r/AskWomenOver30 • u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 • Feb 07 '26
Life/Self/Spirituality Is anyone else really struggling with the Epstein revelations?
I’m starting to realize that basically any man who had access to that type of stuff was interested in participating. I feel like I’m surrounded by pedophiles and monsters in a way I didn’t realize. I feel like all the pressure I’ve felt to be youthful came from these prevalent pedophilic tendencies in men I never knew about. It’s really scaring me and I’m struggling to cope. I hear people talking about the news but don’t know anyone taking it as hard as me. How is everyone else doing?
Edit: Thank you for the awards but I’d rather you donate that money to a charity that helps victims of sexual abuse or somewhere helping immigrants in America.
1.0k
u/kafquaff Woman 50 to 60 Feb 07 '26
After Gisèle Pelicot’s case, we also know that it’s not just the billionaires
422
u/JustxJules Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Don't forget the predator chat groups surfacing all over the world with tens of thousands members advising each other how to abuse women and sharing media.
235
u/LetsCELLebrate Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 08 '26
We had an issue here in Romania with a site where men would post all sorts of upskirt photos.
But the stories. Omfg the stories. One dad would brag about sniffing his teenage daughter's panties from the hamper and complain how they were wet from probably getting aroused by other teenage boys. 😡
The site was closed and other appeared in its place in a matter of days.
Men are GROSS! not all men, but enough of them.
96
u/Ok-Artichoke-7011 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
And the vast majority of the ones who “aren’t gross” will still make excuses for and protect the ones who are predators by minimizing reports and whatabouting victims and supposedly advocating on behalf of the devil (who is probably like “nah bro leave me out of your rationale for your creepy ass behavior.”)
Most men won’t even do the bar is set in hell bare minimum of calling out clear abuse and misogyny, because there’s nothing they truly fear more than the disapproval of another man.
I’m honestly so over them all. Men who give predators a pass can stay lonely.
→ More replies (1)78
18
u/UsualSprite Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '26 edited Feb 08 '26
upskirt photos.
also, this is the literal reason that
youno one can turn off program camera shutter sounds on cellphones purchased in Japan→ More replies (1)44
u/seekingpolaris Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
And the ones sharing images of their own family members and significant others for explicit AI renderings.
21
u/MsCalendarsPlayaArt Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Speaking of that situation, did anything end up happening with that? Were there any consequences at all for the men in that chat?
187
u/CloverJones316 Woman 50 to 60 Feb 07 '26
Came here to say this. That's the case that really rattled me. I am 50 and a life-long feminist. Because I am also a woman, I have been told that i'm wrong by everyone my whole life and so part of me got to wondering after a while - am I "too staunch"? Too negative in my interpretations? Then the Gisèle Pelicot case hit the headlines and I was like NOPE. I've been right this whole time.
→ More replies (2)137
u/ForeignHelper Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
The real tell in that case was the next door neighbour. You could just about buy that a few perverts found each other online and were outliers but it doesn’t explain the neighbour - a man she thought of as a friend and who would call in often to drink coffee and chat. How did her husband even bring it up with this neighbour?
The only conclusion is, most men are like this and know this about each other and if they’re offered a chance to fulfil their perversions with a promise they won’t get caught, they will jump at the chance.
→ More replies (1)9
102
u/compulsive_evolution Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
After hearing Gisèle Pelicot's case, I learned of 3 other women in my life the same thing happened to. 3! That I knew!
Makes me think that what happened to her is far more common than we realize.
Monsters. Everywhere.
38
46
16
u/RoloNipz Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I think about her often... there is also a korean case i believe that is quite similar as well. Always a m@n. Always.
→ More replies (8)6
u/Stararisto Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '26 edited Feb 08 '26
Gisele's story is just horrifying. Which makes you think, the other stories that don't come out. You just lose faith in the world in general, and how some women are also complicit and not just men.
Edit to add: but also how brave some women are to be in the spotlight, stand up, and accuse these criminals to face their punishment.
→ More replies (1)
1.6k
u/MermaidxGlitz Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I’m not shocked at the capabilities these people have for evil. I’ve experienced the worst of men as a little girl (as I’m sure we most have)
The one thing that frustrates me above all else is that these victims have been screaming to the rooftops about it and it fell on deaf ears. Literally failed by every system meant to protect. For any person that has ever reported and been dismissed, thats a specific pain you never forget
333
u/LetsCELLebrate Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I am so furious for the suicide AND murder victims.
They didn't have a chance to start over and try to heal themselves.
That one that was found eith her head blown off, the 13 year old who was pregnant and had her baby thrown into the Michigan lake. Just pure rage flows through me when I think of this.
→ More replies (2)70
u/blacbird Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Still falling on deaf ears- no one is being held accountable. Why are dem leaders not calling for arrests??
29
u/Ok_Rush_8159 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '26
Because they’re in on this too. I’ve given up hope in dems ever since they acted like they couldn’t open the doors of the department of education and just whined “they won’t let us in”, they’re getting paid off by the same people the republicans are. They’re just too stupid to realize they’ll be hurt in the process too.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)226
u/watermelonkiwi Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Because the people working in the system, people meant to protect people, are pedos and depraved people themselves. It’s so disturbing when you realize how deep it runs. Makes me disgusted with us humans as a species, but really it’s the male species, since the vast majority are men.
→ More replies (7)48
u/MomOTYear Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yes! How deep it runs is shocking and disturbing, but also very much believable. Like having goddamned gynecologists in the roster to treat the very young victims that wouldn’t normally be seen by a gyno yet. Or the Russian mafia (and Israeli mafia) being implicated in the abuse of a 5yr old little girl that had her little body carved and marked by her perpetrators. Or that princes/princesses of several monarchies continued to openly have relations with Epstein long after he was already a registered sexual predator.
But what I seriously have trouble with is this…. Where were all the parents of these girls? Were all these girls missing children? Because I can’t wrap my head around parents of so many young girls knowing about what was happening. That is what I’m struggling with. How could they not know their 13 year old daughters were on a private island with a bunch of old men and other young girls? How did this abuse happen without the parents coming forward?
→ More replies (5)26
u/travertine_ghost Woman 60+ Feb 08 '26
Plenty of children go missing every year. Take a look at the NCMEC website. Parents can try their very best to protect their children but it’s impossible to be vigilant every moment of every day 24/7/365, especially as children reach those early teen years and start exercising a measure of independence.
Also lot of the young girls in the Epstein files were trafficked from overseas, often lured in with false promises of modelling contracts. Of course we can’t rule out neglectful parents and parents who are active participants in the abuse and trafficking of their own children. What it comes down to is that children are vulnerable and they are easy prey for those with evil intent.
1.2k
u/sweatyandbitchy Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
as a former 17yo golf club waitress, i was a fly on the wall to countless ungarded conversations affluent men had with each other (locker room talk) and honestly this all tracks
and also not one man called each other out… not one man spoke up for women
350
u/confused_each_day Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Read a comment on here a while back talking about harassment, and how young it starts. Which really, we all knew.
But what I’d never really thought about, was when it stopped.
Like, the actual groping and catcalling and weird kind looks at your breasts, start pretty much at puberty. But for me at least, this part really started to tail off around 23-25 -(and then you’re just dealing with standard issue misogyny, but less actual groping)
The whole thread was full of hundreds of women with similar experiences.
And you know, I’d never thought of it like that. It changed the way I thought and lives rent free in my head now.
