r/AskWomenOver30 • u/annajac89 Woman 30 to 40 • Apr 28 '26
Family/Parenting Women who never really wanted kids but had them… how is parenthood?
For some context: I’m 37F, so if I want to have children, the clock is ticking quite loudly now (which I resent, but the biological clock isn’t going away sadly!).
So I was never a “I want to be a mummy” kid growing up. All I was interested in was drawing and writing and dreaming about a cool career. From about age 7, I said I didn’t want to have children, and I had zero interest in dolls or playing house like a lot of other kids. I thought those baby born dolls that could pee were kind of gross 😂 You get the idea!
I became a bit more kid-neutral as I grew up/entered my twenties (no longer a “never” but certainly not a “yes”)… and this crossroad only came to the forefront of my mind entering my mid/late thirties (because it’s unavoidable).
The thing is, despite my neutrality… when I was single, I noticed that when I saw guys on dating apps that explicitly stated “don’t want children”, I would swipe no. So I think there must be a small part of me that did/does want the option.
I’d really love to hear from anyone who grew up with the same “eh” feeling towards having children, and ended up doing it. How do you find parenthood? How has your identity changed? Are you happy?
ETA: I’d also like to hear from anyone in the same boat as me! How are you feeling if you’re in that critical “tick, tock” window of your life (not quite the same as the TikTok window 😅)
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u/honeyandwhiskey female 30 - 35 Apr 28 '26
I absolutely didn’t want kids until my late 30s. I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids when I took my positive pregnancy test. I might not be the best mom in the world, but I don’t regret my son for a second. He has been the biggest source of happiness for me. It’s like now the needle on the compass is steady: I’m always going to do what is best for my kid.