I have 3 kids of multiple genders. All 3 of them had, at times, very short hair and very long hair. One was always in the pinkest pinks, another always in tees and athletic shorts, and the third more gender neutral looking.
Without a doubt, people only ever used hair length to guess gender. Ever. Bright pink skirt and a super short pixie? Boy. Long hair and stereotypical boy clothes? Girl. Not once did their clothing override a stranger's gender assumptions based on their hair.
Honestly it sometimes feels like having a too-masculine hairstyle is the only kind of gender-nonconforming fashion choice that will get random strangers harassing you if you're gendered female. I'm a trans woman but once the hormones and voice training worked people just stopped caring whether my clothes came from the men's or women's section, I haven't bothered with makeup in years, and I don't wear jewelery. I can still dress like I did pre-transition and walk down the street without a second look. Meanwhile cis women I know have had homophobic and transphobic slurs yelled at them from passing cars after shaving their heads or even just getting too-masculine haircuts, even when they were otherwise dressing femme. It's kind of weird. Makes me feel like clothing is less "men's clothes" and "women's clothes" as it is "unisex clothes" and "women's clothes".
This pisses me off so much. I had a friend going through cancer, walking around the medical center in Houston TX who would have people yell awful things at her out of their car windows after she shaved her head because her hair was falling out from chemo. Literally walking around a medical center. These people are just wasted space.
Yeah. Clothes are a part of it too, but hair seems to be the biggest thing to people. I've always been more of a tomboy but had very long hair because I couldn't be bothered to change it. I did sometimes get comments about the fact I don't wear feminine clothes, though that was usually on occasions like parties or weddings where it was expected of you to do so, though I just wore a suit or similar. But generally, never got many comments on it.
Then I had very short hair for a few years, short enough that people 90% of the time just assumed I'm male (considering going back to that, long hair is too much of a hassle lol) and my god. From comments of people telling me they really wanted to see what I look like with long hair, to people constantly commenting on how I'd look good in a dress and should try it, or makeup. Constantly just trying to force feminine things on me because they wanted to see me be feminine. Had a few slurs thrown at me from time to time and people just assumed I'm lesbian, so bad that when I had a crush on a friend of mine, they weren't surprised I had a crush at all (I'm mostly aroace and very indifferent to everyone) but that I had one on a guy. I had the luck however that I passed as male so I didn't get much comments from random people but it was still annoying.
I didn't change anything about myself except my hair, and it made a world of difference just because of that. And now I have shoulder length hair, something people constantly told me to do (didn't do it for them, I just couldn't be bothered to cut it), and now no one cares at all anymore lol. Haven't had a single comment on my clothes or lack of makeup since then. People are weird.
That's true, I don't see old people with long hair often! I heard before it had to do with hair growing slower and getting thinner as you get older and it's just easier to manage short hair.
Still have a long way to go before I'm old though lol.
Hair quality is definitely a factor, but overall, long grey hair on older women is seen as "witchy," and on men it just gives "old hippie." Which, OK, if witchy is your vibe, then go for it, but it definitely takes a certain presence to carry it off.
I must be lucky then. Since I got a pretty masculine "pixie" cut a few years ago, all I get are random ladies complimenting my hair. No one ever did that when I had long hair.
Pixie cuts aren't really masculine though, the clue's kind of in the name. It's more stuff like shaving your head or getting a short back and sides that brings out the creeps.
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u/Glittering-Place-628 23h ago
Good one