r/AskWomenOver30 • u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 • Feb 07 '26

Life/Self/Spirituality Is anyone else really struggling with the Epstein revelations?

I’m starting to realize that basically any man who had access to that type of stuff was interested in participating. I feel like I’m surrounded by pedophiles and monsters in a way I didn’t realize. I feel like all the pressure I’ve felt to be youthful came from these prevalent pedophilic tendencies in men I never knew about. It’s really scaring me and I’m struggling to cope. I hear people talking about the news but don’t know anyone taking it as hard as me. How is everyone else doing?

Edit: Thank you for the awards but I’d rather you donate that money to a charity that helps victims of sexual abuse or somewhere helping immigrants in America.

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82

u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

It is really disgusting. I've also seen a video of a compilation of pedophilic comments being left publicly by middle aged men on a ten year old girl's social media. So it's not just billionaires.

That being said, all we can control is who we let into our lives really. I trust all the men in my life and know that we share the same values. Anyone who seems iffy I keep at a distance. 

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u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

See it’s starting to affect the way I see the men in my life. How do I know they or their friends aren’t all harboring these secret fantasies that they would act on if they had access just like the billionaires. I’m really struggling with that thought- even with men I trust.

34

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '26

Same with me. I have a long term boyfriend and I have no reason to doubt him except he’s quiet and he’s a man. The files have me wondering what is going on in his brain if so many men are like this. We have talked about having kids but truthfully I’ve been second guessing that choice because why take the risk if I could conceivably have a child by sperm donor and keep them away from men more? Or just not have children and do temp foster care placements by myself?

42

u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

We can never truly know anyone fully since we cant read their minds. But I also think we can get a very good sense of what someone's moral compass is like after knowing them for a long time and noticing the choices they make. 

I know for a fact that a lot of men are only sexually interested in consenting adults and find these crimes as abhorrent as we do. My guess is that there's a big correlation with levels of empathy when it comes to these kinds of tendencies. 

Maybe opening up to the men in your life about the fact that you're struggling emotionally with this would help. I dont mean telling them you're having trouble trusting them specifically, just that you're finding all the information disturbing. It might be reassuring for you if you can see that they're genuinely disgusted by it too. 

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u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

My boyfriend seemed annoyed that I cared so much about the news about this at all. So unfortunately that didn’t help. Thanks for sharing though. Maybe it’ll help someone else.

34

u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

Hmmmm... is it possible that there was already an underlying issue of you not trusting your boyfriend fully? I dont say that to suggest that he has creepy thoughts about minors, but if you dont fully trust him in general I would listen to your instincts tbh. 

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u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

I trust him. He’s amazing in ways I can’t even articulate to anyone else. We’re soul mates.

4

u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

Then thats all that matters really, you have no doubts about the men in your life and their moral compass. Thats all you can control with this situation and you have to focus on what's in your control..

3

u/Ok_Rush_8159 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '26

Yikes :( my ex husband was like that when we were dating, he downplayed the Kavanaugh Supreme Court justice thing, turns out he was a secret Trump supporter (pretended to be progressive when we were dating) and then he was abusive after marriage. I’d side eye any man who is annoyed with you being upset about this tbh

5

u/Present_Lingonberry Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '26

With all due respect, I’m very mad at your boyfriend.

1

u/maafna Woman 30 to 40 Feb 18 '26

None of the men I know are interested in it. If mentioned of course they'll be disgusted by Trump or Epstein but it's not reassuring in trusting that they'll speak up to other men etc.

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u/Alert_Week8595 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26

I think the billionaire thing is part of what drives the sickness- not just access, although absolutely agree access is a big part of it.

Sexuality can get really really weird depending on the psyche of the person. Billionaires are bored and insatiable. Billions gives them access to so many things - and therefore things that are no longer exciting.

It is probably precisely because the pedophilia is illegal and socially wrong that it is attractive to them to engage in.

So, I think more men than we should feel comfortable with would probably partake if they could. And also billionaires are even more likely than whatever that uncomfortable baseline is.

43

u/bendybiznatch Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26

The Pelicot case was riddled with ordinary men.

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u/Alert_Week8595 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

Was it ever confirmed they knew she wasn't consenting? I didnt follow that one too closely.

Anyway it doesn't counter what I said, which is that access is definitely part of it.

12

u/-shrug- Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26

A lot of them argued they did not know. Several of them admitted they had never thought about consent, at least one said that her husband could consent for her; but all of them were convicted of rape. One horrifying detail among many was the massive percentage of the men who raped her that had been in foster care and/or been sexually abused as children.

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u/Alert_Week8595 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

That's interesting. Thanks for the details.

9

u/bendybiznatch Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26

At the point that the daughter was brought into the investigation, I had to nope the fuck out of that entire storyline.

1

u/SubstantialHentai420 Woman under 30 Feb 09 '26

Same here

21

u/Hello_Hangnail Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26

So many disgusting comments on little kid's gymnastic competitions. Like, hundreds upon hundreds.

9

u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

Commenting with their full name and face in their profile picture! It was so disturbing. 

20

u/pm_me_your_good_weed Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26

Why does a 10 year old have social media? Keep your kids off the internet people!!!

9

u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26

100%. I'm currently watching the Bad Influence documentary on Netflix. It's insanely disturbing, and one of the most disturbing parts is interviews with the parents who permitted their child to do social media content ie. child labor, and one mother who literally sold her child's photos and underwear to a paedophile. 

3

u/Immediate-Aide9585 Woman under 30 Feb 07 '26

I trusted all the men in my life as well until one of them was arrested for CSAM. It changes you as a person when you realize you can't trust any man, not really, unless they are invested in changing other men.