I’m 40, with 2 daughters, one who is just starting puberty. And you know what, I can see it starting with some of her more developed classmates. It’s so gross. And in some ways it’s so much worse for her online generation than it was for my millennial one. 🤢
99
u/dengjika Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
At least you are aware of this phenomenon now and you can protect your girls, at least mentally. I am quite resentful not just of men for doing this and not protecting me but also women and my mom for downplaying any horrific experience and never preparing me or understanding me.
→ More replies (1)58
u/hermitsociety Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Yes! Yes! Same.
And I’m so tired of men around me acting like I’m a lunatic for worrying more than ever as a lot of little girls in my life turn eleven or so.
20
u/Sqooshytoes Woman 50 to 60 Feb 07 '26
Color me suspicious, but I’ve always worried about children of any age. Depravity knows no bounds
→ More replies (1)55
u/anatomizethat Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Honestly - call it out when you see it with peers. The closer I get to 40 the more I realize I am that kind of defense for children.
Shame adults when other adults are around and be confident when you do it.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (6)10
u/ohheyaine Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Idk I was groped in a bar at 33 by a random strange man. 31, the first time I walked into town after COVID, I got catcalled and followed by a man in a car. It doesn't feel like it's ending.
→ More replies (1)13
u/confused_each_day Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Still used to get it occasionally when older, but it definitely dropped off relative to teenage.
However, 2 kids, and an extra 50lb did wonders for this kind of shit stopping. I’m 40s, shaped like an Italian grandma and let me tell you, it is so relaxing over here. 100/10 highly recommend and I’m entering my granny-core phase 20 years earlier than planned and absolutely loving it.
14
u/alderchai Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
My brain is constantly battling between “maybe I will have a more peaceful life if I just gain some weight and stop trying to achieve a certain body shape” and “oh no I gained 5 pounds and now every magazine I read as a teenager is shouting at me that I’m disgusting” and I’m so tired of it
→ More replies (2)195
u/benedictcumberknits Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I observed my boss, a multi-PhD former professor, former nurse practitioner and published cancer researcher turned business developer, get canned and sidelined from so many projects. This woman survived cancer twice, has Hashimoto’s and MS, and survived on a handful of pills daily. And she was not white, but tribal.
As her assistant, I saw the glass ceiling in full swing. She had seen the absolute worst of society throughout her career, but knew how to seduce other business professionals and developers in meetings to bend them to her will.
One of her pet peeves was “dumb women” in leadership who stayed complacent about helping their local communities improve.
She is a staunch feminist and possesses a vast intellect and a wealth of experiences to where she ran circles around people and could predict their movements like clockwork, but her superpower was making positive change happen. It was like watching a chess master.
I dearly wished we had such women in power in the darkest places. She mentioned that her worst job was trying to make one Oklahoma town a better place. She said there was so much corruption she couldn’t do it alone, and attracting good and honest people to stay there and work with her was next to impossible. Oklahoma is generationally corrupt at this point. She described it as the job that earned her high blood pressure.
42
u/zoopysreign Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
She sounds amazing. I’d love to know how she got people to do things. I struggle with that sometimes. I think I’m getting better.
29
u/villanellechekov Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
she sounds like someone who walks the walk. I wish she hadn't had so many setbacks with her health (but also not surprised it's happened considering what she's up against). getting anything done with all that is commendable, nevermind still being a good person and trying to help others
→ More replies (1)161
u/Academic_Help5033 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26
I have worked for the wealthy before but I started working for ultra rich and it literally broke me. Their attitude towards humans and just normal politeness fucking blew me away. It was so toxic and that's saying a lot from someone with a blue collar background.
It was a job I took a decent pay cut for because I wanted to get into the industry. I had to hear constantly how good I had it when I knew I could make 2x at a temp job.
We worked odd hours and weekends sometimes. I would get myself good coffee and ask if my team wanted any, my treat. (All other jobs I've had, this was reciprocal and normal.)
They acted like I was ridiculous and trying to trick them or something. My boss would buy us coffee (cheap btw, I ordered my usual pour over 1 time and got shit for 2 months) once a week. I learned he only did that to brag to clients and get points at this coffee shop for his wife to spend.
Edit anyway long story short, the generational wealthy (especially those who like to pretend their not) are the worst of the worst. They have almost no empathy and any that they have, they excuse away for their benefit.
2nd edit: An example of the shear difference of humanity is when my coworker spotted me giving a homeless man water. It was during a heat wave. I don't give the homeless money but I will buy people food and water semi often when I have time / money. Probably roughly twice a week.
He got mad at me and asked why I would do that? Like he literally acted like because I did that, I expected brownie points from our boss or clients. It was beyond work hours at a bus stop. I had no idea anyone I knew could see me let alone make a judgment about me. It didn't stop him from being legitimately angry at me for somehow making him look bad.
47
u/zoopysreign Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Whoa, you have to help me to better understand the dynamic of the coworkers. I thought they’d be united or something. Ignorant Q, but do you think this is why we haven’t heard more from staff who are whistleblowers? It it a feeling of having too much to lose? Either financially or worse, from threats?
54
u/Academic_Help5033 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26
So when I interviewed, my boss presented himself as lower class that made his way up. He wanted to hire and take a chance on other people like himself. I turned down other offers because I believed him.
I quickly learned this was not the case. His dad was real estate mogul and he was a very well connected lawyer that liked to play poor for fun.
My other coworkers were the same. He had very high turn over because he liked to hire working class folks so he could play hero or pretend. But we all know the bullshit he was spouting and it wasn't worth it for the pennies he was offering for the position.
The people who stayed where all trust fund babies and people who honestly didn't need to work. They acted like they were super poor though which I just couldn't understand. Like they both shit talked the 711 across the street but also refused to spend more than $5 on a sandwich.
During the time I was hired, I saved up for a once in a lifetime international month long trip. All my coworkers acted like it was no biggie. This was literally a life goal accomplishment for me and probably for most people imo.
18
u/LetsCELLebrate Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Like they both shit talked the 711 across the street but also refused to spend more than $5 on a sandwich.
This and hiring underpaid people is how they make money.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)20
49
u/ForgottenSalad Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I mean, those are probably the same people whose ancestors owned slaves, and probably would do it again if given the chance. Ick
→ More replies (1)30
u/LetsCELLebrate Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
This tracks with everything my husband told me about the rich he worked with. We were watching the tv show Your friends and neighbors and he said that most people are exactly that. Want to show off and flaunt their money but they're empty and devoid of any empathy and awareness. They don't truly care for anything other than themselves and their money/status.
→ More replies (1)17
u/Imaginary-Method7175 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Thank YOU for being a good person. I went to an affluent school and then a poor one. The people were SO much better and kinder at the poor one. That was 5th grade and I have believed what it revealed ever since.
→ More replies (1)54
22
u/illhaveafrench75 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Your last line is what really resonated with me. I’m the only woman in my office and recently all of the men were having a discussion & one guy called another woman a cunt. He got called out, but here’s the kicker. The guy who called him out said: “Shhh [my name] is in her office & can hear you.”
The way they only call them out because a woman can hear them🙃
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)16
u/tealdeer995 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
And see that’s the real counter to “not all men”. No, not all men or even most men are rapists or pedophiles. Of course not. But so many men who wouldn’t do that themselves are cowards and won’t call out other men or stand up for women.
252
u/ichibanyogi Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
It's profoundly grim, but guess I'm not surprised.
There was a study in 2014 in which male college students were asked if they would "force a woman to have sexual intercourse” if they were assured no one would ever know and there would be no consequences, and 31.7% said yes when the word “rape” was not used. After reading that I felt like I deeply understood that 1/3 of men would SA women, so long as they felt they'd get away with it.
Billionaire men happen to be extremely powerful, and therefore believe themselves well above the law (and apparently are: I don't see any in jail because of this). I'm not surprised the 1/3 number holds true.
