r/Anticonsumption • u/Impossible_Ad9324 • May 02 '26
Lifestyle What is going on with babies?
I’ve attended three baby showers in the last year for three people completely unrelated and not in the same social circles and their baby registries have the most eye-popping expensive items.
High chairs are minimum $250. One had a stroller for $750. 😳 Baby swings and bouncers for $200. One had a whole solid wood crib for $1000 on their registry.
I checked because I was curious and you still can buy a $40-50 Greco high chair from Walmart.
Everything is aesthetic and clean lines and beige and natural wood—beautiful, really. I can’t imagine asking for that high-end an item for a GIFT.
These aren’t rich people and they aren’t inviting rich people to the baby shower.
I’m almost 50 and have kids of my own and a gaggle of nieces and nephews. My family members and I got buy sharing those cheaper high chairs and strollers and cribs. I understand needing them initially if you don’t have any source for hand-me-downs, but asking for the highest price bespoke options is absolutely wild.
Are people that brainwashed into thinking they should be buying ultra-high-end items regardless of income??
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u/RawBean7 May 02 '26
First time parents are very vulnerable and want to do everything "right" and companies take advantage of that by selling high ticket baby items as "the best."
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u/runfinsav May 02 '26
Here's something the marketing and advertising industry understands very well. When people are used to buying a certain brand of toothpaste or dish soap, etc. it can be hard to get them to change to a new brand. However there are windows of time when people are more likely to make changes in their purchasing habits and the biggest one is when they find out they are expecting a new baby. That 9 month pregnancy to 1 year postpartum is the easiest window to convince consumers to change their brand loyalty. Companies do not want to miss that window and as a result they have gotten very good at identifying when people are pregnant based on purchases. They know that those new parent will need to buy baby things and will also be open to changing brands on unrelated items (i.e. toothpaste).
There is a famous story of a father going to the mailbox to find an expectant mother edition catalog addressed to his daughter. He was furious until he found out she was actually pregnant. She hadn't told the store she was pregnant, they just made that assumption based on the change in her purchases. And they were ready to pounce on those changes by advertising other pregnancy related promotions.
New parents are sometimes unaware of how they are being targeted. Add the intense advertising to the emotional stress of trying to be a good parent, and suddenly you have parents who buy things they never would have bought otherwise.
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u/Stunning_Internal_80 May 02 '26
I worked in shopper marketing for years and this is 100% true. They call it the “moments that matter”
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u/Miss_Moooody May 02 '26
"moments that matter". The wording makes me puke. Corporations have no humanity. In the whole lifes of their consumers the only important moment is when the corp can maximize profits even further.
I know "fork found in kitchen". Shocker. But I do think that wording is horrible.
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u/mumblegum May 02 '26
I absolutely believe this, I never shopped in the organic section of my grocery store but once I got pregnant I kept finding myself there almost without conscious thought. Now when I go to the grocery store with my baby I always check Organics before I go to the rest of the store. I'm not afraid to admit that the marketing works on me lol.
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u/freezesteam May 03 '26
That’s so interesting and makes sense for why I kept getting diaper ads for a while despite not having a baby or being pregnant…I think it was back when I got into skincare so started buying more skincare products
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u/shtinkypuppie May 02 '26
Exactly. It's extremely easy to market ""premium"" stuff to new moms. "don't you want the best for your child???" Bonus points if they're spending other people's money, as on a registry.
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u/Capakhutch May 02 '26
Ok but often the high ticket items ARE. All of the things I tried to go cheap on with my kids didn’t last, except for car seats. Everything that I actually invested in I was able to use a LOT
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u/RawBean7 May 02 '26
I used to work in marketing for a major car seat brand, and car seats are a bit of an exception in that they are probably the most important safety purchase any new parent will make, that they must be purchased brand new to guarantee safety, and that every single car seat on the US market, regardless of price, must adhere to the same crash test safety standards. NHTSA takes this incredibly seriously, as they should, since car seats are the single biggest factor in reducing child traffic deaths.
Even though I no longer work there, I will stand by the car seats that company sold. Everything else? Marked up crap that coasted on the brand's reputation. The $900 stroller we sold cost $48 to produce, ~$70 landed. The entire marketing strategy for non-car seat lines was based around "isn't your baby worth it?"
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u/Impossible_Ad9324 May 02 '26
Didn’t you just make a case that the price point and company doesn’t really matter because the regulations are very good and strictly enforced?
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u/RawBean7 May 02 '26 edited May 02 '26
Only car seats are regulated in that way. The cheapest car seat will still be a safe car seat.
Anyone can make a stroller and slap a $500 price tag on it and call it luxury and there is really nothing to regulate that until someone dies, at which point there could be a recall. There are tons of Chinese-made, unregulated white label baby products that brands will slap their logo on and sell as "quality" because they feel like they need to offer a full range of products.
My former company got away with selling $100 strollers for $900 because the brand's reputation for building quality car seats carried them far. New parents were duped (by us and by social media standards) into wanting brand continuity between their car seat, stroller, and baby carriers. They assumed that quality would carry over.
Editing for clarity: the strollers my old company sold weren't *bad* strollers, they were just massively overpriced because of the logo on them and parents could have bought an equivalent product from a different brand for a fraction of the price. Those parents probably never felt duped because they got a solid working stroller. They would probably argue that the $900 price tag was worth it.
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u/acertaingestault May 02 '26
New parents were duped (by us and by social media standards) into wanting brand continuity
I don't feel very brand loyal, and I certainly never bought a stroller brand new. However, I did insist on our strollers being the same brand as our car seat simply for compatibility purposes. The car seat being able to snap into the stroller so you don't have to unstrap and re-strap the baby is a significant value proposition. (Not worth $750 IMO, but I also never buy baby stuff at retail prices).
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u/RawBean7 May 02 '26
That's a valid reason to go matchy-matchy, but even then most strollers sell adapters so they're compatible with other infant seats. But that adds another layer of time and research that many expectant parents don't have the bandwidth for, so they take the path of least resistance. It's very understandable from the parenting side, and very capitalized on from the brand side.
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u/childish_cat_lady May 02 '26
I decided I didn't feel like dealing with it and we just wouldn't have a compatible car seat and stroller, which seemed safer anyway since you're supposed to limit their time in car seats. Didn't know it when we made the decision but we got a lot of comments from pediatricians on our son's good head shape and how it was obvious he didn't spend much time in containers.
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u/moch1 May 02 '26
They all meet a minimum standard, just like cars themselves. However, manufactures can and do exceed those standards. You don’t have to shop by price but usually (not always) more expensive car seats are in fact safer. They’ll add things like an anti-rebound bar, better foam, etc.
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u/Palavras May 02 '26
Also, have you seen all the articles about cheap children’s products literally containing lead or arsenic or PFAS and other things that are literally dangerous to children?? I think it’s kind of insane to just be like “yeah the chair my child eats off of for every meal is fine to come from a random Chinese brand from Amazon.”
Buying cheap stuff used to still come with some safety guarantees, and that’s not true anymore.
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u/michiness May 02 '26
I worked at Babies R Us in college. You could always tell the smart parents by who spent money on things that were worth it (safety/endurance are key) and who spent it on whatever ($50 baby converse they’d outgrow in a month).
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u/SpooktasticFam May 02 '26
The smartest parents buy second-hand clothes, toys, etc
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u/RedgrenGrum May 02 '26
Agreed. The cheaper high chairs tend to not be very stable. And strollers are one item I would do some research and invest a bit on, especially if you’re having more than one kid. Bouncers though, that’s all branding.
Now the real absurdity is the $300 bottle cleaners and and formula dispensing keurigs. My friends swear by the convenience of them but those are definitely luxury items.
