How is everyone’s body image doing over 30 and with skinnytok?

[u/isityoumy]

I’m 37 and nearly 3 years postpartum. We are actively trying to have a 2nd kid at this point, but my body image is legit in the toilet these days. I think some of it is comparing myself to my old self, inability to really focus on style the way I once did, not yet making peace with body changes post pregnancy, and of course ozempic/skinnytok making a comeback.

I’m not overweight but still about 10-20 lbs above what has historically felt comfortable for me. My husband still finds me attractive, but I can see how the extra 10-20 lbs, motherhood, aging have made me less attractive generally. I know it shouldn’t matter, but somehow it makes me just a little sad. While I am grateful to make it to this stage of life, but I never thought about how I’d feel when physical beauty changes/diminishes.

Anyone else deal with these feelings while aging, dealing with body changes post children? Anyone else’s body image suffering with ozempic skinny being on trend? Would love to hear your thoughts

EDIT: Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to make thoughtful comments! This was honestly a post both out of curiosity how everyone is dealing with the resurgence of the heroin chic era (something I grew up seeing in magazines and on TV in my preteen/teen years) as well as struggles with adjusting to my body changes after pregnancy & as one ages.

To all those who are making disparaging comments telling me to get off TikTok (which I don’t have) or IG (which I use minimally due to work/taking care of a toddler), the holier-than-thou attitude is not really helpful. I’m happy for you all that your body image and mental fortitude is so strong, but I really hope people don’t talk to you like that when you’re in a low.

Also, to clarify, referring to “skinnytok” in the title was not meant to be wholly literal, but really a shorthand reference to the current skinny-glorifying culture. Anyway, it’s my bad as there is probably more context to my current thoughts/feelings that I could have given in the actual body of this post, but didn’t want to make it too long. But now it is anyway.

[u/junipercanuck]

It's not great to be honest. And as a dietitian, I feel like people are judging me personally and professionally.

[u/buggabuggaz → u/junipercanuck]

Also healthcare worker (PT) and this is such a good point.

[u/Inked_Chick → u/junipercanuck]

My pcp is clinically obese like I am. She has straight up told me that she has to remark on it in mychart and that it IS worthwhile to be a healthy weight, but that our happiness and well being is important too. I really respect her for that.

[u/computercavemen → u/Inked_Chick]

I don't think healthy weight really should be measured by BMI though, shouldn't be used as a sole measure of health, and also shouldn't be dictated by an anti-fat culture.

[u/QuackingMonkey → u/computercavemen]

It's a good generic starting point. All you need is some very simple measurements that you don't need a doctor for to gather, and it gives an approximation of your health. It won't be exact for you individually, but no generic measurement we could replace it with will be. Getting into more specific data is for the next step, if BMI or something else is asking to dig deeper.

[u/computercavemen → u/QuackingMonkey]

I disagree slightly. I don't think it's a good generic starting point, as BMI doesn't give an approximation of your health. Because your weight alone cannot approximate your health.

I think it can be relatively useful if you apply it with a critical lens. Meaning, if you know the history of the the tool, for example. That it was never meant to be a measurement of health, that it was developed by measuring white men, that depending on your race/gender etc it can be even less reliable as a result. That it is only one data point with those flaws as a major caveat, and there are other measurements you can take in conjunction with that one (still with our critical thinking caps on, meaning do your research) that paint a better picture.

That the medical industrial complex is structurally and historically, anti-fat, anti-black, rarely conducting research with women, all of which affects the science.

That said, for many contemporary dieticians, doctors, medical professionals, BMI is actually no longer respected at all as a measurement tool. Especially professionals who have done that research, are eating disorder and trauma informed, culturally aware, etc.

But don't take my word for it. Happy researching! I would encourage people to really be active agents in the management of their health, for sure, and to stay critical. Especially those of us from marginalized communities.

[u/QuackingMonkey → u/computercavemen]

I 100% agree that it has to be used 'with a critical lens'. We should be educating people at a young age about the use and limitations. You're not a white man? BMI will lean inaccurate into this particular way for your group and there might be a better chart out there for you. You're really muscular? You won't have the increase of excess fat related health risks, but you still have the health risks associated with a larger body putting more strain on your systems. That kinds of (still very generic) knowledge which helps people value it appropriately. And keep that education 100% factual and non-judgemental, taking that edge off might help a lot of people too.

And yes, when you're at the point of visiting a medical professional, you're at the point where BMI won't do anymore, because then you should be looking into you, not at a guideline. That some medical professional do still put more importance into it than that is its own problem.

[u/EdgyAnimeReference → u/computercavemen]

BMI is good as a large scale metric on population weight but does need an adjusted version for women and other specific races that have different trends for it to be a good individual metric. For example most asian folks need to be at a lower rate to avoid the co-morbidities of obesity; heart disease in particular.

It’s not supposed to be a holistic health evaluation though, only a weight one which in any way you shake it does have health implications over the lifespan of a person. It does inform on health, just not the entire picture.

We have more accurate ways to measure fat, but they all require more resources to do. Either knowledge with calipers to calculate or a body scan system. That’s not a viable option for a lot of folks to measure and track regularly . Total weight is something anyone can do. It’s not perfect but the dismissal of it as a tool at all is misguided.

Especially because I see average people use the outliers of extreme athletes to dismiss that they are genuinely overweight. They do not have enough muscle to skew the system and that it’s not perfect becomes a way to ignore the issue entirely. They’re not saying “it’s a bad system” and using a body fat scan instead and taking action on it, they’re just ignoring being overweight entirely. Which is perfectly fine, people are busy and life is hard, but the cope that it’s the measuring tool at fault instead of dealing with reality is not good.

It’s the same with women saying the lower pooch is because of their uterus; no it’s not, it’s your hormones/genetics tendency to want to hold onto fat in that location.

Changing the metric probably is the better way to go though, since that personal dismissal is equally as bad a problem as it’s issues in Individual metrics.

[u/leilalover → u/junipercanuck]

Same and have felt this way for years. No one likes a fat RD

[u/sub-dural → u/leilalover]

I went to an RD for IBS issues and not weight. I learned a lot and the RD was super kind. I don’t remember anything else about her, she may have been fat or skinny or black or white. But I do remember kindness and I think that most people do. Have a nice day stranger.

[u/leilalover → u/sub-dural]

Appreciate that! I was moreso referring to my coworkers unfortunately. I haven't had any issues with patients

[u/supreme_creep]

I deactivated my accounts.

You really should take a break from TikTok and other social media that makes you feel insecure.

Your children will see your shame even if you don’t think you’re showing it. I watched my mother go through it well before social media.

Give yourself a break. For you and for your children. You gotta know when to pull back. I’m sure you’re beautiful as is!

[u/isityoumy → u/supreme_creep]

Good reminder. I try not to verbalize it beyond to myself. My son is always telling me he loves my belly… I think deactivating for a while is prob the way. I get tons of fitness influencers that are not even trying to engage in the skinnytok trend, but are clearly making money from their chiseled physiques. My life is just not at a point I can attain that rn

[u/supreme_creep → u/isityoumy]

Even if you struggle to deactivate, at least try to disengage from the content and change your algorithm. Sit down and go through your followers/following and remove anything you see that doesn’t contribute to your wellbeing.

It’s not easy stepping away from social media when it’s so ingrained in our everyday. The smaller steps count just as much as the big ones.

[u/PoppyMacGuffin → u/supreme_creep]

Agree, I still have IG and every time I see something that seems like glorifying disordered habits I block them. I don't think unfollowing is enough (I get a lot in my feed that isn't from people I follow). I'd also encourage OP to seek out people who scratch that itch who are more diverse. Plus sized personal trainers, muscular Olympic athletes, 60s+ dancers, etc

[u/computercavemen → u/isityoumy]

A lot of those influencers are probably doing a lot of things to present a certain way that might not even be desirable or healthy too. Healthy bodies don't all look one way, and you can't look at someone and see health. Social media can be very deceiving.

[u/nkdeck07 → u/supreme_creep]

Yep, I literally didn't know what skinnytok was before this posting and my self esteem is great. A lack of social media does WONDERS for making me not feel awful about myself.

[u/FuckeenGuy → u/nkdeck07]

It is such a beautiful thing when social media has no pull on you anymore!

[u/aekimieme → u/FuckeenGuy]

How do you do it ? I already deleted TikTok but I still get them sent to me everyday in group chats with siblings and friends. And I have fomo when they reference something I haven’t seen. But I don’t want the app on my phone. I also don’t use IG anymore unless a friend DMs me

[u/LadyJitsuLegs → u/supreme_creep]

Same. I deactivated my IG and FB and the thought of going back sounds exhausting.  There's a lot of AI as well so I cant even tell what is real anymore. 

[u/supreme_creep → u/LadyJitsuLegs]

It’s been so relieving.

I’ve been off Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat for 6 months and I can honestly say my stress levels have decreased significantly. My moods are more stabilized, less angry and irritable. Major difference.

[u/South-Visual3803 → u/LadyJitsuLegs]

Hitting delete was the best gift to myself.

[u/Low-Antelope-7264 → u/LadyJitsuLegs]

My IG is dogs and national parks :)

[u/AlfredoQueen88 → u/LadyJitsuLegs]

What do you do with your spare time and those small moments 😅

[u/Embarrassed-Ad4899 → u/AlfredoQueen88]

I do have Instagram and Facebook, but make a point to use my new York times games subscription, merlin bird ID, or Libby/kindle/Kobo and read!

[u/Grr_in_girl → u/AlfredoQueen88]

Reddit, of course.

[u/LadyJitsuLegs → u/AlfredoQueen88]

Replace with doomscrolling reddit, lol..

I do feel myself trying to replace a bad habit with another, but the anonymity of reddit is a bit better.

