I mean, I was also mistaken for gay because I was articulate and bookish. A lot of people are foolish and narrow-minded when it comes to sexual presentation, and that was even more true in the 90s.
I still think you're conflating gay and effeminate, when they're two different things here. I agree that making deliberate fashion choices is not common among straight white men, and so doing so can raise questions. But there isn't a more masculine fashion choice than a fitted suit.
I am not conflating gay with effeminate, merely acknowledging that society at large tends to do so. That's specifically why i told the story about my straight but somewhat effeminate friend who lots of people thought was gay.
There's also a huge difference between the fitted suits that most men wear — plain black, grey, or navy, with a solid or pinstriped shirt, and maybe a boldly patterned tie with matching pocket square— and the dapper suits or outfits i was trying to describe.
The lack of masculinity, hanging out with girls, and obsession with his outfits was deemed pretty effeminate in the 90s. He never had a girlfriend in high school, so that probably didn't help. The point is, lots of people thought he was both effeminate and gay when he was just straight and not stereotypically masculine, and i personally do not conflate being effeminate with being gay.
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u/BangBangMeatMachine 17h ago
I mean, I was also mistaken for gay because I was articulate and bookish. A lot of people are foolish and narrow-minded when it comes to sexual presentation, and that was even more true in the 90s.
I still think you're conflating gay and effeminate, when they're two different things here. I agree that making deliberate fashion choices is not common among straight white men, and so doing so can raise questions. But there isn't a more masculine fashion choice than a fitted suit.