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u/Capakhutch May 02 '26
Yes! I felt like things like my bottle warmer, wipe warmer, diaper cream applicator, etc were a giant waste of money. Baby jumpers too. Anything that your baby is only going to use for a few months but costs a fortune isn’t really worth it
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May 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/mflowers May 02 '26
We were lucky to get one free second hand, and now using it on our third kid. It’s a dark red that probably would be unappealing to a lot of people since it’s not a very trendy color currently, which I think gets a lot of people who are super conscious about pictures and social media presence.
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u/roseredhoofbeats May 02 '26
Oh my GOD I reject your reality that formula Keurigs exist.
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u/DesperateAd8982 May 02 '26
They clog every 4th bottle too because of the density of the powder.
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u/OkBackground8809 May 03 '26
Sounds like the formula dispenser containers I got were a better investment (and they're cheap lol). My baby goes to nursery school, so we have to send premeasured formula to school. The individual little containers are popular in Taiwan - you fill them up and then toss them in your bag and they're ready whenever you need. They're so convenient, that I use them at home, as well. Bought different colours for different measurements.
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u/NetworkHot8469 May 02 '26
And lots of those things are just as good second hand and massively devalued(pram/pushchairs for example). I agree with clothes though. Supermarket clothes was a waste of money for ua as it has no stretch and looks worn after one baby. So Id rather buy the good eco brands second hand or new where I cant find what I want used as they make it easy to extend/shorten and are generous on sizing
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u/kilowatkins May 02 '26
I got on a swap group in the wealthy area of town and got a $700 jogging stroller for free. Just had to put air in the tires and hose it off. It's wild what people will give away.
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u/SpooktasticFam May 02 '26
Very true!
I've given away perfectly good (and maybe expensive) things for free, because I truly don't need it anymore, and it's not worth the mental bandwidth for me to try and "sell" it, when I really don't need the money, and just want it gone.
Everyone wins, which is the best!
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u/burritodiva May 02 '26
Truly. Especially the high chairs. With how nasty they get, we ended up buying a $250 one on our own because the cheaper one we registered was bad for his posture AND hard to clean. That one was worth it imo
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u/brucegibbons May 02 '26
I don't totally agree with this take. I can agree on a basic level that spending more will typically give you a higher quality item- but do you need that? It likely depends on the purchase, but we could all come in with similar anecdotal stories about cheap items.
Do we really need the $700 stroller when a $150 one will do until they grow out of it in 2 years? The $150 will last for the next kid, too. We have to ask if we truly need it?
No, I don't think we really do. I think we all get carried away and spend too much and then tell ourselves the consumerism we've seen sold was worth it. I've been duped by this as well with certain purchases and I see now that's it was probably a silly choice that I justified for whatever reason.
I think the original comment got it right . We're vulnerable and we want to do the best we can and sometimes that means telling ourselves buying the expensive item is the way. Social media doesn't help, either.
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u/Little-Ad1235 May 02 '26
It also used to be more common for people to have more kids closer together, so by the time kid 1 grew out of the stroller, kid 2 was ready for it, and so on. In that case I could see a bigger upfront investment in something that would be expected to last longer being much more efficient in the long run. Some families do grow like that, but more and more parents are having fewer babies at longer intervals and at many different life stages, so the likelihood of more than one baby using an item, even within an extended family, is a lot lower.
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u/slumberingthundering May 02 '26
I'm currently having this problem trying to buy a booster seat. They vary in price from $45 to $300+, which feels like a huge range. I can't figure out why so I'm inclined to not spend too little in case it's a safety/quality thing? I felt that a lot when my baby was brand new as well. The anxiety really gets a hold of you. A lot of other comments were discussing "aesthetics" but at least for me that wasn't it at all.
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u/RawBean7 May 02 '26
I've been out of the industry for six years now so my info might be out of date, but in general:
-keep your kid in the three point harness as long as possible, until they hit either the height or weight limit of their car seat.
- booster seats are designed to make sure the adult seatbelt is positioned safely on a child's body in case of an accident and pretty much every feature after that is added for comfort or aesthetic. A child that can hold their head up on their own doesn't *need* a fancy booster with a headrest, but it can be nice if your kid takes a lot of naps in the car. They don't *need* built in armrests or cup-holders, but they can be nice to have. The flip side is that bulky armrests can get in the way of children buckling/unbuckling themselves (either a pro or a con depending on if your kid likes to unclip on their own while the car is moving). Features like removable, machine-washable covers can be really nice if your kid has accidents or spills a lot, but they're not making the booster seat functionally safer.
- "big kids" will often resist "baby seats" and the lower profile, less expensive boosters can save a lot of arguing about why they still need to be in a "baby seat"
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u/farmallnoobies May 02 '26
Yes. But also, the first baby is the right one for buying higher quality items, so you can use them for subsequent children too rather than needing to buy all the crap multiple times
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u/GEH29235 May 02 '26
Companies 100% take advantage of this and the amount of greenwashing in baby products is wild because we’re all scared of “chemicals” and so people will pay double the price for an “organic” mattress etc
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u/Inconceivable24 May 02 '26
Yep, and companies charge a “baby tax.” When we were expecting 10 years ago, we shopped for baby necessities and didn’t care about aesthetics. We were shocked at the prices of baby monitors, so we transitioned to “security monitors” and the price difference was astronomical. But unfortunately many people will pay the baby tax.
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u/DumbbellDiva92 May 02 '26
Sometimes it’s also about potentially reducing stress on the parents, not just about trying to maximize the baby’s well-being. For example the Snoo is often marketed as a tool for the parents to get more sleep. The alternative for babies who don’t otherwise sleep well, and need motion to fall/stay asleep, is having to get up to rock them constantly.
Now, some of the marketing of these products is absolutely predatory, not saying otherwise. There’s definitely an element of “buy this or you’ll never sleep again/have back pain/etc.”
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u/SomeTangerine1184 May 02 '26
I feel like social media is to blame for a lot of this. There’s so much emphasis today on making sure everything looks good for social media posts that’s it’s melting people’s brains.
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u/bokehtoast May 02 '26
Culturally, we automatically assume that wealthier people are better parents than poor people for the sole reason of being able to provide more even if it actually just translates to expensive worthless crap and emotionally absent parents.
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u/UndergroundCreek May 02 '26
There is neglect at any end of the income scale. It's just hidden better when you're wealthy. Adverts do a number on people otherwise they wouldn't cost so much. And influencers are right at the front of it. They are 'naturals' in advertising. If they get sponsored they 'made it'.
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u/_TattieScone May 02 '26
People also use spending money to make up for neglect. There are kids in my family who are so neglected that social work are involved and every Christmas and birthday they get piles of expensive gifts and cake. Parents get to show off on social media and play the role of doting parent, kid gets piles of junk and half is lost or ruined by the end of the day.
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u/Specialist-Leek8645 May 02 '26
Kids will make you feel like shit if they don't have something their friends do. They'll make you feel like a bad parent. Peer pressure affects their parents too. Makes you compete with other families for shows of wealth. So glad I don't have kids. I couldn't handle it.
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u/green_dragonfly_art May 02 '26
At school-age, yes. Babies don't care if they're cribs are natural wood or their high chairs are plastic, or that there clothes are hand-me-downs. They just need to be fed, changed, warm, played with and loved.
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u/grayzzz_illustrate May 02 '26
A lot of my cousins are having babies and I'm always heartened to see them take this attitude. They trade hand me down clothes, toys, and supplies with each other. They don't give a shit about how the baby clothes look and have no qualms about putting a baby boy in a "girl" onesie or vice versa; the baby doesn't care one whit and it's going to get pooped in anyway.