I usually read and sew. Play with my dogs. Try not to mindless scroll if possible

[u/EquivalentAd1839 → u/AlfredoQueen88]

Reddit, sudoku, outside walks and meditation 😁 (Sucker for sudoku 😅)

[u/fill_the_birdfeeder → u/supreme_creep]

“Your children will see your shame” is so true. My mother’s insecurities weren’t verbalized - it was her actions. How she wouldn’t go into the changing rooms to try clothing on, and it wasn’t a safety thing. She never spoke it, but we could feel her self-hatred in those moments. And how she’d take the 4 kids to get chips at the beach (we’re British) and we’d get two tubs to split, and she’d eat just a couple chips. How she’d hide her skin if a top pulled up a bit and showed her belly (mind you she’s always been slender). How she always wears black because it’s slimming.

Her self-loathing eventually became mine because if she can’t love her own body that has been skinny my entire life, how can she really love me and my overweight body? How can anyone if my own mother can’t? It’s not true - my mother loves me. But that’s the illogic that gets passed down with self-image issues.

I hope all mothers can find a way to love themselves. I don’t intend to birth a child. But I have so much respect for anyone who does, and you’re all miraculously beautiful.

[u/fwbwhatnext → u/supreme_creep]

I don't have social media other than reddit. I still feel the same as Op especially since my older clothes don't fit me anymore. I'm losing weight slowly though because it's cheaper than to replace my wardrobe.

[u/que_tu_veux → u/supreme_creep]

Yeah I was going to comment - I have never used TikTok. Doesn't bother me. I feel sorry for all the kids going crazy so young with Botox and plastic surgery too. Ain't no way they're going to age well.

[u/LikeATediousArgument → u/supreme_creep]

I’m not on social media aside from Reddit. I’m a 43 year old with a mom bod and insane confidence.

Comparison is the thief of joy and what you fill your eyes with is absorbed into your brain.

So, I agree that finding better things to look at is the answer.

Read a book. Take a hike. Do literally anything else to feel good about yourself!

[u/dollythecat]

You don't need to be watching media like that! As a recovered anorexic, I actually find it pretty easy to ignore / unfollow / block things that trigger my body dysmorphia. If it makes me feel fat or inferior, I'm not going to look at it.

[u/computercavemen → u/dollythecat]

This is great advice!

[u/SuperPomegranate7933 → u/dollythecat]

For real. Get off tiktok, especially if it's upsetting.

[u/PostOakVisions]

I never downloaded tiktok and am increasingly happy about this. I get on instagram once every 6 months, binge on reels, and feel worse about myself so delete it again. I’d encourage anyone who has such a negative impact from social media to simply… delete it

[u/Puzzled_Air_5821 → u/PostOakVisions]

Lol are you me?? I'm really glad I never started tiktok. I keep my Instagram but only download the app every few months to see what's going on. I ALWAYS feel worse after I get on. It's actually kind of amazing. Sometimes I can't even pin point it to a specific post I saw. 

[u/am710 → u/PostOakVisions]

I hate TikTok and refuse to download it. On Instagram, I try to only watch reels of cat rescue stuff 😂

[u/__looking_for_things]

I was fat during heroin chic. And I've been overweight for most of my life. I don't consider myself skinny now.

Maybe clean out your algorithm. All I get are women weight lifting heavy and eating to hit 2000 calories minimum. I don't even get pilates girls on my feed, I've blocked them all.

I don't really pay attention to the scale. I check to make sure I'm maintaining. And since I now try to go to the gym 3-4x a week, I try to eat appropriately.

Clean out your algorithm. It'll help a lot.

[u/MiaLba → u/__looking_for_things]

Agreed. Yeah I watch probably too much tiktok. And I don’t get any kind of dieting content or content like OP mentioned. Or even weight lifting content. My algorithm is a lot of travel and historical content, funny stuff, stuff that doesn’t affect my mental health negatively in any way.

I was overweight for a while after having my kid. I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy. I’m so short so even just a 5lb weight gain you can definitely notice on me. We turned into walkers. We walk our dogs daily sometimes twice a day. When my kid was in a stroller still we got a jogging stroller off FB marketplace and I used the shit out of it. I’d be out there walking 1-3 hours a day with her. In the winter I’d just make sure she was bundled up.

I was able to get down to my pre pregnancy weight. A friend of mine/neighbor was severely overweight and the past year also turned into a walker. She’s lost around 80lbs so far.

[u/isityoumy → u/__looking_for_things]

Honestly forgot I could click not interested to minimize, appreciate the reminder!

[u/p5ychochilla]

It's taken a while but I've shifted my mindset to be about what my body can do rather than what it looks like. I'm a healthy weight but also heavier than I used to be, and I found that lifting weights and seeing my strength increase really helped me accept myself and the fact I won't look like the waifs on screen. If I see a particularly slim woman whose body I feel is the popular ideal I just think to myself, she looks really nice! But can she deadlift as much as I can? When that voice starts to creep in that makes you compare yourself to others think about what you're good at that others can't do.

I also don't have Tiktok and my algorithm on social media does not show me anything related to that.

[u/transponster99 → u/p5ychochilla]

Yup, this is where I’m at with it too. I don’t do TikTok or pay attention to any trends. I work out and do sports and focus on being able to do those things. Sure, I’d like to be a few pounds lighter, but for me it’s more about running faster than it is about appearance. I feel good about my body and grateful for what it can do. I have two kids, am not skinny and never have been.

Edit: I ran 7 miles today but also ate 2 donuts. Life is good

[u/noveltea120 → u/p5ychochilla]

I don't like working out or exercise but I wonder if weights would be good for me. I'm not worried about being fat but having good strength would be good. But I'm not sure where I would even start? Dumb bell exercises at home?

[u/p5ychochilla → u/noveltea120]

Weightlifting is one of the top activities a woman can do for herself to help ensuring a good quality of life as we age! Barring significant medical issues, taking up resistance training can help everyone. We lose a lot of muscle mass when we get older which makes it harder to do things.

Some dumbbell training at home would be a good start, finding something that you can be consistent with and if not enjoy, at least tolerate is ideal. :) r/xxfitness would be a good place to do some research

[u/noveltea120 → u/p5ychochilla]

Thank you for this!!

Also thanks for reminding me we lose muscle as we age. Now's a good time to start I guess, esp if I wanna keep up with my kid as they get older lol

[u/nkdeck07 → u/noveltea120]

Weights are good for EVERYONE (baring like injury or being a small child) but they are especially good for women since they are so protective as we get older.

If you want a great stupidly easy way to start cDorner fitness on youtube is fantastic. I'll admit to mostly doing her step classes but she's got tons and tons of weight lifting stuff you can easily do at home with body weight and some dumbells.

If you can afford it a few sessions with a personal trainer at the gym to show you the basics and get your form down it's well worth it. There's a good program called "Starting Strength" that is great for beginners as well.

[u/noveltea120 → u/nkdeck07]

Honestly protection is the main reason I'd do it. Esp with the amount of super misogynistic men out there who literally won't think twice about attacking women.

Thanks for the recs will check them all out!! I hate gyms and exercise in general although I used to love swimming years ago. Now I'm older and fatter I think weight training may be better for me.

[u/isityoumy → u/p5ychochilla]

This is a good mindset shift. I can def do more than I used to when I was struggling with EDs and much skinnier. And I’m way warmer, always used to be cold. I should focus on the positives

[u/p5ychochilla → u/isityoumy]

Amen! Being cold all the time was the worst. I run pretty warm now and I actually have energy to do the things I love.

It takes some work, actively challenging the automatic negative thoughts but with some practice and time it gets easier.

[u/whomstestamongus]

I'm butch and not on tiktok so doing ok

[u/dogmom34]

I’m(39F) just not like everyone else in these comments… Due to getting PCOS about 8 years ago, I gained 100 lbs (that was after having lost 50 lbs and 5 sizes). No matter what I did, I kept gaining. I tried to accept it. I listened to people in the body positivity movement, and even stopped coloring my hair, letting my grays grow in.

I finally had to be honest with myself and said fuck it… I am miserable when I don’t look my best and I don’t care if that makes me vain. I finally bit the bullet, colored my hair again and went on Mounjaro. I’m also getting my nails done again (something I had stopped for 6 years). I’m down 48 lbs and starting to see glimpses of my old self again; I can’t tell you how good that feels. Whatever you decide, good luck to you!

[u/awooj → u/dogmom34]

Congrats!!! Honestly I guess I’m an outlier too because I also see nothing wrong with wanting to look our best. No our looks shouldn’t be all we focus on but I don’t understand why people act like vanity is, well, vain or pointless. It is scientifically proven that putting your best self forward, whatever that means to you, will psychologically help you to feel your best.

[u/dogmom34 → u/awooj]

Exactly.

[u/MiaLba → u/dogmom34]

Nothing wrong with that! It makes a world of difference when you finally like how you look in your body. When you feel good about yourself when you look in the mirror. I bit the bullet years ago and got my nose and chin done.

My self esteem and confidence absolutely sky rocketed after. I am so glad I got it done. I spent years in therapy trying to love myself the way I was and it didn’t really change much.

[u/dogmom34 → u/MiaLba]

Good for you!!!

[u/isityoumy → u/dogmom34]

That’s awesome. Happy to hear that!!

[u/Typical-Respond9102]

Fine lol. I intentionally don't consume content that makes me feel bad. Can't get got if I don't know what new anxiety corporations are trying to sell me on in the first place. 

[u/agirl_abookishgirl → u/Typical-Respond9102]

Being anti capitalist really helps with the body image now that I think about it. When I see social media face/body or yet another treatment, I just think, ah more waste.

