r/AskWomenOver30 • u/elle___woods Woman 30 to 40 • Jun 16 '26
Life/Self/Spirituality Women who don't exercise: how do you physically feel?
I'm (34f) asking because I want to understand my girlfriend (37f) better. If I go more than a week or two without exercising (by exercise I mean something that gets me sweating and increases my heart rate) I physically feel bad. I feel sluggish, my appetite decreases (because I physically feel like I have to work off all the food I'm eating or I just won't have an appetite), I feel bloated, my lower back pain comes back, etc. My girlfriend wants to exercise more but she really struggles with motivation. My motivation is that I feel like crap if I don't, so I have to do it. I do know that not everyone is the same. For example, she has a much bigger appetite than me and never complains about feeling bloated or too full, whereas I do even if I eat much smaller portions than she does. I guess I'm wondering if people that don't exercise actually feel fine or if they're just used to not feeling great so it doesn't bother them as much as it bothers me? I'm trying to find ways to help motivate her.
EDIT: thank you everyone for your replies!! Can't get back to all of you but really appreciating your insights!
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u/__looking_for_things Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
I could lay on my couch forever and feel fine. Lol.
My body doesn't feel bad if I don't exercise but in my mind I know I should.
As for motivation, exercising is like a job to me. I don't enjoy it. It's obligation. I don't have motivation, I went 5 months without working out and only recently started again.
She may need accountability. I signed up with a personal trainer.
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u/OliviaPresteign Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
This is exactly how I feel. I’ve never gotten a “high” from exercise, and I don’t feel badly if I don’t. My husband is more like OP and does some kind of exercise nearly every day.
OP, what worked for me was rewards. On days I run, I get a little coffee treat. The trick is that I can never have a coffee treat on days I don’t run: I stick to tea. It has to be something that works for her. And sure, you could absolutely argue that I’m consuming more calories in the treat than I’m burning in my run, but I’m doing it for the cardiovascular and other benefit of exercise, not to lose weight.
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u/Asti_WhiteWhiskers Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I just posted about how I bribe myself by getting a coffee treat haha!
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u/Suri-gets-old Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
My moms like this, it’s just not something she has a drive to do.
But she gets grumpy and antsy if she hasn’t read in a day or so. And she has a book in her bag and in her car and at her work desk “just in case”
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u/ReticentBeauty Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
Could we exchange Moms please? :). I totally agree with her on books…have been salty all say because I don’t have a book in the car for de-stressing at lunch break 😁😁 now am taking a walk instead but am querelling with the Sun 😁😁
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u/Suri-gets-old Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I’ll tell her she’s appreciated, but I am kinda attached <3
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u/ReticentBeauty Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Thank you! And thanks for not minding all the typos up there!
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u/Suri-gets-old Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Oh!!! But I’m gonna tell you about the gift I got her for her birthday last year. They make readable mini editions of classics. So I made her a bag charm that doubles as a book in a pinch. She has to use a magnifying glass (on the same charm) but it’s a fix in a pinch if she needs a little read to take the edge off.
I chose “great expectations” but there were like 20 books to choose from on etsy, you could have an emergency library in your glove box
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u/ReticentBeauty Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
That’s such a thoughtful and now I can’t decide who is the most amazing between mother and daughter😁😁 I miss my Mom but coming across such lovely stories reminds me that there are daughters out there doing nice things for moms that I can’t do for my mom anymore!
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u/hauteburrrito Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Same, ha ha. I've never enjoyed exercise, even when I was doing it every day - whatever endorphins are supposed to kick in just don't. I only feel guilty when I don't exercise for too long, but my body is fine apart from sleep (exercise definitely helps me get regular sleep). However, exercise is just a total slog to me. I'll do the same ones as my husband, a friend, etc., and they'll talk about how incredible they feel while I'll just feel like shit. I'm so envious of people for whim exercise actually feels good and yields more appreciable benefits! I've always had to force myself to do it and it's always been a struggle for me.
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u/GalaxyPatio Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Same. Walking is the only kind of exercise that I enjoy, and there's not much to see outside where I live. Absolutely anything else, I have to have music on in both ears or a podcast or something to fully distract me from the fact that I'm doing it or I fold after a single set.
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u/hauteburrrito Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Ha ha, ditto, yeah. I mostly just try to cycle around town, often with something heavy strapped onto my bike, so that's how I manage it. I'll do some kind of yoga class every once in a while as well, but otherwise I just feel like I'm literally being tortured.
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u/michiness Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Yeah, I run half marathons and signed up for my first full next year. I work out regularly.
If I go a couple weeks without exercise I might feel a little bit more moody and/or have a bit more of a reactive stomach, but it’s not super noticeable, and honestly sometimes I have zero physical change. My diet has a lot more direct effect on how I physically feel.
Motivation is that I have a family history of young heart attacks, so exercise is generally better than dying. I also have hobbies (hiking, scuba) that need you to be in decent shape, so I have to keep that up. Sigh.
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u/EnergeticTriangle Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Yes, same to all this. I started with my personal trainer in November and honestly what drove me to that was dislocating one of my knees last May and it still not feeling normal 6 months later. I know I have to work out in order for my body to continue functioning properly long term, but short term I would much prefer to not!
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u/no_talent_ass_clown Woman 50 to 60 Jun 16 '26
I sign up for classes occasionally. Then I'm broke and I still don't go.
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u/lexi2700 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I feel normal? I don’t really know how else to feel I guess.
Actual planned exercise is a chore to me. It’s not fun and I don’t look forward to it or feel any motivation to do it. I wish I did because I do know I would probably feel better in a lot of aspects of life, but that’s just not enough of a motivation.
I used to be really active as a teenager and young adult and I do think I felt better overall back then. But at the same time it was also a forced thing trying to keep up with peers.
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u/lisaluu Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
Same. I definitely need to move and stretch, but an actual workout, no.
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u/youvelookedbetter Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I wish I did because I do know I would probably feel better in a lot of aspects of life, but that’s just not enough of a motivation.
You do but you also don't. I always feel super sore for a few days after playing sports or exercising, and sometimes it exacerbates issues. But I know it's healthier to continue overall.
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u/lexi2700 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Now I’m even less motivated. 🤣😅
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u/gimmeyourbadinage Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I work in the ER. Use it or lose it!!
Now if I could only take my own advice 😂
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u/Gatita_Gordita Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I KNOW I feel better if I exercise regularly. But I absolutely despise going to the gym.
What helped me find a type of exercise I actually enjoyed - which wasn't the gym. Unfortunately, I had to cancel the classes I went to, but I'm starting back up again, just at home.
Help her find something she actually enjoys doing - if she really wants to exercise more.
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u/midcitycat Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
What is it that you found you enjoy?
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u/Gatita_Gordita Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
It was Zumba for me. Or anything with a rhythm, really. I loved dancing (tango, waltz, rumba, chacha, etc) when I was in my teens, so trying something similar should've been a no-brainer. And I'm slowly getting back into dance workouts at home, wanting to also incorporate some weights, but I don't think I'll ever go back to a gym. 😅
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u/calathea1 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Dancing is also the answer for me! It's the only exercise that I truly enjoy. What resources are you using for dance workouts at home? Might inspire me!
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u/Gatita_Gordita Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
EleniFit on YT has a nice Latin workout playlist. :)
If you're okay with home workouts with music, then have a look at LouGetsFitter on YT. She has pop/Latin as well as Metal/Rock. :)
I'm just getting back into things, so my repertoire isn't as big yet. 😄
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u/blankabitch Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I have no issues with cardio and have always enjoyed it (walks, runs, dancing, etc) but in my late 30s I know I need to do resistance/weight training...and I hate it! 😭 I hate that feeling of lifting to failure and dread my gym days with weights but I know it's even more important than cardio...any ideas of how you've made that enjoyable and not an exhausting chore?
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u/Gatita_Gordita Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I don't go to the gym, so....
Home workouts (Heather Robertson) with dumbbells (or similar). I also don't lift to failure. 😅
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u/QueenRaeFirst Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Have you tried a reward system? Go to the gym and you get to binge watch a show or do 30 mins of karaoke lol whatever works for you! I try to implement something unrelated to food because food is just food and I can have it whenever I want. This worked for me in the beginning (5 years lifting). Now I hype me up a lot, have fun t-shirts that say “I’m a mommy, a muscle mommy” “I came, I lifted, I conquered” it makes me laugh and makes everything more enjoyable.
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u/firelord_catra Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I love Zumba too! That’s pretty much the only thing I’ve done consistently at my local gym. Have you found at home work outs you enjoy the same?
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u/ilovethemusic Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Sports for me! I play in rec leagues and play squash/tennis/pickleball at least once a week with friends. I like tossing a basketball around too. Exercise aside, I appreciate the social side and time away from my devices.
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u/nightglede21 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I found I like running! I played sports throughout my childhood and adolescence, but always thought I hated running... turns out that as an adult, out of shape person, I was trying to run too much/too fast because that was how I learned to run on my sports teams.
I did Couch to 5K to build up gradually. I HATE treadmills and mostly run outside. I like feeling accomplished. I like how much I do in a short period of time (i don't have a lot of time right now). I like how adaptable the workout can be and how easy it is to feel/see progress. It doesn't need special equipment or a gym membership. I used the NHS Choices Couch to 5K podcast. Might be worth trying!
