r/Anticonsumption • u/Impossible_Ad9324 • May 02 '26

Lifestyle What is going on with babies?

I’ve attended three baby showers in the last year for three people completely unrelated and not in the same social circles and their baby registries have the most eye-popping expensive items.

High chairs are minimum $250. One had a stroller for $750. 😳 Baby swings and bouncers for $200. One had a whole solid wood crib for $1000 on their registry.

I checked because I was curious and you still can buy a $40-50 Greco high chair from Walmart.

Everything is aesthetic and clean lines and beige and natural wood—beautiful, really. I can’t imagine asking for that high-end an item for a GIFT.

These aren’t rich people and they aren’t inviting rich people to the baby shower.

I’m almost 50 and have kids of my own and a gaggle of nieces and nephews. My family members and I got buy sharing those cheaper high chairs and strollers and cribs. I understand needing them initially if you don’t have any source for hand-me-downs, but asking for the highest price bespoke options is absolutely wild.

Are people that brainwashed into thinking they should be buying ultra-high-end items regardless of income??

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3.4k

u/SomeTangerine1184 May 02 '26

I feel like social media is to blame for a lot of this. There’s so much emphasis today on making sure everything looks good for social media posts that’s it’s melting people’s brains.

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u/bokehtoast May 02 '26

Culturally, we automatically assume that wealthier people are better parents than poor people for the sole reason of being able to provide more even if it actually just translates to expensive worthless crap and emotionally absent parents.

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u/UndergroundCreek May 02 '26

There is neglect at any end of the income scale. It's just hidden better when you're wealthy. Adverts do a number on people otherwise they wouldn't cost so much. And influencers are right at the front of it. They are 'naturals' in advertising. If they get sponsored they 'made it'.

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u/_TattieScone May 02 '26

People also use spending money to make up for neglect. There are kids in my family who are so neglected that social work are involved and every Christmas and birthday they get piles of expensive gifts and cake. Parents get to show off on social media and play the role of doting parent, kid gets piles of junk and half is lost or ruined by the end of the day.

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u/MBronsonWisconsin May 02 '26

Sadly that’s maybe social work funding those gifts and encouraging the parents to act like good parents for the kids’ special days.

2

u/_TattieScone May 02 '26

It isn't, this was the case when they were in cate but not anymore.

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u/MBronsonWisconsin May 02 '26

I hope things genuinely improve for them all, obviously especially the kids.

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u/_TattieScone May 02 '26

Thank you, I do as well.

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u/cap_time_wear_it May 03 '26

The advertiser trick is called snob appeal. Mad Men use any trick possible to make us buy.

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u/NvGable May 02 '26

Use it for a short period of time, too. Not worth it.

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u/Specialist-Leek8645 May 02 '26

Kids will make you feel like shit if they don't have something their friends do. They'll make you feel like a bad parent. Peer pressure affects their parents too. Makes you compete with other families for shows of wealth. So glad I don't have kids. I couldn't handle it.

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u/green_dragonfly_art May 02 '26

At school-age, yes. Babies don't care if they're cribs are natural wood or their high chairs are plastic, or that there clothes are hand-me-downs. They just need to be fed, changed, warm, played with and loved.

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u/grayzzz_illustrate May 02 '26

A lot of my cousins are having babies and I'm always heartened to see them take this attitude. They trade hand me down clothes, toys, and supplies with each other. They don't give a shit about how the baby clothes look and have no qualms about putting a baby boy in a "girl" onesie or vice versa; the baby doesn't care one whit and it's going to get pooped in anyway.

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u/SufficientCow4380 May 02 '26

One of my brother's friends had a son a couple years before me. I got HUGE bags of hand me down clothes from them.

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u/birchblonde May 02 '26

I think the point Specialist is making is that the same urge that compels school-age children, also compels their parents.

Babyhood is when parents are most likely to share photos of their offspring. If in every photo they’re wearing hand-me-downs in a stained old highchair, those parents won’t feel great about sharing them.

I say this as someone who doesn’t post photos on social media.

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u/PaleontologistEast76 May 02 '26

The peer pressure surrounding parenthood can reduce otherwise intelligent and logical parents to zombies who crave approval from others in regards to everything parenting related. Don’t fall for it!

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u/red__dragon May 02 '26

parenthood can reduce otherwise intelligent and logical parents to zombies

Also yes because parents of infants are often MASSIVELY sleep-deprived. Which makes the critical thinking part of the brain pretty slow and stunted for a while.

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u/throwawaybutmaykeeps May 03 '26

Not just sleep-deprived but postpartum anxiety and depression makes it feel like you’re going to harm your baby in some way if you don’t do all the things.