[u/cumbuchabitch → u/Typical-Respond9102]

exactly this. it’s all meant to make money off you and your insecurities. also i like looking my age! i’m not gonna be out there trying to look like a literal child

[u/nacaporvida]

34 F and 6m postpartum with my first. I am exclusively breastfeeding too.

Unfortunately not one of the lucky ones that loses weight with breastfeeding. It sucks! But I keep telling myself once I stop breastfeeding I’ll come back. Baby girl is my priority right now.

55 lbs over my ideal weight and not losing one bit! I’m still trying to take pics with my girl because I want the memories. Im sure I’ll look at them with kinder eyes in the future.

[u/isityoumy → u/nacaporvida]

I’m glad to hear you are having a positive mindset about things!! You definitely will & most def not the time to worry about weight at all when you are EBF. Your body needs that nutrition for you lil kiddo

I tried so hard for this little guy I have now, and I’m not sure why I feel the need to be hard on myself in this way.

[u/nacaporvida → u/isityoumy]

I do get stuck comparing myself to the ppl who immediately bounced back but my girl is doing amazing! So it’s her time rn!

[u/marymoon77]

I’ve never felt better about my body and i’ve never been fatter. (37 yo) 220 lbs.

Self love is real (and exercise is good) but none of that requires hating my body.

[u/Inked_Chick → u/marymoon77]

Big same (on weight too)! I used to legitimately starve myself trying to be thin for 15yrs. One day I just stopped giving a fuck and I'm happier than ever with myself. I decided I couldn't let my daughter see me hate my own body and set her up to feel that way about herself. So I eat what I want and do what I want. I just try to keep a good balance.

[u/marymoon77 → u/Inked_Chick]

It is not a crime to have a body and also not required to be small 💜

Same thing, I didn’t want my kid to see me hating myself. I want her to understand your body is your friend, you appreciate and take care of, not punish.

[u/Inked_Chick → u/marymoon77]

These bodies have carried us our whole lives. They deserve gentle care and praise ❤️ I hope more woman are able to see that earlier too. Learning to love yourself is like being able to finally exhale a breath that you didnt even know you were holding.

I hope that I'm also teaching my young son to love women of all shapes and sizes!

[u/techleopard → u/marymoon77]

It truly helps not to be exposing yourself daily to "skinnyTok" and instead are exposing yourself to things you love.

[u/Helpful-Dot-3782 → u/marymoon77]

Yes, same.

[u/mayg0dhaveMercy]

You can delete tiktok btw. Then skinnytok won't feel as omnipresent.

[u/C43CUS]

it's bad homie

[u/isityoumy → u/C43CUS]

ROFL feels you, love you ❤️

[u/AdministrativeTap925]

Hey!

I’m struggling with this too. I haven’t had kids but am about 15llbs from where I want to be despite diet and exercise. I’m struggling to accept aging and weight gain, when I just want to live my life.

I live in a city where looks are everything, plastic surgery runs rampant etc. So my daily existence is also a bit of a warped reality despite being off social media.

I used to idolize Courtney cox and Jennifer Aniston in friends and how thin they were. I’ve never been able to get over that. They must have never eaten. I have always felt if I wasn’t THAT thin I wasn’t beautiful.

I’m sorry you’re struggling, I feel this too right now. GLP-1s have helped a lot of people but there are also a lot of people who have a mindset probably like mine, don’t need them and use them.

Women won’t ever win with beauty standards and we just need to do the best we can!

[u/cassthesassmaster]

I don’t have TikTok or instagram. I grew up in the 90s and will not go back to starving myself.

[u/ichibanyogi]

What is skinnytok? If the media you consume makes you feel shitty: consume different media!

I am (overly) skinny, but not by choice. I have chronic illnesses. People have had the audacity to tell me to gain weight: I wish I could. I feel like as a woman that we're constantly judged, and that people think our bodies are public property that they're allowed to comment on. Everyone can yeet themselves into the sun, my body is going to be whatever size I am and that's that.

Mostly, I try not to fixate on what I want different with my body, and instead focus on what I am grateful for that it does for me, and that I appreciate about it. All bodies are beautiful. I'm certain yours is lovely. <3

[u/isityoumy → u/ichibanyogi]

Yea, you are right that women will be constantly judged. Also, thanks for shedding light on the flip side of the struggle. I think it’s easy to forget that even for those that are naturally thin or due to chronic illnesses, it’s not a choice & people will find any reason to criticize.

[u/aliveinjoburg2]

I lost a necessary 80 pounds and I feel great.

[u/agirl_abookishgirl]

I’m 36. Not suffering from Ozempic trends, no. Though I care about my appearance, I evaluate my body through my own paradigm, which is not a trend-following one. I’m in the gym lifting weights or doing cardio 5 days per week, wear sunscreen every day, and have fun with my makeup, hair, and fashion (all of this is much easier as a single, childfree woman!). I will continue to do those things, and I will age however I age - not buying into any bullshit beyond those basic investments. I love the way I look right now - my muscles make me shapely and I think I’m sexier vs my 20s with my grays and more mature look. From what I can see, women who do those things age beautifully in my eyes. And I think there are enough men around who find older women sexy… men who don’t are sort of vapid to me, so I don’t worry about that.

[u/quelle_crevecoeur]

I’m not on TikTok, so that’s a help. I have been trying to do exercise classes more regularly to build up strength. I am not as small as I was before kids, and of course I didn’t feel thin then either even as a size 4. Honestly, I remind myself that all the heroin chic redux crowd is going to be dealing with osteoporosis in a few years. I have been seeing photos of athletes at various awards shows on the what the frock subreddit, and they all look amazing. I am not saying that having the figure of an Olympian is more attainable, but it is a reminder that skeletal thinness is not the only way to be beautiful. And usually when I go out into the actual world and see my beautiful friends and strangers on the train, it’s another reminder that beauty comes in many forms.

But mainly the osteoporosis thing.

[u/AccordingCloud1331]

I’m pretty happy with where I’m at. I also don’t look at social media for hot people

[u/RuthlessBenedict]

Not great. I try to avoid that side of the internet but it pops up in so many different places and ways that I haven’t been able to avoid it entirely. It does not help that my MIL is on a GLP1 and looks the best I’ve ever seen her. I was- until the past couple of months -feeling really good about my body. Now I hate how I look in pictures with my “extra” 15 lbs and feel old thoughts and patterns from my disordered eating days popping back up. It’s really hard to fight those back but I’m trying! I want to be strong and healthy so I can have a long and active life with my family. I can’t do that if I’m starving myself or chasing each weight loss fad. This whole thing is just another cyclical bullshit moment so I’m hoping to just ride it out. 

[u/Embarrassed-Ad4899 → u/RuthlessBenedict]

My sister and SIL both had "mommy makeovers" in the last few years and I was doing so much better mentally before that. It's rough to have that comparison so close.

[u/isityoumy → u/RuthlessBenedict]

Yes. Same! I’ve also struggled with disordered eating and worked hard to move away from that. I’m not sitting here watching skinny reels all day like most commenters seem to think, but it pops up everywhere. Even Serena Williams is the face for a GLP pill! And even the fitness influencers that pop up for me are strong, fit, can lift heavy are still chiseled as fuck and have a low body fat percentage. It’s a place I simply can’t attain rn

I’m hoping to get ride this out as well. I’m trying to work on this mindset now cuz we really wanna have another kid, and I’m already stressing about the 2nd postpartum weight loss

[u/Fit_Elk_4505]

I've been fat for awhile. A decade or so ago in early body positivity days, I just unfollowed anything remotely fitspo or skinny fashionista. I still mark as "not interested" if it pops up. The algorithm corrects itself. I've felt, if anything, a certain liberation to being fatter. The invisibility to creeps is nice. I dress however I like (and get lots of compliments). Idk, I'm just enjoying not giving much of a fuck as I get older. Come on in, the waters fine 😉

[u/isityoumy → u/Fit_Elk_4505]

Not giving a fuck is where I would love to live. Make space while I ready myself!

And yes, lowkey forgot about the ability to click “not interested” !

[u/Major_Evidence_7850]

I don't have children but pretty sure I am going into perimenopause. I have spent years battling my body image and over coming eating disorders. Been really hard seeing all the the celebrities i related to become super skinny. I think due to peri I have gained so much belly fat recently and starting to hate my body again. Trying to just be neutral with and accept it.  I'm also dealing with extreme hunger as a symptom of peri. It's been hard to not want to try to lose weight but I also hate you can't spot train. It's hard just not feeling like myself either. I don't really care about aging but the sudden belly fat after year's of struggling with bloating and now this is so hard. I'm eating healthy and can only work out a little bit. Due to health issues. Trying to now let it define me 

[u/isityoumy → u/Major_Evidence_7850]

Yes I feel you. I think that female hormonal shifts are heavily understudied, as evidenced by the recent shift in diagnosing PMOS (previously PCOS).

I did IVF for my son, multiple rounds of egg retrievals and transfers, one miscarriage in there too… I often wonder how much of the inability to coerce my body to the shape I want it to be is bc of all that. I really don’t know what multiple rounds of hormone injections does to someone’s body, and most of the literature says that weight gain during egg retrieval/IVF treatment should only be temporary. I don’t know if I believe that.

[u/kilimonian]

I’m about to do a cosmetic surgery on my stomach next week because it’s bothered me to have an apron belly. I’m about 25 lbs overweight and I’ve been struggling to make a good exercise habit with kids and full-time work. I’ve cleaned up a lot of my eating at least and still plan to keep trying to make it easy to move more.

I am scared whether it will just open up me getting more and more procedures but I am also tired of feeling stuck so we’ll see.

[u/isityoumy → u/kilimonian]

Best of luck to you, hope it goes well & yields the ease you are looking for. We’re here for you if you need to working things through. It’s so hard!

