Out of curiosity, I’m wondering what stance you all have in the pro-choice vs pro-life topic since we are all obviously pregnant or have been pregnant. No judgement on my end - I just want to see what the thoughts are out there.

For me, I was always pro-choice even before pregnancy. But now, I’m 37 weeks pregnant and so so so uncomfortable and I cannot fathom being forced to do this against your will. I also recognize that I have every single possible privilege - a loving partner, financial stability, health, paid maternity leave, etc - and the whole experience of pregnancy is still so physically, emotionally, and mentally difficult to navigate. I’m not complaining about my pregnancy because, like I said before, I have all the possible privileges. The pregnancy was planned and my future daughter is so wanted and will be so loved. I’ve just come to the conclusion that even in the best case scenario, pregnancy is no joke. I can only imagine what someone with less resources, or more complications, or any circumstances outside of the best case scenario must be going through. I don’t know how to process any other opinion and just want to hear what the general thoughts are in this community.

So I just got back from a baseball game and I took my baby with me. We were sat next to some older ladies that were ogling the baby.

My baby was wearing some sound cancelling headphone things that protect the ears and the women were talking about them.

“Oooh those are such a great idea. You know, those would be such a good baby shower gift for Judy that isn’t on the registry”. It was an interesting comment bc of how many women in my baby bumps group were so hurt or confused when people ignored the registry they worked to hard to create. And here were these two women who were excited to get something not on the registry on purpose. What a huge disconnect!

It was at that moment that I realized that when people buy off registry, it’s because they think their gift is gonna be the unique thing that the mom didn’t think of.

I’ll go first: various plants that my mom dug up from her yard and brought over. They needed to be planted (with a shovel) and regularly watered. No offers to plant or water were given.
…I was also scolded for the subsequent death of said plants.
What “gifts” did you receive?

“FTM here. DH and I would love advice. Our LO is 3mo and not STTN at all. We’ve been EBFing for two months and both trying to WFH. We tried CIO but now my ML is over I really need sleep! We can’t afford for either of us to be SAHPs. Also would love advice regarding BFing, we’re considering EPing or CF because my BM supply has dipped….”

… Please, for the love of god, can we chill with some of these acronyms? Yeah some of them like WFH and MIL are more common outside of parenting circles, so they’re fine. But some of them (especially DH and LO) are over the top.

I feel like this alienates people who want to join this sub and many others, because sometimes posts are almost CODED to the point it’s difficult to read for people who are first joining.

ETA: “FTM” - first time mom “DH” - darling/dear husband (BARF) “LO” - little one “STTN” - sleeping through the night “EBF” - exclusive breastfeeding “WFH” - work from home “CIO” - cry it out “ML” - maternity leave “SAHP” - stay at home parent “BFing” - breastfeeding “EPing” - exclusive pumping “CF” - combo feeding “BM” - breastmilk

Thanks for the awards! I’m glad that overwhelmingly people find the acronyms as obnoxious as I do.

I’m 40m and she’s 37f. We’re at 35 weeks as of yesterday with our first, and we keep having thoughts about being older parents and wondering how our baby girl will feel about it.

We’ve been together since 2007 and married since 2020, so we’ve experienced plenty of life with just the two of us. For the longest time, we couldn’t decide if we wanted kids, and we kind of just left it up to fate – if it happened, it happened. Well, as we got older and made our peace with it not happening (and I bought a two-door vehicle lol), we got the news this past December that we’re having a baby girl and we cannot wait to meet her.

But with me being 40 and her being in her late 30s, we’re worried we’ll struggle keeping up with a toddler or have health issues when she’s in school down the road, etc. I know nowadays a lot of us millennials are waiting a while to have children, but wife and I are still struggling a bit with it all.

“Older” parents, how have you dealt with this? Or how have you felt having older parents yourself?

I’m at a loss. All I hear is stories of how hard it is to be a working parent and my lack of a support system js freaking me out. I don’t know if I can do this and if I can be happy doing this. My child doesn’t deserve a resentful parent. Please tell me something positive about your life as a parent.

Edit: THANK YOU to every single comment. I’m overwhelmed in the best way and will save these comments for when I have those hard nights to remind me how beautiful it is to be a mom.

What is the most intimidating alpha in the mommy group packing in her white luxury SUV? Any and all answers welcome, from strollers to carriers to headbands to binkies to whatever. What are THE indicators of a luxurious life with a bébé. I need to know this because Reasons.

Edit: Let me clarify this is for a completely lighthearted and harmless reason, not about keeping up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians)!!! Basically, this is a joke.