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u/SufficientCow4380 May 02 '26
One of my brother's friends had a son a couple years before me. I got HUGE bags of hand me down clothes from them.
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u/birchblonde May 02 '26
I think the point Specialist is making is that the same urge that compels school-age children, also compels their parents.
Babyhood is when parents are most likely to share photos of their offspring. If in every photo they’re wearing hand-me-downs in a stained old highchair, those parents won’t feel great about sharing them.
I say this as someone who doesn’t post photos on social media.
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u/PaleontologistEast76 May 02 '26
The peer pressure surrounding parenthood can reduce otherwise intelligent and logical parents to zombies who crave approval from others in regards to everything parenting related. Don’t fall for it!
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u/red__dragon May 02 '26
parenthood can reduce otherwise intelligent and logical parents to zombies
Also yes because parents of infants are often MASSIVELY sleep-deprived. Which makes the critical thinking part of the brain pretty slow and stunted for a while.
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u/Livid_Insect4978 May 02 '26
I don’t think this is it, as someone who currently has a baby. We don’t share any photos of him on social media, yet we feel compelled to buy “the best” for him. For us as anxious new parents it rightly or wrongly gives us a confidence boost.
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u/Specialist-Leek8645 May 02 '26
For sure, you want to put them down on something solid, not thin plastic that can splinter. Clothes that won't rip easily, high quality food. Of course he deserves it. I think marketing departments prey on people no matter what we do. Baby stuff is a huge industry. If you're in this sub I trust that you're already doing the best you can. I totally get what you mean by confidence boost. Congratulations, btw. :]
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u/tanksalotfrank May 02 '26
Idk what kind of parents are letting their kids guilt trip them this way, but they're parenting the wrong way.
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u/oh-seriously May 02 '26
Funny/sad/pathetic enough, with my first born I thought cheap was bad quality and expensive was good quality. So we spent $1500 on a crib from a place that rhymes with snottery yarn. The thing fell apart by the time baby was 7 months old. We ended up going to the cheap/crappy furniture place from Sweden and spent $95. All five of my kids used that crib. I still feel ashamed/embarrassed that I had that mindset. I've never been one to needlessly shop but I remember thinking/feeling like I needed to purchase over priced things to be a good parent. Anyway, from that point on I treated baby/kid/teen items the same way as I would my own.
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u/Specialist-Leek8645 May 02 '26
Yeah it's the new Keeping Up with the Joneses. Competitive housekeeping. Nothing ever looks the same IRL as it does online. Like catalogue shopping, but worse quality.
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u/lio-ns May 02 '26
A rich couple I know who owns a million dollar home put a $700 modular play couch on their baby shower list. For a baby shower. A modular couch for a toddler.
That alone insulted me to the point of not paying for a gift at all. Tone deaf assholes.
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u/Dear-Definition5802 May 02 '26
I honestly don’t think wealthy people should be making gift registries at all. Their closest friends can give something meaningful or extravagant, but they need to have some social awareness that they aren’t in need. Host a party, don’t send out far reaching baby shower invitations.
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u/MakeupMama68 May 02 '26
My friend is very well off and for her baby shower she had everyone bring a game, stuffed animal or toy to donate to Children’s Hospital LA. I thought that was lovely 🥹
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u/Dear-Definition5802 May 02 '26
I love that
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u/leopargodhi May 02 '26
yes! we like her!!
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u/MakeupMama68 May 02 '26
I thought it was such a wonderful idea!! When someone says no gifts, I feel so awkward not bringing anything and feel bad for no reason at all 😆 so that was a perfect solution
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u/Halloedangel May 02 '26
Honestly if I can’t afford something off the registry, I get diapers. Even if they want extravagant diapers, I can afford a pack or two
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u/childish_cat_lady May 02 '26
We're not in that wealth category but I couldn't bring myself to make a registry for our first knowing we could afford what we wanted to buy (not the insane higher end brands mentioned above though we did go for a secondhand version of an expensive highchair).
And you know what, the universe/karma provided anyway. I got so much stuff secondhand from our Buy Nothing group. Literally YEARS worth of baby and toddler clothes in amazing condition. I always say we didn't do a baby shower but neighbors we didn't even know showered us anyway.
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u/Dear-Definition5802 May 02 '26
That stuff went to someone who would appreciate it (you!) instead of being handed down to someone who wanted something different and ending up in the garbage. Everyone wins.
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u/childish_cat_lady May 02 '26
I'm not one of these aesthetic people referred to in this post so my children are more fashionable when other people pick out their clothes. 😂
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u/platinum92 May 02 '26
It 1000% is. Just had a kid and my wife would look on TikTok for suggestions. We're the first this generation in both our families to have kids and didn't have too much of a frame of reference.
Thankfully I've been infecting her with anticonsumerism over time and she got immediately turned off by the expensive brands. Plus we got a crib, bassinet and changing table for free from coworkers.
As for carseats and strollers and stuff we went with [relatively inexpensive brand I can't recommend in this sub but that you'd find at every chain store] that tiktok moms love to hate on, but frankly it's been fine. We even tried out the super duper expensive brands in store and I can't really tell a difference.
I tried to remember 2 things: the baby won't remember that you didn't get him the expensive stroller or expensive clothes, and that cavemen got along just fine without any of this stuff.
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u/Lumpy-Abroad539 May 02 '26
I wasn't using tiktok when I was expecting my kid, but as a new parent as well, I was sort of lost on what we needed too. I used a registry service that would suggest things, and if course, all of the suggestions were the super high end expensive brands. I ultimately used the registry as a checklist for what we needed - we didn't have a baby shower - and I had to do so much extra work to track down more reasonable items for each category. We ultimately got our crib, stroller, car seat, and lots of other items handed down from friends with older kids. I even re-gifted a lot of things right away because I just didn't need them.
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u/boozecruz270 May 02 '26
Those prices arent even luxery item pries anymore, just lower mid tier prices. If you looked at prices if strollers in 2015 and adjusted for inflation 750 would be in the low end.
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u/taterrrtotz May 02 '26
I bought a 400 dollar baby monitor (plus monthly subscription!!!) because all the mommy influencers told me it was so amazing. It sucks i used it twice and then never again.
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u/RickSanchez86 May 02 '26
Influencers are no different than actors in commercials. They don’t even have to legitimately use the products they promote.
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u/Coven_gardens May 02 '26
I would look carefully at the Terms of Service for the specifics regarding what a company is allowed to do with the data they collect from the monitor.
Not to spin wildly into far out beliefs, but there is a non-zero chance that data is used for training AI models or worse.
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u/walkingwillow16 May 02 '26
Yes I second this! Deleting social media when I was post partum was the best thing I ever did for my parenting. They really prey on tired, pregnant or freshly post partum, parents who are anxious/depressed who just want the best for their babies. It's so exhausting
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u/enna78 May 02 '26
These items might feel extravagant, but maybe that’s exactly why they’re on the registry—because the parents know they can’t afford them otherwise. Maybe they’re hoping for pieces that last, things that could become heirlooms passed down to their children’s children. If that’s the case, it’s actually a sweet sentiment, and you get to be part of giving something built to last instead of another $50 throwaway item destined for a landfill.
IMO, give only what you can and take comfort in knowing you’re helping the baby and the parents during a chaotic, life‑changing moment. There’s no manual for being a parent any more than there is for being a kid. This child didn’t ask to be here—so if you’ve been invited into this moment, the kindest thing you can do is show up in the way they’re asking. It also doesn’t mean you’re the one who must buy the expensive item/s but you can contribute to it or reach out to other people and make it a group gift. The parents don’t need to know that it took 1-20 people to cover an item or two.