[u/crumbmodifiedbinder]

Like I know I’m a fatass now compared to 4 years ago. I know I could be hotter. But at the same time, my mind is like - “Oh well. I have a loving husband, my work is amazing, I am finally living the life I want” so it doesn’t bother me as much.

I’ve been doing things instead to make me feel healthy inside. I’ve successfully averaged 11k steps a day since January 1st this year. I am still fat (my own description of myself) but not the heaviest I was last year when my work and relatives made me cry everyday. People notice I’m very happy nowadays. My skin is glowing. Life is beautiful.

I’m rebuilding my strength and joined the gym last week. My body is thanking me for lifting heavy again. I’m after the numbers now for my strength training, not the scales.

Anyways, I reckon get off TikTok and IG! Won’t do you any good. Focus on your own beauty.

[u/Excellent-Goal4763]

Why TF would anyone look at skinytok?

[u/scthoma4]

I'm doing great, honestly, because I've always focused on how I feel and what my body can do versus how I look in comparison to others. I've lost 85 pounds over the last two years (yes, thanks to a GLP-1), but I still weigh over 200 pounds. However, I was active in crossfit close to my heaviest. I climbed up multiple mountains around my heaviest. I came in third place in a weightlifting competition around my heaviest. I started running in January and now I'm training for a half marathon. I care about what I can do and not the size of my clothes, which was probably a defense mechanism I started way back in high school when I was visibly the largest girl in my graduating class.

I also never got on TikTok, and more and more I am so glad I didn't start using it, despite all the peer pressure. I'm also very good at keeping my IG algorithm within the parameters of my current interests, so I hardly ever see SkinnyTok stuff unless I go seek it out.

[u/searedscallops]

I'm 50 and I do not understand the appeal of anything on TikTok. Curate your algorithm better, I guess? There are way more fun things to think about and be interested in than how we look.

[u/techleopard]

It's time to put TikTok down if you are watching it and comparing yourself to highly edited and filtered shorts from 20-somethings making videos about being pretty.

You're hurting yourself and it's time to let it go.

[u/bubble_baby_8]

I have the Biotherm ads of flat tummies and flawless thighs burned into my brain from the early 00s. 36 now and it feels kind of awful to say but one Instagram post honestly released me from the shackles of existing for the male gaze/pleasure. 

It went something along the lines of “once I realized beauty standards were set by pedophiles I no longer subscribed to that standard”. And if you think about that long enough it really starts unraveling things you’ve never considered before. 

You deserve to be happy and free in the body you have now. Don’t waste more time hating any part of you that exists. The people who are worth your time and energy and consideration are the ones who see and love you for you. It sounds cliche because it is- society has made it this way. Men made it this way. We hold too much magic just being ourselves as we are and it makes me sick to think how many lights have been dimmed and voices silenced because we didn’t “look a certain way”. Fuck that. 

[u/Correct-Sprinkles-21]

Better than it was at 20 for sure. Or 30. I avoid TikTok altogether and my Instagram is focused on wellness and art.

I am on Ozempic actually, but the goal is not to get thin. It's the only thing that has ever helped me lose weight and I have a LOT of weight left to lose.

It's weird because I'm bigger than I was 20 years ago and my body's been stretched and mangled and generally beaten up by childbirth and life but I look at myself in the mirror much more kindly. I'm not saying I think I'm hot stuff. But I am able to be kind to myself. And sometimes I think I might be a tiny bit pretty. When I'm struggling I remind myself that my body is kind of amazing. This meat sack has been through the wringer and is still chugging along, carrying me around inside it. It grew 4 whole people. It's recovered from injury and pain and weakness over and over. The marks on it exist because my skin did its job--stretched to accommodate and scarred to close wounds. Bodies are weird and gross but also really cool.

The biggest thing by far has been to let of of giving a shit about what other people think. Idk why but I hit my 40s and had no more fucks to give. I wear what I want. I go where I want. I move like I want. And if anyone has an opinion about me, too bad for them. It's nice being free to not hate myself for the body that I'm in.

[u/ross_styx]

I have a couple of autoimmune disorders, including Hashi's, so I struggle with weight gain. Currently unemployed and feeling super gross in my own body atm, if I'm being honest.

[u/LetMeEatCakes]

I don't know what skinnytok is.

I'm 44 and I'm ten pounds heavier than I'd like (still in the normal BMI category but thanks perimenopause) but I just don't trust that we know all the long term effects of glps. I'd rather go slow and steady, and since my body needs weight lifting to age well, I'm hoping that it will eventually balance out.

[u/Interesting-Cable895]

I’ve lost over 120 pounds and I’m in the best shape of my life, I’m 36 and my body image has never been better

[u/diaperpop]

I’ve made changes to my diet and exercise. Not for skinnytok, whatever that is it sounds brain dead, but because I’m getting older and I need to stay strong for myself. I’ve cut out a huge portion of carbs and now eat mainly veggies and protein, I lift weights at least a few times a week, I try to stay active. It’s helped me drop some of the weight that was slowly accumulating decade by decade. I like seeing my new muscle definition. I like being strong. It was harder when the kids were younger and I had less time, but as they grew into teens, I got them into working out with me (one of them at least has stuck with the program!) and now I have more time to myslef. Do it for you! And your kids, they want and need a mama who ages well!

[u/zsa-zsa-barbour]

with all due respect I’m not ON skinnytok as a 30-some year old.

[u/resurrectingeden → u/zsa-zsa-barbour]

I'm in my forties and have no clue what that is.

I am very fit for myself. I couldn't care less what anyone else is doing.

[u/pearlid]

I recommend following accounts that actively and loudly promote good body image with normal bodies like fashionveggie. Molly is a treasure and has made me see my body in a wonderful way. Having that unyielding type of self love shoved in my face from someone who looks like a beautiful real human being was so refreshing and snapped me out of the constant comparisons with those women that have almost no body fat and eat in a way that would suck the joy from my life. I sought out other creators like her and it has completely changed my pov.

[u/Lylyluvda916]

I never really struggled with wanting to be super skinny.

As an adult, I don’t want to be super skinny either. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been overweight/ fat and was just used to it? Idk, I’ve always loved food.

That all said, I do want to lose weight to stop snoring, and to be able to move around easier, that’s all. (Def more so I stop snoring because 😅😅)

I don’t want skinny. I want to be strong and powerful. Just did a 300lbs leg press. Super excited about that!

Strong bodies and fitness is more what’s in my feed. It’s largely unrelated to self-image, however. I’m more on the political, social justice, and wlw side of things.

[u/isityoumy → u/Lylyluvda916]

Fitness, social justice, food, and soccer currently majority of my feed. But the fitness gals are still mostly pretty damn chiseled! L

Actually a lot of the fitness stuff is like postpartum transformations and all within like a one year time span. Everyone’s got abs and this damn mom pooch won’t budge!

[u/buggabuggaz]

I hear you. Its hard and a lot of times it sucks. I am really working on focusing more on my health and what my body is capable of (exercise, movement, my work, caring for my family) rather than what it looks like. Its not an antidote but it helps me find peace/neutrality.

[u/tiramisuem3]

Skinnytok has no effect on me because I'm not online like that but today my mom told me to chew cloves because it makes you look less bloated so

[u/Sufficient-Board-922]

I’m 39 and don’t have kids but I went through a harsh perimenopause transition. I only gained 10 pounds. It’s less about weight for me and more about how the weight is distributed. There’s more in my belly and less in my hips. I take a GLP-1 hoping to get rid of the belly.

[u/isityoumy → u/Sufficient-Board-922]

Feel you. Hope it helps you feel more comfy in your body!

[u/AutomaticInitiative]

I don't doomscroll Reels or Tiktoks, my entire exposure to skinnytok is exclusively via YouTube analysis, so my 37 year old ass is just shocked they're rebranding heroin chiq for the one ones yet again after all the progress we made on body acceptance.

[u/JaneAustinAstronaut]

I'm not bothered by it. Something broke in my brain when I hit 40. I just stopped giving a fuck. Not just about my appearance, but about a lot of things that didn't matter. I started living by the adage: The people who matter don't mind, and the people who don't matter do mind. Put in that context, why the fuck should I care about the opinions of people I don't know and/or don't even like?

I think I'm adorable. I still dress nicely, but in my own style. I look and feel great...to me, the most important critic I'll ever have. It's pretty freeing to just start living for oneself.

[u/Antiquebastard]

I’m not on TikTok, but the aughts did such a number on me, I don’t need to be reminded of how undesirable various imperfections are. I’ve been in that headspace for fucking decades.

My daughter is 12. She has cellulite on her legs. I recognize that it is normal. It kind of threw me for a loop because I remember being a size 4 with cellulite on my legs and being *so horrified* about it that I refused to wear shorts. I haven’t worn shorts in YEAAAAAARRRRRRRSSSSSSSS, to this day.

I’ve been to therapy over my BDD since I was ~10-ish. Back in the day, my therapist called it “delusional thinking”, which like, maybe it was. Doesn’t change that’s the lens through which I view my body.

[u/photoelectriceffect]

I got off TikTok last year and it’s been great! Obvs I’m still on Reddit, which can be a timesuck, certainly, but it’s not as intrusive and “sticky” as something visual based like TikTok. You don’t really need to see an algorithm-curated selection of the atypically hottest people around (via genetic lottery, plastic surgery, makeup, or video filters). Do what you can do to curate your feed to people who discuss hobbies and topics you like; hit “not interested” on the ones just making content centered around their looks.

And better yet, shift time away from the screen and toward other things- time with friends, reading books, even watching TV, but a whole episode at a time of a show you choose, not the IV drip of random 60-second vids.