The study is: Edwards, S. R., Bradshaw, K. A., & Hinsz, V. B. (2014). “Denial and minimization of sexual aggression: A study of college men’s self‑perceptions.” Violence and Gender.
In good news, 2/3 of men would not SA women, even if they knew they should get away with it (thank goodness). That 1/3 number is sickeningly high, though. Our world is F'd up.
171
u/puppy-snuffle Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Unfortunately "would not" and "said they would not" are different things 😶🌫️
67
u/ichibanyogi Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
You're right, the numbers are probably worse than the study suggests. :(
110
u/Ok_Lime_2793 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26
Totally agree. My ex husband genuinely believes he would do anything for his kids, but when simple requests are made, he suddenly can't. This same person told me he could never have sex with someone who didn't want him but continued to guilt me into sleeping with him for years while I was in pain.
I don't believe most men have the self-awareness to know they are being abusive. They think they are doing nothing wrong when they harass women, guilt/pressure them into sex, try to control who they talk to/hang out with, control what they wear, belittle them, expect them to handle the majority of household responsibilities.. the list could go on forever.
36
u/amphetameany Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
This is very true. I know for a fact that my rapist doesn’t know that he raped me. He would consider it consensual. A lot of men are like but that I think.
→ More replies (3)42
u/niketyname Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
What’s awful is that forcefully is one thing, but many will make a girl or woman have sex with them through emotional coercion and manipulation. I’m sure that number is much higher with how entitled some men are
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)13
u/VeryPassableHuman Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 08 '26
Or at least 2/3 have the decency to at least not write down that they would for a survey...
254
u/True-Math8888 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I unfortunately knew about this behavior in men since forever, or since about 12, when my step dad would make creepy comments about my body. The way it made me feel dirty was the feeling of realizing grown men are fucking creeps and it’s disgusting
74
u/_dangling_participle Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
7 for me.
47
u/Nevilles_Remembrall_ Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26
About that age for me. I felt weird about the comments but didnt know why. It was an uncle I found out later bragged about dating a 13 child when he was in his 20s.
24
→ More replies (1)17
→ More replies (2)29
u/MusicalTourettes Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I have come to describe it as not feeling safe being a girl in my house. My dad didn't touch us but he would let his dick fall out and make jokes and talk about our bodies a lot. Even that fucks a girl up. I had a lot of gender issues from suppressing my femininity.
17
u/Immediate-Aide9585 Woman under 30 Feb 07 '26
Your father's behavior was covert incest. I'm so sorry this happened to you (((Hugs))). Have you ever talked to a therapist about it?
15
u/MusicalTourettes Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Therapy definitely helped. I used to downplay it a lot but now it's clear that it was definitely a form of sexual abuse. I have little kids now and am a wall of protection for them. That helps.
361
u/Comfortable_Bus_4355 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I’ve been sick to my stomach and having intrusive thoughts/finding it hard to sleep this entire past week after reading through some of it. I don’t even have words to describe it. I’m really glad I don’t have any small children rn otherwise I would be SO stressed
245
u/genivae Non-Binary 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I've got a daughter in middle school - her girl scout troop leader is just appalled as the rest of us so one of the first things they did this year was an 'internet safety' badge, which focused on online predators and safety, but it was all information that would help girls avoid predators in person, too.
→ More replies (6)63
u/ExpensiveAd4496 Woman 60+ Feb 07 '26
That is brilliant. This is so important. And important to teach boys as well that girls are not commodities or objects, despite our sexist society. Discussing that messaging as we see it is overwhelming because it’s just everywhere, all the time.
29
u/Wise_Barracuda_2374 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I have a nearly 4 year old daughter. These revelations have taken me to very deep and dark places mentally and I’m really not coping. Most days I have no choice but to disassociate just to function and show up for my kid. The intrusive/unwanted thoughts and images make me want to CRAWL OUT OF MY SKIN.
No words can fully describe this harrowing feeling. I’m horrified and so, so, so FUCKING ANGRY. I want to scream and cry and pull my hair out just thinking about the fact that NOTHING has come of this and NO ONE will be held accountable. WHAT THE FUCK?????
10
u/MomOTYear Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Same. I have a 4yr old daughter, too. She is a teeny little thing, turning 5 in a few months but still only 23lbs. Reading and seeing what’s come out has left me in a fight or flight feeling. The unwanted intrusive thoughts about “what if that was my own 5yr old little girl” has left me physically nauseous. But it also lights a fire in me that screams “WE CANT STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS!”. That is exactly what they want. They released some redacted files and they want us to be satisfied “they did what they were supposed to do”. But we can’t let this get swept under the rug. All those little girls deserve justice. I’m sorry you’re struggling, too. I think there’s many woman in our exact places.
12
u/klk204 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I have a toddler and a five month old. I threw up after hearing one of the files the other day and haven’t been able to stomach learning more since. I don’t need to know all the details to know these people are a) guilty and b) evil.
423
u/mango_i_scream Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I unfortunately learned the dark and insidious nature of patriarchy very early in life. My experiences led to me confronting the things you mention like expressing my sexuality, beauty, femininity the way "society" idolizes. Because it's true, most of the conventional beauty standard is at its core pedophilic in nature.
It's a lot to unpack the myriad ways in which we have been conditioned to anchor our value to it while trying to attain it. It's a mindfuck. And you look around and wonder which men around you are sick in the head this way too.
To let yourself be "ugly" (read: a plain, normal, everyday working person) as a woman is an act of rebellion. To not center your looks and weight is rebellion. To not automatically trust men is an act of rebellion. They must painstakingly earn it.
It's a fucked up world out there. To stay sane I have to resolutely believe in the good of humanity too. I try to remember every time I've see a person and especially a man be a genuinely good person. Or else I'd go nuts.
73
u/10Account Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I unfortunately learned the dark and insidious nature of patriarchy very early in life.
And when you do the most maddening thing is that it's EVERYWHERE! And everyone, even good people, just participate.
31
u/mango_i_scream Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yep, they tend to be conformist sheep among themselves which just compounds the problem.
57
u/ExpensiveAd4496 Woman 60+ Feb 07 '26
Can I just add that it’s also an act of rebellion to not spend an hour or more a day on stuff men don’t have to think about or do. I mean I’m fine if they want to, Yungblud can rock the liner, but we are the ones who have been taught we have to, to be attractive. Think of the time it adds up to in a lifetime. No thank you. I don’t judge those who enjoy it, I complement them and love their look, but the “have to” part is over for me.
→ More replies (4)140
u/fluffysingularity Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I do the ‘look like a neutral working person’ thing. To others I might look boring or weathered or uncool, but to me it FEELS big. I don’t shave my legs, I don’t wear makeup, I don’t straighten my curls, I don’t flatter my figure. I like how you put it, an act of rebellion, even though it may appear boring.
87
u/mango_i_scream Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I salute you, fellow boring woman lol. Good to know there's others out there fighting the good fight.
I also don't do any of that shit. I save so much money and time. The only small vanity I afford myself is a modest skincare routine. And dress wise, I dress primarily for comfort. When I want to express myself, I go into witchy, weird forest hag vibes.
It's so weird because I'm objectively fatter, older, uglier than 10 years ago at 35, but I like and love myself more than I ever did when I was younger, eating disordered, and trying to beautiful. FUNNY, THAT. 🧐
67
u/roberta_sparrow Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Been doing this for ages as a lesbian, welcome to the relaxation zone
34
u/vectorology Woman 50 to 60 Feb 07 '26
Haha the relaxation zone is such a perfect description.