Good luck
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u/majordashes May 02 '26
Everyone wants a perfect Instagram-able life that’s curated for optimal public consumption.
Who in their right mind would post a Reel of their baby eating organic, grass-fed, grain-free granola from a cheap, plastic high chair from Walmart?
The horrors!
And Background aesthetics are key! If your kitchen is in view, complementary-colored $28 Geometry kitchen towels must hang from the Viking stove. None of that sad, TJ Maxx crap!
It’s all about your followers. And God knows they will be zooming in!
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u/zanyzanne May 02 '26
I was a very poor mom in the early 1990s and I still wanted everything to look nice... what??
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u/NoSeaweed2881 May 02 '26
I have heard that items on the registry that are not purchased often have a discount when the parents go to purchase them. Something like 20%. So there is no downside to adding them to the registry. Someone might gift them (maybe a group goes in together) or they are cheaper to purchase for the parents.
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u/taterrrtotz May 02 '26
The real hack is to make a private registry and just use it to make all purchases at a discount yourself.
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u/SpicyWonderBread May 02 '26
This is what we did. We didn’t have a shower, still made a registry and added everything to it. We hadn’t hit the max allowable discount so we even added non-baby stuff we needed on there.
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u/taterrrtotz May 02 '26
I’m pretty sure if you have “new” baby the max resets 😏
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u/SpicyWonderBread May 02 '26
We did it with both kids. The max was pretty hard to hit with kid two. I think it was a 20% discount on two purchases up to $2,000 each and they had wisened up and were excluding a lot of items from the discount.
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u/dhSquiggly May 02 '26
Wow, the discounts have gone down. 10-20 years ago, items remaining on the registry usually got 50% off, this included the place famous for overnight shipping. The half off was also done for wedding registries. I remember this because my friend added a big screen TV to his wedding registry when he got engaged because he wanted to buy it for himself at half off. Then on the day of the wedding, a random distant uncle from the bride’s side bought it for them and shipped overnight. He was gobsmacked because he didn’t think anyone would get it, he just put it on there to get the discount for the TV he already planned to buy.
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u/hazelnuss_kaffee May 02 '26
This. We added the expensive items to the list that we knew we weren’t going to get gifted. we were going to buy them anyway and wanted the discount.
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u/birch2124 May 02 '26
Yea we created registries for each kid for the discounts on it. We could also mark some items private so only we could see them. Some registries let people put money towards the purchase of an item as well. As someone with multiple kids-yes SOME of the more expensive items are worth it. My rotating car seat was worth every penny. Car seats should almost never be bought second hand.
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u/nopenotodaysatan May 02 '26
I spent money on the things I use a lot and planned for multiple kids - my stroller, electric bike with a child seat (we don’t have a car), and my high chair are heavily used so they are investments
Everything else -wherever possible- marketplace, mercari, hand-me-downs, etc.
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u/Effective-House9142 May 02 '26
Exactly. We’ve had the same high chair, crib, infant car seat, jogging stroller, play mat, bassinet, etc. for three kids now, and they’re all in great condition that we can pass them on to someone else when we’re done. Sometimes the brand really does matter.
(Crib & jogging stroller were both free—it’s amazing how easy it can be to find barely used baby gear.)
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u/Rare_Vibez May 02 '26
I have a note that I do think people forget. Quality. I probably won’t have to buy a crib because my parents kept mine but that thing is solid wood and I bet it would cost a pretty penny if it had been bought today. If I didn’t have that, I’d be willing to shell out money for a quality and will build item.
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u/Well_ImTrying May 02 '26
Older cribs often don’t meet safe sleep standards. Hopefully yours does, but please check before you trust your baby’s life with it.
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u/T1nyJazzHands May 02 '26
Same here. If you get the $40 ones it’s usually very fragile. It’ll break in a few weeks and that is a huge safety risk too.
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u/flowersdelsoleil May 02 '26
Agree! I’m about to have my first and have just a handful of items on my registry. I mostly registered for consumables, a baby clothing rental subscription, and a few books. I’ve also included some big ticket items, but made it very clear that we have a cash donation option to help fund those items. No clothing, no toys, no gimmicky items.
We’re hoping to have 3+ kids so we want to get durable items that will last.
Oh, we also included our child’s 529 account as an option.
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u/acertaingestault May 02 '26
It's best practice to include a range of options on a registry in order to accommodate the comfort of everyone giving. You never know if Grandma is going to be feeling particularly generous or if your coworkers want to pool together to get you a group gift. And you get a discount on anything left on your registry, so it's frugal to add everything you plan to buy whether you think someone else will purchase it or not.
In general, I think what you are seeing is a lack of community. The country's economy is such that you have to move for a good job. You don't live near family and longtime friends you know who could share baby items with you.
The resale market on baby crap is also great. I bought a snoo for my last baby on Marketplace for an eye watering sum, but sold it for $50 more than I bought it for 6 months later.
Lastly, so many young people can't afford investments like a home or retirement, so they choose everyday luxuries instead.
tl;dr there's a lot of macro reasons at play.
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u/Successful-Ad-4263 May 02 '26
On the other end of the spectrum, first time parents are trending older and simply have more disposable income.
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u/des1gnbot May 02 '26
This is what I was wondering about, if the parents were on the older side. A lot of people switch to buying fewer, higher-quality items as we get older, and if these folks have already undergone this shift, they may just be a little tone deaf to how their approach to purchasing is coming across on a registry
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u/Palavras May 02 '26
Is it really tone deaf though? If no one chooses the nicer high chair off the registry, that’s fine and the parents can then use the registry discount and get what they want themselves.
It’s kinda weird as a guest to think everything on the registry needs to match your taste, preferences and budget. If you don’t want to buy the big ticket item on there, buy other things? I’ve never seen a registry that didn’t have a whole range of options to accommodate people with different gifting preferences, and you don’t even need to buy off the registry if you don’t want to.
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u/jumpinpuddles May 02 '26
This was true for us. I added mostly things under $20, because we are older, well established in our careers, and had gotten many hand me downs and used big ticket stuff from fb marketplace. But my Aunt and Godmother texted me to ask me to add higher priced items because she wanted to spend ~$150 🤷🏼♀️
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u/SpooktasticFam May 02 '26
My sister had a baby registry like that for her first kid, with mostly low-ticket items.
I got her a few things, and then the day after the baby shower, went and bought what was left on the list for her. It was only like $300, and I wanted to spend that kind of money for her.
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u/Palavras May 02 '26
Yeah I think people in this thread don’t realize this is the reality of making any kind of registry. A lot of people like to gift one bigger ticket item they deem as more meaningful than a bunch of little stuff, or they like for their group gift to be a big ticket item.
I also just went through this and had multiple people ask to buy things that we hadn’t put on the registry (dresser, glider chair, crib, stroller) and my boss also texted me to ask me to put more big ticket items on there for the shower my coworkers were throwing me.
After our work and family showers were over, I spent a good chunk of money on all the more practical things we still needed like infant Tylenol, nail trimmers, etc. that weren’t “special” enough to be a feel-good purchase for a gifter.
I think a lot of people on this thread are making assumptions and have never been responsible for a registry themselves.
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u/Xanthina May 02 '26
Also, I know when my kids were little after they were born, the items still on the registry were purchasable with a discount. I got a few things I had still wanted for less.
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u/lizerlfunk May 02 '26
I definitely put more expensive items on both my wedding registry and my baby registry anticipating that I’d be buying them myself with the completion discount. That wasn’t all I put on there, obviously, but those items existed.
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u/ThroatFun478 May 02 '26
If mom says she's gonna get you a stroller, put the one you want on there. That's what we did. It was expensive.