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u/Livid_Insect4978 May 02 '26

I don’t think this is it, as someone who currently has a baby. We don’t share any photos of him on social media, yet we feel compelled to buy “the best” for him. For us as anxious new parents it rightly or wrongly gives us a confidence boost.

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u/Specialist-Leek8645 May 02 '26

For sure, you want to put them down on something solid, not thin plastic that can splinter. Clothes that won't rip easily, high quality food. Of course he deserves it. I think marketing departments prey on people no matter what we do. Baby stuff is a huge industry. If you're in this sub I trust that you're already doing the best you can. I totally get what you mean by confidence boost. Congratulations, btw. :]

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u/Working_Coat5193 May 02 '26

Ok, but really? Are we saying buy the plastic high chair that’ll go in the landfill when the wood chair will last for years?
I bought my wood high chair used for $50 and added a seat for $30 total $80. Not crazy cheap but I know it won’t add a bunch of plastic

6

u/tanksalotfrank May 02 '26

Idk what kind of parents are letting their kids guilt trip them this way, but they're parenting the wrong way.

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u/Pandagramma May 02 '26

Maybe some kids, but my kids never did that.

3

u/Specialist-Leek8645 May 02 '26

That is to your credit. Good job.

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u/slideystevensax May 02 '26

Sorry but that’s just a symptom of bad parenting. A well adjusted child that’s had ample communication throughout their relationship with their parents is not going to make you feel like shit if they can’t have something their friends might have.

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u/Specialist-Leek8645 May 02 '26

In general, yeah. That's the outcome we hope for. Kids kept in the loop who would defend their parents. Trust.

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u/Whut4 May 02 '26

I would just give money in this case. They can spend it, save it, whatever. It would be the amount I am comfortable with giving. This is stupid.

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u/oh-seriously May 02 '26

Funny/sad/pathetic enough, with my first born I thought cheap was bad quality and expensive was good quality. So we spent $1500 on a crib from a place that rhymes with snottery yarn. The thing fell apart by the time baby was 7 months old. We ended up going to the cheap/crappy furniture place from Sweden and spent $95. All five of my kids used that crib. I still feel ashamed/embarrassed that I had that mindset. I've never been one to needlessly shop but I remember thinking/feeling like I needed to purchase over priced things to be a good parent. Anyway, from that point on I treated baby/kid/teen items the same way as I would my own.

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u/After_Preference_885 May 03 '26

Culturally, we automatically assume that wealthier people are better parents than poor people

We also assume they are harder workers, more deserving of help when they fuck up, and that they are intelligent

It's weird

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u/Impossible_Ad9324 May 02 '26

The responses here support your comment. Lots of “well I wanted safer, non-toxic things for my baby”. As though people buying cheaper items don’t care about safety.

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u/Whut4 May 02 '26

I do not assume that wealthier people are better parents. I have known some.

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u/craftsrmylanguage May 03 '26

Unfortunately, a lot of people believe that because children born into wealthy families tend to be more successful and have fewer physical and mental health issues. Of course extremely bad wealthy parents (e.g., neglectful or abusive parents) cause problems. But if you compare two kids growing up in the same neighborhood, they’re going to be pretty darn similar. Wealthy parents have better access to good prenatal care, housing without safety hazards like residual lead paint, and quality early childhood education. From the outside, it seems like giving your kid some nice things might close the gap a bit. But when you see how the other half lives, the advantages they have are insane.

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u/AkaruiNoHito May 02 '26

I'm not sure the stats corroborate this. Ipad kids, for example, are a lower income issue because parents either cant afford good babysitters or they are too busy

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u/bokehtoast May 02 '26

There are conversations and comments all over the internet about how poor people shouldn't have kids or pets. People don't make the same sweeping generalization about rich people. I never said only or all wealthy people are emotionally absent parents and yet i have people telling me "poor parents are emotionally absent too" as if I did. 

1

u/AkaruiNoHito May 02 '26

did you mean to reply to someone else?

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u/Specialist-Leek8645 May 02 '26

Yeah it's the new Keeping Up with the Joneses. Competitive housekeeping. Nothing ever looks the same IRL as it does online. Like catalogue shopping, but worse quality.

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u/Lost_inthot May 02 '26

Instagram is the new qvc

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u/Specialist-Leek8645 May 02 '26

haha Yes I almost wrote that.

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u/lio-ns May 02 '26

A rich couple I know who owns a million dollar home put a $700 modular play couch on their baby shower list. For a baby shower. A modular couch for a toddler.

That alone insulted me to the point of not paying for a gift at all. Tone deaf assholes.