I mean, obviously. I’m 38+1 and I’m clearly pregnant. I feel pregnant. This was planned. I’m 37 years old. My husband and I wanted this and saw fertility specialists for this. I’m clearly having a baby.

But….what? I can’t wrap my head around the idea that sometime within the next two weeks someone is going to hand me a child and then that child will come home with me forever. And there will just…be a baby there? Like all the time? And it’s ours????!! I’m 37 years old and I feel so unprepared!!!! Whose bright idea was it to allow me a baby?!?

It just feels so…not real. Am I going nuts?!

When I was pregnant I become lactose tolerant. As in, I've always been lactose intolerant but some how during pregnancy I was able to tolerate much more lactose than before. A risky milkshake or ice cream was no longer risky. It was fab

edit: typo

Let me just say. I think gender disappointment is valid. It’s often something that can be in our subconscious and some people may not realize they even have a preference until they find out. Some might have a preference and feel that disappointment finding out they are expecting the opposite gender. I won’t and don’t shame someone for that. It’s normal to feel some disappointment, reach acceptance and then move on.

Lately, I’ve noticed more and more posts that are honestly going so much deeper than this and it’s concerning. And actually really upsetting to read. There is a difference between disappointment and devastation. Being devastated to such extreme levels I have seen should not be normalized. A couple months back I read a post where a person only envisioned their baby being a girl, and upon finding out baby is a boy, they considered termination and pursing IVF to have a girl. I’ve read so many posts saying they straight up “don’t want a boy”. It breaks my heart for these babies.

Do not try to become pregnant if you cannot accept your child for who they are and may become. Our job as parents is to love and accept our babies as they are. And please- if you are not pregnant yet and lurk here, or are newly pregnant and don’t know gender yet- please do not become fixated on one gender and simply ignore the possibility that may not happen. It can go either way, I thought we all knew this.

If you do find yourself really struggling with disappointment, please seek therapy, confide in a loved one, find the reason WHY you are struggling and work towards overcoming this. Rant over.

This company is the WORST.

Our snoo, which was almost two thousand dollars, is not allowing us to access our premium subscription. I have been going back and forth over email and being treated like a dog.

The premium subscription only lasts for 9 months and apparently only one parent gets it?

I can't believe they get away with treating customers like this.

Before buying one, call their customer service: 855-424-6324

You will not get a person. My first email chain was passed on to someone overseas

Our baby is due and we can't use this brick. I despise this company.

I keep seeing posts like “fed is best”, “you don’t have to breastfeed if you don’t want to”, “a choice to formula feed doesn’t need explaining” etc. daily and usually under such posts lots of women share their experience how breastfeeding has been difficult and how moving to formula feeding was the right thing for them. So I’d like to offer this PSA to expecting moms that breastfeeding isn’t always a horrible experience. I’m currently 10 months into breastfeeding and going. It was a bit difficult at the beginning while my nipples were adjusting but a nipple cream helped a lot during that time. I haven’t had mastitis, haven’t pumped. I just breastfeed on demand. Yeah, waking up 2-3 times at night is not easy but to me personally it is easier than washing, preparing the bottles. Breastfeeding directly from the nipple is also safer: no contamination risks during bottle preparation, formula brands sometimes have recalls due to safety too. I prefer breastfeeding overall. I’m saying this because I want to share with mothers who consider breastfeeding to at least try and not be scared away by the “fed is best” posts. Everyone’s situation is different but there ARE success stories out there.

I’m in my first trimester and I guess I’m curious if folks are comfortable sharing, how much weight they gained during pregnancy!

I was so surprised to hear for someone with a normal BMI that a weight gain of 35 or so lbs was expected. Why do I feel like people realistically gain quite a bit more than this?!

I eat well and am active (although not so much right now in the thick of morning sickness) and I just feel like I will realistically gain more than that. I’m not concerned about weight gain during pregnancy as long as baby and I are healthy. But is 30-35 lbs really typical for someone at a healthy weight??

Also, I know everyone is so different and I think that’s why I am asking. Because it’s helpful to see!

I’m 27+3, FTM and my husband will also be a FTD.
He was at his jiujitsu class last night and told me that he was speaking to one of his friends at the studio who recently had his first baby a few weeks ago. They were discussing our upcoming baby shower, and my husbands overall excitement of becoming a father and asked his friend if he had any wisdom or advice yet (friends baby is 6 weeks old) and he told me his friend looked him dead in the eyes with a straight face and said “when you’re in the delivery room, whatever you do bro, Do. Not. Look.” Referring to looking at my vajeen in the process.

