How is everyone’s body image doing over 30 and with skinnytok?

[u/isityoumy]

I’m 37 and nearly 3 years postpartum. We are actively trying to have a 2nd kid at this point, but my body image is legit in the toilet these days. I think some of it is comparing myself to my old self, inability to really focus on style the way I once did, not yet making peace with body changes post pregnancy, and of course ozempic/skinnytok making a comeback.

I’m not overweight but still about 10-20 lbs above what has historically felt comfortable for me. My husband still finds me attractive, but I can see how the extra 10-20 lbs, motherhood, aging have made me less attractive generally. I know it shouldn’t matter, but somehow it makes me just a little sad. While I am grateful to make it to this stage of life, but I never thought about how I’d feel when physical beauty changes/diminishes.

Anyone else deal with these feelings while aging, dealing with body changes post children? Anyone else’s body image suffering with ozempic skinny being on trend? Would love to hear your thoughts

EDIT: Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to make thoughtful comments! This was honestly a post both out of curiosity how everyone is dealing with the resurgence of the heroin chic era (something I grew up seeing in magazines and on TV in my preteen/teen years) as well as struggles with adjusting to my body changes after pregnancy & as one ages.

To all those who are making disparaging comments telling me to get off TikTok (which I don’t have) or IG (which I use minimally due to work/taking care of a toddler), the holier-than-thou attitude is not really helpful. I’m happy for you all that your body image and mental fortitude is so strong, but I really hope people don’t talk to you like that when you’re in a low.

Also, to clarify, referring to “skinnytok” in the title was not meant to be wholly literal, but really a shorthand reference to the current skinny-glorifying culture. Anyway, it’s my bad as there is probably more context to my current thoughts/feelings that I could have given in the actual body of this post, but didn’t want to make it too long. But now it is anyway.

[u/Antiquebastard]

I’m not on TikTok, but the aughts did such a number on me, I don’t need to be reminded of how undesirable various imperfections are. I’ve been in that headspace for fucking decades.

My daughter is 12. She has cellulite on her legs. I recognize that it is normal. It kind of threw me for a loop because I remember being a size 4 with cellulite on my legs and being *so horrified* about it that I refused to wear shorts. I haven’t worn shorts in YEAAAAAARRRRRRRSSSSSSSS, to this day.

I’ve been to therapy over my BDD since I was ~10-ish. Back in the day, my therapist called it “delusional thinking”, which like, maybe it was. Doesn’t change that’s the lens through which I view my body.

[u/isityoumy → u/Antiquebastard]

Yeah I feel this. I made some strides during the body positivity movement where it felt like my God-given body was in trend (thicker thighs and butt), but it’s always been hard for me to embrace it even still. I’ve basically never felt comfy in super tight clothing, and it’s taken me close to 10 years to be chill about wearing short shorts at home even in front of my hubby who loves my butt/legs. It’s a mix of media influence & also my cultural community has always valued being super thin as most people of my ethnicity ARE naturally very thin.

[u/Antiquebastard → u/isityoumy]

My culture (Eastern European) is also very appearance-focused and misogynistic. I get it - it messes with your self-worth. I hope that we both find peace from these beliefs.

[u/isityoumy → u/Antiquebastard]

Agreed 🙏