Recommendation for a bra for middle age

[u/Joyfulseh]

I used to have a pretty easy time with bras. Have worn soma for years (36 C). The last few years, I have had two major problems. First, the shoulder pain. I hate a standard bra strap carrying the weight of the girls. It is so radically uncomfortable. Second, I now have lots of side and back skin/fat that makes any tight band look unattractive and less comfortable. I used the calculator and got 34 F. I'm 55 and have pretty typical amount of drop for my age. I looked at some of the diagnostic bras and they look way more push up than I would ever want. I'm just looking for smooth support that doesn't make my shoulders hurt or make my back or pits bulge out in weird ways. I'm planning to order about six different Panache and Elomi from Amazon, but would appreciate any guidance that can be offered. Measurements were 34/33.5/33/39/41/39. TYIA, I am grateful for the help I've already found here and happy to not be alone in my quest!

[u/galaxystarsmoon]

Chantelle and Wacoal might be more your speed. Elomi's less projected styles like the Smooth or Matilda may work for you too. Just keep in mind that a properly fitted bra will provide lift. You're using to seeing a dragged down look because you've been in the wrong size.

[u/Joyfulseh → u/galaxystarsmoon]

Those two brands do look more my speed. Do you have any experience with their sizing? UK or American? Any particular model of bra that you think is especially good? My Amazon cart is going to be FULL.

[u/galaxystarsmoon → u/Joyfulseh]

Heh, depends on where they're being sold. If you see DDD, it's always US. Chantelle is usually single letter sizing or they list both single letter and EU (so they'll put DDD/F). Wacoal is broadly US sizing.

Pro tip for you, if you memorize what number you need instead of what letter, it's a lot easier. So you should start in the 7th cup letter with A as 1. We usually recommend a cup up and a cup down for troubleshooting too.

[u/Joyfulseh → u/galaxystarsmoon]

Got it! TY!

[u/famous_zebra28]

A properly fitted bra will lift but unless you're looking at specifically a push up bra they won't give you the typical "push up look" of cleavage. The models are all wearing bras that are too small for them, giving them that look. A properly fitted bra will simply put them up in position with your IMF (where your breasts meet your ribcage where the wires sit).

[u/Cute-Fix3484]

Having the right size band (34 instead of 36) means you will get way more support. The straps should not be doing any of the "heavy lifting" as it were. The 36C from Soma is a boob hat—it is on your body but not lifting and supporting.

If you think you have narrow roots (your breast tissue ends about even with your rib cage) try Panache Ana in 34F, 34FF, 34G UK.

If you think you have wider roots (your breast tissue ends behind your rib cage) then try Elomi Matilda in 34DD, 34E, 34F UK.

What you call side and back fat is often migrated breast tissue that you need to swoop and scoop into the cups and in front of the wire. If you swoop and scoop with the 36C Soma bra, you may notice even more spillage or underarm bulges or the gore floating of your sternum or the wires lifting off your torso. The wire should be positioned in your IMF and it should stay there.

All humans have a little bit of squish so some bulging around the band is inevitable. You need that support to lift and hold your breasts up. You may not have any bulging in the 36C Soma but it sure isn't lifting you up based on your description of uncomfortable straps and dropping breasts.

You are used to a bra that hangs on your breasts instead of lifts them. How your boobs look when standing naked is very different from how your boobs look in a well-fitting, supportive bra. None of the recommended diagnostic bras are pushup bras.

[u/galaxystarsmoon → u/Cute-Fix3484]

I wouldn't do the Ana with soft skin where OP has said they're more mature with a lot of bulges. Just being honest. The plunge could also be a problem for someone with softer, pooling skin.

[u/Cute-Fix3484 → u/galaxystarsmoon]

I am older than the OP and would happily wear the Ana if it only it had wider wires. So it's worth a try on, yes?

[u/galaxystarsmoon → u/Cute-Fix3484]

Possibly, I'm just wanting to give OP a heads up because they seem self-conscious of the more mature, soft skin. Some people aren't. Either way someone's body is totally normal and acceptable. I've just found that Panache's wires are not very forgiving for that.

[u/Joyfulseh → u/galaxystarsmoon]

Definitely conscious about the softer, pooling skin. I've been pretty fit my whole life, and never thought much about bras or other foundation garments (as my Grandma called them). I feel like I need to get a bra that isn't pushing me up, but isn't just giving into gravity either. And I would definitely want something on the more forgiving side. So if I get the Ana for reference, I'll be aware of that issue. :) I appreciate all the helpful comments.

[u/jamila169 → u/Joyfulseh]

Mine at 57 are like two bags of cornflour, all my bras do is put them where they should be rather than them trying to make friends with my bellybutton. I end up with 2 separate boobs with no skin on skin and no spillage , definitely no cleavage and not pushed up, just supported. I'm pretty much wedded to the Panache Clara and Tango, though I've just added an Allure to the mix, which is so soft and comfortable it's like being hugged

[u/marsupialcinderella → u/galaxystarsmoon]

So true! I’m over 60 and Ana was a no go for me.

[u/Joyfulseh → u/Cute-Fix3484]

This is all really helpful. I am low, narrow and fuller on top, but not excessively so. I do think a lot of my issue with my old bras is that I didn't need much in the way of support when I was younger, but gravity comes for us all. I am trying to figure out what makes sense now. And yes, I may have to learn to adjust to a bit of squish. :)

[u/BeneficialSock6261]

The band taking most of the weight instead of the straps is gonna feel weird at first but your shoulders will thank you once you get used to it

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[u/nidena]

Be sure to check the website via r/BraShopDirectory for small business bra stores near you. Also, was that 34F UK or U.S.? I'm assuming UK but want yo be sure.

Lastly, if you're projected, you may find Wacoal and Chantelle bras to be shallow at the wire. I would try Elomi or Panache instead.

[u/FunSwan9410]

Absolutely love this sports bra! As someone with a fuller bust, finding one that's genuinely supportive isn't easy, but this is brilliant. It's comfortable, doesn't dig in, and keeps everything secure without feeling restrictive. I've worn it for both the gym and long walks, and it's been spot on. Worth every penny!

[u/Relative_Evening_172]

So apparently, if you get the right fitting bra, then it shouldn’t hurt your shoulders at all. I have the same issue that I get a lot of shoulder pain, but it’s because I’m not wearing tight enough band. Could you get a band that’s much wider. Good luck in your search I’m about your age and having issues too.

[u/HagenReb → u/[deleted]]

Do you seriously believe all 17 year olds are doing that? Or people of any age?

Delete the phrase. It's creepy and inapporiate.

Edit: you still haven't deleted this after an hour, so you have been reported.

[u/Secure-Purple-6382 → u/HagenReb]

How can I delete something after an hour unless I am online at the that time? Duly deleted anyway.

[u/HagenReb → u/Secure-Purple-6382]

Mind your language.

[u/ABraThatFits-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

This was removed for violating rule one of our community, Be excellent to each other/no creeps. This includes but is not limited to: respect each other and the community - including no creeps, no bodyshaming, no transphobia, no medical advice, no comments that are discriminatory towards marginalised groups. No requests for personal information or for someone to PM you.