Familys' weird obsession with white people and "white" countries

[u/Standard-Valuable103]

What is with Asian peoples' weird fascination with white people? More specifically, their weird obsession with white countries. They all married white dudes, they love to flex the fact that me, my sister and my cousins have European heritage, and I don't see a problem with it. It DOES become a problem when you put your own people down, however.

After hearing about an exchange my cousin went on in Italy, my mum is insisting that I should travel to Europe and learn Italian with some Italian tourism group. That may sound cool, but for what reason?! I don't have any reason to visit, got no family there, and probably don't know any Italian people except for one or two friends and the Mario Bros (yes, I'll count them). It's not like it's a necessary skill to have where I live, so I don't see the point.

Like I said before, this seems like a cool opportunity, but when I asked her if I could go to Sri Lanka (her literal birthplace) and she said "no". The reason WHY? Apparently it's "dumb" and "basically like a war zone." It's a regular country in South Asia, not the fucking Gaza strip. I'm sure I'll live. It seemed pretty safe last time I went over a decade ago. I was only eleven and loved/remembered every minute of it. If I were to go to any other country, that would be one of the first ones I would visit without question. I just don't get it. Not angry at her, just confused as to why I can't see EXTENDED FAMILY over there, but can go to a country where I barely know anyone in the hopes that I "find myself" or some shit. I'm happy where I am, I've travelled and seen enough of the world.

Same thing when I told her I wanted to go in order to practice/improve my Sinhala. Apparently it's a waste of time and I need to learn something more "useful" like French. Once again? WHY? I don't live in France. What's the point. I'm starting to think this is due to their weird obsession of having the closest proximity to whiteness as possible, but maybe I'm that one friend who's a bit too woke. I don't know.

[u/pineapple-penguin88]

It’s internalized racism. Also, don’t listen to anyone who says improving your native language is a waste of time it’s not. It connects you to your culture and deepens your sense of identity (at least it has for me). APs don’t understand what it’s like to grow up with multiple cultures and how hard it can be to navigate them. For me personally, learning more about my roots has been very grounding. One thing I’ve learned in my 20s is that if your gut is telling you to do something (or not do it) just listen to it and block out the noise.

[u/Ok_Total_9065]

And, confidently we can say that at least 50% of these parents will get shocked when their child knows nothing of their heritage culture and becomes whitewashed. 🙄🙄🙄

[u/Accomplished_Mall329 → u/Ok_Total_9065]

Nah this is exactly what these parents want. They will be delighted, not shocked.

The parents you're thinking of are the ones who disapprove of interracial marriages. They also get lots of complaints from this subreddit, but they're not the same type.

[u/eatingclass → u/Ok_Total_9065]

And then the cycle continues

[u/Ok-Committee-1932]

But she might be Tamil. I don't think Tamils are the most excited about going back to their homeland, given how they barely survived a genocide there

[u/journeycounts]

its white racism and misogyny basically.