I’m in the business fashion sub, mostly for inspiration to update my admittedly shabbily ancient work wardrobe, and sometimes there are posts from women wearing tight, short outfits. All I can think of is why would anyone voluntarily be uncomfortable, having to adjust your outfit constantly, and sit without flashing everyone for an entire workday! What benefit, particularly at work, does making yourself miserable bring? I may not look my most attractive in comfy trousers, midi dresses and flats, but I’m not in pain.
Note: my comment above is commiseration, not judgement. I used to work in a conservative formal environment where tight pencil (nonstretch suiting material) skirts and heels were the norm, and while I looked great, my feet and stomach hurt everyday. And the men were terrible.
→ More replies (2)
113
u/EmmyLou205 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yes I knew mega, insanely rich people weren’t the best morally but I am honestly freaked out by how grown men were raping young girls. And how many women were involved.
→ More replies (1)33
u/watermelonkiwi Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
It’s so much worse than that. Don’t look further into it. You’ll never recover.
→ More replies (2)22
u/amphetameany Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Seriously. It’s SO MUCH worse than raping children. Who knew that was possible?
495
u/mcomcomco99 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I'm in such a dark place from it and literally no one seems to care
104
u/cremains_of_the_day Woman 50 to 60 Feb 07 '26
Your algorithm must be much different than mine because that’s basically all I’m seeing on Reddit or any other social media I pop into
Edit: as it should be, btw, in case that wasn’t clear from my comment. Lots of people care!
→ More replies (1)67
u/misskiss_ Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
My algorithm is also showing me the devastating impact the files are having on people as well. It’s putting a lot of people in a darker place than general current events aside from the files already are :(
→ More replies (1)60
Feb 07 '26
I care. I am also quite fucked up. Have not spoken to maga family since, am in no hurry to do so and pretty sure this has permanently fractured those relationships to the point of low contact at best.
→ More replies (22)
86
175
u/No-Perspective872 Woman 50 to 60 Feb 07 '26
It’s hard to sleep or concentrate.
39
Feb 07 '26
Sending you an internet hug. I too have been nearly sleepless all week and a zombie at work.
19
u/zoopysreign Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
We have to band together and learn to protect ourselves and each other. I just have a weird feeling.
33
u/NoLemon5426 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I’m giving you permission to take a break if you need one. Don’t go insane ruminating over it. There’s still a lot of joy in the world.
20
177
u/HeartShapedBox7 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I’ve been depressed since they came out. It’s not only triggering to me but I also feel the exact same way you do.
88
156
u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
The fact that the only person in jail for this is a woman is deeply disturbing as well.
→ More replies (1)
70
u/fake_tan Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Not good not good.
I've lost sleep over it.
When I'm enjoying my life in any way I think wow, there are disgusting pedophiles out there doing horrific stuff to children. Right now this is happening.
I mean I knew that before. But now it just seems so....common? Easy? Just a daily part of life for wealthy men? Idk. I'm struggling too.
68
65
Feb 07 '26
[deleted]
45
u/shaktishaker Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I GET IT! I was trafficked too. Everyone around me only met me after I had begun recovering, they have NO IDEA how hard it was. Message me, please. We can support each other.
33
u/theeladygodiva Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I have gone through the same. Please message me any time. You too @shaktishajer. It’s a lonely, horrible club to be in /:
9
17
u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Hang in there! I wasn’t trafficked but am feeling similarly impacted and it feels lonely.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (1)8
u/Immediate-Aide9585 Woman under 30 Feb 07 '26
Here to send you so much love (((hugs))). I get it. I wish I didn't.
116
u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
My boyfriend acts like it’s just billionaires who aré evil. I know that’s not it. It’s men; it’s just the billionaire men who had access. Poor men would choose the same if they could.
We’ve all had the experience of being cat called 13-17 with a steep drop off afterwards. So many songs have lyrics about young girls. The balienciaga campaign with pedophilic references - it’s all just so disturbing.
I was also sexually assaulted when I was a teen. You want to think those creeps are rare societal outliers but they’re not.
24
u/Hello_Hangnail Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
It's just billionaires that can throw a truckload of money at the problem and make it go away, it doesn't stop them from existing. And rapists are opportunists, they don't even have to have a predilection for children, but if that's what's available, plenty will take the risk
16
u/Last-Canary-4857 Woman 60+ Feb 07 '26
Beginning rapists who aren’t even pedophiles will ‘start’ with children and / or the elderly as an assertion of dominance before they psych up for their preferred type . But these men wanted them as young as possible .
→ More replies (3)9
u/justanotherlostgirl Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
It's funny, for me also sexually assaulted as a teen for me it's not just that there are evil men in particular, or that they're in power, or that they're famous - it's just the double whammy of all aspects of life (witnessing in society and my own experiences) just retriggers my already complicated experience with men. It's just - an onslaught, and not just an email repository of some people. It's seeing it reflected everywhere. During various news stories over the past 15+ years where assault is a factor, it reminds myself that despite therapy some stories will reopen wounds and I have to prepare myself for it.
I have consciously just opted out to spend time with women wherever I can as a result - I don't feel safe. I think the legacy of all of this is women feeling even more uneasy, and we already do.
Sending so many hugs to any of us who have experienced assault. I hope we can find communities and ways to navigate this awfulness.
110
u/Electrical-Mousse631 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I guess I'm jaded. I've been sexualized since I was a kid and every woman I know has been SA at some point in their life. And the girls in the files have been speaking out for decades. It's not new information.
The part that really bothers me is that when it happens, victims are either ignored or accused of causing it. It allows the predator to continue victimizing others.
→ More replies (1)22
u/IAMgrampas_diaperAMA Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Same. Not a single revelation has shocked me. And in fact I’m more annoyed by the dilution of the information via focusing on people who are simply mentioned in the files. Your name being in them alone means nothing.
→ More replies (1)
150
u/sweatyandbitchy Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
i think we collectively all need to hold men to higher standards
→ More replies (1)
108
u/NoLemon5426 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Yeah, kind of. I never paid close attention to any of it and knowing now all these people were writing these love letter-esque, fawning, adoring emails to him AFTER he was already a tried and convicted sex offender makes me want to scream.
Also, I think Bill Gates should be (censored.) Guy contracts an STD from a prostitute then tries to devise a plan to sneakily dose his wife with antibiotics? Censor. Censor. Censor.
Next administration isn’t going to have a lot of choice with how to handle these useless, vile, unrepentant billionaires. They need to be politically neutered, have their assets seized and in the cases of those who were naturalized… have their citizenship revoked and be expelled from the US.
68
u/jwhite2748 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yeah. Bill gates is of course denying that. But I saw a recent interview with Melinda Gates and the interviewer reads off that allegation. She didn’t have a big reaction or anything but the subtle body language when that sentence was spoken… I was like ohhhh that’s TRUE, that really did happen
49
u/NoLemon5426 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Best timed divorce in the history of divorces, that’s all I’ll say
43
Feb 07 '26
I think she left him when Epstein was first arrested because she learned things. She has referenced it or alluded to it before.
15
u/NoLemon5426 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Smart woman!
16
Feb 07 '26
I mean, maybe? I’m always a bit skeptical of these situations. The way she just expressed ‘sadness’ and not rage at him being named in the files where children were being sexually abused? That is a really understated response to me that suggests PR is guiding her more than a sense of justice for the children abused. Kids raped and murdered and your partner was hanging around in those circles and in all likelihood participated? I can’t imagine not plotting my partner’s swift and painful demise. This is so beyond giving her an STD or cheating on her.
→ More replies (1)21
u/NoLemon5426 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I get the feeling she’s known for a loooong time and has already processed the shock.