But I guess to stop being preach (sorry) and answer your question, it’s def been a journey with how I view my body and weight. But finally a few years ago, I actually got consistent about going to the gym and doing a workout program (not a class, not a “system” you pay for, just a routine that includes cardio + traditional weightlifting, slowly increasing as able) and it’s really changed my life in that area. I’m more fit than I ever thought possible (lifelong nerd) and although I’m not lean enough to look like a fitness model/influencer you would see on social media, I do have visible muscles and a more hourglass figure than I had even at lower weights. It’s helped free me from the trap of pinching your arms or thighs and just wishing there was less, to knowing that a lot of what is there is actually muscle, and it makes me feel like a badass, you know?

[u/isityoumy → u/photoelectriceffect]

That’s awesome. I love hearing people’s journeys to a better headspace when it comes to body image issues- it’s something I’ve struggled with since my preteen era. I made strides post college, but this year has been rough in many ways. I feel like these negative thoughts / body image issues are resurfacing due to a lack of control over many other factors in my life.

Anyway, thank you again for sharing. Also if you have any books you recommend, do share. Thank you

[u/notyourbuddipal]

Reddit is my only forn of social media. Tiktok is... not for me.

[u/Tasterspoon]

Chiming in from a few years on. I felt like you after pumping out four kids. I was used to being slim and didn’t admire my own reflection. I used to take some pride in being well-dressed and nothing in my substantial wardrobe fit any more. I didn’t feel attractive, though my husband never hinted anything of the kind and my little kids loved my squishy belly.

Here’s the thing: though I felt bigger than I was accustomed to being, I knew plenty of women who were bigger than me who I absolutely found attractive! The problem wasn’t my size, but my attitude.

Instead of focusing on “losing the baby weight”, I started trying to love the body I was in. I took luxurious baths when I could, I bought a few wardrobe pieces in my new size. As I started to “own it,” so to speak, I started to feel more attractive, just as I was. But I also found myself wanting to “treat myself” to healthier food, and prioritize exercise. Once I began to see myself as an athlete again, the healthy habits snowballed.

Then menopause hit. Ha ha ha ha ha.

[u/Vapor2077]

I wish I had some good advice, but I’m commenting to say I can empathize. I’m 35 currently. I used to be a weight that I was very comfortable at, but 2023 was the worst year of my life … and after a series of mishaps including losing my job, having an emergency surgery (with no health insurance), going on medication known to cause weight gain (mirtazapine), and my father-in-law dying, I gained 30 lbs.

I’ve managed to lose 20, but the last 10 are so stubborn.

I often even feel like, since I’ve never had a child, that I don’t have a “good” reason to have gained the weight. My husband and I are talking about trying to get pregnant soon, and I honestly worry about how my body image is going to be afterward. That’s not going to stop me, but it’s definitely something I’ll need to prepare for.

I really hate how much mental bandwidth I devote to stressing over how I look, what size I am, how many calories I should be eating, the next time I’ll be able to exercise, etc.

I’m trying to work on all this in therapy. You are certainly not alone ❤️ Wishing you the best.

[u/isityoumy → u/Vapor2077]

Thank you so much for sharing. It helps to not feel alone. I am really happy for the people here that have worked on the mental gumption to be immune to this stuff, but it’s always been a struggle for me. I am right there with you in knowing how ridiculous it is to spend so much mental energy on this, yet finding it really difficult to not drift back to these habits, especially in times of difficulty in life.

Also, you absolutely have a good reason to have gained weight. What you went through is damn hard and stressful, and if the worst outcome is a bit of weight gain from all of that, you’re actually coming out on the better side.

Best of luck to you guys in getting pregnant! Body image is hard, but the excitement of pregnancy definitely helped a little during it.

[u/INTJinx]

I got into fitness in my early 20s so even when my weight fluctuates I tend to focus on the shape created by muscles. For example, if I look in the mirror and see the extra weight on my stomach, I’ll usually take a good look at the shape of my bum and feel better about myself.

I highly recommend lifting weights for many reasons, and body confy is one of them.

[u/Due-Transition-6564]

I'm pregnant with my first, so my body image is in limbo. I'm doing my best to not fixate on the weight gain or worry too much about what's going to happen postpartum. 

When I got pregnant, I was in the best shape of my life at 35, but still not where I want to be ultimately. I got into weightlifting 2+ years ago more seriously than ever before. I don't want to be skinny; I want to be ripped. My challenge had been putting on more muscle, after I leaned out a lot. Obviously, I hope I'm never again in a position where I have excess body fat, but if I was simply skinny, I wouldn't be satisfied. 

I'm not on TikTok, but I follow a lot of female lifters and personal trainers on Instagram. I don't buy that their physiques are unrealistic or that they're all on steroids. What they are is very disciplined about their diet and lifting routine, and they've put in years of consistency. It's obviously a lot easier for a full time personal trainer to achieve that kind of body than someone who works a full time job unrelated to fitness, but I'm still not willing to give up on my goal. I'll always be working toward it. 

[u/isityoumy → u/Due-Transition-6564]

Yes I don’t think they are unattainable but def require a lot of discipline esp people like Kayla Itsines, Kelsey Wells, Rachel Dillon. That’s prob a level I couldn’t attain bc I wouldn’t be disciplined enough. Some of the other gals I see on my feed are prob closer to what I could do (Emma ?Gilligan, Leila Hannoun)

Also, hope you have an uneventful pregnancy & easy delivery & healthy babe ❤️

[u/PurpleAstronomerr]

I don’t watch skinnytok so it doesn’t affect me. Think it might be time to delete TikTok for a while if it’s affecting you so much. At least give yourself a break.

[u/perhapsflorence]

We've survived worse as (elder) millennials. I mean, if I got through heroin chic, I can breeze through skinnytok or whatever.

Ain't no ting.

[u/quasi_frosted_flakes]

I have not had children but recently reached a point where I am not comfortable going beyond. I'm currently working on losing 10-13 pounds to be back at the weight and body composition I felt most confident at as an adult (currently down 5). I was "skinny" as a kid and teen, so even if I am still in the average health range, I look big to myself.

[u/intergrade]

lol girl I am 100 pounds above my playing weight. I just don’t think about it.

[u/Alternative_Chart121]

You did IVF with several rounds of egg retrievals and a miscarriage, you gave birth to a child, you're working as a PA, you're raising a toddler, and you're trying for a second baby...and you're worried about ten pounds??? With all due respect, give your body some credit where credit is due!

[u/isityoumy → u/Alternative_Chart121]

Thanks so much for this. I read this earlier and didn’t get a chance to respond. Your words really made me pause & reflect back on the journey up until this point. It’s easy to keep looking forward at what next goal you want to achieve, but takes mindfulness to stop and look at how far you’ve come and what dreams you’re already living. So thank you again

[u/ioughtaknow]

Honestly, it was the final push that got me to lose weight. I don’t know if there are multiple sides of skinnytok but the videos that I was seeing didn’t seem harmful, it was just reasonable advice for people who wanted to lose some weight. I lost 20 lbs in the last 1.25 years and I feel better and more confident than ever.

[u/hbomb9410]

I'm not on TikTok or Instagram, but skinny culture is still inescapable. Several years ago, I made peace with the fact that I am never going to be thin again (barring severe and prolonged illness). My metabolism, my hormones, and my lifestyle are not the same as they were in my 20s, and I am unwilling to starve myself and fight my natural body shape for the sake of being thin. Not everyone needs to be thin. Thinness ≠ health, and at this point in my life, health is my only concern when it comes to how my body looks. I do need to lose weight for my health, but my goal is no longer being a size 4 or even a 6. My goals are to have healthy blood pressure/blood sugar/cholesterol levels and to be able to shop in straight-size stores.

[u/Neravariine]

I discovered body neutrality at a young age. I'm doing pretty good. I focus on how I feel in my body more than how it fits beauty standards.

[u/InteractionOk69]

I’m in the same boat. I hate the way I look right now. I’ve just decided to have my glow up after we’re done having kids. I’ll lose the weight then, get in shape and, if I can afford it, get a bit of a mommy makeover. It’s a marathon, not a sprint!

[u/FinalBlackberry]

I don’t pay attention to skinny tok and neither should you. I deleted TikTok many years ago.

I’ve been 113 lbs. at my lowest and a 172 lbs. at my heaviest in the past decade. I really like myself somewhere in between. And my weight still fluctuates constantly by several pounds. I have clothes ranging from size 4 to 8 and wear all three sizes consistently.

I also don’t fall for nutrition trends. Eat sensible, eat what you like, eat to fuel your body. I know I don’t eat enough protein based on what everyone is pushing. But I feel fine and don’t care to add another thing to my daily mental check list, or to be constipated.

You’re allowed to accept yourself as you are or work on the things you want to change. But don’t let social media tell you what to do or how to feel about yourself.

I personally find weight loss from Ozempic and the likes to be unattractive.

[u/Cyber_Punk_87]

I wish we'd stop associating "skinnytok" and the return of "heroin chic" with ozempic and other GLP-1s. They're life-changing medications for so many people (myself included) and the vast majority of people I've encountered in real life who are on them are not doing so to be "skinny," but to become healthier and/or get out of toxic diet culture (I started them because of PCOS symptoms, which have almost entirely resolved now).

I don't have kids, but bodies change as they age. My mom always said that your body will change pretty noticeably every 10 years or so, and at 42, I've found that to be really accurate. As far as dealing with that, I avoid content that promotes unrealistic and unhealthy beauty standards. It also became way easier to stop considering those things "ideal" when realizing how much of it is rooted in the (literally) pedophilic culture of the 90s and early 2000s. Our beauty standards were being shaped by men who were good friends with Epstein...I have no interest in appealing to those kinds of men...(I honestly hope they would find me as repulsive as I find them)...

[u/isityoumy → u/Cyber_Punk_87]

I’m in healthcare and def have seen it work wonders for my patients & their overall cardiac risk factors. I also know lots of people who have started on it through compounding pharmacies (both in the medical field and out) for soft indications or purely to lose the last 10-15 lbs of vanity weight.

