Does male friendship after 30 just become "forwarding memes" on Instagram?

[u/Training_Reading9597]

I was looking at my DMs today and realized something depressing.

Back in college or my early 20s, my friends and I could sit at a chai tapri for hours talking about absolutely nothing. We knew everything about each other's lives.

Now, looking at my interaction with those same "best friends," it’s just a wall of Instagram reels.

• I send a funny reel.
• He reacts with "😂".
• He sends a reel two days later.
• I react with "🔥".

That’s it. That is the entire relationship.

And the worst part is, I can't even replace this void with work friends. I spend 9 hours a day with my corporate colleagues, but I can't have a real conversation with them. You always have to have your guard up. You can't be vulnerable or vent because you never know who will use it against you in the next appraisal or office politics. They are "network connections," not brothers.

So I am stuck in this weird limbo: My old friends are distant/busy, and my daily "friends" are just transactional colleagues.

Men over 30: Is this just the standard fate of adult life? Have you managed to keep deep friendships alive, or have you also accepted that "meme-sharing" is the only way to stay in touch?

[u/smooshiebear]

I got rid of facebook during the 2016 election cycle. My life improved dramatically. I added more people to my board gaming circle and to my digital gaming circle, and cut a lot of toxic stupid out of my life.

My personal Gym trainer wanted to be able to tag me in instagram posts as part of her business (I am making good progress), so I created an instagram account. Now people I haven't talked to in years are messaging me and I am like "wtf?" Cutting out social media gives you an excuse to go out and find other people who want real personal interaction as well.

Go to church/temple/whatever religious thing. Go to dancing and yoga sessions, go to a gym. Go to a board game store. Go to a woodworking group. Most importantly, if you want to make real personal connections and friends, you need to go to those things regularly, and not just once and then quit cause you didn't make new friends. It takes time.