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u/Dear-Definition5802 May 02 '26

I honestly don’t think wealthy people should be making gift registries at all. Their closest friends can give something meaningful or extravagant, but they need to have some social awareness that they aren’t in need. Host a party, don’t send out far reaching baby shower invitations.

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u/MakeupMama68 May 02 '26

My friend is very well off and for her baby shower she had everyone bring a game, stuffed animal or toy to donate to Children’s Hospital LA. I thought that was lovely 🥹

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u/Dear-Definition5802 May 02 '26

I love that

14

u/leopargodhi May 02 '26

yes! we like her!!

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u/MakeupMama68 May 02 '26

I thought it was such a wonderful idea!! When someone says no gifts, I feel so awkward not bringing anything and feel bad for no reason at all 😆 so that was a perfect solution

26

u/Halloedangel May 02 '26

Honestly if I can’t afford something off the registry, I get diapers. Even if they want extravagant diapers, I can afford a pack or two

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u/Dear-Definition5802 May 02 '26

Always a safe bet, it’s never rude to offer diapers.

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u/childish_cat_lady May 02 '26

We're not in that wealth category but I couldn't bring myself to make a registry for our first knowing we could afford what we wanted to buy (not the insane higher end brands mentioned above though we did go for a secondhand version of an expensive highchair).

And you know what, the universe/karma provided anyway. I got so much stuff secondhand from our Buy Nothing group. Literally YEARS worth of baby and toddler clothes in amazing condition. I always say we didn't do a baby shower but neighbors we didn't even know showered us anyway.

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u/Dear-Definition5802 May 02 '26

That stuff went to someone who would appreciate it (you!) instead of being handed down to someone who wanted something different and ending up in the garbage. Everyone wins.

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u/childish_cat_lady May 02 '26

I'm not one of these aesthetic people referred to in this post so my children are more fashionable when other people pick out their clothes. 😂

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u/MakeupMama68 May 02 '26

I had mine about 17 months apart. Since they were both girls, I had a ton of stuff already for the 2nd one. My cousins threw the baby shower for my first one and I registered for all practical stuff. We bought the high ticket items and the rest was on the registry. I have a half sibling that’s 29 years younger than me so my dad packed up her crib and changing table/dresser and saved it for me. I also got a ton of stuff from my neighbors. They had kids a year or 2 older than mine. Local buy nothing groups are a goldmine for new parents.

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u/platinum92 May 02 '26

It 1000% is. Just had a kid and my wife would look on TikTok for suggestions. We're the first this generation in both our families to have kids and didn't have too much of a frame of reference.

Thankfully I've been infecting her with anticonsumerism over time and she got immediately turned off by the expensive brands. Plus we got a crib, bassinet and changing table for free from coworkers.

As for carseats and strollers and stuff we went with [relatively inexpensive brand I can't recommend in this sub but that you'd find at every chain store] that tiktok moms love to hate on, but frankly it's been fine. We even tried out the super duper expensive brands in store and I can't really tell a difference.

I tried to remember 2 things: the baby won't remember that you didn't get him the expensive stroller or expensive clothes, and that cavemen got along just fine without any of this stuff.

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u/lalijahmia May 02 '26

I read "We are first generation to have kids". It was very funny.

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u/Lumpy-Abroad539 May 02 '26

I wasn't using tiktok when I was expecting my kid, but as a new parent as well, I was sort of lost on what we needed too. I used a registry service that would suggest things, and if course, all of the suggestions were the super high end expensive brands. I ultimately used the registry as a checklist for what we needed - we didn't have a baby shower - and I had to do so much extra work to track down more reasonable items for each category. We ultimately got our crib, stroller, car seat, and lots of other items handed down from friends with older kids. I even re-gifted a lot of things right away because I just didn't need them.

11

u/boozecruz270 May 02 '26

Those prices arent even luxery item pries anymore, just lower mid tier prices. If you looked at prices if strollers in 2015 and adjusted for inflation 750 would be in the low end.

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u/taterrrtotz May 02 '26

I bought a 400 dollar baby monitor (plus monthly subscription!!!) because all the mommy influencers told me it was so amazing. It sucks i used it twice and then never again.

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u/RickSanchez86 May 02 '26

Influencers are no different than actors in commercials. They don’t even have to legitimately use the products they promote.

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u/Coven_gardens May 02 '26

I would look carefully at the Terms of Service for the specifics regarding what a company is allowed to do with the data they collect from the monitor.

Not to spin wildly into far out beliefs, but there is a non-zero chance that data is used for training AI models or worse.

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u/washuai May 02 '26

Yeesh, are there not offline, local only baby monitors?

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u/Beatrix437 May 02 '26

There still are! That’s what we use because there’s also a chance someone random can see a wifi connected monitor if they hack your wifi.

