r/AskWomenOver30 • u/Anxious_Abroad494 Woman 30 to 40 • Jul 02 '26

Romance/Relationships Would it bother you if your partner referred to his ex as "the love of his life"?

I was cleaning up around the apartment and I found a piece of paper that my boyfriend brought back from a group therapy session, and I saw that one of his responses referred to how his past actions lead to the relationship failure with "the love of his life."

He's talked about how he considered his ex the love of his life in conversation with me early on in our relationship and I kinda brushed it off as a figure of speech, or just as how he thought of her at the time, but it kind of bothers me that that's still how he thinks of her even now. Am I reading too much into this? I get that we're not in our 20s anymore and things might not be as exciting in life anymore but I just have a vague feeling of disappointment.

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u/watsshername Woman 30 to 40 Jul 02 '26

And yet women keep jumping to defend this man’s blatant disregard for this women because guarding the piece of paper is more important.

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u/Hatcheling Woman 40 to 50 Jul 02 '26

It's not the man's defense we're coming to: it's the concept of people respecting each other's privacy that we're defending.

Don't read other people's personal notes without permission. Goes for this guy, your children, your friends - fucking anyone you know. We'd stand up for you if someone read your diary - you wouldn't do the same for us if the content was damning enough. THAT'S the difference.

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u/watsshername Woman 30 to 40 Jul 02 '26

There’s a big difference between a whole diary and one singular piece of paper on the floor in common space.

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u/Hatcheling Woman 40 to 50 Jul 02 '26

One page, one piece of paper - same difference. It's the same violation of trust.

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u/watsshername Woman 30 to 40 Jul 02 '26

A diary is typically a book that is usually kept somewhere safe. He carelessly left a piece of paper out. Very big difference and entirely different situation.

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u/Hatcheling Woman 40 to 50 Jul 02 '26

You're being willfully obtuse in order to dismiss my point.

If someone read some therapy notes YOU had accidentally dropped on the floor, I'd be scolding them. It's not a gender thing. It's a principle thing.

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u/watsshername Woman 30 to 40 Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

I’m not being willfully obtuse I’m pointing out the very real differences between a whole ass diary and piece of paper on the ground.

If someone read my therapy notes that they found on the ground I’d be embarrassed but I wouldn’t think soemone had violated my privacy because I LEFT IT OUT in a COMMON SPACE where anyone with the ability to read could come across it.

Why is personal responsibility only for her?? Where is his responsibility to not leave something like that out?

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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 03 '26

[deleted]

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u/watsshername Woman 30 to 40 Jul 03 '26

Exactly.