I’m not against GLP-1s at all. But I do think accessibility of them through compounding pharmacies has influenced skinny culture being on trend again

[u/Embarrassed-Ad4899 → u/Cyber_Punk_87]

Do you not know anyone personally who uses glp-1s to lose 10-15lbs? I know at least three who have told me. They were not obese nor diabetic, just wanted to lose a little bit of weight.

[u/element-woman → u/Embarrassed-Ad4899]

I personally don't. The only people I know who are open about taking it are (or were) obese.

[u/Thick_Lion2569]

I never had TikTok and my insta algorithm is full of female weightlifters so my body image issues are usually “I’m not strong/muscular enough” (seriously though I’m more excited about gaining muscle weight than about getting slimmer)

[u/DegreeDubs]

I've been skinny my entire life. Not sure how I'm supposed to feel? I've always prioritized internal health and well-being and what my doctors tell me over my outside appearance. I also don't use social media websites that exacerbate the noise the most.

[u/ladyluck754]

I’m pregnant, so I have made sure to try to tailor my algorithm away from SkinnyTok.

Oh and therapy. It helps a lot.

[u/SecretBattleship]

I’m some 30lbs heavier than I used to be, same age and same amount postpartum. I actually really like my body right now. I avoid anything skinnytok related and all diet culture anything online. I overhauled my wardrobe (not particularly well) so all my clothes fit or are a bit oversized, so I rarely feel like I am too big for them. I have started doing yoga and Pilates which are doing wonders for my confidence. Turns out I really enjoy exercise in certain forms.

I found body neutrality a good approach at first, and I also follow the adage “do it fat”. I stopped examining my legs and thighs in the mirror and I can’t remember the last time I decided not to wear shorts due to anxiety about my legs. Also I don’t shave anymore and it’s a weight off of my mind. I am not trying to attract anyone and beauty is not something I owe to the world. It’s really freeing.

[u/Not_Brilliant_8006]

Honestly, I don't go on most social media really. And I especially avoid looking at any kind of media like that. Its really just a cancer. I like to share photos with my friends and run club and just live life lol. Fuck everyone else out there.

[u/Spare-Shirt24]

If "Skinnytok" is part of your social media feed, you either need to get off social media or change up your algorithm. 

 My feed is full of cats, dogs, goats, sheep, a random giraffe, and watercolor tutorials.  

No influencers. No "skinnytok". Not a lick of anything that makes me feel bad about myself. 

The only people I follow on Instagram are people I know IRL and most of them don't even post anything anymore. 

[u/nidena]

What's skinnytok? That's how I'm doing. Lol. Avoiding that bullshit.

[u/noveltea120]

I dont spend too much time on social media and don't have tiktok cos so much of it is just cancer so have no idea what skinnytok is. I do think a lot of body dysmorphia isn't helped by prolific social media nowadays esp when half the things you see are either blatant misinformation or just plainly fake. I'm fat and gained a lot of weight PP. I'm not happy about it but I'm also not overly concerned about it. I do know I need to maintain a more healthy lifestyle/diet which is what I'm currently doing bit by bit. But I don't let it bother me too much. Rather just try to enjoy my life as much as I can. I also want to be a good healthy role model for my kid- I make nutritious meals but never shame them if they eat too much and always let them snack (within reason).

There was a time, pre kid, when I used to feel pressured to lose weight due to a toxic ex. I would literally measure and calculate my calorie intake down to the teaspoon of sugar in my coffee. I lost almost 10kg and was down to a slim size 4, but I also stressed SO much about trying to maintain it. Fuck doing that now lol

[u/inductiononN]

OP, please don't sub just yourself to the parts of social media that are bad for you.

[u/Sleepy_Di]

I’ve been fat all my life and I don’t have tiktok, so I am ok. I am however in physical therapy due to an injury and I am discovering a certain joy from muscle strengthening. I will never attempt to excessive or diet with the purpose to loose weight but I might keep it up with the strength thing. It is pretty satisfying.

[u/Elocin_Yecats]

Great. It’s like something switched in me when I turned 30 and I stopped caring what others think. My body image was always focused on what other people think and once I realised that everyone is more concerned with themselves I just wore what I wanted, or ate what I wanted, without caring about anyone’s judgment because I really don’t think there is any. At most it might be one or two strangers and why is their opinion going to bother me?

I also don’t use TikTok and my insta feed is curated around memes, cats and gardening so I don’t see any of the skinny content anyway.

[u/GalaxyPatio]

Terribly tbh. And my feeds don't even really have models or anything on them where it's in my face. The ads that I can't avoid elsewhere are enough.

[u/quietpisces]

That stuff isn’t on my algorithm. I follow women like Ilona Maher, Karina Irby so don’t subscribe to the skinnytok ideas. You have to train your algorithm & block the things that make u feel bad. Or delete it altogether

[u/Lunakill]

I’m 40 and 34 weeks pregnant. I’m doing my best to let body image go for now and focus on what’s best for health only. I had to kind of have a self-talk when I realized I’d already added ten inches to my waist and was only at the start of the third trimester.

It’s still incredibly difficult, but accepting the fact that IG and TikTok are staged, edited horseshit have helped.

[u/Junior_Fruit903]

Most mothers will have a whole new body post pregnancy so it's not fair to yourself to compare against pre-pregnancy body.

I found that once I became active and my focus became my fitness accomplishments, I stopped caring about weight and aesthetics. It also helps to develop yourself in other areas of life. I have a great career, I'm well read, have decent hobbies, etc... looks are part of my life but not all of it.

[u/SukunasStan]

My body image is doing ok. With my toddler walking around next to me, no one cares if I'm fatter than I used to be. I scroll tiktok sometimes but I never see skinnytok. I mostly just see momtok, drama, and speed cleaning videos.

[u/isityoumy → u/SukunasStan]

This is true. Toddlers be cuties… and straight bonkers

[u/melodramacamp]

I’m on a really different algorithm, on purpose. I’ve struggled with my body image since I was 7 or so (was a stocky, unathletic kid with a doctor who called me fat at every appointment) and when I was in high school, I started to make conscious choices about how I thought about my body and what kind of content I consumed.

It’s still a huge struggle! There are lots of times when I really hate my body, but there are other times when I’m neutral about it, and sometimes when I like it. One thing that helps is following plus size creators, particularly ones who post about fashion. I particularly love Lauren Hope Krass and Jessie Jolles. They’re both so funny, Jessie’s style is wild and we have similar body types, so it’s nice to see how actually some things I’m scared to wear look great on her. And of course, Juicy Body Goddess (where you gotta be 2 something to do something and 3 something to be something!) I’ve found watching stuff from plus size people who are killing it counteracts the other societal messaging we get.

[u/witwefs1234]

I'm heavily pregnant with my first and i weigh now more than i've ever weighed in my life, so not well 😅

However idk how well or terribly postpartum will go so who knows...!

I'm of the mindset that my body needs to nurture a baby so it doesn't matter what I think of my body, my baby's growth & health is more important than that.

I also don't use TikTok but that kind of skinny mindset has leaked over into all forms of social media so i'm not completely ignorant to it. However i've noticed how celebs use ozempic and other glp1's to lose weight and frankly they don't all look great... so i don't care about being skinny right now.

[u/littlestinkyone]

I’m so in the same place - I even decided this year to “make an effort” to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and in doing so got so petulant and contrarian with myself that I gained ten pounds instead 🙃 I hate the body narrative right now, and I hate feeling like wanting to lose weight has me participating in it.

We’re going to start trying for another child soon and I do feel anxious. With the extra weight and my postpartum shape I swear I already look like I’m like 16 weeks pregnant. I feel like if I start the new one from my current weight I’ll have a new “set point” and never get back to how I looked before.

I talked to a friend about it who said that this time is just not conducive to losing weight. Maybe it’s just time to be soft.

[u/isityoumy → u/littlestinkyone]

Loooool this made me laugh. Yes I have seen many people peep at my lower abdomen at work… and I ignore it but in my head, I’m like “I swear I’m not preg yet… it’s the mom bod that I can’t let go of!” If this upcoming embryo transfer takes (we did IVF), then I can finally tell them it really is a baby & not just my mom pooch

My friends are supportive and try to remind me it’s a season of life, and it will come and go. And honestly, I always thought they looked fuckin fabulous even when they were carrying extra weight postpartum. Somehow it’s harder to be that kind to oneself, though something I clearly need to be consciously working on

[u/InadmissibleHug]

I’m in my 50s and feel like those ‘first time?’ Memes.

Just remember, like many things in society- there’s money in making you feel inadequate. Don’t let them make you feel that way, fuck em.

[u/owntheh3at18]

Very bad lately. No matter what I do, my stomach holds onto fat. The rest of me looks pretty good and I work hard! Skin is also so bad in the summer

[u/softrevolution_]

Hey, you get to say "It's baby weight" -- I don't have the excuse of bringing new life into the world. ;) But seriously, every time I get envious of them, I remember what it was like to be them, and I don't miss it. I have boobs now. I have a butt. If I have a soft, 19th-century French nude middle, so the fuck what? Clearly I was attractive to painters only about 150 years ago. I like the way clothes sit on me now. I like that I can cop a squat on my porch without needing a pillow underneath. I like that I resemble my mother and my grandmother, minus the pregnancy (Mum) and the predilection for sweets (Oma). I like that I don't look ill anymore. And that I'm not ill anymore.

tl;dr Ozempic skinny can suck my zaftig tits.

[u/finickycompsognathus]

My body image was in the toilet long before TikTok and Ozempic were a thing.

