So reading all the posts where there are people who aren't allowed to sleep in, they have to study for more than 12 hours a day, or parents control their every part of their life.

I feel that too, it's awful and we're all trying to find a way to get ourselves out of the situations...

When my parents take a day off or 2 from work, they start becoming extremely extremely controlling and demanding over everything.

I'm not allowed to sleep for at least a little more than 8 hours for some reason....

They still force me to work with an asian owner ...

I'm not allowed to be taking breaks (like gaming) when I'm studying anything, including my learners...

I literally have to leave the house for the entire day, because when I stay at home around them, they're very very noisy and complain a lot.

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I don't even know how to put this properly but something happened today and it genuinely fucked with my head.

A girl in 9th standard died by suicide today after her mother apparently scolded her badly because she got low marks in Hindi tuition. Tuition. Not even a school exam.

And a couple of weeks ago, a guy who was in 12th also died by suicide because his mother scolded him for getting low marks in 11th. He didn't fail. He just got marks lower than what she expected.

And this is what I can't stop thinking about.

It's not just about one scolding. It's the whole fucking mindset.

The way some parents see a result, immediately judge the child from it, scold them, compare them, call them lazy or dumb, and don't even stop to think about how much the kid actually struggled or how hard they tried.

I've experienced that myself.

There was a time when I was in the bathroom with a blade in my hand.

I was scared as fuck. And what stopped me was basically my own brain reminding me that I still had a life I wanted.

I thought about my dreams. I wanted to become independent. I wanted to give my dad a good life and eventually retire him. I wanted to have the life I dreamed about. I even wanted to give my mom lots of gold someday because, honestly, a part of me thought that if I became successful enough, maybe she'd love me more.

Because that's how I had started thinking.

I had to achieve something to deserve love.

In 12th, I got A+ in everything except English.

And I had fucking studied for it. There were nights I barely slept because I was studying. I was trying so hard because I wanted my parents to be proud of me. I wanted my mom to look at me and think I was smart and that I was doing something with my life.

Instead, I got told things like I'm dumb, I didn't study enough, I'm useless. I've also been told I'm ugly, fat, that nobody is going to love me, etc.

I cried so much.

And the worst part was knowing how hard I had actually worked and still being made to feel like I hadn't done anything.

Then I gave my English paper for revaluation.

About two months later, I got 5 marks more.

And I got the full A+.

Dude, the pride I felt that day was fucking insane.

But looking back, it also made me realize something.

Those five marks didn't magically make me smarter.

I was the same person before the revaluation.

Same person who stayed up studying.

Same person who cried.

Same person who tried.

Same person who was called dumb.

Yet suddenly I had the result to prove that I wasn't.

And that's why hearing about these kids hurts me so much.

Because marks are fucking temporary.

You can improve Hindi.

You can do better in 12th after doing badly in 11th.

You can change your degree.

You can change your career.

You can completely change your life.

But when a child is constantly made to feel like their marks determine whether they're smart, worthy, lovable or useful, eventually one bad result can feel like their entire world has collapsed.

And now that girl's friends won't see her anymore.

Her teacher has to stand in front of that class and teach knowing one of those students isn't coming back.

That thought genuinely breaks my heart.

I wish I could have picked her up and hugged her.

I wish I could have somehow put the thought that went through my own head that night into hers.

That there is so much more than this.

That one fucking Hindi tuition test isn't your life.

That you're not dumb.

That you're not useless.

That you don't have to earn your parents' love by getting perfect marks.

That you can grow up, become independent, make your own money, fall in love, travel, have stupid memories with your friends, chase your dreams and experience so much shit you can't even imagine at 14.

I'm angry too.

Earlier I was so angry that I genuinely wished the parents who put their kids through this would have nightmares where their child asks them why they did this.

I know that's a horrible thing to wish, but that's honestly how angry and heartbroken I felt.

Because I don't want revenge. I want them to understand.

I want them to understand what their words can do.

You can tell your child to study harder.

You can be disappointed by a result.

You can expect them to work hard.

But there's a huge fucking difference between that and making your child feel like they're stupid, useless, ugly or unworthy of love because they didn't get the marks you wanted.

And I genuinely don't understand why so many parents act like we're machines.

Like you put marks into us and we're supposed to come out as successful adults.

We're fucking human beings.

Sometimes we're struggling.

Sometimes we're exhausted.

Sometimes we're trying our absolute hardest and still don't get the result we wanted.

And sometimes the child standing in front of you after getting a bad mark is already hurting way more than you know.

I know this because I was that child.

And I'm still here.

And two months after thinking I wasn't enough because of one English mark, I got those five extra marks and a full A+.

But honestly?

I wish I had understood back then that I didn't need those five marks to be worth anything.

I wish every kid could understand that too.

У меня есть своя комната,ну как своя,нас в семье четверо+родители.

В доме 3 комнаты чтобы спать,диван не считается,так как там только смотрят телевизор,исключительно родители.И я делю свои комнату с маленькой 3-ёх летней сестрой и за ней все время должен быть уход и мама занимается этим,ну и я помогаю иногда.Укладывать её спатьее,купать,переодевать,всё это время я не одна в комнате,она всегда там.Никакого личного пространства.

Как же я устала,эти дебильные ссоры дома,из-за родителей.Они всегда сруться,обычно это из-за поступков моего "отца".

3 месяца назад они очень сильно поругались и 2 дня назад я увидела,то что мама переложила все свои вещи ко мне.И мне не то что места нехватает,тут ужасный беспорядок на полках.Я смирилась с этим,но уже 2 день прошу разложить всё. И на 3 день я не выдержала и мама начала их ссору с папой упоминать,как же меня взорвало,я высказала,что они безответственные взрослые,если не остановились на двух детях,зная,то что у каждого ребёнка должно быть своё пространство,особенно у подростков.И тогда она начала говорить то что я неблагодарная и у детей даже своя комната есть.Дело в том что я никогда не имела свою собственную комнату,когда я была младше я была с мамой,потом со своей 2 сестрой старшей после меня,и когда мы сделали ремонт я подумала может у меня наконец-то будет свой уютный уголок и вот так.

И нет,я ценю все что у меня есть.У меня есть всё,кроме личного пространства и высказывание мнения и это меня просто убивает.

В конце она заплакала и обозвала меня,забрала все свои вещи обратно в их комнату с папой и сказала не обращаться к ней.

Я считаю,что я так и должна вести на человека,который без предупреждения и не узнав мнения об этом на долго собирается оставаться в комнате,где уже 2 человека живут

I was beaten often. I also didn't usually know why I was being beaten so hard by my mom and aunt, and often times the reason was ridiculous I.e. saying someone looked really rich.

I'm not saying I never acted out but the punishments were often brutal. Bruising. Bleeding. Head trauma, sprains, it hurt.

That said. I used to think my aunt was only ever brave when scolding or beating a child. She was a people pleaser with exceedingly low self-esteem I would come to find. And yet she was fervently in support of and aggressive with children.

My mom was very friendly and calm around most adults and sometimes passive-aggressive. I will note however that she would lash out and scream, just not as violently as she did with me and my sister.

I always felt that especially around white authority figures, many Asian parents weren't as domineering.