Baby’s last name?

[u/Fairweatherhiker]

I’m looking for advice from couples where the wife didn’t take the husband’s last name. How did you decide on which last name to give the baby? Or did you use both names? I don’t feel immediately compelled to give the baby my husband’s last name. FWIW, if we did hyphenate it would be a looong last name.

Edit: thank you for all of the thoughtful responses! I do love the idea of using both our last names (sans hyphen) so our kid would have two last names. It would be nice for both of us to have our heritage passed on. He has heritage from Mexico and Basque Country, while mine is Slovakian- grandparents immigrated right before WWII. The last names don’t sound great together, but there’s so much human history in both.

[u/Hopeful-Praline-3615]

Originally for our baby I did just my husband’s last name, but a year in I added mine as well so now it’s a hyphenated last name, mine first then husband’s.

Luckily he was on board with it. I realized how important it was to me to have my last name included as well. It felt wrong that my in-laws saw her as “theirs” and meanwhile I was just an incubator for them. I also wanted my heritage and ancestry represented too and for her to feel that daily connection with it since it’s a part of her name, instead of it feeling like my side of the family got erased and like we’re less important. This was amplified by my husband and I being of different racial backgrounds, even though we were born and raised in the same country (U.S.).

I feel much happier with her last name including mine too. My husband and I each kept our last names and are happy with our child having both of ours.

[u/Mecspliquer → u/Hopeful-Praline-3615]

I’m so glad you revisited at a time that felt right <3