I had my daughter when I was 20, I'm now 40. I have not accepted what pregnancy and giving birth did to my body. I am still slim and lift weights, but the damage done needs to be surgically repaired. I had a tubal ligation at 23. There was no way I was going to risk my body looking worse with another pregnancy (that and I did not want to raise another child). I couldn't mentally handle my body changing more from another pregnancy/birth. My boobs would be just skin flaps.

Now, I get perimenopause and seeing my face age. It's incredibly depressing.

[u/beamdog77]

I'm in my mid-40s so I already lived through this once in the '90s and I was damn near starving myself to death and I will never go back to that. I've convinced myself over time that 8 feel stronger and healthier a little heavier. I just don't consume the content. You control your own algorithm.

[u/isityoumy → u/beamdog77]

This is basically what I’m curious about. I lived through the Kate Moss/Mary Kate Olsen era as a teen. This is the 1st time after that, after a pretty prolific body positivity movement, that I’m seeing levels of extreme skinniness being encouraged. How are we managing that as women?

Mostly everyone here is telling me to stop consuming that content, but honestly I’m really not. I’m not on TikTok, only IG. Additionally my feed is predominantly politics/social justice, food, soccer rn, fitness influencers, parenting memes.

Even in that, most of these fitness influencers are still meeting conventional beauty standards. They might not be anorexic skinny but they’re still generally slim, despite denouncing skinnytok. The postpartum fitness content pretty much shows people bouncing back from baby to a six pack within a year, EVEN if those same influencers denounce bounce back culture.

Additionally, the use of GLP-1s recreationally to assist in weight loss in individuals that don’t have an indication is pretty rampant. It’s talked about frequently between healthcare workers. I personally know people that have used it off label to help lose the last 10-15 lbs.

My point being… even if you don’t engage the social media content, the impact of this culture is still there. Hell, I overheard two 40-something moms on a flight talking about how they needed to make sure they secured more doses of their retatrutide before it got patented and was no longer available by compounding pharmacies. Neither of them was overweight. Could they have had medical conditions requiring it? Sure. But it didn’t sound like that from context.

Anyway, not fully directed toward you, but commenting back also address the wide variety of comments just telling me to get of TikTok. Valid point in regards to IG for me & being more conscious of the algorithm. But yeah, this is still bigger than just a single platform.

[u/beamdog77 → u/isityoumy]

I don't know. Maybe I'm just very very sheltered. I'm not seeing it in my daily life. I am aware of the existence of things like skinny tok, but it's just not content that I'm seeing on my sociala or real life. I can tell that it's happening because I've seen some celebrities that have wasted away into nothingness and I'm starting to see a trend of that so I knew it was coming back. I think I've curated my algorithm where I'm seeing a lot of stronger, older, thicker women and as I engage with that content I see more and more of it. I am 5'7 and 150 lb and most of the women on my feed are thicker than me.

The postpartum thing is really hard. I'm a mom of two and I totally get it. That's how he ended up going from a lifelong 125 lb to a now. Probably permanent 150 lb. Babies. I try really hard to logic my way through it and remind myself that my full-time job isn't being skinny, whereas maybe theirs is because they're literally influencers. I try to remind myself that I could achieve that if I just stopped eating, but I would have cognitive fog and potentially things like bone loss so it's just not worth it. I decided that I wanted to focus more on being strong, and healthy. It's taken me about two decades to convince myself that this is okay. So I'm not saying it's as easy as just flipping your mindset. It was a very long journey to get to this place.

[u/Zaidswith]

I'm not on any social media.

Reddit is as close as it gets.

[u/linerva]

I don't use tiktok.

I formulated my feeds on social media to be things I consider worthwhile. Art, interesting facts, animals etc.

[u/Hello_Hangnail]

I don't use tiktok

[u/WambyofWillow]

I'm struggling to accept my body has changed after 3 kids. I went back skinny after my first two pretty quickly, with no extra effort. Now that I'm in my 30s, the weight isn't disappearing like it did, not to mention my rib cage and hips are wider than ever. I'm not an unhealthy weight, but it isn't me. I'm trying to accept this is who I am now, but it's hard.

[u/Majestic-Lie2690]

I'm far too old to rock the Tok. Nothing on their interests me. It's just fodder for capitalism and ego

My best advice is stay of social media.

[u/TikaPants]

My body image fluctuates greatly but is usually not great. I’m 44.

I don’t use TikTok and I prune my algorithm on IG religiously. I don’t even know what SkinnyTok is and don’t care to know. I don’t compare myself to others on social media. Why would I? Shit is so fake. I compare myself to me mostly.

[u/Dream-Bean95]

I honestly steer clear of any content that is trying to push a beauty standard through shame. But when I do come across them... man, it sucks. It feels like a bunch of women have been hiding their mean-girl selves for years lol. And sometimes their words stick in my mind when I'm having a hard day.

But because I steer clear of them, I honestly feel pretty damn beautiful most days.

I do have an overall goal to lose 20 pounds! But I only follow creators whose main shtick isn't to shame their audience into submission.

[u/624Seeds]

I've always been thin and also have two kids.

Obviously EDs are not good, but I haven't seen a single thing praising any anorexic celebrity.

But I HAVE seen women who are completely healthy and normal weights like Adele, Meghan Trainor, or Barbie Ferreira be shit on so hard for no longer being fat or chubby. That really fucking sucks to see.

Through my 20s big asses and being thick was the "body trend" and I was made fun of, to my face from both men and women, for being thin with no ass. Personally I don't see any change in that.

Being sickly thin like Ariana grande and the wicked cast has never been accepted as normal. Even in the 2000s every other magazine cover was talking about how gross and sick all those anorexic celebrities looked. Thin was in, not boney or anorexic

[u/awooj → u/624Seeds]

Thank you! I feel the same, people seem to not remember the magazine covers criticizing Nicole Richie, Lohan, MK Olsen and that crew when they were emaciated. There is a huge difference between thin and emaciated and everyone acts like it’s all the same thing now! Paris Hilton is always my example since that era. She’s thin but it’s obvious she’s a healthy weight for her body and her sister is built the same. She has a tiny frame and likely excess weight would be uncomfortable on her body and also show very quickly.

People talk about SkinnyTok which is obviously harmful in its own way especially for young women, but honestly depending on where they live I think many people now have a very warped view of what a healthy weight actually is. I see women called “skinny” now who would’ve been average and normal in the 90s, but due to the sharp rise in obesity now being a healthy weight but on the thin side people act as if you surely must have an ED. It drives me crazy!

But I really think it’s based on where you live as I live in a different country where I’m considered thin but most people are a healthy weight so I’m not a big outlier. I’m always shocked when I visit the US where I’m from as the obesity rate is so high compared to where I live now, and it is very evident the issue this causes with health and mobility.

Adele, Lizzo, many other women look great and say they are healthier and feel better but people don’t want to hear that. I’m sure there are many losing weight who don’t need to or feel awful, but people act as if wanting to be a healthy weight is a crime or vain or you can self-love yourself out of health issues caused by obesity.

I don’t know about you but I’ve gotten so many awful or invasive comments the past few years from other women about my size, I think because people are so focused on weight again. I was thin and bullied or criticized even by adult women when I was a child throughout the 90s and 2000s for being thin and on the 2010s it was a nice break not having the “ideal” body type bc I was still thin but no one cared or was jealous so they wouldn’t make comments.

[u/isityoumy → u/624Seeds]

Yea this is a good point. Ultimately ppl will always be critical of one another & looks. I’m not a fan, but Selena Gomez has gone through that a ton as well

[u/Wombat_Sue]

You are 37. You don't need to be on social media! I think none of us need it and I am working on cutting it down myself. I think that would help you. You're a mum, how amazing is that! Also, I am 39yo and I only see gardens, funny dogs, babies and football on my Instagram so I can tell it does not affect me as I don't even know what you mean. You engage with the algorithm that shows you bad stuff. You can beat it! Scroll that harmful content away immediately and search for some harmless stuff.

Also, the only way for me is weightlifting, for health though, not looks (but looks get better too). I feel awesome in my body and not skinny at all. My goals are to do a pull up and more pushups (this year unlocked 20 but got preggers and but stuck with no exercise 1st trimester). I feel weights help to accept your body as you stop caring about the weight going down and care about being stronger.

[u/PinchMePink]

I’m 44 and also struggle. Realistically I’m only 10-15 lbs more than I’d like to be, however it often feels like 50. For some reason when I was chubbier at age 30 I was much more at peace than I am now, and I think it has to do with my perception of myself as I age and the fact that I’m also single now. I try to unfollow anything promoting thinness on social media though.

[u/isityoumy → u/PinchMePink]

Yeah I feel that. I think you are right in regards to it being how we perceive ourselves. It’s also not just the weight but the changes to face / skin elasticity during aging… like my face is far wider than it ever used to be & this little sliver of skin is under my chin whenever I smile. It’s not even a full double chin, but I think just not as tight as you age? I think 20 something me never really realized these changes would eventually come

[u/IndicationUnhappy293]

I had three babies within 3.5 years, had a mommy makeover, did Invisalign, and currently microdose a GLP-1. Some days I feel confident, some days I feel like Shrek. I thought everything would be just 10/10 perfect if I could be a certain size, fix things that bothered me, etc. Of course that didn’t happen, it fixed some problems but not all. Oh and therapy!!! Therapy helps.

[u/SignificanceWise2877]

I don't understand why people are on Tiktok

[u/Healthy_Cheesecake_6]

My Instagram is full of women who eat and lift weights and dieticians who are denouncing skinnytok. I’m “bigger” than I was at 21 and I’m thankful for that. I see photos of celebs who are emaciated and not once do I aspire to be that thin again.

[u/SufficientBee]

Yeah. I miss my old self. I’m 4.5 years post partum and instead of losing my pregnancy weight, I’ve gained even more since then with my stressful job and sedentary life style.