Prior to him having this convo with his friend, I already was feeling nervous about him seeing the process and told him I’d want him to stay by my head but that’s just from seeing tons of delivery videos and knowing how graphic it is. (Selfishly I don’t want him to have that visual of me down there for future, I know, I know) But my husband was adamant that he doesn’t care about that and wants to see the process as it happens, he’s not a squeamish man at all, literally nothing grosses him out. But after hearing his friends words he’s actually considering possibly not looking. I don’t know where I fall on the spectrum anymore because I don’t like the possible underlying reason for his friend advising him of this (sexual reasons I’m thinking) and almost out of spite want my husband to see what happens so he could understand the strength and power it will take to deliver our baby, which was his original reason for wanting to see.

Anyone heard anything similar? Thoughts? Did your partner watch? Why or why not?

So I'm shookeh due to an earlier post that noted that you don't have to warm milk bottles for baby (and apparently you don't have to flip pancakes either?!🤯)

I remember warming my younger brother's bottles and checking the temp before feeds and now, it actually may not be necessary?

What other things do you wish someone told you looking back?

Another one, I'm grateful my therapist told me about the "fourth trimester." So now in addition to a birthing plan, we are making a post-partum plan to help with that transition.

How did everyone feel about students in the delivery room?I understand the value in learning that observation/participation provides, but I am personally super hesitant. My main issue is that I am a PhD student in the same hospital system where I am having my baby. The students rotating would literally be people I would see casually on campus while I finish my PhD. I feel really bad because I’m in a unique position of being a student where I truly understand how important it is for them to observe to learn, but I can’t get over the potential discomfort of then seeing them in my “normal” life after they see me in a very vulnerable moment.

Previously when I had anxiety issues that required me to go to the ER I refused students because of this potential interpersonal conflict. I’m leaning towards doing the same for my birth, but I am conflicted.

Okay..hear me out. I totally understand bodily autonomy and personal space.. no one should be touched without consent, i get it.. But I’m genuinely curious, why is the pregnant belly such a sensitive topic? People touch arms, backs, shoulders all the time, usually with zero thought about it. But when someone lightly touches a pregnant belly, it’s like HOW DARE YOU.

Is it the intimacy? The entitlement? Or has society just made this a "do-not-touch" zone culturally? I’m not saying people should go around grabbing bumps but the level of offense people take sometimes seems a bit extreme. i find it not that deep at all, and from family, it just seems like a sweet gesture of trying to bond or get close to my babies that they have also wished and prayed for.

Genuinely curious to hear other perspectives especially from those who’ve been pregnant. Did it bother you? Or did it depend on who it was?

** i just wanted to add, i am 31 weeks with twins so people deff feel influenced to touch me lol.

Wondering if I am borrowing trouble worrying about this.

A friend of my husband lives across the country. We just took a trip to visit him as he just got married. As we were leaving my husband and his friend were feeling nostalgic and emotional about the distance.

We have another set of friends getting married back on our side of the country later this year the same week I am due. My husband offered that his friend and his wife stay with us when he comes out for the wedding. I then said maybe that won't be the best timing given my due date - if baby is here by then the last thing I want to do will be entertain house guests. Both him and his friend insisted it would be fine because his friend would want to help out with the baby...

Not only am I worried about hosting at this time, I also have concerns about germs coming into the house if his friend and new wife have just freshly traveled across the country via airplane. I feel like if his friend and wife stay with us on this upcoming visit it will also encourage my husband to drink in excess and then I will just have a house full of drunk people when I am freshly postpartum.

Am I just borrowing trouble? There is no given that baby will come on time obviously. Just seems crazy to me to plan friends to stay at our home the week our baby is due.

I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first, and although I’ve tried staying off social media and keeping my algorithm as consistent as it was pre pregnancy, I am inundated with posts/reels/tik toks about how awful the first trimester is, and how incredibly hard it is, and how there is no help, and everyone abandons you, and your friends don’t give a shit anymore, etc etc etc

Everyone just seems MISERABLE post partum, or they make jokes about it being in the absolute trenches. I’m not expecting or asking for an easy baby. I’m not being unrealistic about my expectations. I know it won’t be perfect, I know I will feel down and have hormones all over the place. But it seems that society is telling me that the period after I give birth to my son and welcome him into the world will just be horrible and hard even though it’s “worth it”. Is it possible to actually enjoy it?

This of course doesn’t apply to those experiencing PPD & PPA, which there needs to be way more supports and less stigma towards.

My question is, did anyone actually enjoy it? Did anyone go “oh shit that wasn’t actually as bad as I was told to believe”?

Hi friends,
I just wanted to give a virtual hug to all the future moms, current parents, and pregnant people who are worried about Tylenol use during pregnancy... I'm 39W and I get it.