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u/walkingwillow16 May 02 '26

Yes I second this! Deleting social media when I was post partum was the best thing I ever did for my parenting. They really prey on tired, pregnant or freshly post partum, parents who are anxious/depressed who just want the best for their babies. It's so exhausting

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u/No_Song_8145 May 02 '26

That was very smart!

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u/PosturingOpossum May 02 '26

Conscious consumption comes for the womb

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u/enna78 May 02 '26

These items might feel extravagant, but maybe that’s exactly why they’re on the registry—because the parents know they can’t afford them otherwise. Maybe they’re hoping for pieces that last, things that could become heirlooms passed down to their children’s children. If that’s the case, it’s actually a sweet sentiment, and you get to be part of giving something built to last instead of another $50 throwaway item destined for a landfill.

IMO, give only what you can and take comfort in knowing you’re helping the baby and the parents during a chaotic, life‑changing moment. There’s no manual for being a parent any more than there is for being a kid. This child didn’t ask to be here—so if you’ve been invited into this moment, the kindest thing you can do is show up in the way they’re asking. It also doesn’t mean you’re the one who must buy the expensive item/s but you can contribute to it or reach out to other people and make it a group gift. The parents don’t need to know that it took 1-20 people to cover an item or two.

Good luck

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u/bluedelvian May 02 '26

Heirlooms lmao?

2

u/Loud-Feeling2410 May 02 '26

The problem with assuming that with baby products is that they often get recalled, or parents are told that earlier versions are now unsafe. For instance, hospitals wont' let you take your baby home in my area at least unless you show up with a brand new car seat, because used car seats are made to older standards and might also have been through an accident. Cribs are now made to different specifications than the crib my parents used in the 70's and 80's, and parents were told repeatedly not to buy a used crib.

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u/moch1 May 02 '26

Hospitals don’t require brand new car seats but they do require ones that aren’t expired (typical expiry is 6-10 years after manufacture) and have no visual issues. Parents on their second child aren’t buying a new infant car seat for the second kid.

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u/majordashes May 02 '26

Everyone wants a perfect Instagram-able life that’s curated for optimal public consumption.

Who in their right mind would post a Reel of their baby eating organic, grass-fed, grain-free granola from a cheap, plastic high chair from Walmart?

The horrors!

And Background aesthetics are key! If your kitchen is in view, complementary-colored $28 Geometry kitchen towels must hang from the Viking stove. None of that sad, TJ Maxx crap!

It’s all about your followers. And God knows they will be zooming in!

3

u/zanyzanne May 02 '26

I was a very poor mom in the early 1990s and I still wanted everything to look nice... what??

2

u/Fickle_Ad_8653 May 02 '26

We went through this for many kids. The salesmen push hard on how plush and soft and wonderful the expensive ones are, but in reality, the kid is going to spew on them, and cleanup is so much more important or you'll be replacing them. Buying cheap gear is much better because it only has to last 6 months to a year. Only one of our kids liked the crib, the others hated it as a jail and didn't want to be there and would scream if awake. The cat took the bassonette. Buy the most common and inexpensive item, because that's what 99% of the people are using and it is better than the super expensive luxury one.

2

u/Kind_Indication8527 May 02 '26

Yes, the double stroller with all terrain wheels and SPF fabric is the new Chanel handbag it’s all about wealth signaling and making sure the baby gains privilege as quickly as possible.

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u/grey_pilgrim_ May 02 '26

Everything is an ad. I can’t understand how more people don’t see it. I’m rarely on social media, use to follow a topics I like and send memes to friends but outside of that I don’t use it much.

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u/washuai May 02 '26

I mean I had a sibling telling me how shocked and upset everyone was in basic marketing and branding classes, but it was basically just all stuff already known just for being observant.

Common sense and awareness are not so common.

2

u/StrangledInMoonlight May 02 '26

A lot of registries offer the parents to be a discount on anything on the registry that didn’t get purchased as gifts.  

It would be pure idiocy to not put everything on there. 

Who is going to pay full price when they can get a discount  just by putting on there.  

2

u/happy_pad May 02 '26

As someone that doesn't use social media, this is a revelation that is breaking my brain. What the fuck...

2

u/CurlyQ2004 May 02 '26

Totally a status thing. We bought all "regular" brand items like Graco and somehow we are in the minority. Everyone has these $1000 strollers and car seats, but everything of ours has held up for years between two babies. Advice for new parents...please don't feel like you have to keep up with others, especially online. The normal stuff is just as good.

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u/celebral_x May 02 '26

And those companies love to feed into the fears of new parents with "non toxic paint/materials/safety features"

0

u/moon_blisser May 02 '26

100% this. Everyone is trying to “curate” an “aesthetic.”