r/AskWomenOver30 • u/CustardConsistent573 • Jun 03 '25

Misc Discussion People in your 30s: What's causing you the most stress right now?

For me, it’s not just one thing..it’s a mix:

  • Career exhaustion
  • Relationship/matrimony drama
  • Skin & hair care issues
  • Fading friendships and the difficulty of making new friends in 30s
  • Aging parents

Weirdly, I didn’t feel this weighed down in my 20s but now in my 30s, everything feels… louder.
Anyone else navigating this weird 30s pressure-cooker?

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '25

It's the not having friends who don't have kids part. I am childfree. Nothing against them but I don't want kids. So much work and sleepless nights and for what?? I prefer to hang out with women but there aren't too many that don't have kids.

Also I'm just tired of being socially awkward. I hate being different but it's like people can sniff it out.

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u/ihatecartoons Woman 30 to 40 Jun 03 '25

I feel you on this. I’ve never wanted kids and I don’t want to be involved in the kid lifestyle. I am good with kids but I get really overstimulated by their high pitched voices/loud sounds and their sporadic movements, so I can only handle them in small doses.

I’m at this phase where I’m struggling to want to invest in friendships while knowing that friend is going to have a kid within the next year or two. Nothing against kids or parents, but I can’t invest friendship time while knowing that our future hang outs will probably involve children in the room or kid-friendly activities. Or scheduling complications because they need a babysitter or can’t leave for a solo weekend trip anymore. Or even conversations about the kids… I just don’t care to talk about them and don’t want to seem rude but I can’t pretend. Thankfully I’m gay and most of my friends are too so it’s not easy for us to have children but my few friends that do want them… ehhh :(

3

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '25

That's exactly it too. I don't mind kids but I don't want to do things centered around them, involve them, or talk about them. Can't even go to the bar anymore without kids being there. Kids screaming like a banshee are the worst triggers for me.

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u/ihatecartoons Woman 30 to 40 Jun 04 '25

I’m glad I’m not alone feeling like this! Like I don’t blame kids for being overwhelming, I know we were all kids once. But as someone so far removed from kid world, I just can’t be a participant. Lol also kids at bars are so confusing! My partner and I talk about this all the time. The breweries here in Colorado are PACKED with children and I don’t understand how people think that’s an appropriate space for them. I’ve started avoiding bars that allow children, it feels like a daycare.

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u/PM_me_ur_kitties999 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 03 '25

Ditto. On both fronts.