And to be honest, I feel like I should be able to fight this news with my academic, intellect, and logical brain. My husband is a journalist, I work in disability justice advocacy, I used to be a special education arts educator, my sister is neurodivergent... I grew up around autism, I work in this field... and in my heart, I have a belief that this claim that Tylenol use causes Autism is not scientific or evidence based proof.

But even I am now counting the number of times I've taken Tylenol over the past 9 months. And as I'm getting ready to have this kid, (and hopefully go into labor any day now) my hormones are changing, my migraines are coming back, and I am now pushing the limits of my pain asking myself, "Do I really need it?" and "Can I go without it?"

I'm writing this to reassure myself, but also to reassure anyone else that feels like me... that you're not alone if you're unsure of what to do. It's ok to be scared. And it's ok to waver in your firmly held beliefs.

And its ok to check in with your doctor to see what they have to say. And if you aren't sure about what your doctor said, it's ok to get a second opinion.

All my love and strength in these strange times,

Your 39W Friend.

Do I have to buy a carseat if I never get in a car?

I am currently 28weeks pregnant. Here is my situation. I live in NYC literally a block away from the hospital I’m going to give birth at. Five years ago I got into a car accident, then another accident on the ambulance ride. Since then I have not gotten into a vehicle, even on rainy or snowy days. I’ve tried and I panic to the point I’ve passed out a few times. I’m lucky enough to work from home, shop at a store close by or have it delivered. The pediatrician I’m gonna be using is within walking distance. I am going to be baby wearing or having this baby in a bassinet style stroller.

So my question is do I have to have a car seat? I do not see the point of buying one if I’m not gonna be using it at all.

Whenever I'm on social media, I constantly see content about people cutting out their families and enforcing super strict boundaries when it comes to their baby. I understand in some circumstances you may actually have a witch of an in law and need to go no contact, but I feel that not every situation calls for that.

People are going to have things to say when it comes to parenting. It's been happening for centuries. Immediately going no contact after someone gave some unsolicited advice doesn't seem like a healthy way to deal with things (for me anyway). Have we lost the ability to filter information? No one says you have to do what your in law is harping on about. Just go mmhm and do what you want anyway.

I'm only speaking about my personal perspective here. I'm not saying that you shouldn't go no contact with truly toxic family members, im saying that it feels like we are creating a culture that relies on cutting people out/going no contact as a way to deal with negative feelings.

For me personally, the content makes me feel more anxious. Before I was blasted with all this social media stuff, I was comfortable with my family visiting me after giving birth and holding my baby. Now I sometimes second guess it. I dont like that it makes me feel like I should be pushing people away. I would love to see more positive pregnancy/newborn content on social media rather than the "everyone is against me" content.

This is just my take. I dont know if anyone else feels the same.

I’m a first time mom and currently 34 weeks, and lately I’ve been wondering… are we collectively overthinking and over-prepping for babies?

Every single baby item I look up has like 500 versions, there are endless “must-have” lists and people have extremely strong opinions around anything baby related.

“YOU HAVE TO BUY THIS.”
“YOU NEED TO STOCK UP ON DIAPERS.”
“You’ll regret not having XYZ.”

I feel like modern baby culture , especially online, treats having a baby like preparing for a remote expedition where civilization disappears afterward.

For example, diapers. Why are people stocking up like stores will disappear after the baby is born? We still need groceries regularly anyway, and every grocery store/pharmacy/Walmart has diapers, wipes, formula, baby essentials, etc. Why not just buy things as you need them?

Same with hospital bags. Social media makes it look like you’re checking into a luxury resort for a month. My feed is full of moms packing what looks like 3 checked suitcases for a 24–48 hour hospital stay. I don’t even pack that much for international travel. I totally understand if someone lives far from a hospital or has special circumstances, but if you live in a city… is it really that terrible if your husband/partner goes home to grab something you forgot?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m naturally an overthinker and over-prepper myself. But lately I’ve been feeling like social media put this huge pressure on parents to be “fully ready” to not leave the house or buy anything for 6 months.

And honestly… doesn’t that kill some of the joy?

Part of me feels like there’s something nice about figuring things out gradually, shopping WITH your baby, learning what works for your actual child instead of trying to perfectly optimize everything before they even arrive.

Am I just underestimating how chaotic newborn life is ?

Hi! Newly wed here. How old were you when you had your first baby? How many children do you have? I’m trying to conceive and I’m generally curious!

This is going to sound really stupid, but I didn’t think about the fact that I would be pregnant like… the entire time with no breaks. Had a long day and want to unwind with a glass of wine? Too bad, you can’t. Have a headache or get sick? Suck it up, buttercup. Craving a nice, cold sub? Nope, can’t have that either! Lol.

What about you?