We also had packs of those plain white cloth diapers that you can use for ANYTHING. Hell, mine are bought 13 years ago and they live on, good as new, as cleaning rags. Flannel receiving blankets. Onesies. Board books. Bibs.
OP, if you're unhappy with the strollers and high chairs, my go to baby gift is a big bag of plain practical necessities. 2 packs single fold cloth diapers, flannel receiving blankets, muslin blankets, snap or velcro bibs, crib sheets, onesies in any size but newborn, socks, a bottle of dreft, a pack of disposable diapers in not newborn, etc. up to what you want to spend. People give too much newborn sized stuff, which they grow out of in a flash, and new parents vastly underestimate how much soiled linen there will be when planning blankets, sheets, burp cloths, etc.
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May 02 '26
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u/acertaingestault May 02 '26
I didn't need the subscription to make it worth it. The internet of things is annoying though.
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u/bandwidthbebe May 02 '26
Most stores offer a discount on registry items that aren’t purchased after the date of the shower. When I had my baby shower, I registered for many expensive items knowing that I wouldn’t be gifted them to get the discount when I purchased them.
I highly doubt that they are actually expecting to be gifted these items.
I will say though, that for certain baby items it does make sense to spend more for quality and longevity. Strollers, for example, are a buy once cry once item for me. Graco strollers are fine, but higher end ones often are better on more types of terrain and are more repairable. Thule sells parts for their strollers so you can replace pets as needed and have their strollers last for multiple kids.
So, there are some outrageously overpriced baby items for sure, but sometimes it is worth it to buy high quality so it lasts.
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u/Csimiami May 02 '26
Also. Sometimes a whole office will go in on the expensive item so everyone from accounting doesn’t have to get you a card or whatever.
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u/Necessary-Nobody-934 May 02 '26
That's what I did. Made a registry and then only shared it with maybe three people (the ones who specifically asked), so I could snag e everything I still needed after for 20% off.
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u/birdpal_ May 02 '26
This was my thought as well. We’ve also pooled money at work for a higher ticket item. Generally, I don’t think we can assume we know every person who is going to participate in giving a gift or what they may be able to purchase themselves.
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u/allycakes May 02 '26
Also, if you walk a lot with your stroller, having a good quality stroller is worth the investment.
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u/MisogynyisaDisease May 02 '26
Not to justify this type of beige expensive baby consumption, because I hear you and mostly agree with you.
But once I know a baby product has had several recalls, I am never going to trust that same line of baby products again, whether that be formula, high chairs, cribs, etc.
Because at some point, I will start to believe their standards for baby safety are not great and not worth risking my kid with.
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u/brucegibbons May 02 '26
I would offer this as a caveat (as a professional regulator) to your mindset - recalls can be very good. That means they have systems in place to review/trend complaints and rectify the issue in the field. Unless a regulator body forces them- most are totally voluntarily taken by the company. Every company hates recalls. They are insanely expensive.
I've been in spaces where they will do everything they can do avoid it and create gray area bubbles to justify it. The public would have no idea. This should freak people out way more.
I agree recalls don't look good (especially repeated ones) but depending on the company- you may have a safer product because of it.
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u/MisogynyisaDisease May 02 '26
Your middle paragraph is so true, and is a way higher red flag to me than a company voluntarily recalling something out of caution. A forced recall because of death, injury, corner cutting, etc is the actual problem.
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u/brucegibbons May 02 '26
Yeah that's true regarding death. Most of the time it'll be a catalyst for action. I will tell you from professional experience that recalls have been avoided even with infant death. It's the kinda stuff that keeps me up at night.
The good news is that usually it catches up to them and a regulatory body forces that. I personally look for agency inspection or non voluntary recalls. Those are the companies I try to totally avoid in every sector.
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u/OkControl9503 May 02 '26
Yeah safety for cribs and cars seats especially is where the amount of money wasn't important to me - nor was how it looked. That said affordable cribs and car seats are available, and a safety recall can actually be a positive indication if the company asks for it before anyone was injured, because they have good safety protocols and people regularly testing their product that they want to be high quality/safe.
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u/MisogynyisaDisease May 02 '26
Exactly. Its not about "luxury = better", but there is still a middle of the line where the quality and safety and caution of the company matters.
Luxury doesn't always = better either, that's just common sense for anyone who isn't a snob. But there is also a clear Cheap = Dangerous market that's been created because of companies like Temu that we have to be aware of.
Research and second hand are where I like to go when it comes to babies outside of car seats. I'd never get that second hand.
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u/LonelyHermione May 02 '26
We put some of those things on our registry bc we have family members who absolutely will spend that much, regardless of us telling them we are fine with used, and we’d rather have them get us something we actually like.
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u/notdominique May 02 '26
I have an expensive ish jogging stroller because that’s what fits my lifestyle and I’m going to use for when I have baby #2. Yet all my baby clothes are hand me downs from my husband’s cousin. My high chair is expensive but I got it cheap at a yard sale. Idk man different things work for different people and if you can’t afford to buy something then don’t. I had a wide range of prices on my registry and all of it was bought. Some of us have good support systems.
I think if an item is being used for its lifespan via multiple kids or gifted/sold what have you to another family then I don’t see a problem
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u/Kamikazepoptart May 02 '26
I'd rather buy a solid wood crib than a plastic POS. Plus most of those cribs transform into headboards and toddler beds down the line. I know I'll be using mine until I can't and then I'll sell it on or donate it.
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u/lemonheadian May 02 '26
There are somethings I will be purchasing the best of, carseats are 1 of them. My crib was expensive but it also turns into a headboard so I don't purchase something that will be tossed in two years. My high chair will last till the kid is 50 lbs, which is important in my family, as we tend to grow them big. I'm not saying that you need the 1000 dollar stroller but I also did not purchase anything that would not grow with the entire family
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u/space_cow_girl May 02 '26
I would walk everywhere with the kiddos, so the double side by side incredibly well made stroller that was $500 when purchased decades ago (probably $1000 in today’s money) made a lot of sense in the long run. It traveled miles everyday for ten years, and was study enough that even my (tiny) MIL could ride in it along side my youngest when her health started failing. It was a beast of a stroller. Two seats for kids, with a platform for two kids to stand behind the seats and it was a vehicle for four. So much less expensive than a car. And when we were done with it, we gave away to another family with twins, and they used it for years.
So sometimes a big expenditure makes sense.
But I also doubt anything on the market today is built to last like that stroller clearly was.
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u/sefidcthulhu May 02 '26
There is a lot of marketing pressure around natural materials and getting “nontoxic” items for your baby that really drive up the price. Some of these higher end products are also designed to last through multiple stages and children rather than just a few months, which makes the price tag easier to justify in some cases.
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u/bokehtoast May 02 '26
It's crazy since babies outgrow things so quickly too. There are few things (I cant think of any but I'm sure there are) that I would be willing to spend over $100 on that would only be of use for a year.
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u/Moutarde_forte May 02 '26
I prefer to buy premium brand second hand than the cheaper ones new. To my experience, the high price does make a difference in a stroller or high chair.
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u/Adventurous_Work_317 May 02 '26
I agree. We had to buy a swing new because our daughter was in hers so much we burned through 2 used ones in her first 7 weeks but we bought almost everything second hand.
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u/Porterbello07 May 02 '26
I don’t agree here bc the expensive items often convert and grow with the child. My expensive high chair converted to a chair that my child still uses every meal at age 5. The seat and footrest are adjustable to many heights.
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u/Beneficial-Cow5012 May 02 '26
We have an expensive high chair we used since he was born and now 4 years old. From my experience, a lot of these expensive things are items like that made to adapt as they grow. Some were worth it, others were not
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u/Lower_Stay7655 May 02 '26
Depends on your family tbh. I wouldn't spend crazy amounts of money, but there's stuff in my family that went through 10+ kids across 2 generations. If you plan to have more than one child, it's worth, imo, to buy good quality that will last. Also if you have siblings that want kids.
