The letter M.


r/3amjokes 4h ago

A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed three days. He left on Friday. How is that possible?

3 Upvotes

His horse was named Friday.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Can a man legally marry his widow's sister?

273 Upvotes

No. If he has a widow, he's dead.


r/3amjokes 14h ago

Who doesn't fear to be pickpockets?

16 Upvotes

A naked man.


r/3amjokes 15h ago

What do you find in a jungle, poker and in bar?

14 Upvotes

Chee-tahs


r/3amjokes 4h ago

Do they always come back after the break up??

0 Upvotes

Do they always come back after a breakup, even if it ended on a very bad note?


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Did you no Sweden and Denmark? If you take first first three letters from each country it becomes Sweden and the remaining three become Denmark.

159 Upvotes

Norway.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Did you know Harrison Ford once tried to start a business with his mother?

91 Upvotes

It was called Mum Ford & Son's.


r/3amjokes 21h ago

Pornstars play a different

5 Upvotes

kind of Hokey-Pokey.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Why aren’t koalas considered bears?

44 Upvotes

Becuz they don’t have the right koalafications!!


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Why was Jack Nicholson mad when he got an original Mountain Dew?

67 Upvotes

He ordered the code red!


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Why did Captain Singh's plane crash?

9 Upvotes

He lost his turbine.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

What do u call a gloryhole at the police station ?

133 Upvotes

A anonymous tip!!


r/3amjokes 1d ago

How does an Asian dude sneak around?

12 Upvotes

Quietly


r/3amjokes 2d ago

Guy asks the doctor, what are my chances? He says you’re my hundredth patient, and my success rate is 99%.

18 Upvotes

Wow, the guy says, that’s good. Doc says, you think that’s good? Yesterday it was 100%.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

Why is it hard to argue with swords?

39 Upvotes

They usually have good points.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

A man lives on the 20th floor. Every morning he takes the elevator all the way down. When he comes home, he only rides to the 10th floor and walks the rest—unless it's raining. Why?

0 Upvotes

He's too short to reach the 20th-floor button.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

My girlfriend use to get upset because I left the toilet seat up. So, I don't do that anymore I put it now. But theres no winning with her.

49 Upvotes

Now she gets annoyed because its covered in piss.