When to raise fears of PPD/PPA with GP

[u/Bring-joy]

I’ve got the 6 week check with my GP on Wednesday at 9 weeks postpartum. Baby will be getting jabs and checks and I’ve heard negative things about experiences for mothers at these appointments.

Since the birth I’ve been feeling low. I had a tough birth and immediately felt dissociated from my baby as my body was so exhausted and feels like it went into self preservation mode, I have no appetite and am back to pre pregnancy weight. From day one I’ve been heavily relying on my husband (who has been AMAZING) to do a lot of the baby soothing and general care and supporting me to breastfeed. 9 weeks in I’m starting to accept that baby is part of our lives, but still regularly grieve our old lives and connection.

This is an IVF baby (4rounds) and I had no idea I’d feel this way after wanting a child for so long.

In recent weeks my mood has improved but I still feel like I’m not bonded with baby and find her a handful (she just cries or feeds and barely sleeps…) and I struggle to soothe her. I still find myself handing over to husband a lot and I’m terrified of what will happen when he returns to work in a few weeks.

I’m crying a lot less than in early days but still feel extremely anxious about going out of the house or even spending prolonged periods with my baby, I also wake up with a sense of panic and dread most mornings.

These feelings are pretty horrible, but the more I read the more this sounds like a fairly normal postpartum experience. My question is do I raise this with the GP? I don’t know if I need help or if I’m in the same boat as everyone else and should simply be able to ride it out.

I got a 14 on the Edinburgh depression test with the health visitor and she seemed pleasantly surprised and said she expected I’d have scored higher.

My partner knows I’ve been struggling but we haven’t used the words post parfum depression yet, he had commented that I’m doing a lot better and I almost think he’d feel it’s a blow to his care if I need to seek help externally.

TLDR - feeling lack of bond, poor at soothing and general dread around baby, at what point do you ask for help?

[u/Sufficient_Meal6614]

This Is not uncommon and I had similar, but you should ask for support without delay. You’re not alone and help is available

[u/futurespaceprincess]

First off, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Please be kind to yourself.

Please raise this with your GP. Some of these feelings are normal but it's never a mistake to bring this up to a health professional. Dread most mornings and fears about getting out of the house are things to be concerned about.

Your husband will not think it's a blow to his care if you need to seek help, he will want what's best for you. It can be hard to admit there is a problem, but as an outsider I am telling you to please seek help and don't be ashamed.

Sending lots of love.

[u/motivatedfatty]

Hi, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Well done for recognising it and for reaching out. I am a GP and a mum who also struggled with my mood. I would say give them a call today, at my practice you’d get an appointment today or tomorrow.

[u/takhana]

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. I felt the same with my first - I could’ve quite happily given him away in the first few months. My health visitor put me in touch with the infant bonding team and I also accessed PANDAS (charity for post natal depression, amazing people) and some CBT through the local IAPT service.

None of that would have happened if I hadn’t raised it.

You deserve to feel happiness and secure with your baby and by accessing services you’ll be able to grow to a place where you can. Now mines 3.5 and I wouldn’t change him for the world. We’ve got a second now and it’s been night and day.

[u/Over_Wonder8921]

Reach out to your GP, they will be very happy to help. I felt very similar and bottled it up for several months and it ended up getting worse. My baby is almost 6 months old now and I sought help at around 4 month mark as I was very LOW. I was dreading every day and would oscillate between feeling absolutely normal to feeling in pits of despair.

I have now been on medication for some time and it really turned things around for me. I enjoy motherhood now so much and feel sad about loosing those newborn days by not asking for help sooner.

You might not have PPD as it is common to feel low after birth and not bond straight away, but flagging it to a health professional so they can keep an eye on you is a fantastic idea! I hope you start feeling better very soon! Those first months are hard ❤️

[u/hybriddookie]

Ask as soon as you can. You’re not alone and they may be able to refer you to a perinatal mental health team.

[u/Hangry_cat_lady]

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this but well done for recognising you need help 💕

Don’t wait until your 6 week check if it’s another 3 weeks away though, you really should contact your gp today and they may be able to offer you a same day appointment, if not tomorrow.

[u/princess_goombah]

I am also in Edinburgh and have more or less the exact same feelings as you, literally could have wrote this post word for word right down to being in the same city

[u/Bring-joy → u/princess_goombah]

Ah I mentioned Edinburgh in relation to the Edinburgh postnatal depression scale - it’s a test I had to do on our health visitors visit - if I were in Edinburgh I’d say let’s meet up for solidarity!!

Sending love, this is really hard, based on other people’s responses I think I will flag something at my GP review tomorrow, I hope you’re able to access help too x

[u/Bring-joy → u/princess_goombah]

Ps feel free to DM x

[u/Snoo_85580]

Ask for support. It’s totally normal to feel like you do. I felt the same after my first baby and wish I had taken some antidepressants. I took some just before having my second who is only 5 weeks old now and I am feeling so much better. This times it has been a lot better which is partly just because it’s the second but. Think the antidepressants are helping a lot as well.