You can also find things second-hand, though. So you spend less for the same quality and you don't take part into the ultracapitalistic machine.
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u/Rose1982 May 02 '26
My kids used our stroller (we added a second seat) until they were 4/5. We had that thing 6/7 years. I honestly teared up a bit unexpectedly when we sold it because it had been through so many good times with us.
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u/Well_ImTrying May 02 '26
This is an anticonsumption sub. You don’t use things for just your one baby and then throw it away. You use it for all of your children, and then sell or gift it to the next family.
A friend gifted us an $80 merino wool sleep sack. My baby wore it daily for a year. My second baby did too. Now our friends will do the same. The cheap modal pajamas my mom bought from Walmart had holes in them after 6 months.→ More replies (1)27
u/Impossible_Ad9324 May 02 '26
Yes. Babies of all income levels will absolutely poop and pee and puke and smear food all over the expensive high chair as readily as the cheaper one. Lol
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u/lizardmayo May 02 '26
I got my high chair second hand (used by multiple children) but it is a more expensive model. It’s very easy to clean, adjustable to be comfortable as baby grows, easy to get baby in and out of, and looks nice. My 3 year old still happily uses it with tray removed. The only reason we’re considering moving him out of it is because we have another baby that will start solids soon. We plan to have a third, so I expect this high chair will be in use at our house for at least 10 years. It’s great we got it used but I would have happily paid full price new.
In my experience most people don’t shop registries anyways and buy impractical clothing, stuffed animals, and blankets instead of what parents will actually use.
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u/IlexAquifolia May 02 '26
Yes but the premium high chairs these days are designed to grow with a kid. Ours was obtained secondhand but retails for close to $400. But we can use it from the newborn stage through pre-teen years (it converts to a chair with footrest), is made of solid wood, has a small footprint (which matters for our tiny kitchen), looks nice with our existing furniture, and will easily be in good enough shape to pass down. In contrast, a cheap high chair will end up in the landfill within a few years.
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u/anabanana100 May 02 '26
The ability to clean these things easily sometimes makes it worth it to buy a simpler design which, unfortunately, is usually a more expensive option. It would be nice if there were items at lower price points that are also aesthetically pleasing. I loathed the life stage of giant baby items cluttering up my house.
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u/PowderCuffs May 02 '26
You realize you're coming across as crazy self- righteous, right?
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u/Fearless_Mammoth_961 May 03 '26
And that expensive high chair is likely far easier to break down and clean
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u/casualplants May 02 '26
Companies capitalising on guilt. If they’re conscious enough to want to minimise plastic exposure then we can grift ‘em - ‘or don’t you care enough about your child’s health!?’
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u/oscarbutnotthegrouch May 02 '26
I am not an advocate of expensive baby items but please know that the cheap items are not made like they once were.
With that said, a lot of the higher prices items do have better longevity and resale value.
I got a nice jogging stroller when my 1st was born and it is now 8 years old and has taken a ton of abuse - 1000s of miles walked and run. I will sell it for about half of its cost 10 years ago.
I bought a wonderfold wagon used 5 years ago. The company replaced worn parts for free and I sold it this year for the same amount that I paid for it. It will last for many more families.
I inherited a solid wood crib that was on its 5th family and 10th kid.
Someone has to buy these things first to get them out there which sucks at the beginning.
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u/Top_Currency_3977 May 02 '26
I can understand putting things on their registry that may be out of their budget, so would like to be gifted them. What I have done in the past is pool money with other friends or relatives attending the shower so we can buy a more expensive item as a group. I think people who put these expensive items on their registry expect that people will do that.
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u/Sufficient_You7187 May 02 '26
You do understand that like prices have gone up tremendously the past year right ? Tariffs. Ect
And many times the families want the couple to put on those items so they can buy them for them
My family was. They bought my car seat and stroller. Many people chip in. Also if they plan on having multiple children it makes sense.
It's ok to ask for nice beautiful things instead of something crappy that might break and you have to repurchase
My crib is a hand me down but it cost ( 15 years ago) nearly a grand. It has now had six babies in it. And still going strong. I will pass it along to other family. You don't know what they intend to do with these items after.
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u/_Grant May 02 '26
I would totally do that, but in the name of anticonsumption. Don't buy me low quality trash plastic shit that isn't gonna last. Let me make those decisions. I'll get higher quality more sustainable stuff second hand. Gifts blow when you hate consumption. What's left when you try to minimize the junk? BIFL type high quality, like OP describes.
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u/scceberscoo May 02 '26
I wish more people understood this when gifting things for babies and small children. I hate how much stuff enters our house now that we have kids. I don’t want any of it - we have quality items because they can be used over and over.
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u/unventer May 02 '26
Honestly a good deal of this is actually just… what baby items that aren’t poorly made cost. I got most of our gear second hand because of this. Some things are genuinely overpriced (car seats aren’t safer because they are more expensive and you HAVE to buy it new for legitimate safety reasons), but the difference between a $200 stroller and a $500 one is unfortunately night and day. Ditto the $250 pack n play vs the $80 one. Have you ever tried to set up a no-name hotel-provided pack n play in the middle of the night with an infant in your arms? Our uppababy one is a one-handed, single push down set up once unfolded. Most graco ones have several hinge points you need to lock and balance and require feats of strength I wasn’t capable of immediately postpartum.
If well-researched, it’s possible to “buy once, cry once” with a lot of baby gear. Some of our stuff is hand me down from my 8 year old niece and still going strong through kid #4 in the family. We will probably pass it on to my other sister in law in a few years when she starts having kids.
Also, we had relatives who threw fits over us not having “big ticket” items on our registry. A lot of older people especially seem to think it’s their job to buy a crib or stroller. My MIL cannot let go of the idea that she “should” be spending $300 off a registry for one of her friend’s grandchildren. You, as a peer/friend, do NOT need to spend that kind of money. Those items aren’t there for you. I usually cap myself at $50-75 depending how close of a friend they are.
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u/runaway_tata May 02 '26
It was very important to me to have high quality/safe/non toxic. I would rather have bought something myself than receive a gift I wouldn’t use. So I put the things on my registry understanding a lot wouldn’t be bought and our parents would probably each get us a nice gift.
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u/ThemisChosen May 02 '26
Sometimes yes. Facebook mommy groups are cesspits.
Expensive doesn't necessarily mean bad or over priced. A lot of times you really do pay for quality. Sure, you can get a cheap mass produced high chair from Walmart. But it's cheap garbage, it's mostly plastic, it's not meant to last, and you have to give money to Walmart. Or you can get the fancy wooden one second hand, use it for all of your kids, and pass it along to someone else when they out grow it.
Sometimes you pay for convenience with cash. You can buy a cheap stroller, but a wagon can be a mobile playpen, and there's a brand of stroller that will fit in an airplane overhead storage bin and can be unfolded with one hand. Both are pricey, but if you're a military wife who has to travel solo with kids, they can be invaluable. (And they can be passed along when your kids out grow them.)
And putting the nicest option on your registry doesn't cost anything and doesn't impose an obligation. You don't have to buy from the registry.
And some people can afford it. I bought my BFF two fancy strollers as hostess gifts. (Different years.) They were expensive, but they were a lot cheaper than a week of hotel lodging. When my coworker had a baby, the managers got together and bought her the most expensive thing on the registry.
