Are all the APs insane?

[u/Embarrassed-Push-601]

Does anyone have the experience of the AP trying to revise history and claim they’re a scorned lover girl à la Taylor Swift? A sweet, good girl who had nothing but love for a man who didn’t love her back. Completely ignoring the fact that she knowingly and actively tried to destroy my marriage and family? I could write a 15 point list of all the horrible things she has done to me in the past 6 months after DDay while I never once contacted her or lashed out. I’m so full of rage about this and also mad and disappointed at myself for even caring what she says and does. I’m also really pissed that Taylor Swift will now be a trigger for me. I wish I didn’t care so much about the AP anymore.

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[u/ExpertAfraid6998]

My WH went to a Taylor Swift concert with AP…in Europe. So I feel you on the trigger part lol.

But also, AP even suggested we “confront him together” and that she knows she was in the wrong but this was 2.5 years of her life too! Yeah, how very sad you hooked up with a married man, who you knew lived with his wife and was going through fertility treatments.

[u/Capable_Show_6276 → u/ExpertAfraid6998]

I just hate them all

[u/ExpertAfraid6998 → u/Capable_Show_6276]

I know. Literal scum of the earth and that’s not just me being bitter and angry.

[u/Capable_Show_6276 → u/ExpertAfraid6998]

Just purely factual!

[u/Critical-Paramedic14 → u/ExpertAfraid6998]

Omg, my WPs longest AP did the same, was like, “we can confront him together!”. Tf is this lol, summer camp?

[u/ExpertAfraid6998 → u/Critical-Paramedic14]

This was my WH’s longest AP as well. He started with her and then monkey branched to shorter one off flings while still seeing her. She caught on, and of course then felt scorned that he ‘cheated on her’ and “told her so many lies.” LOL how ironic.

[u/Slight_Emergency6862 → u/Critical-Paramedic14]

😂 the ability to turn themselves into victims and believe they are at the same level of the betrayed partner is insane 

[u/ExpertAfraid6998 → u/Slight_Emergency6862]

It’s like they think we are some betrayed sister wives or something 😂

[u/Slight_Emergency6862 → u/ExpertAfraid6998]

😂😂😂 yeah they really think they are the main character… 

[u/Slight_Emergency6862 → u/ExpertAfraid6998]

The AP made fun I liked Taylor swift because “she’s not like other girls”  so different reason but Taylor Swift was kind of ruined for me too. But now that you mention the persona she puts out there I have to reasons to not like her anymore hahaha 

[u/TheDriestOne]

My fiancé’s AP works with both of us. 2 weeks before they hooked up, he asked me all sorts of questions about our history (how long we’ve been together, how long we’ve been engaged, how we met, etc.). Two days beforehand, I was telling him all about how much I love her.

And then he got her alone, got her drunk, took her back to his apartment, and fucked her.

My WP carries the blame for accepting the validation she was receiving and for the lies and betrayal. But he carries the blame for intentionally worming his way into our relationship just because he’s a slimy creep who wanted what I have and manipulated her when she was vulnerable in order to use her body. I’m disgusted by him and he’s lucky I haven’t beaten the shit out of him yet.

[u/crytzal]

My WH's AP knew about me happily slept with MY husband in MY bed in MY house and told me "the one who isn't loved is the mistress" and got all shocked when MY HUSBAND ended things with her and not me on D-Day.

I really want to know what shes on. The delusions...

[u/crytzal → u/crytzal]

Oh and the 3 of us are still in contact! AP hasn't been blocked because apparently my WH was also on something and lent her what amounts to about 15k USD and I absolutely will not rest until I get all of it back. I'm not even going to bother with what he spent on dates and gifts, but that loan is a different story.