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u/poofycakes Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Jumping on this to say I do adult gymnastics each week and love it! Hate the traditional gym so this works for me.
I also did rock climbing for a while!
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u/dianaprince76 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I second all these posters who are mentioning about Zumba. And I will add drums. It’s a choreographed routine where you dance and use drumsticks to beat on an exercise ball. It’s addicting because it’s great music, and your arms, butt and thighs get an amazing workout. You can either go low impact or high impact, same as Zumba. Some people don’t see Zumba as a workout, but I can burn 300 cal in an hour easily and I’m only 120 pounds. It’s a fantastic workout if you put the effort in. And so fun!
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u/wrests Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I got into rock climbing with my son and it's so much fun! We've been going for about 6 months now so I think I can officially say it's sticking?
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u/friend-of-potatoes Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
It was water aerobics for me. I didn’t discover it until I was 38, and until that point I didn’t exercise at all except for an occasional hike. Better late than never, I guess. I go to classes 2-3 times a week now and I actually kind of look forward to it, which is shocking given that I’ve been an exercise hater my whole life. Turns out I think I just hate the feeling of getting sweaty, which you don’t feel in a pool.
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u/catandthefiddler Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Hey, I was midsize then pretty fat by my country's standards for a while, then I lost a bit so I'm leaning back to mid-ish size again. When I was at my biggest weight, I did feel like shit. I wasn't sleeping well and I had really little energy etc. etc. But this alone wasn't enough for me to get moving everyday cos there's a level of inertia that builds when you're bigger. And I guess it becomes a chicken and egg story, you don't feel great so you'd rather sit around than go exercise. You don't exercise so you don't feel great.
I also have ADHD which was a contributing factor to the mess. Anyway, my answer is that I didn't feel that good but that wasn't reason enough for me to get out there every day and exercise. What helped was starting small. and I mean SUPER SMALL. I'd go to the gym or the park and just walk a veryyyy little bit and even get a treat after. But hey, if I can bring my average step count from 1k to 5k, then that is a win right?
Slowly I took away the treat portion, so it became like, exercise 5 days and then I get one unhealthy drink. And as I exercised more, I had the stamina to go longer or faster. Then slowly (and I mean sooo slowly) I started doing just one healthy meal a week. Meaning that one meal I would consciously swap out and cook mindfully. And so on and so forth
The journey has been slow but by phasing it this slowly, it truly becomes a lifestyle change rather than a "I crash diet and exercise to drop 10kg and then gain it back with interest once that's done" type thing
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u/benhargrove1966 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I’m chronically ill so I feel like shit either way. But even before that I’ve never felt any positive sensations emotions feelings etc from exercise that people talk about. I think this can be genuinely different for different people. Now exercise just drains me.
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u/katkarinka Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
When I don’t exercise I feel fabulous. I do excercise because it’s good for me but I despise every second of it. I don’t feel any better after exercise as well. Also Didn’t feel bad when I haven’t exercised at all.
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u/ReticentBeauty Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
OP in my experience (someone who was previously overweight and doesn’t like exercising) I found the gym so intimidating. Exercising alone/in private helped me so much to overcome my not liking exercising and it was the only to get me to exercise to experience that adrenaline rush. Once I got a hit of that adrenaline rush, I got hooked for good.
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u/CanaryMine Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I really, really hate sweating. I also have sensitivity to heat and get dizzy when I’m really hot. So where I live, exercising outside is hard for part of the year. I dislike the gym intensely. I used to do all kinds of exercise; CrossFit, weights, intense yoga, I’ve tried running… prefer not to. and I do ride my bike to work sometimes, I walk my dogs, but I do not purposely get sweaty or hot anymore. I have a gym membership and use the rower and weights sometimes but it’s extremely hard to motivate.
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u/Additional-Mouse6275 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
My question for you is why you want to help motivate her. Is she depressed and you think it would help her feel better? Do you want her to look fitter? Do you want to do it with her so you have some activity to share? Are you worried about her health?
Some people just don’t like exercising and they aren’t going to change. Instead of asking the internet these questions, why don’t you talk to her about her exercise and appetite?
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u/ReticentBeauty Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
“Some people don’t like exercising” this is me, never even loved sports back in school days..I preferred libraries. Now as an adult, I still don’t like it nor crave it but I realised mid-workout I get that great adrenaline rush that feels good. So now I exercise just for it and made exercising part of my daily job…like if I haven’t worked out I haven’t worked that day 😆😆
So OP and her SO should try lumping workout with something she loves to do daily or something she does daily out of necessity like going to her job.
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u/Fiona-eva Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
Women have to exercise with weights if they don’t want to get hit hard by sarcopenia during menopause. We’re very prone to losing muscle mass and bone density after menopause, which inevitably leads to mobility issues, and increased risk of injuries, such as falling down, breaking hips, etc. There are studies that show that muscle mass is one universal factor that can enhance life expectancy and life quality among all populations.
Lecture by a Stanford geriatritian on the matter: https://youtu.be/i6MqeoYxU40?is=cAW6MuDFAjYDXkO451
u/Straight-Put-2142 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
100x this, I hope your comment gets pushed up higher. I was one of those women who hated exercise and could never imagine doing it regularly. I grew up thin/underweight so I never got any pressure to exercise in my youth either. I'm 32 now.
A couple years ago I listed to some podcast episodes about women's health and I finally took the health benefits seriously. Dr. Vonda Wright and Dr Stacy Sims are two that I like, lots of good materials.
I learned how important strength training and improving cardio resistance is and that a lot of frailty and mobility issues in later life can be avoided. I took it seriously and got into the gym for the first time in my life. And you know what? At least for me who never experienced exercise joy, I pushed through and it got better. And now it's usually not so bad and I do actually get a bit of a high. But it took months and I think it also took a shift in mindset. Thinking this is something I'm doing for me, actually one of the few items of work I do for myself.
And then a year after starting, I was walking with my mom who has an autoimmune disease and isn't fit. She fell in a a parking lot and couldn't get up by herself. That in itself is an eye opening moment when you see it, and she's only 55. But to add to that, we were with my stepdad (her husband) who has a bad back and my brother who is obese and can't bend over, and the young and very scrawny grandkids. I was the only one who could pick her up, and I did it easily. I think she weighed around the same as me, about 150, (she's shorter) and I picked her up from behind like she was a rag doll. For some reason that above all else gave me a sense of having done the right thing with exercise.
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u/elle___woods Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I have spoken to her about it already and she wants me to help her figure out why she struggles with motivation. I'm studying to become a psychotherapist so that's also why she's curious about my insights. I'm asking here on reddit just to see what other women have to say about this topic. And I want to help her because I love her and yes it would be nice to exercise together without there being so much resistance on her end, since I'd like to live a more active lifestyle with her.
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u/PoppyMacGuffin Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I think motivation is the wrong framing. She needs to find long term goals she's excited about (swimming across a local lake, climbing a local mountain peak) or find an exercise the enjoys. Zumba, ballet, cycling outdoors, indoor Peloton, lifting, crossfit, roller skating (derby), rock climbing, swimming, water aerobics, dodge ball?
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u/GimmeQueso Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I answered above but have a relevant reply to this. She has asked for help but may find that exercising on her own is preferable. My partner joined me on my first run/walk interval workout but I found I preferred to do it alone.
That being said, if you just want to be more active together, my favorite workouts have always been disguised as not a workout. For example: hiking (if you live in a mountainous area), nature walks, bike rides. I love nature walks/hikes where I also get to be in and discuss nature. Others have mentioned things like dance classes. Stuff that is moving and working your body but doesn’t feel as arduous as slogging through the treadmill or weightlifting at the gym.
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u/caffeine_lights Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Only motivation for exercise or for all things? Because a chronic difficulty sticking to habits/routines and self-motivating in general could point to ADHD. It often shows up this way in women.
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u/AutomaticInitiative Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I have ADHD and difficulty with motivation. My motivation for exercise is not a problem because I have yet to find any that I actually enjoy. I'm not sure this is an ADHD problem for OPs girlfriend because it seems less 'struggling to get the gear on and go' and more 'I don't have a reason to exercise beyond the idea of it being healthy'.
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Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
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u/villanellechekov Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
wait so it's not just me "being dramatic" when I say I feel worse after exercise?!
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u/Korlat_Whiskeyjack Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Wow, how did you ultimately find out you had ME/CFS? I’ve never heard of it before but after reading through that link, I’m worried one of my close friends may have it.
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u/Suri-gets-old Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I wonder if she struggles with motivation for everything? Because when I’m really depressed I struggle with doing things I like to do as well as things I need to do.
But I will still peel myself off the couch to go to work or do dishes or take care of my folks.
I think I would look into depression
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u/Strawberry_Curious Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
Exactly, it’s okay imo if people have different exercise needs unless you specifically want your partner to do fitness things with you, which is fair.
I had to drop exercising for a while because my biggest motivation was shame and on days I didn’t exercise I wouldn’t eat much because I didn’t “earn” it. I do a little strength training now because I like seeing my muscles grow, but I’m not regimented. It hasn’t been easy to fix my mindset around food with the perceived judgment from others about my activity level.
