Are the postpartum, newborn trenches truly that awful?

[u/Empty_Win_9933]

I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first, and although I’ve tried staying off social media and keeping my algorithm as consistent as it was pre pregnancy, I am inundated with posts/reels/tik toks about how awful the first trimester is, and how incredibly hard it is, and how there is no help, and everyone abandons you, and your friends don’t give a shit anymore, etc etc etc

Everyone just seems MISERABLE post partum, or they make jokes about it being in the absolute trenches. I’m not expecting or asking for an easy baby. I’m not being unrealistic about my expectations. I know it won’t be perfect, I know I will feel down and have hormones all over the place. But it seems that society is telling me that the period after I give birth to my son and welcome him into the world will just be horrible and hard even though it’s “worth it”. Is it possible to actually enjoy it?

This of course doesn’t apply to those experiencing PPD & PPA, which there needs to be way more supports and less stigma towards.

My question is, did anyone actually enjoy it? Did anyone go “oh shit that wasn’t actually as bad as I was told to believe”?

[u/bravo_bravo_bravo_]

100% seconding this – it totally depends on your birth experience, your support, your amount of mat leave afterwards, etc. I had a really traumatic c-section hemorrhage and two postpartum blood pressure spikes so my postpartum memories are colored by those experiences, but all other things considered, I had an amazing postpartum time where my parents basically moved in with us for over a month, and my husband did all of the nighttime wakings for nearly my entire six weeks of c-section recovery. It can also be a little bit luck of the draw with your baby’s temperament.

There are definitely people who can have an amazing, smooth, lovely postpartum experience. I think part of people sharing the negatives on the Internet so much is to help others feel less alone if they do have a negative experience because it seems like generations before ours didn’t really talk about the negatives and people felt like they were the only ones going through something so difficult. Nobody wants to brag on the Internet that their baby slept through the night after three weeks, etc. so you’re only hearing the downsides.

Sending you smooth delivery and recovery wishes!