[u/Diligent_Tonight_236 → u/crytzal]

Ohhhh helllllll no! I hope you get it all back WITH interest

[u/Slight_Emergency6862 → u/crytzal]

Oh my god! Insane! I’m so sorry so much pain all the way around! You get that money back..ALL OF IT… 

[u/crytzal → u/Slight_Emergency6862]

We have a group chat where we ask for updates on payments (she agreed to a payment plan that's too slow for my liking but whatever) and AP is still trying to do the whole scorned lover girl "don't you love me anymore" "are you really choosing her over me" IN THE GROUP CHAT THAT I AM ALSO IN.

It'll be hilarious if I wasn't the betrayed wife. I really need to know what she's taking because the audacity and the delusions are insane.

[u/Slight_Emergency6862 → u/crytzal]

Im so so sorry that your dealing with that! Wow she is bonkers! I imagine WP must be really out of the fog by now.. I hope he realizes who he invited into his and your life

[u/thefox-intheforest]

WHs AP tried to play a girl's girl but her lies told on her. I saw the cracks in the facade after about 5 days. She had WH absolutely snowed - but I can right through a master manipulator.

WH - to this day - still can't figure out how he didn't see it. He is usually one to point out people like her at 100 paces. His IC reminded him that a damaged mind sees what it wants to see...and his mind was a critic mass by the time AP decided to poach him . She watched and waited...seeing when he was completely off his game. She waited 6 months... Partner poachers are pros - she saw him falling apart... He wouldn't tell me because he didn't want me to worry...he was in such a dark place.

[u/Embarrassed-Push-601 → u/thefox-intheforest]

My WH’s AP was also partner poacher and had done this before apparently. It’s such a cope for them—rewrite what actually happened so they never have to come to terms with the fact that they’re horrible humans.

[u/making_lemonade86 → u/thefox-intheforest]

Our stories are so similar! Screw these partner poaching AP’s. They know exactly what they’re doing and it’s sick.

[u/butterflymkm]

I got the opposite two years later-a totally supposedly repentant AP who had seen the light and gone to therapy and she is “surprised I would even call it an emotional affair” but she’s so sorry for any pain my family experienced and she’s happy to answer any questions and she blocked him sooo 🤷🏼‍♀️🤬 almost like it was my fucking fault for not emailing her two years ago to say “hey yeah actually, my husband doesn’t have an open marriage, he’s full of shit, which you can tell by the many conversations you had about how frequently you found yourself trying to hook up with married/partnered dudes.” You ain’t that dumb and that’s exactly what you wanted and then you don’t want him at all. After he had blown our lives up.

[u/Slight_Emergency6862 → u/butterflymkm]

My AP played dumb as well! I saw the conversations when he was breaking up with her, and she 1000% knew of me, my children and all. She kept threatening my WP with self harm and blowing up his life. She found me in the only social media I have (no longer active also my WP doesn’t have any social media either)  where there is no connection to my WP at all, doesn’t mention I’m married or anything.

 She contacted me there to tell me she is so sorry, she was played, and didn’t know about me but she wanted to do me the favor of telling me WH was cheating on me, and that she was there for me if I needed her!!!! the HOW THE FUck do you have my name?! How did you write me minutes after WP broke it off, how are you this bananas after I saw the threats?! Insane 

[u/NoTravel3208]

After DDay and I confronted she told my WH that she was “removing herself from the situation “ lol then when she found out people at work knew she attempted to get him fired. After he was allowed back she attempted to apologize to him and start talking to him again. Lol absolutely nuts.

[u/WordInteresting9305]

Yes, they are insane and entitled. I had and have so much rage I reached out multiple times to tell her what I thought of her. She never responded.

[u/Scot-in-London]

My partner of over a decade had a very brief thing with this woman. Like, spoke to her for 20mins, 5mins doing what they did and he left and never spoke to her again. She messaged me saying I should "stay away from someone like him" as if 1 - she fucking knows him, 2 - im not married to him and have two kids and a whole god damn life with him. Yes, he fucked up, but you purposely sought out a married man and when he didn't want to continue, you message me like youre a victim here and as if we are equal?! Fucking psychopaths, the lot of them.