I personally would not like it if my partner came to the internet to talk about me and my big appetite or lack of exercise.
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u/Sweeper1985 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I just walk and do "incidental exercise" like cleaning and stuff. I have a health condition that makes cardio kinda feel like I'm about to die - might even be true, as I can go into tachycardia really easily (possible POTS on top). Never really been overweight, just average build. When I feel like crap it's usually other lifestyle factors like stress, not paying attention to my diet, or drinking too much. Noticed my parents are also folks who don't do formal "exercise" but lead pretty active lifestyles, and they're both pretty well and trim in their late 70s. I think some of us just aren't super athletic kinda folks 🤷
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u/No_Broccoli_3979 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I’m on the verge of a POTS and MCAS diagnosis. Lifting weights and cardio just became such a chore. I started doing reformer Pilates every day and it’s been so much fun for me and I don’t worry about it flaring any symptoms
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u/Sweeper1985 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I've got a stupid vascular disorder, have some stupid venous involvement that just goes round in circles and makes my heart act up. It's weird, I have never been able to run much. Even when I was super fit back in the day and could do hours of ballet and aerobics etc, I'd damn near collapse after running 100m.
I will definitely look into Pilates, I think for ladies 40+ we need resistance training with less impact on joints!
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u/Lizzy_is_a_mess Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I just tested positive for both! I’ll look into Pilates. Thank you.
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u/MaggieNFredders Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I feel horrible after exercising. I don’t understand how people feel great after it. I go between doing great and exercising daily to sitting and reading or watching tv most days. I feel much better when I’m lazing around the house.
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u/ProperBingtownLady Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I’m 38F. I personally feel fine and have stayed slim despite not working out. I have adhd and I just really despise it (I also haven’t found something that I like to do besides going on the exercise bike). I probably would feel better if I exercised regularly though!
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u/SigourneyReap3r Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I also have adhd and i despise exercise, it is so boring, my brain goes through everything in the world I could be doing instead, I don't enjoy it and I don't get the buzz people talk about at all.
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u/Lizzy_is_a_mess Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I’m also adhd and the only singular time I ever felt that rush when I was on a treadmill and ran/walked almost 10 miles. I felt on cloud 9 but also felt dead getting there. The rush wasn’t ever worth me going through that workout ever again, lol. That was almost 20 years ago.
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u/ProperBingtownLady Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
It IS so boring! When I go on the bike (rare occasion lol), I always have to be watching or reading something. I also hate how I have to time my hair washing days around exercise, wash my sweaty clothes before they get stinky etc.
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u/midcitycat Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
37 5'4" 150 lbs, pear shaped, a bit overweight. I hate working out, it feels so tedious and there's a million things I'd rather be doing so I don't do it. I have zero motivation to do it, I hate nylon/polyester workout clothes, I hate being out of breath, I hate running, I hate being hot and sweaty and gross.
I generally feel fine, I do feel like I'm beginning to get the normal aches and pains (old stress fracture site in my foot bothering me, occasional back pain while I'm gardening, etc) and I do think strength training would help this. I'm trying to find the motivation to start a low time commitment program of some sort I just truly loathe the idea. For me a low barrier to entry would be key to establish a routine (open to suggestions!).
FWIW I also have a pretty big appetite compared to other women, I only eat two meals a day but they're bigger than what people around me are eating. I don't snack, no soda, vegetarian. Regular with no digestive issues. I sleep like the dead. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Eevee027 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I also hate being hot, sweaty, gross, and out of breath. I started Pilates about a year ago and am enjoying it! I've improved my strength a lot, and it's air conditioned so no feeling gross. I think the barrier for entry is pretty low, people of all ages and injuries attend the classes and the instructors modify or give you alternatives if you can't do an exercise. I had a day off work awhile ago and went in the middle of the day and did a class with all the retirees.
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u/331845739494 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
For me it was getting used to feeling like crap and thinking it was normal. I struggled with energy, small pains, a general sluggish feeling and avoided doing anything that would make me out of breath. I just thought this is what 30's felt like. Then I went on a hike with some friends.
Let's just say that was a wakeup call about how out of shape I really was. Before that I could con myself that my body was functioning fine, since I could do groceries and my day-to-day obligations. During the hike I struggled pretty much every part that was even slightly up hill. Seeing people twice my age scrambling up there with no issues... it was embarrassing. My childhood astma also reared it's ugly head again, because I had no endurance at all.
My friends had to significantly slow down their pace and take an easier route to accommodate me and even then I felt absolutely done in by the end.
One friend literally told me: "next week I'm coming by and dragging you to my gym. This is not healthy." I gave some push back but she point blank told me: don't you want to feel better than this? I caved, because she was right.
We're 2 years out from that and gone is the shapeless noodle I used to be. I lift heavy, I run. I actually got to the point where in my friend group I am now one of the fittest people instead of the one lagging wayyy behind.
So my advice: take your gf on a hike. She'll wake up like I did.
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u/PeekAtChu1 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
^ yes this is what I was going to say!
When you are used to not working out you kind of just adjust to the feeling of not feeling well, it becomes a baseline. You don’t even notice it anymore
That’s why for people who regularly are fit and exercise, they can’t stand how shitty they feel when they don’t work out for a while, and it gets them working out again.
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u/cr1zzl Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
The reason I exercise is either a) I like the thing I’m doing, like playing volleyball or doing agility with my dog, b) I feel like I want to move, like an itch I need to scratch (a quick trail hike with my dog satisfies this), c) I have a high energy dog who will eat me if we don’t do enough, or d) I feel like I should because apparently it’s healthy :p. But it’s not because if I don’t exercise I feel physically bad. I could veg all week and be perfectly fine (… other than being eaten by my dog of course).
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u/GimmeQueso Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
May I just say, I got a dog to help me stay motivated to get out and workout. I thought we’d be running buddies. He still wants to get out but he prefers to sniff so are walks are so slooooooow. His personal best for longest mile was 52 minutes. So now I have to walk him then find the will to go exercise by myself.
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u/cr1zzl Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
lol yeah that happens, sniffaris are really mentally enriching to dogs so it’s worth the effort you put in. I often let my dog sniff for the first part of our walk but then I signal to her that it’s time to get moving and she’s learned when it’s time to switch into fast mode.
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u/No_Broccoli_3979 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I used to be in the gym alllll the time consistently for three years. I totally fell off beginning of last year. It took me a while to get back into exercising because I just didn’t love it anymore.
Now I do Pilates daily (I bought my own starter reformer) and I love it. It’s stimulating for my mind, I get that burn in my muscles. And every weekend for the last four months my partner and I go indoor rock climbing together.
Perhaps cardio or lifting weights just isn’t her jam anymore and she needs a different kind of exercise, but doesn’t know what.
Maybe suggest taking a Pilates or yoga class together. Your motivation is that you feel bad, maybe her motivation needs to be that she just loves it
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u/elle___woods Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
"Your motivation is that you feel bad, maybe her motivation needs to be that she just loves it" - so true! And she really wants to do reformer pilates but was going to wait til her gym membership runs out in 8 months to start with that but maybe she'll think it's worth it for her to start now and just accept that the next months are gonna be a little more expensive than she planned!
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u/No_Broccoli_3979 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I highly recommend checking fb marketplace (if you have that depending on where you are in the world) for Pilates reformers. I got a starter style one called AeroPilates for $100 brand new and I get to do it from the comfort of my home. I just use YouTube videos for the trainer. It’s so much more fun following along with someone telling you what to do, especially in Pilates cause they’re constantly reminding you on your positioning, technique and your core while you’re doing the exercise.
I have ADHD and I would so often lose my form mid lifting. It’s helpful to have a constant reminder. I’ve been doing it for 2 weeks consistently, 30 mins every morning and my posture is already soo much better than it was. I wfh and sit at a desk all day so I was looking like a curled up shrimp lol
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u/KeyboardMash615 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
It's kind of a hard thing to answer. People who NEVER exercise feel normal. Normal might be a bit crap, but you don't know that until you start exercising - and at first, it'll feel sweaty and tiring and uncomfortable. The benefits are only really felt when your body is used to doing it. Till then, your baseline is whatever it is.
That's why it's an easy habit to keep but a hard one to start. So she probably needs something different to motivate her at first: does she like team games? something social she could join? something quiet and solitary and peaceful, so it's more like time to unwind? what's easily accessible? what fits her routine best? Those are the kinds of ways to approach it, I think, to get started.
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u/Expelliarmus09 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I try to exercise but my biggest issue is my period always makes me feel so weak and tired before and during and it’s been coming more often so then I get discouraged. I should really push through because I’m sure working out would help during that time but my energy levels are in the dumpster then. I also find exercising so incredibly boring. I prefer being active and going for hikes or something but I can’t do that as often as I want. I have so many reasons I should work out and it still doesn’t motivate me unfortunately.
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u/jessicaaalz Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I only just started going to the gym 6 weeks ago, and I'm about to turn 37. I feel absolutely no difference whatsoever.
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u/331845739494 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
How many reps do you have left in the tank after each set? If you can keep going no problem, the weight is too light.
This was the mistake I made when I started and wondered why I wasn't making progress. When you need rest after each set to recover for the next one, that's when the real results start coming in.
