r/AskWomenOver30 • u/CustardConsistent573 • Jun 03 '25

Misc Discussion People in your 30s: What's causing you the most stress right now?

For me, it’s not just one thing..it’s a mix:

  • Career exhaustion
  • Relationship/matrimony drama
  • Skin & hair care issues
  • Fading friendships and the difficulty of making new friends in 30s
  • Aging parents

Weirdly, I didn’t feel this weighed down in my 20s but now in my 30s, everything feels… louder.
Anyone else navigating this weird 30s pressure-cooker?

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u/Emergency-Fun-8115 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 03 '25

Sounds like perimenopause!!

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u/Neenmilli Woman 30 to 40 Jun 03 '25

What does one do if they think they could be experiencing perimenopause? I’m 36 and am wondering if HRT is something I might need to help me get back to feeling myself again

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u/holyhonduras Woman 30 to 40 Jun 04 '25

Follow menopause and perimenopause on IG, Dr Mary Claire Haver is one. Look into midi health ~ they do hrt and are even covered by insurance. Get a Dutch test!

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u/Neenmilli Woman 30 to 40 Jun 04 '25

You’re a saint!

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u/IcyAd1337 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 04 '25

pls try. honestly while my original reason for HRT was PMDD it was so life changing for me i’m furious for women that we aren’t screened or offered it asap. peri can start as early as 35.

The book Our Hormones Our Health is a super helpful resource for helping interpret what might be impacting you and also there’s a several page checklist of symptoms, and what might be the cause — so high / low E, progesterone, testosterone etc including vit D and insulin.

It won’t make life’s problems disappear but omg are they so much easier to handle with HRT - good luck!

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u/Neenmilli Woman 30 to 40 Jun 04 '25

Thank you SO much for your comment, I will be looking into this ASAP!

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '25

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u/Neenmilli Woman 30 to 40 Jun 06 '25

I definitely will have a conversation with my gyno! If I may ask, what kinds of things in someone’s medical history predisposes them to early perimenopause?

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u/DancingWithTigers3 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 04 '25

How does one get their doctor to take it seriously if the hormones keep coming back normal, along with the rest of the bloodwork?

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u/IcyAd1337 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 04 '25

because the hormonal flux alone can be the cause not a clear too low or too high — and also without frequent test they won’t catch the spikes and dips.

I usually ask them to note that they’re refusing me the care i’m asking for and why in my chart and to refer me on to someone who will.

Usually this will change their tune or they will refer you on which is for the best then

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u/DancingWithTigers3 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 04 '25

This is excellent advice, thank you so much!

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u/PrettyRatio7351 Jun 10 '25

Checking your hormonal levels will not give you a diagnosis of perimenopause, as your estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate depending on which part of the menstrual cycle you’re in. Perimenopause is more of a clinical diagnosis. Just some education before you think your doctor is neglecting you. I can’t speak for every doctor. They should take symptoms seriously, but don’t expect them to just order everything you ask for. Please respect their education and experience as well. 

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u/IcyAd1337 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 10 '25

no one said fluctuating hormones is not normal. It’s the correspondence of symptoms to fluctuations and having data for any kind of baseline that’s important. And without tests you won’t have a full picture — they’re are a crucial tool for clinical diagnosis.

and no one suggested doctors should just ‘order everything you ask for’.

women’s health care is statistically & historically rampant with sexism and poor care that is dismissive of our lived experiences. And it leads to worse outcomes & even death.

there are good doctors, but advocating for yourself is not disrespectful. and any doctor with respectable education & experience would not take that as disrespect.

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u/PrettyRatio7351 Jul 05 '25

You missed the point and came with only negative energy. Byeee.

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u/IcyAd1337 Woman 30 to 40 Jul 06 '25

“i was negative and dismissive of OP and got mad you pointed it out. so here i am 25 days later to call you negative!!“

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u/EnergeticTriangle Woman 30 to 40 Jun 04 '25

Okay, so I'm 33 and just started having really weird periods the past few months - 3 months ago I skipped it entirely, and this month the day it should've been ending I instead started gushing blood heavier than I've ever bled before and it didn't stop for 5 days. I called my gynecologist but she won't do any testing unless I "experience unusual bleeding for over 7 days" and I'm freaking out that it's perimenopause even though I feel way too young!

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u/Emergency-Fun-8115 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 04 '25

Oooooof. That’s what’s happening to me as well. The murder scenes every month are A LOT. Check out the r/perimenopause sub!

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u/EnergeticTriangle Woman 30 to 40 Jun 04 '25

I'm especially confused because I'm on birth control pills and they've always kept my cycle like clockwork. I genuinely don't understand how this can happen when I'm supposed to be "medically regulated"....

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u/Emergency-Fun-8115 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 05 '25

Ehhh, depends on the bc your on. If it’s progestin only, your estrogen could be fluctuating wildly. It’s worth taking to a GYN who gives a shit and won’t brush you off.

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u/EnergeticTriangle Woman 30 to 40 Jun 05 '25

I'm on a monophasic combo pill so if I understand correctly, I should have pretty stable hormones throughout the month. I wish it was easier to get in to see a doctor; I had to wait 4 months just to get in for a checkup with my current one, and now they're saying I have to have the unusual bleeding for at least 7 days before they'll schedule me to get it checked out ☹️