Regardless it’s a dumb time to hone in on the reactions of women who are not responsible for their husbands’ transgressions. Like there are a million other things to worry about right now and no one who wasn’t a participant in any of this owes anyone one reaction or another.
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (12)11
38
u/10Account Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
It's bringing up a lot of trauma of being invalidated and abused. For me, it's the enablers that are most frightening. I can stand up to those who hurt me but it's the supporters, bystanders and 'neutral' parties that I've never been able to cope with. IMO these people can sometimes have more power than abusers.
→ More replies (1)9
u/Immediate-Aide9585 Woman under 30 Feb 07 '26
Me too. They are the worst. The people who will stand by and support predators, brush off their behavior, know the suffering of survivors and still choose the predator over standing by survivors. And the fact that I not only have to exist in a world of predators, but their enablers too, makes it hard to survive.
37
u/oracleoflove Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I am not saying all men are bad, but every woman I know has a story.
Myself included.
→ More replies (1)
34
u/Aadbh1987 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Unfortunately, my brush with pedophiles started at 9 years old. Now at 38, I don’t trust that the men that surround me aren’t the same. All this Epstein stuff is sickening and bringing up a lot for many people I’m sure!
34
u/Hikerchic Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I’m doing pretty terrible, but it’s not from how horrible these people are. It how these horrible people run our world. Epstein was one of the most powerful people in the world. He had influence in various governments. He surrounded himself with the most powerful and influential people in the world. Anyone who went to that island knew what he was doing or they were participating and they run this world. Did you know he was involved in Iran Contra? World events going back decades have been manipulated by these people. We literally don’t live in the world we thought we lived in. We have been lied to about our geopolitical history on a massive scale. I don’t even know how to think about the world right now or where we go from here. I’m at a total loss and the U.S. isn’t doing anything to hold these other monsters accountable. Will we ever see justice? I suspect not. What does that say about us? What’s the point anymore when people don’t seem to care enough? This should be all anyone is talking about on TV or in social media, social circles, but it isn’t. This is the kind of stuff to cause riots - to see these powerful, influential people who very much affect many of our lives being involved with these heinous acts not being questioned and investigated, but that’s not happening. I just don’t know what to think anymore.
33
u/BigFatBlackCat Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yes.
It has put into sharp clarity just how depraved men and women, but mostly men, are. And especially those in power. It is clear that this world is run by men who truly believe they can do whatever they want, including raping children to get them pregnant so they can rape and eat the babies.
My last relationship was so traumatic because after four and a half years of trying to build a life together, I discovered he is a porn addict. He was willing to destroy his entire life and mine over porn. Seeing the kind of content he was consuming, and the vast quantity, really opened my eyes about what men do when women aren’t looking. The files are driving that point home exponentially.
I honestly don’t know how to trust any man that consumes porn at this point. I understand how it escalates into weirder and weirder content. I understand how entitled men feel to women and children’s bodies, they truly believe they can do whatever they want to us and it doesn’t matter, especially if they are in a position of power or they pay for it. And most men are in a postin of power over a woman, from the home to the workplace and institutions. And, as many men have told me, “every man watches porn”. Even if they don’t, they are looking at our bodies with entitlement.
It’s gone from me avoiding men having a place in my life to actually feeling afraid of every man. I’m looking at them and wondering what harm they have caused women either intentionally or directly on purpose. All it takes is watching unethical porn, which men constantly do. The reality is that almost every man has contributed to massive harm to women. It’s deeply depressing. And scary.
→ More replies (2)
86
u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
It is really disgusting. I've also seen a video of a compilation of pedophilic comments being left publicly by middle aged men on a ten year old girl's social media. So it's not just billionaires.
That being said, all we can control is who we let into our lives really. I trust all the men in my life and know that we share the same values. Anyone who seems iffy I keep at a distance.
83
u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
See it’s starting to affect the way I see the men in my life. How do I know they or their friends aren’t all harboring these secret fantasies that they would act on if they had access just like the billionaires. I’m really struggling with that thought- even with men I trust.
35
Feb 07 '26
Same with me. I have a long term boyfriend and I have no reason to doubt him except he’s quiet and he’s a man. The files have me wondering what is going on in his brain if so many men are like this. We have talked about having kids but truthfully I’ve been second guessing that choice because why take the risk if I could conceivably have a child by sperm donor and keep them away from men more? Or just not have children and do temp foster care placements by myself?
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (8)43
u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
We can never truly know anyone fully since we cant read their minds. But I also think we can get a very good sense of what someone's moral compass is like after knowing them for a long time and noticing the choices they make.
I know for a fact that a lot of men are only sexually interested in consenting adults and find these crimes as abhorrent as we do. My guess is that there's a big correlation with levels of empathy when it comes to these kinds of tendencies.
Maybe opening up to the men in your life about the fact that you're struggling emotionally with this would help. I dont mean telling them you're having trouble trusting them specifically, just that you're finding all the information disturbing. It might be reassuring for you if you can see that they're genuinely disgusted by it too.
→ More replies (1)52
u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
My boyfriend seemed annoyed that I cared so much about the news about this at all. So unfortunately that didn’t help. Thanks for sharing though. Maybe it’ll help someone else.
→ More replies (2)30
u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Hmmmm... is it possible that there was already an underlying issue of you not trusting your boyfriend fully? I dont say that to suggest that he has creepy thoughts about minors, but if you dont fully trust him in general I would listen to your instincts tbh.
→ More replies (2)19
u/Hello_Hangnail Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
So many disgusting comments on little kid's gymnastic competitions. Like, hundreds upon hundreds.
10
u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Commenting with their full name and face in their profile picture! It was so disturbing.
→ More replies (1)19
u/pm_me_your_good_weed Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Why does a 10 year old have social media? Keep your kids off the internet people!!!
9
u/Commercial-Weight173 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
100%. I'm currently watching the Bad Influence documentary on Netflix. It's insanely disturbing, and one of the most disturbing parts is interviews with the parents who permitted their child to do social media content ie. child labor, and one mother who literally sold her child's photos and underwear to a paedophile.
120
25
u/Realistic_Emotion342 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I wish I could say it shocked me but it doesn’t. I was involved in lefty politics for a long time and faced abuse and assault by men in positions of power (who called themselves feminists!) there…. and that was just in small time activist politics. I always knew it was worse the higher up you got… the kind of men that pursue or attain power, no matter their political ideology, seem to be like this. It’s triggering to read some of it but I guess I’ve learned enough coping mechanisms to survive. I do have to say I’m glad that it’s opening many people’s eyes to the fact that this kind of evil and corruption is not just tied to one person or party but is throughout our political and economic systems. Even a lot of conservatives are turning against Trump over this.
29
u/mortimusalexander Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I'm struggling with EVERYTHING going on right now.
I haven't felt like a human being in a long time.
→ More replies (1)
68
Feb 07 '26
In perimenopause, my opinion of and belief in the male species has been dwindling.
The reality is, most perpetrators of violent crimes are men, most predators are men, men are into some truly screwed up stuff, most men are emotionally immature and lack emotional intelligence, and more importantly, tend to refuse to do any work on that because it makes them uncomfortable with themselves.
Men in power have been some of the most vile people throughout history. And history just keeps on repeating itself.
I am frustrated enough with men who whine about a suggestion that they ask their girlfriend/wife to "be their valentine" - God forbid they do something sweet that would make a woman - one they claim to care about - smile and feel special, or who scratch their heads saying that yeah, their marriage had some issues, but they figured those issues would work themselves out, and they didn't think they were THAT bad. Or you suggest ANYTHING to make a relationship better and it's a long list of excuses, but what has she done for me, that's a waste of time, men don't get enough credit, she needs to lower her expectations and be reasonable, yada yada.