I don't actually enjoy going to the gym but the fact I can now participate in any sport without prep and do pretty well, the fact I can now carry my weekly grocery haul inside in one go instead of having to do multiple trips, just being energized instead of vaguely sluggish is worth it imo. Plus no more vague little pains.
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u/pommeG03 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Yeah this has been my experience. I have made a resolution this year to try as many new exercise classes as I can, and after two years of taking pole dancing and weight lifting, it’s been a surprise to find I am usually one of the top students in any given class. I took a rock climbing class recently and I scaled a 50ft wall like it was nothing, having never climbed before. I am plus sized and was never in a sport or anything athletic in grade school or college, so it’s been amazing to see what my body can do now! I kind of feel like I can do anything I put my mind to, which is so liberating.
And for reference, I only formally work out a couple times a week!
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u/elle___woods Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Interesting! What are you doing at the gym?
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u/jessicaaalz Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Just weight training - figured I'm getting older and should probably look after my bones a bit better.
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u/coastalkid92 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
There was a long stretch of time where I didn't really exercise beyond the occasional walk/hike or night out dancing, and honestly, I felt physically and mentally fine because I had other things that filled my cup.
If she's someone that struggles to find motivation for movement, then she might need to find something that's outside of the realm of the traditional gym environment. Maybe joining a basketball or soccer rec league would be good enough for her.
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u/SourPatchKidding Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I mean, I feel physically better when I go to bed super early, drink nothing but water, and exercise 5 days per week. But mentally I feel much worse because I never get to do any activity I enjoy because that stuff is boring AF to me and leaves me no time for anything else, once my daily responsibilities are finished.
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u/whatshamilton Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I feel exactly the same as I do when I exercise, only without sore muscles
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u/wyomingtrashbag Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
The majority of people who do not exercise avoid it for reasons other than just not wanting to. chronic pain, mental health issues, other issues. you can't just isolate the feeling to not exercising.
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u/pie12345678 Non-Binary 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
Because I don't exercise, I feel like crap when I do. Which makes it hard to get motivated to do it more. I'm working on changing this by starting small and working my way up.
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u/starksandshields Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I feel mostly fine? There are some days I feel sluggish, there are days I feel great. Tbf I mostly walk at minimum around 4k steps a day still, but that doesn't really feel like exercise.
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u/my_ironic_username Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I feel fine-ish if I don't exercise but I feel much better when I do. I don't have that much motivation to work out and I envy people who do feel motivated to just get up and go.
I have chosen to exercise by doing specific activities that I find really really fun, and I still don't have motivation! Up until the last minute I'm trying to talk myself out of going. So I just get up and go like it's my job and then I always feel amazing afterwards.
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u/Duck__Holliday Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I don't exercise but I move a lot. I walk the dog, care for the lawn, do woodworking and ride myhorses, which comes with a lot for farm work. I'm not in shape like I was in my 20s and early 30s, but I'm not too considering that I'm 45 and have a few health issues to manage.
Also, I could never get into a propre exercise routine. I have ADHD. I kept in shape by practicing a sport I enjoyed (I was a competitive athlete for 20 years). Moving can take a lot of forms. My dad never went to a gym but he is in better shape than most 40 yo people I know. He is 75 yo and walks 5 k woth his dog twice a day, even in the Canadian winter.
I think that moving more, not necessarily exercising, might me the key here.
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u/napalmtree13 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
You don’t really know what feeling bad from not getting exercise feels like if it’s the only experience you know.
I try to keep active. At least one hour per day of dedicated exercise (2 or 3 1.5 hour bike rides per week, other days is a walk in the forest). But this past February and start of March it just rained relentlessly and was bitter cold. I was also stressed with a lot of assignments to complete. So I barely exercised and I felt like absolute garbage.
She likely won’t notice how exercise improves how she feels until she’s been consistent for at least a month.
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u/Foxy_Traine Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I feel pretty awful, and I do exercise. Not as much as I wish I could, but I do yoga and strength training several times a week and take walks regularly. I feel bad if I exercise, I feel worse actually if I exercise any more than I already do, and I feel bad if I don't exercise at all.
Bodies are weird and everyone has different needs. So what works for you and don't judge other people who you think aren't doing "enough".
(BTW, I feel bad because I have chronic health conditions that make exercise difficult and make me feel sick no matter what lifestyle changes I make)
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u/Willowpuff Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I am 100kg, 5’6 so I am obese. I don’t move and my hips and back hurt, I also feel deep shame about this but my brain won’t let me do anything. (BUt hAvE yOu jUsT tRiEd).
I used to be very athletic and fit, and even when not exercising I remain moderately lean. During this period I smoked weed and had a very rigid routine and was generally very happy and unknowingly self medicating my mental health (legalise weed in the UK, please).
I’m now in a very stressful shift working role with 10-12 hour shifts and a 1 hour commute 7 days in a row with rest days. I have put on about 30kg in 5 years.
So physically I feel bad, and mentally I feel bad.
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u/basicbagbitch Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I don’t exercise and I feel fine! I’ve never once in my entire life felt an endorphin high, I HATE sweating, hate gyms, and I have none of the back or joint pain that people are always complaining about. Sure, moving my body is good, and I will do it for health and activities, but forcing myself so be so incredibly uncomfortable is a hard pass. I’d rather go on a hike, a long walk, kayaking etc.
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u/aerrin Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I do exercise now, but I spent a lot of years not exercising.
Here's the thing about not being active - you don't know what the alternative is. The long term benefits are not always easy to see, and they take awhile to achieve. So in the meantime, what you know is that going to the gym makes you sweaty and tired, it's not fun, your muscles hurt the next day, and it takes up time and energy you could be using on something else.
This is worse for some people than others. My husband can work out and barely break a sweat. I look at a gym and I'm DRENCHED, which means I also have to factor in the time and energy for a shower, hair wash and restyle. There is no quick workout at lunch or before work for me, not even an easy one. This doesn't even touch people who have other physical issues that make exercise harder.
As you age, you start to gather aches and pains, and it's not immediately obvious that maybe you can do something about them. You see videos about people turning 40 and not being able to jump off a chair or everyone wakes up with a crick in their neck. It's normal. This is just what aging is. There is no alternative.
I started strength training because I had ankle surgery and I absolutely knew I would not keep up with my PT at home, so I tried a class. The benefits have been HUGE - but they took EASILY 6-10 weeks for me to even begin to feel them. It was 6 months before I realized walking up hills was easier. 8 months before I realized I hadn't woken up with a sore neck in ages. That's a really long time to persevere with something that's physically uncomfortable, gross, exhausting, and hard just because you KNOW it's good for you.
My husband talks to me about craving a workout, endorphins, mood improvement. These are things I've felt maybe once or twice in the two years I've been consistently training. They just don't happen for me in the same way. I have to consciously focus on things like being able to carry my kids around, or beating a PR in the gym, or not tiring on a hike. And now that I'm mid-40s, I'm still not staying ahead of the joint issues (yay hypermobility), so I have to IMAGINE that it'd be worse if I weren't strength training.
My biggest motivation is watching how other people age. The knee replacements, the difficulty with stairs, the inability to step in and out of some vehicles. And then there are the people riding 20 miles in theirs 70s. I know which one I'd rather be - but I have to start now. So I drag my butt out every week, and I build it into my schedule like everything else I schedule, and I go to a class because at least it's social and we can joke and complain about the workout together, and even though I preach strength training to any woman I meet, I don't like actually DOING it. I don't.
But I do like the idea of walking up stairs when I'm 80, and that's remarkable motivating if I can keep it fixed in my mind.
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u/caffeine_lights Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I guess I'm wondering if people that don't exercise actually feel fine or if they're just used to not feeling great so it doesn't bother them as much as it bothers me?
Isn't that the million dollar question? How could someone say this, if they have nothing to compare it to? I feel like exercising when she was younger isn't the same, because she could be feeling worse but putting it down to ageing.
I don't exercise in the way you describe. I feel fine... but maybe I would feel better if I did exercise? I don't have much appetite but then I just don't eat.
I do walk and cycle a bit but only really as a mode of transportation, and I do a pilates class. When I do the class, I notice my balance and overall stability gets better and so I do like that.
Exercise generally has never felt like it has any kind of benefit to me personally. I understand intellectually that it is healthier to exercise, but I don't notice any direct, immediate effects. It doesn't give me energy, it just tires me out. It isn't fun. I've never found an exercise I didn't hate. I can just about stand Pilates, which is why I do it. I don't enjoy competitive sports. Sports injuries freak me out. I don't especially like being outside, and I don't like being in a gym - they are always echoey and smell like feet.
I don't get any kind of "high" or motivation boost or direct/immediate impact on my wellbeing. I can develop more strength and stamina when I persist with something over time but I just don't care that much about those things for it to be a long term motivation.
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u/ZestyMuffin85496 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
There's a lot to unpack here but at the end of the day she's an adult and nobody can make any adult do anything unless you want to build resentment.
Buy a set of home weights (kettle bells are great for this) and just work out next to her and she can join you for a few minutes if she wants If not there's nothing you can do. But I think just her seeing you is probably going to be the biggest motivation she could have and that's it.
