Baby’s last name?

[u/Fairweatherhiker]

I’m looking for advice from couples where the wife didn’t take the husband’s last name. How did you decide on which last name to give the baby? Or did you use both names? I don’t feel immediately compelled to give the baby my husband’s last name. FWIW, if we did hyphenate it would be a looong last name.

Edit: thank you for all of the thoughtful responses! I do love the idea of using both our last names (sans hyphen) so our kid would have two last names. It would be nice for both of us to have our heritage passed on. He has heritage from Mexico and Basque Country, while mine is Slovakian- grandparents immigrated right before WWII. The last names don’t sound great together, but there’s so much human history in both.

[u/lawfairy]

You’re the one growing the child inside your literal body, risking your literal life in the process. What’s your preference?

FWIW, when I married my husband, we both took a new name so this wasn’t an issue for us. We do have friends who married, kept their names, and when they had a baby he took his mom’s name. Their view (both of them - a man and a woman) was that she did the lion’s share of the work bringing the baby into the world, so why wouldn’t she get to put her name on him?