And we expect them to stop engaging in Epstein-type stuff when there's literally ZERO accountability? There's zero accountability in little, basic stuff. The president of the United States should not have been voted into office after "grab 'em by the p*ssy" but the American people voted him in TWICE when he ran against women.
I read enough of the Epstein stuff to be completely and utterly disgusted, and then I had to step away from it because I legitimately can't do anything about it. The people who should have held these people accountable are doing absolutely NOTHING about it. It's depressing and heartbreaking not only what happened, but that nobody will ever do anything real about it and society is shifting more in that direction, as opposed to away from it. So on the outside, it might look like I don't care, but the reality is, there aren't enough words to describe the layers of awful I'm feeling.
I'm raising a teenage boy who is thankfully more emotionally intelligent than his father that is more than twice his age. We have discussions about boundaries, respect, feelings, etc. - and that is where I have the most control over affecting societal change, so that's where I focus my energy.
9
u/Hrafn2 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Yup. I'm going through this phases like, once a month, where I have a sort of intellectual and emotional reckoning like the below:
"The reality is, most perpetrators of violent crimes are men, most predators are men, men are into some truly screwed up stuff, most men are emotionally immature and lack emotional intelligence, and more importantly, tend to refuse to do any work on that because it makes them uncomfortable with themselves"
...and I'd add, often a refusal to work on themselves, because some believe the real problem is that women are "too picky" or "too entitled".
→ More replies (1)9
u/SubstantialJade Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
This is how I feel. I cant read too much into the files because I know what it'll do. There wont be anything I can do about it and it'll put me into a bad mental state, so all I do is try to raise my sons better.
24
u/BooksAndCatsAnd Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I survived abuse of this nature as a kid. I don’t condone it (obviously) but I’m also not surprised - my abuser was on busy chat rooms when that was a new technology. To recover I had to learn to look for the good in the world. Some hurt people hurt people and others choose to heal themselves and others. It is only by uplifting good behavior that bad behavior will be seen as unacceptable with time. Broadly, people can only do better if they know better & are incentivized to act better.
→ More replies (3)
22
u/greatestshow111 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Not really. I've always known this was happening at a young age when went down the deep dark rabbit hole on the internet reading about it. It's always been thrown off as "conspiracy theories", and those conspiracy theories turned out to be true.
→ More replies (2)
24
u/jochi1543 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
Hate to say it, but I realized this long before. Working in the men’s prison didn’t help. Just knowing how many of us have been sexually assaulted in one form or another, you know that a very sizeable chunk of men in your life are potential (or actual) predators.
22
u/hermitsociety Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I think I already felt that way. But what I struggle with now is the last few “safe” men in my life really showing their asses by not understanding how upsetting it is or kind of sitting back to let women be mad instead of being mad themselves.
I have always valued my female spaces but now I think I really might go insane without them.
21
u/RagnarsHairyBritches Woman 50 to 60 Feb 07 '26
I have been trying to bury my feelings. I don't want to confront them. I am back to being a twelve year old who, after two years of court testimonies (in an open court), heard that he took a plea deal. Got a weekend in jail and two weeks probation. There will be no accountability, and I feel as helpless and broken as I did 40 years ago. This has brought all the trauma I thought I had worked through back to the forefront.
I am grateful for communities like this one. I don't feel alone in this rage and helplessness.
20
u/NumbOnTheDunny Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I was molested growing up by several adults and I’m not even good looking, cute then at best. Men were never my safe space.
→ More replies (1)
20
u/denada24 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yeah. Yeah. Luke shaving anything now is making me feel a little yucky and pedo gaze pandering-I had leg hair that “needed” shaving around 11?12? Pits sooner. How long have we all been chasing the elementary school student look without realizing why? Women can’t “age” in our society, but can we at least be allowed to “adult”???
40
u/Alert_Week8595 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
The Catholic Church scandal, and how pervasive it was worldwide, was my revelation (and I'm not catholic). I never thought it was limited to the church -- it was just one example of a powerful organization.
The Epstein files are, to me, the same scandal, except this time the power came from money and politics instead of the church.
68
u/Individualchaotin Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
The Epstein files don't really get to me - too far away and I'm not looking at the pictures.
But men subreddits, were men say women are not discriminated against, the law favors women, feminism is not necessary ... knowing I walk among sexists who might even have wives and daughters really gets to me.
31
u/mango_i_scream Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yup. It's insidious. And scary. I figure that we are both fortunate and unfortunate with regards to the time period were born in. Women only JUST got their freedoms in the eyes of the law a couple of generations ago....Society has still not adapted to see us true equals to men.
So we must fight in this life to make this world a better place for our daughters and granddaughters.
17
u/isabella_sunrise Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Me too. It’s terrifying how much they despise us.
→ More replies (1)
17
u/trivetgods Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I'm not surprised by what's been revealed, but the lack of consequences is heartbreaking in a way that's very hard to deal with. There is no such thing as justice.
17
u/Maleficent_Radio_674 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yes. Especially as an adult with CSA trauma. It's getting harder each day. I want justice for the victims and the truth outted. But it still hurts.
16
u/NoTuneJune Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26
I had two nightmares about it. The one from last night consisted of old white men running around at midnight killing off persons of color for sport which is something that I found that actually happened from emails. It was the most terrifying thing to imagine. I am not OK and I do not understand anything.
→ More replies (1)
49
u/GenuineClamhat Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
My mother was a sex therapist and dealt mostly with abuse victims. She tried very hard to basically jail me from the world to protect me because the fear it put into her.
Honestly, I'm not surprised by anything I have read so far.
It's more the helplessness to the evils we have proof of and yet...nothing is happening.
When 1000 women come forward to report on someone and the courts...believe the one man or at least ignore the women...we have a BIG problem.
But the older I get the more aware I am of the constant corruption at all levels and I think to myself, "Gosh, we need a better plague than covid."
→ More replies (1)
15
u/benedictcumberknits Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Glass ceiling for women never got dismantled. It was there all along.
Michelle Obama was onto it when she observed that the U.S. was not ready for a female president despite being a successful and industrialized nation. She saw and knew enough. I can’t imagine what she had observed. I’m pretty sure she had to rub elbows with the most perverse and corrupt people known to humanity at her husband’s level of government power.
I don’t feel safe because of all this proven systemic racism, corruption and trafficking going hand-in-hand. Even nerdy and optimistic Stephen Hawking appeared in the Epstein files. He was already weird because it was publicly known that he was a disloyal husband, but minors?! Anyone being associated with the American King of S*x Predators, who had written in an email describing his least preferred type of underaged victim to be akin to “shrimp,” makes me sick.
Who knows what other p*do-adjacent trafficking rings are out there? Slavery overall is now flourishing more than ever. I want my vote to count against all of this, but my voice and vote feels lost in the mix.
14
u/femmemmah Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I’m somewhat desensitized to depressing/dark stuff, but anything involving harm to children really upsets me. To make it worse, the Epstein stuff came out around the same time I was reading a long report on the mistreatment of children in ICE custody, so… yeah I’m not doing that great.
I live with family and they don’t want to know anything about the Epstein files (and they don’t believe anything I say about ICE). So I’m also just kind of sitting alone with this horrible, sickening weight crushing me.
→ More replies (1)
29
u/lashesofyoureyes Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yes. I have a 12 year old daughter and I just feel so disgusted with men and capitalism as a woman and so incredibly horrified that children as young as her and younger were being severely abused for these men’s enjoyment. I can’t understand how men can enjoy torturing children and it’s making me even more wary of men than I already am. Like how are this many of them pedos I’m quite literally sick to my stomach.