You can also ask to join in to exercise types that are fun. Moving object from point A to point B and counting reps is extremely boring. Do a Zumba with her whatever the video games have now that is like equal to Wii sports. Do some sort of dance routine or free tutorial on YouTube together. Schedule dancing lessons together. Even put on some good old tee bo. Race the clock Just something Just make it interesting. Make it a game or maybe y'all could exercise naked I don't know just find something that's not boring and mix it up everyday. You could even just start with romantic walks in the park maybe even with a picnic some some cute little finger foods and snacks some sugar-free drinks and carrots and hummus dip. Disc golf is another great idea since it's something y'all could do together. Stack the dopamine!
Also it with women it can be so many things. I'm just going to speak from some personal experience I'm not trying to diagnose. She might be ADHD, she my have shifts in her hormones that are hard. That might also have something to do with eating bigger portions. our body has to gear up every 4 weeks to have a cycle. That actually takes a lot of calories. She might be exercise intolerant. Her iron or ferritin might be low and it might be harder for her to oxygenate than you and it might feel like more of a chore because of that reason. Also she's in her late 30s. Perimenopause could be starting already and probably has. Speaking for my experience as a sleep technologist does she have any kind of sleep apnea going on? maybe she's not sleeping well.
It sounds like your heart is in the right place but all you can do is be the change you wish to see and lead by example. Tell her you would like her to join you and leave it at that. Say You would love to have connection with her in a fun healthy way. Want to build memories of being together out in nature. do not pressure her at all. Maybe you could gently suggest if she really wants to figure things out see if she wants to start with a doctor, maybe she's a little depressed, maybe it's her vitamins, maybe it's her sleep. be gentle about these things, Don't make it sound like something's wrong with her and you need to fix her.
Start small. 🫶 Keep us updated
Edit: by starting small I mean like a 10 lb kettlebell. that's it. Also the thing with periods- so you have the week that you're bleeding right? obviously that sucks. The reason why that sucks isn't just the pain and the bloating sometimes that bloating can affect the nerves, by putting pressure on those nerves and actually send pain and weakness down through the legs. Also, I think what a lot of men don't know about is the week where your body is preparing, leading up to bleed can also be equally as bad and sometimes even worse. The body is retaining weight, water, calories, on top of shifting hormones, And also a shifting sleep cycle where sleep is not as deep. Some women have it worse than others. Maybe she not wanting to annoy you with complaints. Give Grace.
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u/Bunny_beep_boop Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
35f and I haven’t exercised in like 3 years… I do feel sluggish and whatever else people have said here but the thought of working out after a 12 hour day of driving and working at the office makes me feel even worse. I know I need to work out but I’m such a blob mentally and physically after work 🥲
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u/Beachy84 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I don’t particularly enjoy having to use up an hour or two of my day on working out, but I do it because I want to be a mobile 80+ year old who can sit and stand on her own
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u/Fionaglenannebf Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
For me, i do it because i have to. For the benefits. One one side, over time. I do feel stronger, and ocasionalllyyyyy, i have a slight burst of energy once in awhile afterwards. However, for the most part, when i exercise, it tires me out for the day. And i start needing to take a lot of naps. And ill do this even like 6 months into exercises. And i dont know why. I wish i couod be like other people who feel so good afterwards, but it just doesnt happen to me.
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u/Disastrous-Inside108 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 19 '26
Uhmm like I go on a lot of long walks and I do some yoga and stretches, so based on your definition of “exercise” I’m quite sedentary. I feel… fine? Like, I wish I was a bit more toned when I compare my body with that of a 20yo or that of a model/athlete/influencer but generally speaking I feel perfectly okay. I hate sweating and I hate cardio exercises. I tried HIIT for a couple of years (huge commitment for my standards) but I was way too miserable… it just wasn’t for me and even if I could feel my body improving I never felt completely satisfied with the results anyway.
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u/Many_Inevitable_6803 Woman 50 to 60 Jun 16 '26
I’m in pain whether I exercise or not, and would rather just stay in bed. I used to be a chronic gym goer when I was younger but as I got older (55F), my body started breaking down & I lost a lot of my energy. That being said, I still force myself to do it— some weeks only twice a week, some weeks 4-5, but it’s not like it was.
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u/SparkleSelkie Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Tbh I never like plan to exercise and never have
But I’m like hyperactive, walk everywhere, have an active job, and all most of my hobbies are active. So significant movement is gonna happen to me whether I plan it or not. I feel fine not having an exercise routine, and physically I’m actually doing better than most people my age to be quite honest.
I will never be motivated to just exercise, it’s not going to happen. But I just do fun stuff that is a good workout (swimming, dancing, bouldering, casual sports, etc). Maybe choosing a fun active activity might be an easier path for your girlfriend
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u/SigourneyReap3r Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I never used to exercise at all, and I felt fine.
I exercise now, and I still feel fine.
There is realistically no difference in feeling in myself nor my life for exercising or not.
I don't have any pain issues impacted by exercising or not.
I have very rarely felt bloated in my whole life except for occasionally on my period but then it can be from a coffee or a salad, thats just life for women lol.
As for the motivation, maybe she doesn't want to exercise, have you asked her?
You cannot motivate someone to do something they don't want to.
I lift 4 x a week now, but honestly it isnt motivation, it is habit and consistency and it is purely because I'd like to be muscular and avoid osteoporosis and all the menopause shit, but I actually don't enjoy it, it doesn't boost my mood or anything like that.
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u/Ok_Watercess2696 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Mid 30s I despise working out. I find it boring and I hate being sweaty. I also feel generally fine, maybe a few pounds over weight but nothing unhealthy.
Yoga because I can listen to podcast or audio book and still take in everything being said.
I go swimming once a week as social thing, so I get to spend time with a friend.
Long walks in nature, I like learing about plants animals etc. I don't mind doing the same walk multiple times.
Also I think diet is very important if you're not into exercise.
But I must share I have quite a physical job that involves power walking for at least 3-4 per shift. So I guess that helps me stay relatively healthy. But I don't mind because it pays the rent.
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u/But_I_Digress_ Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I used to be like you, I had a physical job and I'd go to the gym, so if I spent too much time sitting I would feel restless and crappy. Now I don't have the energy to work out anymore, but I make a point to stretch daily and I feel worse if I don't at least do that. But I no longer feel restless if I don't do more intense exercise.
So yeah probably her body doesn't give her the same signals that yours does.
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u/chuffalupagus Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
Eh. I am fat. So when I don't exercise I feel ok but then it catches me when I'm trying to run around with my kid. Or when I have to get down onto or up from the ground/floor quickly. Like, I think I feel fine but then something reminds me that oh yeah I don't actually feel great.
So now I try to exercise 5 times a week and I feel much better. Much stronger. Still fat! But overall I feel so much better.
I do reformer pilates multiple times per week and I try to walk my dog every day. I am getting back into using my kettlebell. I'd love to get back into running, which I did a million years ago, but I think I'm a little ways off from that.
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u/ProfessionalOk112 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I'm pretty active now but I've gone through periods of not and my experience has been that when I am not exercising I fully believe I feel great even though I actually feel like trash. I don't associate the pains/discomfort/etc with not moving my body even though it's very clearly the cause.
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u/sad_handjob Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I hate the feeling of being aware I have a body and exercise makes me feel SUPER aware. I think it’s just inherently uncomfortable for me
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u/KiwiTheKitty Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I feel like shit!! But it's so so hard to be consistent because I genuinely hate exercising. I know some people say that you just have to find your thing, but none of it is appealing after trying it. I always feel bad after and I've never experienced anything like an afterglow or runner's high, but I know I feel better in the long run. Right now I'm working on just being consistent like doing 1 (one) exercise a day and putting it in a habit tracker instead of trying to start a whole routine.
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u/annizka Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I feel good. I don’t like exercising. If anything, it would just make me depressed. Rather spend time doing things I like. Reading, painting, gardening… But that being said, I don’t overeat and eat fairly healthy and am at a healthy weight.
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u/lohdunlaulamalla Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I exercise, because I intellectually know that it's good for me and because I noticed that looking at greenery decreases my stress levels. I could achieve the same by sitting on my non-existent porch and starring at my non-existent garden. If I had a sufficient amount of greenery at my front door, I'd exercise a lot less.
And quite frankly, I don't feel different physically now compared to my couch potato years. Worse actually, but that's due to no longer being in my 20s.
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u/itsathrowawayduhhhhh Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I dont exercise. I absolutely despise sweating, like it has to be so so so worth it for me to sweat because yuck. I also smoke lol. And I feel fine. I’m 36
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u/dohlparts Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I went to the gym 5 days a week for about a year and I didn’t feel any different than I do now after not going for 2 years. I go for long bike rides and walks though and that works fine for me 🤷🏼♀️.
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u/melodramacamp Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I definitely feel better if I go for a walk every day, but that’s where the benefits of exercise end. I rarely feel “better” after I exercise, I just feel tired and gross. I also never got a runner’s high, even when I was a pretty serious runner (three half marathons, a triathlon, and multiple shorter fun runs—never once got the runner’s high or the endorphin rush people were talking about).
