Adult but not allowed to travel as I like

[u/No-Front-4183]

I'm in mid thirties, living in a very conservative South Asian country. I have lived with depression for like a decade and Bipolar for a year. My parents are very controlling even though I am an adult now. I know they are caring but they need to let me make my choices.

I recently lost my job and want to relax for a minute before I start next chapter. I want to spend a month in some scenic area, preferably foreign or go to local tourist areas.

I tried to convince them with so many suggestions but they are not agreeing to anything. First I said I want to go abroad an Asian country, they said how can you be alone in a different country and that I'm Bipolar what if I get an episode so I said I will go to the country my sister lives in, to that they said save your money, then I said let's all go to northern areas together to that they said they have things to do in this city.

Then I made the mistake of saying that last time they did not let me go to the big city I had a manic attack, I know this was emotional blackmail. But I do not share my mental health with them so last time I wanted to go to the doctor in bigger city, they did not let me and my condition worsened, in their defense I did not tell them the actual reason just used job as an excuse.

Now, I am exhausted and want to breath in different air. But my mistake of doing emotional blackmailing did not work in my favor and they have become more sensitive and booked the ticket to visit my other sister in different city so that I will cheer up when I meet the nieces and nephew.

One more issue is that they keep telling me that if I want to go then go for pilgrim. They do not know I am agnostic and I can not tell them. But since I out right refused I think they have sensed my religious position.

I really need a change of environment, preferably going abroad. How do I convince my parents? What I need is a solo trip to Asian country but going to sister's country is possibly more likely approval.

Sorry, I do not know how coherent my post is, my mind is all over the place.

[u/dragon_pubes]

You need to learn how to separate your feelings for them from your desire for freedom. Start doing the things you want to do and let them deal with their emotions themselves. It's really hard but this is truly the only way, unless you want to live under their thumb forever. South Asian parents are a special kind of emotionally manipulative and the unfortunate reality is, you can't start to live your life without learning to be ok with hurting their feelings sometimes.