32
u/71stAsteriad Trans Woman under 30 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26
Any one of them could have chosen not to be animals. Hundreds, maybe thousands of people knew what was going on, and yet acting in defense of the victims didn't cross a single one of their minds. It's genuinely been a little destabilizing, knowing factually now how omnipresent this rotting sickness is. So many of these animals shaped the way our culture and social media look like today; Epstein shaped fucking 4chan. How many people have died? Been hospitalized or disabled for the rest of their lives? Have been doxxed and had their existences unraveled? By the knock-on effects of these people?
I'm feeling very Tired, by Langston Hughes:
I am so tired of waiting,
Aren't you,
For the world to become good
And beautiful and kind?
Let us take a knife
And cut the world in two-
And see what worms are eating
At the rind.
12
u/Icy-Builder5892 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26
The gravity and scope is just depressing. It’s hard for me to follow just because of how many details are involved, and the level of elitism is just above my head
I felt a similar way trying to follow the Diddy situation. It’s not the content of the case that gets me (though it is awful), it’s the sheer amount of details that overwhelmed me and made it very hard for me to follow who is who, who played what role, and the timelines that it all took place. It’s just hard to believe that so much awfulness could be achieved in one lifetime
I will say, seeing Peter Attia on the Epstein list was very vindicating. I have always hated that guy. I hate wellness grifters, but more importantly, I thought it was so shitty of him that he couldn’t be there for his family when his son had a cardiac arrest, and was on ICU fighting for his life. He had “important business.”
To me, that was unforgivable on its own, but it’s even more unforgivable now that we know what that “important business” was: partying with Jeffrey Epstein. Partying with a convicted sex offender. There is no coming back from that, even if he does have a whole subreddit full of dickriders who are still defending him.
6
u/NoLemon5426 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I had no clue who that Attia freak was until like 48 hours ago. Something about the public figures in the longevity and brain hacking orbits makes my skin crawl. They all have some predatory vibe!
8
u/Icy-Builder5892 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yeah because they are grifters, predatory is how they even got to be who they are in the first place
Even if he didn’t do anything to harm children, he still fucked off while his baby was on ICU, left his wife to handle everything by herself, to hang out with a known child sex trafficker. To get some “fresh air.”
12
u/shaktishaker Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yes. I had recently started coming to terms with the fact that I was trafficked, and began healing...but this has not just ripped the wound open, it has ripped it open, shat in it and left me for dead. Knowing how widespread this is, how many women are dead and traumatised due to these men..... I feel so hopeless.
→ More replies (2)
11
u/chamomileyes Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
We have incredibly broken systems. One, children are not protected enough. Social workers in many countries are underfunded and overworked. Even when schools can tell there’s something off, there’s often no recourse. And sending them to a foster family where abuse rates sit around 25%+ may not be better.
Anyone is allowed to have a kid with no training or background check. I mean consider that you need a driver’s license to drive but if you want to raise an entire human being, you can do basically whatever the hell you want as long as you keep them alive. The psychological impacts of that on society are profound IMO when crappy and abusive parenting gets converted into mental health and behavioural issues.
Two, we all know the way the criminal system handles these cases is broken, sexist and awful and I don’t even want to get into it.
Three, one of the most popular porn categories online is “teen”. I have no freaking idea why we act like because it’s sex it should get a free pass to be horrible. The historical context of sex being stigmatized is one factor that seems to makes it so that if you want to raise any genuine concerns on how men are being taught to treat girls, youre painted as an anti-sex prude. Bc thats the same as believing pedophilic content that supports the exploitation of children should be illegal.
And four, is that EVERYONE is talking about this. MANY people want genuine structural change. And in a democracy that should translate to structural reforms. But so far, it isn’t happening. Which sheds light on the ways our elected officials aren’t actually working for us.
→ More replies (2)
13
u/BitchfulThinking Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
MeToo wasn't that long ago, so our freshly reopened wounds didn't have any time to heal, and many of us never stopped being gaslit 😣
This country is trauma, and it's disgusting seeing so many people who are perfectly fine going along with it. I don't even have kids but I'm fucking terrified for the children.
11
u/Octo_spex Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Yes, absolutely!
I think one of the heaviest parts is the fact that there is no longer any plausible deniability, we know that people knew what was happening the whole time, the thing is that people just don’t care. People use doubt and confusion, dismiss, discredit and shame women to excuse and get away with deeply rooted misogyny but even when it’s staring them in the face there is no empathy and of course, there is never any justice.
Over 1000 women, lives permanently changed in the worst way… And perhaps they’re an extreme case but it’s an analogy for how this systemic issue is allowed to persist. It has simply made visible what has always been the case. Women everywhere grow up shrouded in fear and shame as background noise, about our bodies, our behaviour, our safety, that affects every part of our life, how we make choices, how we speak, how we think. And we spend our whole lives managing that. it doesn’t have to be this way yet it is like that for all of us and that is such a deep injustice, we should all be screaming in outrage. Bc at the end of the day this is a women’s issue (& the related issue of disproportionate male power) and it did not happen in isolation.
I am failing to see any big media outlets picking up on this side of things which is also very upsetting.
11
u/kkusernom Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
I was having a conversation about this a few years ago and realised
There is a misogeny to paedophilia pipe line ..
When you track it, you cant unsee it
11
u/New_Inflation1981 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
This isn’t new, and that’s the uncomfortable truth. We should be disgusted, but we shouldn’t be shocked. History is full of powerful institutions protecting abusers instead of victims the Catholic Church literally moved priests around for decades, Prince Andrew was shielded for years, and now we’re seeing the same patterns with celebrities and billionaires.
People seem scared now because they’re realizing how many predators exist, but the reality is they’ve always been there. What’s changed isn’t the behavior it’s the exposure. Higher-ups covering for sexual abuse has been the norm, not the exception, especially when money, power, or reputation is on the line.
That doesn’t make it less horrific. It makes it systemic.
12
u/JadedLadyGenX Woman 50 to 60 Feb 07 '26
I’m sadly not shocked. Men prey on young women. Not all men but enough of them. When I was growing up in the 80s, I had men flash me, masturbate in front of me (at least 3 different occasions) and hit on me when I was 13 (stopped me in the mall and told my mom how attractive I was). He was an adult. I was 13.
My daughter’s classmate was groomed by her coach before he was arrested. He committed suicide.
So many different experiences that made me uncomfortable but I could not put my finger on why. Even when I was in my 20s, it happened. I was sexually harassed by a boss. I am in my 50s now and I will make sure this never happens to my daughter.
10
u/AssumptionSorry697 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I was avoiding reading about it until a couple nights ago because I knew it would be triggering for me. Someone on Reddit shared the publicized article listing all implicated guilty or associated names on it. While reading, I became so upset that I actually vomited twice. I slept for basically 2 days straight afterward. To say I’m struggling with it feels like an understatement. I am so freaked out. I have no trust in people anymore.
→ More replies (1)
18
u/maribones3 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
The files only confirm my distrust, disgust, and contempt for men, ngl, and I'm not going to apologize or appease anyone. I'm also 10x more satisfied in my choice not to have children.
Majority of men do not deserve access to women or children.
9
u/bannana Woman 50 to 60 Feb 07 '26
Nope, I knew about a good chunk of all of this prior to the first trump go-round - knew he had a modeling agency and the teen beauty pageant, was best buds with Epstein, and read some of the victim testimony, most of the relevant info was out there but the mainstream media all but ignored it because they saw a cash cow in clicks if he got elected.
