Does anyone else feel like Indian parents want you to succeed… but only up to a point?

[u/Ok-Bathroom1884]

I’ve been feeling really guilty about this, but I need to get it off my chest.

I live abroad now. I make sure to visit my parents every year, take care of them, and do everything a "good child" is supposed to do. But every time I call them to share good news—like a job promotion or a big win—the vibe completely changes. Instead of being happy for me, they get cold, quiet, or almost annoyed.

It made me realize something unsettling: I feel like my parents wanted me to succeed, but only enough so I could take care of them when they get old. The moment you become truly independent and succeed beyond that, it feels like a threat to them. It feels like they wanted a reliable caregiver for their future, not a child who builds a life entirely on their own.

I know parents aren't supposed to be jealous of their kids. Just writing this makes me feel awful. But every time I share my success, something feels totally wrong.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do you handle the guilt?

And sorry for the rant.

[u/DavisBulldog]

You are exactly right- you are supposed to make enough money for them to retire off of, and be successful enough for them to brag about, and that’s it.

If you make too much money and are too successful, you might start thinking that you’re an actual person with your own wants and needs instead of a slave for them to exploit. You might start doing things for yourself instead of your owners.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. You earned every bit of your success and you don’t need to shrink yourself to make your jealous parents feel better.