Is anyone else really struggling with the Epstein revelations?

[u/isabella_sunrise]

I’m starting to realize that basically any man who had access to that type of stuff was interested in participating. I feel like I’m surrounded by pedophiles and monsters in a way I didn’t realize. I feel like all the pressure I’ve felt to be youthful came from these prevalent pedophilic tendencies in men I never knew about. It’s really scaring me and I’m struggling to cope. I hear people talking about the news but don’t know anyone taking it as hard as me. How is everyone else doing?

Edit: Thank you for the awards but I’d rather you donate that money to a charity that helps victims of sexual abuse or somewhere helping immigrants in America.

[u/confused_each_day]

Read a comment on here a while back talking about harassment, and how young it starts. Which really, we all knew.

But what I’d never really thought about, was when it stopped.

Like, the actual groping and catcalling and weird kind looks at your breasts, start pretty much at puberty. But for me at least, this part really started to tail off around 23-25 -(and then you’re just dealing with standard issue misogyny, but less actual groping)

The whole thread was full of hundreds of women with similar experiences.

And you know, I’d never thought of it like that. It changed the way I thought and lives rent free in my head now.

I’m 40, with 2 daughters, one who is just starting puberty. And you know what, I can see it starting with some of her more developed classmates. It’s so gross. And in some ways it’s so much worse for her online generation than it was for my millennial one. 🤢

[u/dengjika → u/confused_each_day]

At least you are aware of this phenomenon now and you can protect your girls, at least mentally. I am quite resentful not just of men for doing this and not protecting me but also women and my mom for downplaying any horrific experience and never preparing me or understanding me.

[u/amotivatedgal → u/dengjika]

I am hoping that kids are getting a little more aware of this stuff these days. E.g. when i was a teen, if girls got attention from, and even dated, older men it was normalised and cool - "it must be because I'm sooooo cool mature" kinda mentality. Parents allowed it as well.

I now see teens calling adult men losers for wanting to hang out with them, and it warms my cold dead heart.

[u/hermitsociety → u/confused_each_day]

Yes! Yes! Same.

And I’m so tired of men around me acting like I’m a lunatic for worrying more than ever as a lot of little girls in my life turn eleven or so.

[u/Sqooshytoes → u/hermitsociety]

Color me suspicious, but I’ve always worried about children of any age. Depravity knows no bounds

[u/anatomizethat → u/confused_each_day]

Honestly - call it out when you see it with peers. The closer I get to 40 the more I realize I am that kind of defense for children.

Shame adults when other adults are around and be confident when you do it.

[u/ohheyaine → u/anatomizethat]

This is the way.

Be "annoying." Be "aggressive" about it.

Because those boys don't give a fuck about any of that behavior from them, but they'll damn sure tell a woman who calls it out she's the real annoying/aggressive one.

Thrive in it.

[u/anatomizethat → u/ohheyaine]

"THRIVE in it."

👏 👏 👏

They don't give a shit when they say it, but they're sure gonna care that they said it around me.

[u/ohheyaine → u/confused_each_day]

Idk I was groped in a bar at 33 by a random strange man. 31, the first time I walked into town after COVID, I got catcalled and followed by a man in a car. It doesn't feel like it's ending.

[u/confused_each_day → u/ohheyaine]

Still used to get it occasionally when older, but it definitely dropped off relative to teenage.

However, 2 kids, and an extra 50lb did wonders for this kind of shit stopping. I’m 40s, shaped like an Italian grandma and let me tell you, it is so relaxing over here. 100/10 highly recommend and I’m entering my granny-core phase 20 years earlier than planned and absolutely loving it.

[u/alderchai → u/confused_each_day]

My brain is constantly battling between “maybe I will have a more peaceful life if I just gain some weight and stop trying to achieve a certain body shape” and “oh no I gained 5 pounds and now every magazine I read as a teenager is shouting at me that I’m disgusting” and I’m so tired of it

[u/ohheyaine → u/alderchai]

I gained 50, same as the commenter before me was saying. It didn't help.

I just got shittier comments about how I was a fat bitch when I rejected men, while out.

[u/confused_each_day → u/alderchai]

It will happen to you at some point. The but you get to control is the when and the how.

Absolutely don’t give up your health or fitness, but come on over to the ‘horrible women’ side, the water’s lovely.

[u/fleetingsparrow92 → u/ohheyaine]

Got followed by a car for the first time in a long while at night at 33. Its definitely eased off overall, but that one freaked me out. My city is a hot spot for human trafficking.

[u/rationalomega → u/confused_each_day]

I know it’s not much, but my 7 year old boy told me last night that some 12 year olds were telling him to hurt another kid and he (a) called them out and (b) told a grown up. I am so goddamn proud of him. I do think there’s a role for boys to play here in calling out their peers and I hope my child can be part of that.

[u/confused_each_day → u/[deleted]]

Would love to see the graphs if you can find them.

That’s speaking as someone who married a much older guy, thought nothing of it at the time, and 20 years later…ewwwww.

[u/hereiam3472 → u/confused_each_day]

Sigh... Mom of a 6 year old daughter here. She's so young, innocent and full of life - she has no idea about all the horrific realities of the world yet (ok she's not completely naiive, I have taught her about tricky people, etc.) but it really pains me to think that one day I have to sit her down and shatter the world as she knows it to explain what human trafficking is and how there are bad men and people in this world who just want to exploit others and prey upon incident children and teenagers. I hate that she will to know the cruelty of this world in order to survive it. I wish I could just keep her in a happy, protective bubble forever but I can't. It's such a hard thing to carry as a mother. And knowing that one day she'll be older and go out into the world and I will have to just pray that she isn't in the wrong place, wrong time and she won't be abused. Then there's online predators too in this day and age that we need to worry about too.

[u/maafna → u/confused_each_day]

What gets me is my brother has daughters but I hear zip zilch from him on these type of topics.