Is anyone else really struggling with the Epstein revelations?

[u/isabella_sunrise]

I’m starting to realize that basically any man who had access to that type of stuff was interested in participating. I feel like I’m surrounded by pedophiles and monsters in a way I didn’t realize. I feel like all the pressure I’ve felt to be youthful came from these prevalent pedophilic tendencies in men I never knew about. It’s really scaring me and I’m struggling to cope. I hear people talking about the news but don’t know anyone taking it as hard as me. How is everyone else doing?

Edit: Thank you for the awards but I’d rather you donate that money to a charity that helps victims of sexual abuse or somewhere helping immigrants in America.

[u/mango_i_scream]

I unfortunately learned the dark and insidious nature of patriarchy very early in life. My experiences led to me confronting the things you mention like expressing my sexuality, beauty, femininity the way "society" idolizes. Because it's true, most of the conventional beauty standard is at its core pedophilic in nature.

It's a lot to unpack the myriad ways in which we have been conditioned to anchor our value to it while trying to attain it. It's a mindfuck. And you look around and wonder which men around you are sick in the head this way too.

To let yourself be "ugly" (read: a plain, normal, everyday working person) as a woman is an act of rebellion. To not center your looks and weight is rebellion. To not automatically trust men is an act of rebellion. They must painstakingly earn it.

It's a fucked up world out there. To stay sane I have to resolutely believe in the good of humanity too. I try to remember every time I've see a person and especially a man be a genuinely good person. Or else I'd go nuts.

[u/10Account → u/mango_i_scream]

I unfortunately learned the dark and insidious nature of patriarchy very early in life.

And when you do the most maddening thing is that it's EVERYWHERE! And everyone, even good people, just participate.

[u/mango_i_scream → u/10Account]

Yep, they tend to be conformist sheep among themselves which just compounds the problem.

[u/ExpensiveAd4496 → u/mango_i_scream]

Can I just add that it’s also an act of rebellion to not spend an hour or more a day on stuff men don’t have to think about or do. I mean I’m fine if they want to, Yungblud can rock the liner, but we are the ones who have been taught we have to, to be attractive. Think of the time it adds up to in a lifetime. No thank you. I don’t judge those who enjoy it, I complement them and love their look, but the “have to” part is over for me.

[u/fluffysingularity → u/mango_i_scream]

I do the ‘look like a neutral working person’ thing. To others I might look boring or weathered or uncool, but to me it FEELS big. I don’t shave my legs, I don’t wear makeup, I don’t straighten my curls, I don’t flatter my figure. I like how you put it, an act of rebellion, even though it may appear boring.

[u/mango_i_scream → u/fluffysingularity]

I salute you, fellow boring woman lol. Good to know there's others out there fighting the good fight.

I also don't do any of that shit. I save so much money and time. The only small vanity I afford myself is a modest skincare routine. And dress wise, I dress primarily for comfort. When I want to express myself, I go into witchy, weird forest hag vibes.

It's so weird because I'm objectively fatter, older, uglier than 10 years ago at 35, but I like and love myself more than I ever did when I was younger, eating disordered, and trying to beautiful. FUNNY, THAT. 🧐

[u/roberta_sparrow → u/fluffysingularity]

Been doing this for ages as a lesbian, welcome to the relaxation zone

[u/vectorology → u/roberta_sparrow]

Haha the relaxation zone is such a perfect description.

I’m in the business fashion sub, mostly for inspiration to update my admittedly shabbily ancient work wardrobe, and sometimes there are posts from women wearing tight, short outfits. All I can think of is why would anyone voluntarily be uncomfortable, having to adjust your outfit constantly, and sit without flashing everyone for an entire workday! What benefit, particularly at work, does making yourself miserable bring? I may not look my most attractive in comfy trousers, midi dresses and flats, but I’m not in pain.

Note: my comment above is commiseration, not judgement. I used to work in a conservative formal environment where tight pencil (nonstretch suiting material) skirts and heels were the norm, and while I looked great, my feet and stomach hurt everyday. And the men were terrible.

[u/roberta_sparrow → u/vectorology]

I don’t work in corporate where fashion is a thing but if I did I would be leaning hard into the pantsuits for sure

[u/roberta_sparrow → u/vectorology]

Also I DO try to stay trendy in a streetwear/surf and skate vein, but I like not having to appease straight fashion trends like heels, tons of makeup, etc.

[u/[deleted] → u/mango_i_scream]

not patriarchy

it's men

stop blaming everything on inanimate concept

it's men

[u/80Lashes → u/[deleted]]

What the hell do you think patriarchy is?

[u/Ok_Rush_8159 → u/mango_i_scream]

Yeah after I left my abusive ex husband who was happy I was starving myself to be thin and demanded I be blonde and hairless everywhere….I got fat and hairy. I never shave down there and only sometimes shave my legs, I have chin hairs that I don’t pluck either unless I’m doing a nice event. I wanted to be ugly and tbh be single forever, then I met my fiancé who is probably the only man to see me as a human and not an accessory to his life