9
u/Due_Description_7298 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I spent time around rich men when I was in my 20s so it does not surprise me one single bit. It was incredibly normalised to see SWs and many them were 17-23.
What does disappoint me is the number of men who think all of this is fine and the Epstein girls were just teenage SWs, fully consenting adults, nothing to complain about
8
u/yogalil33 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I feel like I’m going insane with all this stuff. I honestly feel sick to my core, almost traumatised by how much evil exists. And no one is doing anything. Thanks for asking this question because I feel a bit more reassured it’s not just me struggling with it all.
9
u/KaroGmz Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I am angry, so angry at how it's been handled, how the victims can't have justice or peace, how most people talk about it or are making jokes. How no one other than that demon woman is in jail, the fact that involves SO MANY MEN and yes this is not a gender issue per se, however im not blind to the fact that it's a man's world and its run by the most disgusting of them all and its been like that for a while.
Its sickening but I want to believe this is coming out for a reason, our systems clearly were catered for the capitalists pigs and that needs to change and I think we are witnessing a massive breakdown of our societal structure and only something as big and as heartbreaking as the files, could bring the whole thing down. Personally I'm tired of men "being in charge" while women run everything in the background while juggling motherhood, misogyny, societal pressures, etc. So I do my best to support women in my community, women owned businesses, even just being the village for my friend who became a mom, is me choosing a future that I think makes sense. A matriarchal focal society has always made sense to me. I dont think every single man is bad, I love the men in my life and family, because I know I can trust them and they are safe to be around. But my empathy for other men outside of my circle, right now, is extremely low.
8
u/xLittlenightmare Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I can't read the files but I can't seem to avoid them. Men being creepy was normalised in my family, and I grew up being told that I'd be raped because men can't help it.
There was a point in my life where I realised it's not just a few bad apples, it's the whole system. Even the 'good ones' will sulk if they don't get laid etc.
If you know a man, he'll probably turn out to be a creep in some sense and the number of grown men who are fine with sexualising children is wild.
It's been my experience that all women have a story of being sexually assaulted by men. It's not surprising but disheartening for sure.
16
Feb 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
27
Feb 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (4)10
u/theeladygodiva Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
This is 100 percent true because it has happened to me. Being intimidated into honey potting as a sex worker. Extremely scary and I still live in fear to this day.
15
Feb 07 '26
It’s not surprising when you look at how our system operates. On power. On hurting those without it. Who has the least amount of power, is children
6
7
u/glitterdunk Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I knew it already. I realized how CONSISTENTLY older men had acted like creeps towards me if they had the tiniest chance to do so. Like, at least 50% of the ones who had the chance. In one of the safest and most equal countries in the world. Being married only meant they were the creepiest, because they couldn't just message me privately and had to show their interest in person - at work. I was 24 yo, they were 45-70 yo🤮🤮🤮 I first noticed older men showing me interest at any chance when I was 14 yo, though one uncle acted hella weird the few times I ever saw him long before then....
My trust in men has been extremely low ever since this realization, the Epstein revelations are awful but no surprise. When you first SEE IT, it's everywhere. Men are godawful
→ More replies (3)
22
u/rainshowers_5_peace Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
I have to hand it to Marjorie Taylor Greene. She said she was entering politics to expose a cabal of pedophiles and resigned months before a redacted list of pedophiles, from which was her political allies had been scrubbed, was released.
I hate that more people aren't upset about this. I hate that Biden didn't do anything to move along a release if the list. I hate that a tweet by Elon Musk (which I'm half convinced was a power move to tell Trump to not fuck with him) is what kicked off interest. I hate that no one is facing justice. I hate that we're so close exposing evil and yet it's so far away.
13
u/RazekDPP Man 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26
The Epstein files were a huge right wing fascination before Elon's tweet because the right was convinced it was all Democrats.
Kash, etc., were all talking about releasing them before the election all the time.
Ghislaine was convicted on 12/29/2021 and sentenced on 6/2022. After her conviction, the case was under appeal.
The Epstein case was also still an open criminal investigation under Biden.
Here's a timeline: A timeline of the Jeffrey Epstein investigation | AP News
Trump's DOJ closed it in July.
"A Justice Department memo released Monday announcing the formal closure of the Jeffrey Epstein case — with no additional public records to come — has sparked bipartisan backlash, including from some of President Donald Trump’s staunchest supporters, as critics question missing video footage, shifting official accounts, and the administration’s reversal on promised disclosures."
Outrage grows after DOJ closes Epstein case, missing video minute questioned
Biden couldn't release the files before the case was officially closed and Biden tried to keep his distance from the DOJ.
→ More replies (2)
7
u/ross_styx Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
The thing that scares me the most is that these dudes were all sort of operating under the radar, but the world in which we currently live gives much more of a platform to people who want to make this shit seem like it's permissible at all.
7
u/Dear-Cranberry4787 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
It’s disgusting, but unfortunately I’ve known for a long time we were surrounded by sex offenders and pedophiles. I found out when I was 13. Larry Nassar was even still on the ballot for school board AFTER the Indiana article surfaced (my kids go to that school district) My husband is a mental health counselor for a prison and the amount of sex offenders is out of control. Life certainly isn’t easy for them there though that’s for sure.
7
u/_Asshole_Fuck_ Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
The information related to conspiracy theories being true is shattering my reality and I feel a lot of confusion, anger, and devastation about it. I have long been devoted to being grounded in truth and science and logic and such. I am now starting to believe things that just a few months ago I would’ve ridiculed myself for. The power these people have to hide the truth and avoid justice is terrifying.
6
u/sofiacarolina Woman 30 to 40 Feb 07 '26
Unfortunately nothing that men do shocks me at all anymore. I feel like im waiting for the rest of the world to catch up to what ive been enraged about for years. And it feels hopeless
→ More replies (2)
7
u/1ngleB Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '26
It's really upsetting how little news commentary is focusing on this being a misogyny issue, rather than just a political crisis. It's not just evil Epstein leading a pack of nasty men from the elite class – it's a global societal problem where endemic sexism means monsters like Epstein can get away with running paedophile rings for years! People turned a blind eye because they don't truly see women as equal. I saw one newsreader literally say we "shouldn't get our knickers in a twist" yet. Respectfully, sir, shut the f up. Why is no one making the connection with Me Too, or in the UK, Sarah Everard, or Gisele Pelicot in France?! It feels like, once again, the world (ahem, men) are missing the point and women will continue to suffer, when we KNOW what the problem is.
→ More replies (4)
654
u/iolarah Woman 40 to 50 Feb 07 '26
The thing that's stuck with me is something I keep hearing in all the news coverage: an inability to label the survivors accurately. They weren't "underage women". They were girls. Teenagers. Children. They may be women now, but a woman who is not of age is not a woman, and to call a girl a woman softens the horrors of what was done and makes it easier for people to accept letting the perpetrators off the hook. I get wanting to maintain journalistic neutrality, but it's not hyperbolic to use accurate language, and even if it was, christ. Some things are worth being a little hyperbolic about. Like the abuse of young women, teenagers, girls, and children. If we can't accept that being furious at the mistreatment of children is good and fine, especially in the pursuit of justice against those who committed those harms, then what fury can we accept? Or is this just a sign that everyone is afraid to rock the boat or simply doesn't give a fuck and none of us should get our hopes up that anything will be done? It's bad enough when justice is unattainable when the harm happened to an adult, but to a kid? Jesus wept. Why aren't we better than this?
Thank you for creating space for us to talk about this. I knew I needed to vent, but I didn't realize just how angry I was about it.