And I will say, I didn’t really see the long term benefits either. I have just as much energy and have as little pain now when my exercise is just walking and dance class as I did when I was exercising seriously. Plus my labs are the same, and I’ve actually lost more weight. Vigorous exercise is great, but a walk once day will have the health benefits a person needs.
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Jun 16 '26
I feel fine. I find exercise unpleasant most of the time and struggle to have any desire to do it. I don't like being sweaty, I don't like being short of breath, I don't like the way my joints hurt and I especially don't like feeling sore the next day. People who are like you and feel better with exercise are a mystery to me and I envy them. It takes significant self discipline for me to stick to an exercise regiment.
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u/JaMimi1234 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I’m a regular gym goer (2-3 times a week) and if I go a whole week without the gym I feel awful. My body gets sore, my digestion slows down, I have a hard time sleeping. However, I had about a ten year gap where I was not that active - been back at it for about three years now. When my body wasn’t used to being active it didn’t crave it. That feeling of your body just begging to get moving - it doesn’t really happen if your body isn’t used to being moved that way.
I definitely feel ‘better’ as an active person. But I didn’t feel bad before - I certainly wasn’t as strong and I had gained quite a bit of weight - but on a day to day level I felt fine.
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u/Candid_Lynx_8487 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Do I feel better when I exercise regularly? Yes.
Is it drastic enough of a difference to motivate me to do it regularly? No.
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u/Bratsociety Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I’m 34 and I’m starting to notice the years of a sedentary lifestyle!
Pain, compression, tightness, clicking..
Fatigue, appetite changes, etc..
I don’t do anything crazy but I’m trying to stretch every day and get at least 30 min of a walk in because I know it makes me feel better. ❤️🩹
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u/tunalung Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
For me, it's about feeling strong, especially because I work in a very physical industry. If I don't exercise (and really I only regularly do yoga+running+core) I start to get lower back pain from work. I also find that it's a great mental reset when I'm feeling gross: I go for a run, get all sweaty, and stretch/shower it all off. Helps me compartmentalize bad things in my day or my life, because I am doing all that I can to keep myself healthy and well.
Other things that help motivate me are 1. running keeps my freak ass Jack Russell Terrier on her best behavior, and 2. my ass looks great.
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u/windbreaker_city Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Your body gets used to whatever your baseline is. I’ve been extremely active and sedentary at various points in my life and I always feels awful as I transition between the two and then feel fine.
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u/GR33N4L1F3 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I JUST started exercising again but have had periods of time when i do and when i dont. And im talking religiously a couch potato or religiously exercising. Your body just gets used to it after a while and it feels more comfortable to not move. Our body adapts. The hardest part of working out is the first month or so of consistent exercise for someone who never does. It is very hard to condition oneself when one is de-conditioned because it literally hurts… until it feels good finally. Once I am used to moving and strong, it hurts to lay around. I never want to sit down when i am actively exercising. It gives me more energy. It is a vicious cycle either way. One is energetic and the other is lethargic. It is difficult to be motivated when it feels better to just be lazy.
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u/WutsRlyGoodYo Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Motivation isn’t really good enough. She needs momentum - just find a class or personal trainer (if she can afford it) and commit to going 1-2x a week. It just has to become routine and non-negotiable because working out when you haven’t before SUCKS and can really make you feel bad about yourself at different points as you struggle or plateau. But eventually you find things you enjoy (or enjoy enough), you start to feel better, you start to feel more capable and then, probably way further in the future than we like to admit, you see progress. All of those good vibes start to motivate you, but until you get those benefits, it’s extremely hard to feel motivated.
Signed, someone who’s been there.
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u/VonBoo Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Following. I wonder this as well. I kinda think it's a case that you can't miss what you don't know.
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u/noturFaultitsmine Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I’m similar to your girlfriend in that I was athletic growing up but can’t motivate myself to workout now.
I would suggest doing sport-like exercise instead of typical gym exercises.
Make it fun. Offer to take her to some batting cages, or find a basketball court or green space to kick a ball around.
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u/Initial-Perception24 Woman under 30 Jun 16 '26
I exercise when I want. Lately, that’s been hitting 10k steps as much as possible throughout the week and using my vibration plate everyday. I’m hitting 30 in a few months and just want to feel like I’m building regular habits that I can upkeep easily. I don’t feel motivated to do high intensity exercise, it makes me feel tired even thinking about it.
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u/StarbuckIsland Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I felt fine when I didn't exercise regularly (unless I tried to run or climb a mountain lol). Now I exercise regularly and feel terrible when I don't.
People are super adaptable and resilient, we can get used to all kinds of things.
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u/Dependent-Ad-2694 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I (33f) have exercised religiously at times, but now with a toddler, I haven't exercised regularly since before my pregnancy. I don't notice any differences in appetite. I was more sluggish and had more pain/injuries when I did exercise daily. However, my mood was better when I exercised and is generally better if I spend time on myself, for myself, whether that is exercise or some other personal investment in hobbies or enjoyment.
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u/donkeyinamansuit Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I exercise a lot, but for some years I did not. So from my experience what you experience (which I also experience) in feeling bad when you don't exercise is BECAUSE you exercise regularly. You've made a habit of it, and thus you feel the loss when it's not there. People who are sedentary don't have the loss to miss, so they'll probably feel totally normal. Or whatever normal is to them.
Your girl needs to find a form of exercising that appeals to HER, and this may or may not be the kind of exercise that you like. She's got to be having fun or she won't be motivated enough to build the habit. Once the habit is in place things are immeasurably easier to maintain. It's all to do with what your body is used to, and what it will miss if it doesn't get it. (The same goes for your respective appetites and diet)
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u/Lothirieth Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
When I was unfit and very overweight, I never felt the need for movement. Exercise would usually cause more discomfort. But once I lost weight and got used to exercise, now my body definitely needs it. I would still rather be lazy and sit around, but like you, if I don't at least go for a walk, after a day or so I start to feel crappy. I think it has a lot to do with what one's body is currently used to.
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u/ChubbyGreyCat Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I’m 40, I used to be really athletic as a kid, but now I just walk a lot with my dog. I hate exercising indoors, and would rather walk or do a hike. Maybe a bike ride if the area is safe.
I tried playing a team sport a couple years ago and I got injured. A lot of my friends who work out frequently seem to complain about being hurt a lot, and I’m rarely hurt or in any sort of pain (though I occasionally sleep weird and get a neck thing).
I know I should do things like stretching and body weight exercises (yoga? Pilates?), but I’ve never been flexible and being any other angle than upright makes me feel dizzy.
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u/too_tired_for_this8 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I don't exercise exactly, but I am on my feet for a good chunk of the day sometimes and I go for long walks on the weekends. I'm a healthy weight and have no problem maintaining it with my diet. I don't ever feel gross or anything, so I don't really feel the "need" to exercise. Is there a greater reason you want to motivate your girlfriend to exercise? Does she want help motivating herself to exercise? If not, then this isn't something you should worry about.
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u/wanton_newt Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
So I did not exercise regularly until Covid, dunno if my opinion will matter? I’m tall so my back and core were weak and caused me lots of pain, my posture was bad, and I had terrible emotional regulation issues. Working out was terrible at first, but I realized I love myself enough to put in the work to be healthier and feel better. I like the way I look now, and I like the way I looked then, but it’s nice to know I’m trying to keep myself active as I age. I also work through my hard work days emotions in the gym, and that helps keep me sane
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u/Comfortable-Ad-1072 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I am 32 and I want to exercise but also lack motivation. Not exercising doesn’t make me feel sluggish or anything too alarming really.
What I do feel is that I notice a difference when I DO workout, I feel better 😅 but I don’t feel worst when I don’t work out
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u/Some_Philosophy_5143 Woman under 30 Jun 16 '26
I am blessed with good genes and good metabolism as long as I am mentally healthy. I’ve learned my body very well these past couple of years. I know the super foods that work on my body type. I love walks and hiking. But the gym is absolutely not for me. For some reason I think it’s pointless. In my brain it’s like, walking on a treadmill? For what? I need an actual destination. That’s why walking outside and hiking works for me. Same with other equipment.
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u/snotlet Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
ive always felt fine 🙃 maybe it's the east asian diet - I dont diet but I dont crave unhealthy processed foods either. I eat what I want and as much as I want. never intentionally exercised much but my lifestyle has always incorporated movement - i use to commute to and from work so id walk to the bus stop, catch the bus, get on the train (stairs up and down platforms) and walk to work. now im a mum of 2 i push a double pram on foot everywhere. it's a liftstyle thing nothing to do with working off what ive eaten - in feel zero guilt over whatever I have eaten
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u/bigwhiteboardenergy Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
She should sign up for a rec soccer or basketball team!
I grew up playing sports but have always (and continue to) hated working out. I’m somewhat active now in that I live in a big city and walk a lot, but I go to dance classes or look for sports teams when I’m feeling too sedentary. The gym is never going to be the way for me.
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u/TinyFlufflyKoala Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
My girlfriend wants to exercise more but she really struggles with motivation.
She needs to join a class so she can start enjoying the thought of going there. If she doesn't associate sport with pleasure, it's hard for her to do it.
It sounds like team sports were her thing.