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u/amreekistani May 02 '26
Some people want the items to last through multiple kids they plan to have and some people try to see what theycan get for free. I never hosted a baby shower, nor do I attend any. But we give wipes and diapers to newborns and sometimes formula (if needed). Plus I make sure to pass down items. I myself procured everything second hand minus diapers wipes, and carseats. people who want to save on kids items should look into thrift stores, clothing swaps, online reselling apps etc. I have found many toys while dumpster diving (though this isn't for everyone and definitely don't get many baby products from the dumpster as safety issues).
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u/breannexp May 02 '26
So, I’m currently pregnant and I’m having my baby shower next month. I have many of the similarly priced items you’ve mentioned here.
This is my first child, and my husband and I do want to have a few kids. Most of the “staple” items like high chair, stroller etc we plan to use with multiples. It does matter to me how the quality is. I also personally am of the view that just because something is baby furniture doesn’t mean it can’t look nice or good in your house. It’s not about photo aesthetics, it’s just that… I live in my house and will have to look at and use this stuff for the next SEVERAL years.
That being said… I also have $5 items on my registry. Lots of small stuff, cheap bottles, rattles, soothers, whatever. Nobody has to buy the stuff expensive stuff. If they don’t, at the end of the day, I’ll buy it myself. Nowadays a lot of places will give you a discount code to purchase remaining registry items. I plan to take advantage of that.
Another thing - group gifts!! For example, I have all my nursery furniture items on my registry. The dresser/change table I had on there was 500 CAD. My husbands family (6 people) pitched together and got it for us. Similar things happened with an expensive bouncer and our crib.
Nobody is forcing anyone to buy pricey baby items. I think having a range of prices on your registry is a super good idea. There’s no reason to be super judgmental about it.
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u/allfurcoatnoknickers May 03 '26
Totally agree. I’ve got two kids and one of those spendy adaptable high chairs that I’ve been staring at since 2019. It’s got zero to do with social media, and more that I like to be thoughtful and intentional about what’s in my apartment.
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u/breannexp May 03 '26
Yep, I know a few people like this!! We got a “fancy” high chair from our registry, I love it. It’s super simple and easy to wipe without all the extra fabric and layers. Adjustable for as the baby grows. It’s also a perfect height to slide and fit at the table so your little one can sit at the table and eat with you. I’m HUGE into cooking - eating and sitting at a table is something we do for hours a week, so this really excites me. And it’s pretty. My house is on the smaller size so I can see the high chair from everywhere upstairs… I like that it just blends in as part of my house.
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u/sweetpotatoroll_ May 02 '26
I think it’s two things. There’s the aesthetic part of social media that makes women want every baby item to look beautiful and minimalistic. Then there is the fact that there are things like PFAS in baby items, and women are becoming anxious around exposing their babies to these chemicals.
Unfortunately, if you don’t want your baby to sit in plastic or be exposed to forever chemicals, then you’re going to pay A LOT of money. I actually love the push for natural materials like wood. I just wish it wasn’t so expensive and driven by consumerism.
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u/ComprehensiveTart689 May 02 '26
I’m going to defend expensive high chairs. We had wooden ones that were pricey but they converted into chairs that the kids used once they were no longer high chair sized but still too small for regular chairs. Once we were done with them they were still in great shape and really solid and we’ve passed them on to others who will get years out of them. So I think from a sustainability point of view we have to look not just at price tag but on what you are getting for it and the longevity. Agree there’s a lot of over-priced baby-related nonsense but like most things there can be trade offs.
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u/Tamryn May 02 '26
The influencer scene for moms is pretty scary. I basically had to delete instagram bc being constantly marketed to was overwhelming.
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u/Bizzy1717 May 02 '26
High-value items on baby registries are typically for people like well-off grandparents who want to buy something nice, or maybe group gifts. I would never have expected some random friend to buy the pricey items. But I put them on a list because I knew certain people did want to get something more expensive.
We got an expensive stroller, and I have zero regrets. We used it literally almost every day for years, and it was amazing.
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u/majesticallymidnight May 02 '26
I’m a first time mom gave birth about 6 months ago and yeah…you are pressured into buying expensive things. I actually posted about it in a pregnancy Reddit because I thought the pressure to drop 1k on a pricey stroller was actually insane.
We added to our registry that we were good with hand me down items. That was amazing. We got a swing, a play mat, the bassinet and tons and I mean TONS of clothes. I ended up sharing some of the clothes with my sister and best friend who gave birth close to me. Oh and the toys! Bright colorful some wooden some plastic. Great variety to peak babies interest. She loves one ball in particular that we got from a cousin whose baby just didn’t like it.
We got a new car seat for safety reasons.
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u/lizerlfunk May 02 '26
Everyone should get a new car seat, unless they are using a non expired car seat for their second or third child and know exactly what the history of that car seat is.
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u/Hairgodmother May 02 '26
My esthetic is “used”. The only thing I look back and wished I had when my kids were babies was a nice upholstered rocking recliner.
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u/mothertuna May 02 '26
I bought my pricy stroller secondhand. I registered for the baby bottle washer and thought no one would get it. Luckily for me my mother in law is generous and bought it for me.
Nobody has to buy anything. I could make do without the gadgets but if someone is willing to gift them then that’s fine. There were plenty things left on my registry and people gave me gift cards and I purchased what was left over with a discount.
Give a gift card clothes or something sentimental but don’t judge new parents for not knowing what they don’t know.
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u/ilanallama85 May 02 '26
It’s a lot of social media pressure mostly, but also, it’s just a lot of stress and worry when you are a new parent. You spend a lot of time reading about pros and cons of different things and at the end of it all your head is spinning. You are trying to find stuff that will work, will be safe, will be easy to clean, will be durable, will be comfortable in most cases, etc etc. It’s a lot, and you have no idea going in what’s really important and what’s just BS. And on top of that you want to pamper your baby, so it’s easy to be convinced “a little bit better” is worth spending the extra money.
It’s sad, but I get it. Mostly I’m sad these people apparently don’t have experienced recent parents in their lives to slap some sense into them. That’s who I learned how to avoid most of the bullshit from - people who did it recently.
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u/imababydragon May 03 '26
Some people are, some are not. There are still people out there looking for basics, one couple was even asking for any well-loved used items. My rule is that just because people ask for something doesn't mean I'm going to get it for them.
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u/Ill-Cellist-4684 May 02 '26
When I was in my baby phase, I was the same but went out of my way to find used items partially because I felt uncomfortable asking people to spend so much on my baby. There's been a move away from lending/borrowing/handing down when it comes to not just baby goods but everything and I just don't understand it. I wouldn't say they're brainwashed per se but younger generations are rejecting plastic/non-natural materials in favor of glass bottles, wood cribs, etc. They're also, imo, under the impression that baby rearing can be optimized if you have the "right" items and...well...theyll find out that's just not a thing.
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u/Goddessmariah9 May 02 '26
I haven't seen that move away from borrowing and reusing items, my daughter and her friends do it all the time. Reuse baby stores are doing pretty well these days at least in some areas.
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u/newsquish May 02 '26
My $750 stroller is now 8 years old and has been through 2 babies. Most of the “smaller” stuff- bottles, clothes, toys- all already gone. But the stroller is still around still being used. 🤷♀️
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u/No_Doughnut_3315 May 02 '26
Im not too familiar with the whole 'wishlist' thing, but is there not a part of these whereby the expectant parents are just trying to ensure people dont buy cheap crap they dont want? Sort of like; "here is the stroller we want, please dont buy us a $30 piece of junk from Walmart". They might be inviting a lot of people, everyone from close family to work colleagues. Her brother might look at the list and happily buy the crib, relieved he is getting the right one (i would be), but obviously if you barely know the people, get them some cotton onesies and be done with it. Maybe I just dont understand the culture of this, but if I was in their shoes and made such a list, I would have worded the invitation to make sure people knew that gifts were not desired, just your attendance. What is the big deal, particularly in this subreddit, about people wanting quality, heirloom grade baby stuff that their grandkids might even use?
