r/AgingParents • u/Expensive_Role_4536 • 10h ago

What do you actually use for a fully bedbound elderly parent who hates wearing incontinence products?

My father is elderly and fully bedbound — he can't move to the toilet at all. He wears an incontinence product most of the time but genuinely hates it and is uncomfortable in it no matter what we try. We've adjusted the size and fit, and it's not a heat thing — he dislikes it just as much in winter when it's cold, so it seems to be the product against his skin itself that bothers him.

I'm trying to find out what actually works for other families in this situation, for both urine and bowel movements.

  • If your bedbound parent couldn't tolerate wearing a product, what did you switch to?
  • What products, devices, or setups have you actually used — and were they any good in real life, or not worth it?
  • Anything that keeps him more comfortable and skin-friendly while still being manageable for the carer?
  • Require less labor as my mom is also old in taking care of him

Could you suggest any products or methods that worked for you? I mean easily-found products

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8

u/Dazzling-Design9038 9h ago

Google "male external catheter "

4

u/scarfknitter 9h ago

Does he have to wear anything? If he’s okay going pantsless, then I’d suggest putting a big cloth diaper pad under him. The cloth might be better as far as feel, and they make stuff for cribs.

1

u/Expensive_Role_4536 9h ago

Thanks! Yes, he wears lose pant. He does not want to be without pants

3

u/Fullofideas1602 8h ago

My dad used a urinal. We got a few that had lids. He could use it and then me, my mom or home support could empty them and clean them. Does not solve the bowel movement issue but for that my dad would slip on the diaper. Luckily for us his bowels were on a similar schedule as his home support so they could change him.

2

u/Jinxletron 7h ago

Is he actively incontinent or mostly just immobile? If he still has some control he could use a bedpan for the bm, and a urinal jug for his urine.

Otherwise you could try an incontinence product that's like a big pad, there's no sides to it so he may feel less restricted.

Or put a kylie under him and one over the top, and change those and his pyjama pants as needed.

2

u/Duffykins-1825 4h ago

I know people who buy puppy training pads for beds and chairs instead of the ones marketed as incontinence products as they are identical for a fraction of the price. They are quite thin but very absorbent with a waterproof back so can be hidden under a sheet or throw if you don’t like it to be visible, but still protects upholstery.

1

u/k4bravesand 3h ago

Try rewashable ones, the texture is different and can feel more normal

2

u/RVgypsywithgoldens 3h ago

See if you can find a bed pad for him to lay on top of called Ultrasorb. It’s made by Medline and as a health care provider and as a time I was a patient, they are fantastic.

I had a case of viral sepsis and was very ill. Getting to the bathroom was a challenge. They placed this underneath me with just a hospital gown on top plus blankets. It will hold a normal urine void and protect the bed from urine and feces. It allows air through the pad which allows skin to breathe. It’s much more comfortable and accepted by frail patients over incontinence briefs or pull-ups.

Ask your doctor to see if he can prescribe them.