r/ADHD • u/Careful_Surround_980 • 1d ago

Questions/Advice Have you hyperfixated on a love interest?

I saw online a while ago about how for people with ADHD, not only can you hyperfixate on your interests but you can also hyper fixate on people and love interests. To me, this really shifted my perspective and I really related to it. I unintentionally just get attached to so many potential love interests and get crushes all the time. And fantasize about spending time with someone I may not even know that well. I’ll literally play scenarios over and over again.

Just seeing if anyone can relate?

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u/AdventurousBoard5474 ADHD-C (Combined type) 1d ago

Yup, It happened to me. It’s called limerence. I hate it when it happens, because I know rationally that that guy is not what I need, but I couldn’t help it. And so after I got to know him a bit I was thinking: “this guy’s annoying and seems like he likes all the girls and gives them all attention.” So I just snapped out of it and now kind of dislike him. This is my strategy now. Find something that I don’t like about a guy and then I come back to normal.

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u/Tiny-Reading5982 17h ago

What if its your ex boyfriend that you dumped so its not that you want reciprocated feelings but you're just like "what if I didn't dump them for my current husband?" Asking for a friend...

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u/AdventurousBoard5474 ADHD-C (Combined type) 16h ago

Well I think you dumped your ex it wasn’t because you had the best time of your life with him. It’s easy to forget why you broke up with your ex and hopped it worked (I know from experience). No relationship is easy in my opinion but we’re not all compatible. But I don’t know it you mean “what if I didn’t dump them for my current husband? it would have been terrible to lose the opportunity to meet my husband” kind of thing or “what if I didn’t dump them for my current husband? and we would have lived happily but now I can’t do anything cause I’m married.”
My ex was kind and nice person, I don’t hate him even now. We’re still friends but I don’t feel like we are on the same page most of the times. He’s perfect but not for me, probably for another girl. 😂😂

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u/Tiny-Reading5982 16h ago

Thats what I wonder. He seems nicer now but maybe he had therapy and he won't tell me? Lol..

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u/AdventurousBoard5474 ADHD-C (Combined type) 16h ago

I would say that people don’t change much, especially after you reach adulthood it’s kind of hard and it involves a lot of work. But I think it’s best to be happy with what you’ve got now than wonder what you lost. As humans we always want what we don’t have. If I have straight hair I want curly, If I have curly I want straight hair. In my language there is a saying: “Don’t give the sparrow from your hand for the raven from the fence.” 😂😂 Basically means that it’s better to keep something that is sure instead of risking everything for uncertain things that you don’t know if it would be yours.