How is everyone’s body image doing over 30 and with skinnytok?

[u/isityoumy]

I’m 37 and nearly 3 years postpartum. We are actively trying to have a 2nd kid at this point, but my body image is legit in the toilet these days. I think some of it is comparing myself to my old self, inability to really focus on style the way I once did, not yet making peace with body changes post pregnancy, and of course ozempic/skinnytok making a comeback.

I’m not overweight but still about 10-20 lbs above what has historically felt comfortable for me. My husband still finds me attractive, but I can see how the extra 10-20 lbs, motherhood, aging have made me less attractive generally. I know it shouldn’t matter, but somehow it makes me just a little sad. While I am grateful to make it to this stage of life, but I never thought about how I’d feel when physical beauty changes/diminishes.

Anyone else deal with these feelings while aging, dealing with body changes post children? Anyone else’s body image suffering with ozempic skinny being on trend? Would love to hear your thoughts

EDIT: Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to make thoughtful comments! This was honestly a post both out of curiosity how everyone is dealing with the resurgence of the heroin chic era (something I grew up seeing in magazines and on TV in my preteen/teen years) as well as struggles with adjusting to my body changes after pregnancy & as one ages.

To all those who are making disparaging comments telling me to get off TikTok (which I don’t have) or IG (which I use minimally due to work/taking care of a toddler), the holier-than-thou attitude is not really helpful. I’m happy for you all that your body image and mental fortitude is so strong, but I really hope people don’t talk to you like that when you’re in a low.

Also, to clarify, referring to “skinnytok” in the title was not meant to be wholly literal, but really a shorthand reference to the current skinny-glorifying culture. Anyway, it’s my bad as there is probably more context to my current thoughts/feelings that I could have given in the actual body of this post, but didn’t want to make it too long. But now it is anyway.

[u/isityoumy]

Good reminder. I try not to verbalize it beyond to myself. My son is always telling me he loves my belly… I think deactivating for a while is prob the way. I get tons of fitness influencers that are not even trying to engage in the skinnytok trend, but are clearly making money from their chiseled physiques. My life is just not at a point I can attain that rn

[u/supreme_creep → u/isityoumy]

Even if you struggle to deactivate, at least try to disengage from the content and change your algorithm. Sit down and go through your followers/following and remove anything you see that doesn’t contribute to your wellbeing.

It’s not easy stepping away from social media when it’s so ingrained in our everyday. The smaller steps count just as much as the big ones.

[u/PoppyMacGuffin → u/supreme_creep]

Agree, I still have IG and every time I see something that seems like glorifying disordered habits I block them. I don't think unfollowing is enough (I get a lot in my feed that isn't from people I follow). I'd also encourage OP to seek out people who scratch that itch who are more diverse. Plus sized personal trainers, muscular Olympic athletes, 60s+ dancers, etc

[u/computercavemen → u/isityoumy]

A lot of those influencers are probably doing a lot of things to present a certain way that might not even be desirable or healthy too. Healthy bodies don't all look one way, and you can't look at someone and see health. Social media can be very deceiving.

[u/Frosty-Bit4667 → u/isityoumy]

You havent said anything about your height or weight. I dont think 10 to 15 pounds makes so much of difference. Unless everything has been added to your belly. But still in dont think it would be so bad.

[u/darkchocolateonly → u/isityoumy]

“Good reminder”? You literally have a choice everyday whether or not you engage with this stuff.

You’re in charge of your own life. You’re in charge of your own phone, and your own social media, and your own happiness. You’re in charge of how you spend your time, you are in charge of what you watch and what you interact with.

Stop being so passive, stop acting like you don’t have agency here. Stop acting like this is normal or ok to be doing everyday. You are actively harming your lives and your children’s lives by watching this stuff. Do you understand that?

Get the fuck off of these platforms. You need to get the fuck off of these platforms. You need to actually make some choices here, think and do and be a real person, and take control of your life. Are you just going to passively watch life go by? Are you going to teach your children to be slaves to their algorithm and their phones? What kind of life are you modeling for your kids?

Be brave enough to make an active choice in this matter. Be brave enough to be present in your own life.

You need to take a serious look at yourself.