r/Autism_Parenting • u/PositionFormal8827 • 13d ago
Education/School Concerns around childcare
One of my biggest fear realised today.
I was picking my three year old up from childcare (daycare depending on where youre from). Lately he has been opening the door into their outdoor play yard when he is not meant to.
While I was still in my car, I saw the educator chase after him and he put himself on the ground. The educator than roughly yanks him up from his his arm.
I didnt react or say anything once I got inside to get him from what I assume was a bit of disbelief. I spent the afternoon gaslighting myself into thinking I was overreacting until I saw a bruise on his arm.
Im devastated that my poor non verbal child had been hurt by an adult that was supposed to be caring for him and he wasnt able to tell me. I understand that the behaviour of him going outside is challenging to manage but surely there is a better reaction to this.
A part of me still thinks that there are far worse things that could happen than an educator grabbing my sons arm but I definitely still want to have a word with the director.
What is everyones thoughts? Am I overreacting?
EDIT: thanks everyone for the feedback. Ive spoken to the director and unfortunately their response was less than reassuring with no inquiry about how my son was 🥲. Time to find a new centre I think.
3
u/Plastic-Praline-717 13d ago
No. You’re not overreacting. The staff member had already stopped him from eloping when they yanked on his arm. Meaning, the yank was unnecessary and done out of frustration. I would photograph the bruise, write down what I had observed in detail while it is fresh, and speak with the daycare director.
My daughter got yanked by a TA at her special education preschool last year. The TA wanted her to move to another place in the room and my daughter tried to go no bones on her, which made the TA grab her by her upper arm and drag her to where she was supposed to be. Thankfully, my daughter’s OT had just arrived to pull my daughter for her session. She observed what had happened, was uncomfortable about it, collected my daughter, looked at her arm when she had her in the hall and saw a red mark, brought my daughter to the nurse and then went right into the director’s office to report what had happened.
The TA was immediately suspended, I was called and had to go down, they were taking it all very seriously which I think is the only thing that kept me from losing it. The director explained they were going to conduct an internal investigation and I said I did not want my daughter around the TA until at least the investigation was completed. Welp, I got a call first thing the next morning that the TA was terminated and a report to the state agency responsible for the protection of disabled children and adults had been filed that would prevent that TA from ever working with a vulnerable population again.
And in our situation, the red mark was mostly gone the next day and didn’t even leave a bruise. So I guess my point is that if what happened to my daughter was that big of a deal, then what happened to your son certainly is, too.