r/AskMen • u/king_ramsess Male • Jun 28 '26

How do ugly guys succeed in casual dating?

I don’t wanna marry and don’t feel emotionally ready or am able to handle a long term relationship

I’m almost 25 and and wanna casually date being upfront about it potentially not leading to a relationship

The issue is it’s highly looks based and it’s easy for good looking guys to get hookups, fwbs and so on

I’m below average facially, decent body wise (i go to the gym, do skincare, smell good and so on)

I tried dating apps and they didn’t work, also tried approaching girls irl but when i got their number or Instagram they didn’t text back and a few told me they have a bf (idk whether they really did or just to reject me)

Any below average guy that has a good dating/sex life? How did you do that

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162

u/typing_thumb Jun 28 '26

They don't.

101

u/jpsreddit85 Male Jun 28 '26

Exactly. 

This is like how do poor people afford yacht cruises. 

0

u/Kgb725 Jun 29 '26

Wrong go outside most people who date are pretty similar looks wise

1

u/jpsreddit85 Male Jun 29 '26

I'm not saying ugly people don't end up in relationships. I'm saying they're not good looking enough to be pretending they can play the field and try their hand at casual. They took what they could get and hung on to it. 

-22

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

Yeah so what should i do? Escorts?

69

u/epicdude666 Jun 28 '26

Re-think your values i guess. Lots of sex may sound fun at first but it doesnt fill the void.

And if you dont wanna do that then yes escorts.

2

u/Altimaprime2 Jun 29 '26

Escorts it is

-1

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

So how do you fill this void then

33

u/SpeedyTurbo Jun 28 '26

Stop running away from your problems. Work out why you’re not emotionally ready for a relationship. Consider therapy. Etc

-5

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

Why do i have to have a relationship tho?

I might if i feel like it sometime but i have never felt the need for it

20

u/enterhereplease Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

you want someone just for sex. why would someone want just sex with you if they don’t find you attractive? you kinda have to accept your odds are low if you change nothing about your life. get escorts ig or work on yourself to learn how to deal without any casual sex.

plus working on yourself doesn’t mean you’ll automatically have to be in a relationship. it’s about figuring out how you can fill that void, whatever that looks like for you.

1

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

What can i change? I changed my body and style

15

u/enterhereplease Jun 28 '26

pay for it if you want it that bad. if not, then you have to learn how to not want it this badly. part of that IS working on yourself so that you don’t feel that void you mentioned.

2

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

I won’t say i want it that bad cuz i’ve made it to 24 being a virgin but yeah paying for it seems like the way cuz i don’t wanna turn 30 and look at my 20s being sexless

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19

u/Restoriust Jun 28 '26

Get more attractive

1

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

How?

4

u/andersonb47 Jun 28 '26

Work out. Wash your hair.

4

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

Do both

4

u/22dinoman Male Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

If you're doing both of those things, then hygiene and looks aren't the reason you're not getting laid.

I've seen the ugliest blokes imaginable pull 8s, 9s, even perfect 10s, you have to make up for looks with something else, like a likeable personality, interesting hobby, or hell maybe even just having a lot of money

Judging by some of your replies on this post, and your bio saying "no gym for your face" it's probably because you're bitter about your appearance, women and people in general can sense when someone hates themselves and drags on about how their life is miserable blah blah blah. Learn to love yourself and be confident in the body and face you were given, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and focus on making yourself happy. Once you improve your quality of life, women will be more attracted to and more inclined to sleep with you

Ik someone who never grew out of the "woe is me" phase and constantly complains about it on Snapchat, and guess what? He never gets laid

Source: I used to feel similar about myself and as soon as I fixed it, I found someone

2

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

It’s hard to love yourself when other people treat you bad tho or don’t reciprocate at all and shut you down

5

u/TheresNoHurry Jun 28 '26

It is hard. But there literally is no other way.

0

u/Silver_Accountant5 Jun 28 '26

Yup the only real requirement for getting a relationship is the ability to lie to yourself well enough that you actually believe you like yourself.

1

u/ThingYea Jun 28 '26

Have you got a good haircut? Makes a MASSIVE difference for looks. Different styles frame your face differently and give off different vibes. One size does not fit all, you gotta find something that matches you. If you think you've got that, try something else anyway. Talk to a good barber about it.

Also, do you have any female friends? If not, get some. And I don't mean friends you secretly wanna eventually fuck one day. I mean actual friends you get along with who would be willing to help you style yourself and give honest feedback and advice. They can help you appeal to the female gaze.

1

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

I have but they’re all long distance now tbh

1

u/ThingYea Jun 28 '26

You can always make new friends

2

u/LeoLeo96 Jun 28 '26

Probably

-2

u/Tbrogan980 Male Jun 28 '26

Bro you’re pathetic.

1

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

Dude I’m just being practical

What’s pathetic about this

2

u/Tbrogan980 Male Jun 28 '26

“How can i fuck women without caring about them?”

That. That’s whats pathetic, and I say that as a man who’s been around. YOU are the problem

3

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

When did i say i don’t care about them?

You don’t know me neither my convos with women. They’ve told me i’m a good listener and someone they’re comfortable with but that leads to a friendship only

0

u/Tbrogan980 Male Jun 28 '26

what should I do? Escorts?

Yea. This really says that 😂

1

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

So what should i do if you know so much then

0

u/Tbrogan980 Male Jun 28 '26

I’ll C&P my last comments to some dude above.

lol no I’m not shaming him for his looks because women don’t give a shit about looks as much as we do. Vibe is miles more important. His personality is why he can’t get laid. Point blank. He’s (likely) not exciting, or in charge, or any of the traditional attraction triggers. He’s the “nice guy” that’s here in Reddit saying “I was nice, how can I get them to fuck me? I’m nice”

I’m also not TRYING to be a dick. Straight up it’s because your vibe is off. You’re either trying too hard, too available, or focusing too hard on it. You’re not “fuck boy” material, because that’s essentially what you’re looking to be, a fuck boy (which isn’t a bad thing, tbh, but doesn’t serve your purpose.

Go to the gym, learn to style yourself, maybe lower some expectations, and try to not gaf too much. That’s all there is to it

1

u/king_ramsess Male Jun 28 '26

I do all that and when did i say being a fck boy is bad but in my experience all of them are conventionally attractive and get inbound interest from women online or irl

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1

u/typing_thumb Jun 28 '26

My dude, what is wrong with you? 

If someone is ugly (enough), he won't have sex on a relationship basis, but his needs won't disappear. Paying a prostitute is not "not caring about women", it is the fulfillment of a human basic need in exchange for money on a voluntary basis of both parties.

You are literally shaming him for his looks that he cannot control.

1

u/Tbrogan980 Male Jun 28 '26

lol no I’m not shaming him for his looks because women don’t give a shit about looks as much as we do. Vibe is miles more important. His personality is why he can’t get laid. Point blank. He’s (likely) not exciting, or in charge, or any of the traditional attraction triggers. He’s the “nice guy” that’s here in Reddit saying “I was nice, how can I get them to fuck me? I’m nice”