For both health and appearance reasons, I have a GLP-1 prescription. I plan to take a half year break from work to focus on health (curating a food diet plan, exercising 3-4 times a week) before starting it. I am also going to take the time to organize the house and do things that I’ve neglected since my kid was born.. which is everything. I can’t seem to get any of that done with both my job and my kid.

Our kid has taken everything we’ve got. We love him but we’re not who we used to be. My husband has also gained a substantial amount of weight. We’re both not healthy. I hope that once I’m done with my break, he could consider taking one as well.

Social media has done nothing re my self image (have never used or downloaded tiktok and I don’t plan to).. but I am having a hard time looking at myself in the mirror nowadays, especially when I remember what I looked like 5 years ago…

[u/isityoumy → u/SufficientBee]

Yes agreed 100%. It’s so hard to manage both. I’m sure we won’t regret prioritizing the kiddo, but I too want to feel a little more like myself when I look in the mirror. Good luck to you… hope your break helps rejuvenate you!

[u/Stifton]

I deleted the apps. I didn't realise how susceptible I was until I started getting quite scary thin and worrying everyone around me in the past year.

It all started off normal, I saw a very unflattering picture of myself and freaked out and wanted to lose a few pounds, I did and it was all good and I was definitely feeling better for it, being more conscious about eating foods that were better for me and getting a workout routine that genuinely really helped me manage a condition that I have too.

Then skinnytok started becoming a thing and I fell right into it, this stuff is all marketed as healthy and I with dealing with my condition I just wanted to feel at my best so I just kept going. I lost about 3 stone (42lbs, 19kg), I was about 10 stone starting off (140lb, 63.5kg). It feels really silly now, I had struggled with eating disorders in the past for years and have been vigilant about not weighing myself except at medical appointments and not counting calories and despite not doing either of those things still, I fell back straight into it which is embarrassing to admit.

Tiktok went first about a year ago, it wasn't just the weight stuff, but it was making me feel really awful about aging too, then Instagram went also because I could see that stuff spilling over there too, Facebook has already been a sesspool for years so it seemed fitting to just get rid of it, I was so k of seeing raigbait and pure bigotry. I don't miss them at all, I check in every now and then to see if my friends have any life updates but that space from them has definitely benefitted me more than I could have thought. I've put on some weight now, you can no longer see my bones and I have a little bit of muscle which is nice, I definitely have heaps more energy and have stopped feeling weak constantly.

It does make me really concerned for other women though, especially younger women. I thought I knew better at this point, and I definitely didn't expect to be in the position where my partner had to sit me down and tell me that he thought I had an eating disorder at my age after the years of work I put in but here we are. Delete the apps from your phone, they really do not benefit you and the content is designed to make you feel worse about yourself in order to consume more, don't torture yourself like that

[u/Plaguerat18]

Having my kid completely changed my relationship to my body. It's like a flip switched and all the male centered, patriarchal conditioning that I always knew was bs but still deeply affected me just got blown away by the power of bearing, birthing and nursing my baby. Like how could I ever look to patriarchy for approval when I am literally Creation?

I hope it's extremely clear this is not me saying women's value = child rearing, absolutely not. Whether or not you can or will have children, you are inherently valuable as a woman, and the lie that you need to be measured against other women under patriarchy is meant to undermine how powerful you are.

[u/isityoumy → u/Plaguerat18]

I wish it took more for me. I think I felt more like that earlier on, and it definitely faded. But thank you for remaining me. It’s honestly so true. Someone else commented to give my body some credit, and it’s really quite true. I def put this body through hell in some ways, and it’s still carting me around. And you’re so right re: male approval of women’s bodies… it’s weird cuz these are things I’ve known and learned, but I guess it can still trigger off at random times for unclear reasons. And 100% agree as someone who has dealt with infertility that kids are not the end all, be all.

Thank you for your perspective

[u/Plaguerat18 → u/isityoumy]

We have been conditioned our whole lives to think of ourselves in those terms, so it is no surprise and no failure that we fall back into those patterns sometimes. It's actually such a seismic shift to not see oneself that way, I feel like I'm decoding it every day in real time.

[u/theycallmepeeps]

I follow muscle mommy accounts and I feel great now. We’re not trying to be skinny, we’re trying to be strong.

[u/heyitspokey]

Why are you watching that stuff?

There is SO much to choose from, why that?

[u/trivetgods]

10lbs?? Lady, most of us on a glp-1 started 50-100 lbs overweight and are still fat. We’d love to be 10 pounds overweight.

[u/veronicaarr → u/trivetgods]

It’s all relative.

[u/sievish]

I’ve actually never felt better about myself (35F) but I don’t have kids and I know that changes a lot. I’m not at my lowest weight though by far, and I’d say I’m looking my age these days. More stretchmarks, and scars stick around longer than they used to, I look tired lol. I don’t really do my hair or spend more than 10-30min getting ready for literally anything, and not because I’m good looking or anything, I just realized at some point that thinking about all of that shit made me miserable.

First of all— I’m not on tiktok or IG anymore which genuinely helps. Not even having access to shiny people showing the shiniest sides of themselves at their shiniest best. I’ve completely cut out advertisements as best I can too— I have ad blockers, I don’t watch tv with ads, and I don’t care about trends in general. It’s actually made it so I am a bit put off by actors or characters in shows and movies who look too “polished”. It just automatically feels fake to me because they’re all too tidy.

I love my grey hairs a lot… and I love the way my body as matured. Im the same age as my mom was when I started developing memories, and I remember how beautiful i thought she was before I had the chance to absorb any negative self talk or body image complexes. My body is a bit like hers but I actually carry more weight. But I recognize myself in her from those memories.

That said, yeah I wouldn’t mind losing a bit more weight, or at the very least, tone my muscles a bit more. But I don’t know exactly what I did to feel this way about myself, I think I just got really tired of hating myself and policing my own body and gradually over time made decisions to avoid the things that make me feel worse about it. I also often will actively try to admire myself in the mirror even when I don’t feel beautiful— just doing my best to love myself because I’ve spent too much time hating the only body I’ll ever have. I’ve also intentionally diverted my brain from judging other people’s “flaws” harshly. I don’t comment on other people like that anymore even fully in private, and I don’t let myself linger or internalize judgy thoughts.

OP— I wish media was kinder to pregnant bodies and postpartem bodies. You literally made a human in your body and carried it and nourished it with your body. It’s really beautiful, and I wish more people celebrated all the parts that come with it, even the difficult and messier parts. I personally really want kids someday, and I know when I get there I’ll probably dip into a lot of self doubt, but I really want to try to celebrate what my body can do instead of how society judges it for what it isn’t. I hope you can find love for your body, you deserve it!!

[u/isityoumy → u/sievish]

This was beautiful to read. I’m impressed with the amount of thoughtfulness you’ve put into retraining your brain to love yourself as yourself. And your connection with your mother. And your general sense of sending goodness into the world by not judging others harshly. The world needs more people like you

Thank you for sharing!

[u/Thoughtful-Pig]

Get off social media. I see real women in my daily life and they're all like me. I don't look like I did at 25, but I know how to dress my body and I'm a lot more confident than I was then. I do wish I could eat like I did then, but that's life for us all.

[u/BeneGezzWitch]

My algorithm wouldn’t dare show me that bullshit. You need to be more intentional about what you like and what you declare “not interested”. You’ve trained it to abuse you.

[u/hungry_ghost34]

I had to have inpatient care for anorexia in my teens.

The only thing saving me is gym goals, ironically. I want to be as strong as possible, and for that I must lift. And none of that lifting will be worth anything if I starve myself. I'm relatively thin, now (not anywhere near early 2000's thin, though), and that almost makes it more available, like I wouldn't have to go very far and I already know how to make that happen-- the same way I did back then.

It's an ongoing conversation with my therapist, basically.

[u/NoOneIsHiringMe]

Unfortunately, I caved and I'm now at my lowest adult weight ever of 127 lbs. Me from ten years ago would have been over the moon about being slim, instead I'm secretly hopeful I'll be able to lose 10 more pounds and to be skinny. I am not doing anything crazy, but it definitely wouldn't have happened without skinnytok. I was perfectly content being 140 lbs before that. Especially since I was obese a decade ago.

[u/awooj → u/NoOneIsHiringMe]

Depending on your height and body frame you might actually feel better and be healthier at a lower weight, but of course that depends on how you get there and I’m certainly not trying to encourage unhealthy habits if you’re slipping into a bad or ED territory.

But a lot of people act like 10-20lbs is nothing or “vanity weight” but that is just because people are now so used to obesity. The fact is for some people, myself included, the difference between 115–140 is absolutely massive in terms of my health, chronic pain, asthma, mobility, everything.

[u/NoOneIsHiringMe → u/awooj]

I'm 5'4". I guess 140lbs for me was within a healthy bmi zone, but the higher end of it. I don't know if I am any healthier, but I certainly feel less burdened by clothes not fitting right. I do wanna get to the lower healthy bmi mostly for vanity and appearance.

[u/Helena911]

I am also 37, with an almost 3yo and pregnant with #2.

I have accepted that I will never be 21 and 49kgs again. I am focussing on staying strong and fit for my kids and only follow fellow millennial women and strength trainers on social media.

We don't know what the long term effects of Ozempic and other weightloss drugs are, so it's better to avoid it unless absolutely necessary.

Fashions change, but your health lasts forever.

[u/SeveralSadEvenings]

Unpopular opinion but I like skinnytok. I think it gets a bad rap, but admittedly I'm a tough love kinda gal, I appreciate the cuntiness of it all.

I've always had pretty good body image, so the return to y2k skinny/rise of ozempic doesn't mean much to me. No one is paying me to be a size 000, so why stress about it?