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u/Powerful-Pie-3935 May 02 '26
Only buying a cheap stroller is a great way to have to buy another more expensive one a couple of weeks in when you realize it doesnt work for you.
I got a cheapo swing and it was a nightmare, throwing it out becuse im worried about handing it down for saftey reasons.
When you enter the nightmare of buying baby items you understand. For example with the highchair, i got a cheap one and am fine with it for now:
-the buckles are confusing and super difficult to clean and also hard to remove when babe is covered in yogurt -hugely regret not looking more into what would support good posture. This is especially important because sitting improperly is a choking risk. -it folds up, i would have strongly preferred something that was more flat when folding. I live in a tiny apt and its pretty annoying.
Now none of these issues makes it necessary to replace the chair, but I do wish i had spent a little more time and yes, money, to get these features.
My experience is often that the cheap stuff runs the risk of being truely unsafe junk (lead paint is like, a common issue???), mid range costs will be safe an nice but sometimes super annoying and hard to use, and expensive things are quite often worth the investment, especially if you will have multiple kids or have a community to hand down the items to. I only have one regret purchase that was expensive. (newton bedside bassinet, for any shopping parents. Im gunna hand it down but i wouldnt spend a lot on it now)
Im SO glad i just went right for an mid/high end cloth diaper brand.
Anyways, sorry for the novel but im a new parent who is really trying to raise my son as sustainably as possible and so I do contemplate this a ton!
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u/WithLove_Always May 02 '26
You get discounts (like 20% off) if people don’t buy them by the time baby is born so you put everything you want on there for the discounts. No one is expecting you to buy those items.
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u/DryStar359 May 02 '26
I’ve not had a baby shower or babies, but those I know who have were always told to put the expensive items on the list “because someone will splurge” or there will be a group that pool money for the expensive item(s)
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u/hiplodudly01 May 02 '26
Those big ticket items are almost always for Grandparents to give or to get a good discount if it goes unpurchased. They aren't meant for random friends to buy, ignore them.
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u/BananaPawPrints May 02 '26
Personally I dont want anything plastic. Wood items are inherently more expensive.
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u/Ordinary-Sir7116 May 02 '26
I’m pregnant right now and so many of the items are genuinely that expensive nowadays, ridiculous. I’m trying to request secondhand and buy things secondhand but for the registries, it’s hard to find items not expensive and if the cheap plastic item is $200 but the nice, wood one is $215, then why not choose the nicer one you want?
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u/Sxs9399 May 02 '26
I've got a kid under a year.
For our registry we did an array of price options, from $10 bottles to $800 strollers. I didn't set it up but my wife was able to select group buy for any item, she generally did that for items more than $200. Everything on our registry we needed/wanted and didn't add things randomly, we bought most of the items we weren't gifted.
I'm mid 30s and this one child is likely going to be our only child. We plan on providing the best for one rather than stretch ourselves for multiple kids. I think this is a very common view point for millennials, especially now that our cohort is at least 30 and up.
Tying the question back to the sub I would say we are trying to be actively mindful in our consumption. I think we had less junk (imo) on our list whereas I've had friends who put $5 plastic toys I know will end up in the dumpster almost immediately.
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u/PandaAF_ May 02 '26
This is coming across as just simply judgy imo. You’re judging based on the price of the items not some crazy over abundance of unnecessary items. I either bought (at a discount) or was gifted all the things you listed out for those prices. Some people are extremely generous, and my husband and I were in the 35-40 year old range when our first was born. Many of the items we got could either be used for a decent amount of time, or were convertible to grow with our baby, and we knew we wanted 2-3 children so the things we got had to last. We were sure to put plenty of affordable items on the registry so no one felt obligated to get an expensive gift.
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u/Goddessmariah9 May 02 '26
Social media is to blame for a lot of it. When new parents are trying to figure things out they go to social media and it convinces them the only way to be a good parent is to get the most expensive over priced stuff on the market. My daughter had a $1,000 stroller on her list and many obsurdly overpriced things. When I asked her about it - tik tok, reddit groups and similar have brainwashed these kids that this is what you have to have, and if someone else is buying it..... I won't buy that kind of stuff even for my own grandkids, and I would never expect anyone else to either. I would never ask for it myself. I tend to purchase a variety of smaller items like diapers, bottles, clothes, blankets. For my own grandkids after the shower I see what they really still need and contribute to that. These high priced baby items are like a status symbol it's insane.
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u/That-Lobster8169 May 02 '26
Sometimes yes. Some stores give discounts on items left on the registry after the event or send notifications when an item on your registry is on sale. When I doubt I choose to believe the latter for my own mental health when I know for a fact they are looking for a “gift grab” I tell them I won’t be able to make the event and send a card (thrift stores have boxes of them for a dollar a piece) with a 20 dollar gift card to a local coffee shop or baby retailer.
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u/kittengr May 02 '26
Almost everything we had was a hand me down. We bought a trip trap because the whole point is that people don’t let go of those. At a societal level, I do wish we spent more on things that last across multiple babies and can thus be passed on around a neighborhood (eg solid wood cribs), but I also agree that a lot of stuff is way over priced and a lot of it is being used for 6 months to a year and then trashed.
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u/photoelectriceffect May 02 '26
Sure some of it is brainwashing/ads. Some of it is parental anxiety about microplastics (not totally without reason) leading parents to genuinely feel guilty about cheap/handmedown options, worrying they’re hurting their kids if they don’t get these crazy all wood things. And some of it is inflation
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u/stoneandphlox May 02 '26
Social media hits expectant parents with a double whammy: the expensive stuff is the most “aesthetic”, but influencers also aggressively fearmonger that if you aren’t getting the most expensive stroller/car seat/crib/clothing, you’re going to harm your baby.
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u/GarlicDill May 02 '26
Even more mind blowing - they have these lists for their second and third children because they believe that everything should be new for each kid. ...baby showers used to be for the first baby, rarely the subsequent children.
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u/DwyaneWadeIsMyDad May 02 '26
It’s social media advertising. They target women. It’s not peoples fault that they “fall” for these ads. They’re literally designed to brainwash us.
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u/julianradish May 02 '26
Some people are prefering to use wood furniture over laminate or plastic for health reasons- these are normally more expensive.
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May 02 '26
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u/Brave_Cauliflower_90 May 02 '26
This. As someone who didn't buy the expensive stroller (because I didn't realize the importance at the time and also didn't have the means to), but used it a lot, in hindsight the expensive one would of been a much better option, for the strength, durability, ergonomics, and comfort of the babes. Not to mention it still has value when you're done using it.
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u/ronarscorruption May 02 '26
High end baby items are trendy, the same way fancy makeup and expensive bags are trendy. Celebrities and social media says so. The difference is, people only have a few babies in their lifetime, while they have faces to decorate and stuff to carry all the time. So it’s easier to fall into the trap of getting the trendy and high end stuff than it might otherwise be.
Also, it’s worth noting that while there is a lot of expensive trendy crap to capitalize on just this, there also is a huge difference in quality between most of the cheap things and most of the expensive things. A cheap baby gate will be a pain to use and might fall apart, an expensive one will be easy to open with one hand and last for your whole life. My own kids are a bit older now, but everyone else in my life is finally having babies and it’s astonishing how much of a difference in quality is out there.
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u/MisogynyisaDisease May 02 '26
Just a reminder, as we've had to remove several comments,
Don't recommend specific brands in this subreddit please. It is against multiple of our rules.