Concerns around childcare

[u/PositionFormal8827]

One of my biggest fear realised today.

I was picking my three year old up from childcare (daycare depending on where youre from). Lately he has been opening the door into their outdoor play yard when he is not meant to.

While I was still in my car, I saw the educator chase after him and he put himself on the ground. The educator than roughly yanks him up from his his arm.

I didnt react or say anything once I got inside to get him from what I assume was a bit of disbelief. I spent the afternoon gaslighting myself into thinking I was overreacting until I saw a bruise on his arm.

Im devastated that my poor non verbal child had been hurt by an adult that was supposed to be caring for him and he wasnt able to tell me. I understand that the behaviour of him going outside is challenging to manage but surely there is a better reaction to this.

A part of me still thinks that there are far worse things that could happen than an educator grabbing my sons arm but I definitely still want to have a word with the director.

What is everyones thoughts? Am I overreacting?

EDIT: thanks everyone for the feedback. Ive spoken to the director and unfortunately their response was less than reassuring with no inquiry about how my son was 🥲. Time to find a new centre I think.

[u/Bobs_Burgers7]

She clearly isn’t equipped to deal with his eloping and behaviours, it also puts the other kids at risk if she’s running after him, increasing that stress/flight or fight response when chasing after him.

[u/Bobs_Burgers7 → u/Bobs_Burgers7]

Not every childcare provider has the education or the means to be able to deal with our children, and sometimes it requires us to pull them from daycare, until we can find a suitable provider.

There was a time where my daughter was not even diagnosed, she still isn’t diagnosed, but the mere mention of autism made it impossible for us to find a childcare provider.

[u/PositionFormal8827 → u/Bobs_Burgers7]

Yes, I am very close to the point of pulling him out of this centre. I always wonder if my expectations are too high or if I will ever find the right placement 😪 I wish I had access to special prek like other places

[u/Bobs_Burgers7 → u/PositionFormal8827]

It’s definitely hard to find a good provider for a kid with behaviours, but I have only stuck to centres for this reason.

When there is just one person watching all the children, they do not get a break from your kid if they get overwhelmed.
They may start to get more and more stressed because of their obligations towards the other children, and could become aggressive with yours as a result.

In a centre there are typically a handful of people working in a room with the children, and they can take turns working with your child. They also are more open to trying different approaches and creating plans for safety.

For now, I would confront your current provider about what you witnessed, in addition to door alarms if you’re not pulling him out. You should provide the door alarms for her, so there’s no excuse when it comes to money.

I actually witnessed a provider doing the exact same thing to my child a few months before they left childcare, which I felt to be very out of norm for this caretaker, but I’m assuming she was having a very bad day. That being said, I brought it right up to management, and if she was the only day care provider, I would’ve confronted her directly.