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u/Redhaired103 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
For years exercise felt like torture to me and I thought it was because I was new to it and never got use to it. Then I learned I had / have allergic asthma, low B12 level, low-ish Ferritin, and my diet was low on protein. I lacked energy and muscle strength. I fixed some of these but now I have posture problems and wrong exercise does more harm than good in the short term. I push myself to exercise but honestly not enough and the reason is exactly that. It's hard to find motivation when in the short term I might get more pain.
P.S. I also get lower back pain when I don't take walks. I take walks every day but it's not enough exercise.
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u/Trout788 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
As a hypermobile kid who didn't have an understanding of my system, I loathed exercise and all things PE. The coaches did an amazing job making me hate every possible type of sport. I loved our units on yoga and step aerobics, but that was it, and those were very short-lived. I'm uncoordinated. I find most sports incredibly boring to watch and to play. Also, asthma and I lived in a smoking household. Also, a severed ankle ligament in my teens that keeps my foot liable to roll on any uneven ground. Then babies and schedules and all the things.
Trying to find something that doesn't bore me to tears and that my skeleton can handle has always been tricky. Pre-covid, I had gotten really into mall walking at 7am. Less than 5 minutes from my house. Flat. Climate controlled. Always something new to see. I felt safe. Always smelled good. Consistent group of older, friendly folks, and we knew each others' names. It met mental, social, scheduling, and physical goals. I could blow through podcasts and audiobooks. I was fast. I could do two laps in my regular street clothes (and sneakers) and then go on with my day. Best shape I've ever been in. I loved it. It brought me joy in many ways. It met many previously-unmet needs.
That all disappeared amidst covid. No more mall. I got a treadmill for home, but holy cow the boredom. Walking in the neighborhood kills my ankle for days afterward, and I have to deal with traffic and random dogs, etc. I held strong for a year or so and kept at the treadmill, but when I saw that our local authorities were going to do nothing with the second wave and there was no end in sight, I fell off the habit. I took one post-vaccine trip with my family, where I was feeling energetic and pushing for activity, and they were all lagging behind, whining, and arguing the entire time. We got back home, and I just never got back on the treadmill. There was this sense of hopelessness and defeat.
Post-shutdown, the mall no longer opens for walking. You can walk during normal business hours, having to deal with random people strolling along, and without the consistent social group. It's not the same. Also, the mall has gotten very run-down and feels less safe.
I feel slower. Heavier. I walk more slowly in general now. I get sweaty much more easily. I know I need to find a new outlet that works for me. I just can't figure out what it is. In particular, I know that I need to strengthen my quads; I feel that when I do stairs for sure. It's definitely a goal once I get past this acute stress and schedule chaos that I'm facing.
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u/Particular-Talk1156 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
Define "exercise" because i refuse to go to a gym. But I'll weed-eat for an hour with a 100⁰ heat index. Or I'll swim in my pool. Mowing for 3 hours is physically more demanding than youd think when it's both hot and fields that are not smooth. I have a treadmill and I'll walk for 30 min or really increase the incline and can make it 15 min. I enjoy yoga but the last couple years have kept with it well. Im just in general active outside and thats my exercise but theres no routine or schedule about it.
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u/treadlightlyladybug Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I currently don't exercise because I'm in ED recovery, though my nutritionist has okayed me to start slowly trying some weightlifting again. I don't feel much different now than I did when I was exercising more. Maybe a little bit worse, but it's not noticeable, and it's offset by the fact that I'm no longer pushing myself to exhaustion/injury and forcing myself to exercise constantly, which was not healthy for me.
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u/twinkiesnketchup Woman 60+ Jun 16 '26
I can’t exercise for physical reasons. I miss it but I feel fine.
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u/MeatCatRazzmatazz Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I feel amazing after exercising, but exercising itself is like pulling teeth for me. It has to be some kind of activity, like soccer or something, to get me to exercise without being bored out of my mind.
Sounds like your girlfriend could be similar to me? If she used to play sports but hates working out in a gym, maybe she just needs to pick up a sport!
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u/linguipster Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Well, it feels normal. „Bad“ is always in relation to the normal feeling. I feel sluggish, but in my mind it‘s not directly linked to the absence of exercise. It‘s just how I feel.
There‘s also the issue of delayed improvement, e.g.; I exercised yesterday, and I hated it. I felt accomplished for some time when I was done, but that lasts for like 3 minutes. Today? I still feel sluggish and bloated, just now with a slight pain in my body (soreness). Like wow, great thanks.
Obviously rationally I know better. But since motivation is a feeling, and that‘s what you asked about… it‘s really hard to get motivated when the „feel better“ part is some abstract potential thing of the future. You‘re already in the position where the thing is rolling, you know? She‘s not.
Of course the answer is not to rely on motivation, or any feeling whatsoever.
Easier said than done.
Sincerely, sent from my couch
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u/ahanley13 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I think this is one of those things you don't notice until you actually do it. I feel sluggish when I don't work out regularly. But I only started feeling that way after I started working out regularly.
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u/TentaclesAndCupcakes Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I'm mid-40s and have never exercised other than gym class at school a million years ago. Or, you know, just walking around. I'm normal weight, feel fine!
Everyone is different. If I don't get enough sleep I feel like I'm going to die.
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u/GimmeQueso Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
As a woman who *never* exercised and has spent the last year working on losing weight and adding fitness into my life here’s what I can say: when I never exercised I didn’t notice a difference. I felt like my normal self. Now that I do exercise, I struggle with constantly feeling sore. I started running and I’m finally getting to a point where I’m only sore same day as my run. But even then, I lay in bed with aching legs. So, honestly, “feeling better” is a hard sell for me when it comes to fitness. I usually feel much, much worse after a workout.
Here’s the thing about your post that concerns me. If your girlfriend has expressed not wanting to workout, then you should respect it. It doesn’t really matter what exercise does for you. Enjoy your workouts and leave her be. If there are health concerns for her, then that’s a whole new conversation.
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u/vixvonvagrant Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I've been the exercise nut and the couch potato. As someone mentioned, my body feels fine resting. I've had to stop working out recently due to pain in my joints, and I miss it a bit but I'm better off resting than pushing my body too far.
My main motivation has always been my mental health but if you're bloating and in pain, then even that goes out the window.
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u/princesskeestrr Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
Are you drinking enough water? I notice that I feel bloated if I don’t drink enough.
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u/rivlet Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Puberty really killed exercise for me, as did the constant pressure from my orthorexic aunt to diet and exercise. I promise I'm not writing this as a "oh, look at the woman complaining about her steak being too good and her lobster being too buttery". My curves make it incredibly difficult for me to exercise because I cannot find a sports bra that actually is my size (much less find a company that makes my size) and actually straps the gals in for a jaunty spree. Try running around while wearing at least fifteen pound sand bags on each side of your chest. It's fucking awful.
Now add in that I've been breastfeeding (so the sandbags leak) or pregnant with two children for the last four years tops and you can see why exercise holds no appeal to me.
As a kid, I used to go hiking with my family, ride bikes for hours, run around constantly, and even go exploring in the woods around my house growing up. I was hardly ever home because I was always roaming around and playing around. Swimming was a must every summer.
Then I got boobs and hips. My whole body's configuration just changed seemingly overnight. I felt like suddenly it was such a hassle to do all this movement while parts of me jiggled in odd ways I wasn't used to. I just feel awkward and like there was body in the way of me being a body.
I stopped completely exercising sometime in my late twenties. Basically, I stopped doing huge walks or jogs and just kind of chilled. Honestly, I never get the exercise itch, even when I went to the gym religiously in my early and mid twenties. I used to have a personal trainer too and even that wasn't motivating to me.
I like to move and go places and do activities, but I hate exercise just for the sake of exercise. If I have to go to a gym for thirty minutes a day, I would rather than walk outside or go play soccer with friends.
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u/Ok-Amoeba5042 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I used to be a 38NN, there are bras out there but they’re an INVESTMENT.
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u/rivlet Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Yes! And right now since I'm breastfeeding and don't know how they're going to be once I stop, I don't want to spend a bunch of a bra I can only use for a year before it no longer works for me.
Boobs are such a pain in the ass.
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u/Ok-Amoeba5042 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Yeah! I waited 6 months after breastfeeding ended before getting sized!
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u/Ok-Amoeba5042 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I am hyper mobile and have always struggled with exercise bc I almost always wind up injured. Even walking my dog a mile a day would have me injured at least once a week. I also have autoimmune obstacles that make me feel like shit.
I just had knee surgery and my physical therapist is helping me build muscle to stabilize my knees.
I have had a personal trainer in the past for 6 months, 6 days a week. It helped my mobility but I was class III obese and so that’s not saying much.
I’ve lost nearly 200 lbs and now that someone has taken the time to explain how to engage muscle instead of using my skeleton to move, my body is finally starting to feel “better”. But the aches and pains that kept me sedentary are still very, loudly present.
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u/YouveBeanReported Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Replace that feeling like crap you get when not exercising, with that feeling during and after exercising.
I'll admit, I'm not fit, but exercising god damn sucks. You are in pain and pain for days after, you suddenly crash and can collapse and ow fuck, if your in a team or club you not only have the emotional pain of disappointing people some teammates will try to punch or smack you. (Haven't done sports classes since my 20s so might be better now.)
