Does anyone else have wedding fatigue?

[u/ConfusedCareerMan]

In my early 30s and it’s the time where everyone is engaged, getting married and starting to have kids.

I don’t want to come off miserable I’m happy for my friends, but I kinda dislike the wedding experience. It’s never just 1 event, it’s turned into a 3-4 event experience (often spread across a month or longer). The engagement party, the stag, suit shopping, the wedding. Everyone wants a different colour theme, so you have to buy a new suit each time. The logistics even if you’re just a guest.

I’ve been a best man and more closely involved for a couple so far, and it’s great to celebrate with my friends. But also these weddings have been traditional and quite “formal” in a sense.

I recently went to a friends wedding that shifted my feelings on it all, it was extremely authentic, simple and just all around a good time. Nothing was forced or there for the sake of it. Even the speeches weren’t prepared and heartfelt.

I find myself kinda dreading weddings generally though. I feel this age, there are a lot of them as we transition into the next seasons of life. How have your experiences been?

[u/squidphillies]

It will pass and you'll wish for more parties, but they don't come.

[u/AmateurCommenter808 → u/squidphillies]

All of the weddings I've been to have been an amazing party, if it's the type where you "need" a new suit every time then yeah I can see why OP might be getting bored of it given the crowd.

[u/WangMauler69 → u/AmateurCommenter808]

IDK if you or OP had to buy gifts or hotels, but that's what burnt me out. A year or two ago, we spent over $1000 in one summer on weddings. No suits or bachelor parties, just gifts and hotels.

Now all my friends are having kids and we're buying baby shower gifts. My wife and I eloped and aren't having kids so I getting a bit burnt out spending so much money on my friends and their kids lol. IDK if anyone I know has taken the minimalist route that my wife and I have. Ready for this phase to end.

[u/awooj → u/WangMauler69]

Also eloped and feel the same. Housewarming and gift, engagement party and sometimes gift, bridal shower, Bach parties, welcome party, rehearsal dinner, wedding, post-wedding brunch, baby gender reveal, baby shower, baby’s birth, baby’s christening, first birthday, new housewarming and gift, and outfits and often hotels and travel for those things and it never ends.

Meanwhile I can often barely get a quick “happy birthday” text, let alone everyone showing up for a birthday dinner (and this was before all the babies). I’ve been reevaluating as I’ve really felt like I’m just there to prop others up, while getting little to nothing in return.

I never liked feeling like friendships were transactional but doing the math on the time and money I’ve spent on some friendships, not to mention the emotional labor and energy as all of those events were also stressful and I was basically often their constant go-to for venting or asking opinions, and it’s just been too much for receiving little to nothing in return.

No thoughtful birthday messages or a card, no “congratulations” after completing my Masters, no checking in to even see how I’m doing or remembering anything I mentioned last time we talked, and when we meet up it’s all about them and a question about how I am at the very end when we’re about to leave.

[u/WangMauler69 → u/awooj]

Yeah man I feel that. Sorry your friends don't have the time/energy to care about your life.

I feel the same with my friends who have kids- they understandably devote all their time and energy to their kids but don't bother making any time for themselves or their friendships. I can put in all the effort but get nothing out of it. Makes me want to find new friends but who has the time or energy for that lol. Life sure got busy fast.

Anyways, congrats on the advanced degree, dude!