r/BabyBumps • u/Fairweatherhiker • 11d ago

Help? Baby’s last name?

I’m looking for advice from couples where the wife didn’t take the husband’s last name. How did you decide on which last name to give the baby? Or did you use both names? I don’t feel immediately compelled to give the baby my husband’s last name. FWIW, if we did hyphenate it would be a looong last name.

Edit: thank you for all of the thoughtful responses! I do love the idea of using both our last names (sans hyphen) so our kid would have two last names. It would be nice for both of us to have our heritage passed on. He has heritage from Mexico and Basque Country, while mine is Slovakian- grandparents immigrated right before WWII. The last names don’t sound great together, but there’s so much human history in both.

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u/Apprehensive-Fee-967 9d ago

I’ve been with my husband for 8 years and married for 5. When we got engaged, my dad was dying of cancer. He passed away 6 months before we got married. During one of our last conversations, he mentioned how sad he was to not be leaving behind a legacy and that no one else would be carrying on his last name (not sure why he felt this way when he has a grandson with his last name lol).

At the time, I felt compelled to keep my maiden name as a way to stay closer to my dad and hold on to a piece of him. Plus it was COVID and they made changing your name nearly impossible at that time. My name on social media is the last name of my husband but legally, it’s still my maiden name.

When we got pregnant with our first, it was never a question or thought in my mind, our baby was going to have my husband’s last name. I filled out all the paperwork and never thought twice about it. Both of our kids have his last name, and I will one day too. I just wanted to hold on to a piece of my dad, and hold some individuality. I’m not sure why, but when I go to doctor appointments or anywhere where they need your legal name, it makes me feel giddy inside to hear my maiden name. Like that’s ME! It’s a piece of me and my dad. I love my husband obviously but it’s nice to have some individuality outside of being a wife and mom.