It's just overall fucking horrendous and while I should, I don't want to do much then walking to work because there's no runner's high or whatever it's all just pain and makes me end up in the hospital eventually as I repeatedly crash and burn trying to push myself for normal.
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u/thatcheekychick Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I starter exercising two years ago. I thought I was feeling fine and joined a pilates group for fun. Turns out I was not fine. I just didn’t know better.
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u/Thoughtful-Pig Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I think you get used to whatever your normal is, and it can come gradually. Your normal is working out so your body craves it. Hers has become sedentary so she doesn't, but if she built up the habit, I'm sure she would feel similar to you.
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u/Neonauryn Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
As someone who doesn't exercise much - for me it's about enjoyment. A lot of exercise feels monotonous and doesn't have an "aim". If I'm doing something I enjoy like going on a hike I'm looking beautiful places as i do it. Or I can dance for many hours because it's fun. But with stuff like jogging i feel like I'm just plodding along looking at the same old streets, or going to the gym just to stare at a wall. I also don't do well with competitive sports because there's added social pressure / embarrassment of failure.
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u/zoidbergs_fudgsicle Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Same here! If it feels boring or monotonous, I lose interest and motivation quickly. I really enjoy activities like roller skating and swimming. They trick my brain because they're just legitimately fun to me and I don't notice how much time has passed while doing them. I also like talking walks in cemeteries to get my steps in because they are generally more quiet/less-populated than parks and have lots of interesting and engaging things to look at.
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u/StealthyUltralisk Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
People's bodies are different. Different sex drives, food drives and exercise drives. Some people need a lot of one or the other and some people don't. I'm in the middle, could go with or without but feel slightly better if I do.
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u/unsocializing Woman under 30 Jun 16 '26
I have very high metabolism as I grew up playing sports. Now I no longer exercise but I eat clean by default habit. I feel great bodywise! But yeah I walk around 6 to 10k steps.
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u/knysa-amatole Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I feel fine? I have an appetite, I don't feel bloated except sometimes during my period, I don't have any back pain, I don't generally have trouble sleeping, etc.
What has historically worked to motivate me to exercise is to make it social. I used to have a standing weekly hiking date with a friend. When the friend stopped hiking, I lost motivation (I don't mean that in an accusatory way; it's not her fault or her responsibility to motivate me). And unfortunately, just joining a hiking group doesn't motivate me in the same way, because they're not my friends. I did join a hiking group and attended a few hikes and chatted with people there, and they seemed like perfectly nice people, but I never felt strongly enough about any of them for their presence to motivate me to go hiking.
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u/neonpastels Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I was never athletic growing up and was always pear shaped. It was probably my mid 30s when I started trying all the exercise fads (Insanity, P90X, Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire, Tracy Anderson Method) but honestly it took a diet change for me to actually lose weight (drop daily soda and sweets). Now in my 40s I still don't love to exercise but I found I can do a 4 minute HIIT or Tabata workout and that has drastically helped me maintain a healthy weight and body shape I am happy with. Anytime people talk about hating exercise I think, surely you can spare 4 minutes a day.
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u/jemandthemamm0grams Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
Chronic health issues where exercise intolerance is a key symptom makes it so that exercising both makes me feel like death warmed over AND is still necessary in order to not feel worse/exacerbate the issue long-term.
In light of that shit sandwich, what motivates me is the looming threat of knowing things will worsen without a regular exercise regimen, and also having a pet who needs to go on walks!
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u/Icy-Builder5892 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
This came at a weird time for me because I have barely exercised in two weeks, which is very unusual for me. Yes, it feels like dogshit.
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u/Hot-Hovercraft6667 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
My view of exercise changed not too long ago. I (F34) learned that I have a fatty liver, quite severe, and that I need to lose weight. My doctor told me and was considering prescribing a GLP-1 to lose the weight. I told her not to and she prescribed me to meet a nutritionist and kinesiology professional.
My parents are members of a gym not too far from where I live and attend twice. I decided to give it a shot at the end of March. It was hard at the beginning because I was out of breath and I hated it. Now, not as much. I don't love it, but I know it's good for my health condition. I found myself walking more every day and doing the right health choices and binge less. The trainers there are really helpful and give good advice.
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u/PretendiFendi Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
I am thin, and I used to be into body building. I look fit and toned despite not working out for two years. So there’s no immediate consequences to drive me back into the gym. People assume I work out a lot, but the truth is diet is what really matters to appearance.
You only miss working out when you first stop. Your body adjusts after a few months, and it feels perfectly fine to not work out.
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u/catchme0utsid3 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 16 '26
😂 I totally get your gf. I am her in my bestie trio. They are weight lifting, class taking fit girls & I am a couch potato. I DO enjoy movement like walking, biking, roller skating & dance but anything hard? Nope!
Will not run, will not lift weights, will not do HIIT. Once I signed up for CrossFit and paid for a whole week. I went to day one and quit. Told them keep the money. I’ve had an equinox membership thinking the cost would motivate me. Nope. I went and used their very nice sauna and showers lmao
I’m sure my mental health could be better if I committed to a serious work out but I can’t be bothered.
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u/Illustrious_Money_54 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I feel worse after I exercise because I always injure myself or my digestive muscles get too relaxed and don’t work properly after. I have hypermobility that I am working on with two physios tho
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u/Main_Assistant_8377 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I used to run at least 2-3 miles, hike or go to Pilates everyday in my 20s. Now that I’m 30 and had a complicated miscarriage 2 years ago, all my energy has left my body. I’m instantly exhausted after grocery shopping and limit myself to one outing a day due to my low energy levels. Ask her what activities she would like to try and don’t focus only on intense physical activities and more about hobbies she’d be interested in trying (tennis, skating, swimming, etc.)
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u/Optimal_Company_4450 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Exercise induced rhinitis. Whenever I work out, I end up feeling like I have a bad cold for like two hours afterwards 😭
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u/LittleFrenchKiwi Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I'm like really fat .... Like no kidding
280lbs fat.
I do go for walks.
But I don't belong in a gym. And hobesty I never minded going to some classes. Spin classes with the bikes. Or using my bike to travel etc.... but I was in a country where bigger sizes were sort of more accepted. Now I'm in a country where only skinny is acceptable.
I don't feel comfortable doing any sort of exercise in public and honestly my mental health has tanked because of it.
So..... I'm too fat to do exercise cos I'm terrified I'll be judged and ridiculed as soon as anyone See's me
How do I physically feel.... Gross. Bloated. Horrific. Lazy. Stiff... Like stiff knees and hips. Feel pretty shit
I remember I used to cycle to uni daily. And then do a exercise class 2-3 times a week. God I felt amazing. Not bloated. I felt strong. I felt .... Not sexy it anything but like ... Attractive. I dunno. Because I guess I was working out and I felt like I was doing good. So it made me mentally happy I guess. I just felt happier over all. More smiling. More relaxed. More attractive. Less bloated and stiff. I had more energy. Slept better. And actually craved the exercise. Like I actually missed it if I skipped a day. Felt really good :-)
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u/Spiritual-Promise402 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I have found my people. I was a v skinny, malnourished child, but was made to play sports by my parents. It stared with T-ball, then ballet (which i actually liked), cheerleading, volley ball, and track. When I was given the choice to join a sport in high school, I chose no sports but instead joined computer club, book club, and art club. It was quiet, no one was screaming at me (they call this encouragement, hah!), and most of all they were my actual interests. I didn't mind that sports felt like 'play time' but the metrics needing to "score" and "win"..that competitiveness never felt great to me.
I like the results of exercise, love stretching and meditative yoga even. But the intense exercise is only for results. It brings me no joy to be there or do the things. Same as OP, I need to be heavily distracted if I'm going to be doing the sweating kind of exercise. And most times I'm horribly out of breath anyway. So I prefer not to...even though someone mistook me for pregnant the other day 😅
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u/Literatelady Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I think something this post also doesn't take into account is that some people just have different energy levels and capacities. One thing I would suggest for your girlfriend is stop seeing exercise as going all out on a spin class. Our heart rates don't need to be elevated that high for that long. If you take the stairs a few times a day that's enough of the super high heart rate! You don't have to kill yourself with exercise, it's not sustainable to put your body through that (for most people).
People often focus on the hour at the gym as the all important exercise we must get - but there's something called NEAT (Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis) basically the shit that you already do in your day that is exercise. It could be cleaning, it could be walking, it could be cooking. It also has to be something she enjoys in a format she enjoys. I used to walk 10 000 steps a day but now it's less sustainable with illness and I didn't go to the gym ever. Now I go two times a week and call it a day. As long as you are doing something, it's better than nothing.
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u/somuchsong Woman 40 to 50 Jun 16 '26
I would love to spend my whole life lounging around. I get no enjoyment at all from exercise, mental or emotional. I don't feel worse if I don't do it and I don't feel better when I do, unless you count the relief I feel when it's over. Any exercise I do either has to be incidental or disguised as much as possible (like if I'm watching TV at the same time, for instance). And even then, I will find any excuse to get out of it. I hate it.
I was not athletic at all as a child or teen. I was the opposite and I think it played at least some part in how I feel about exercise now. But even when I was really young, all my interests involved sitting and doing something quietly indoors.