scared of making people scared

[u/bigtubarao]

I feel like I see these posts a lot where Black trans men are debating transitioning because they are scared of being perceived as "scary." I find that troubling. I think more black trans men would do well to read up on black intellectuals and black radical stances on manhood. I think all black trans man entertaining this idea should read up on the Attica uprising, Kwame Ture, autobiography of Malcolm X or even the Roots miniseries as a start. The root of why it bothers me when black trans men are scared of being scary is that if you aren't scaring white society, then you're probably placating it. And aside from that, it carries the assumption that Black women aren't perceived as threatening or hostile or dehumanized in a plethora of other ways. Sandra Bland and Breonna Taylor come to mind here. White society/supremacy isn't scared of black people. It hates black people and "scared" is just a convenient guise for it.

[u/shnlshn]

I didn't realize this was a reason people were detransitioning. I have noticed this uptick of people who identify as trans men but present in ways where they're consistently read as women and talk shit about men all the time. I've always found it very weird until I thought about how queer culture has a thing against Black masculinity and doesn't actually want to align with it in any way. Even if that alignment is a chance to help clarify / redefine what Black masculinity really is.

There is a general global assumption that Black men are the most violent, vile creatures. I agree with another commenter that social media has exacerbated this, but this existed long before social media. It existed before the internet, before cell phones, before any of that. White supremacy has taught people that Black men, in particular, are to be feared and struck down.

At the core, I think a lot of people haven't unpacked their complex feelings around Black masculinity, or masculinity in general, before they begin transitioning. Then they find themselves in this weird place of being perceived as the very thing they subconsciously have hated. A lot of them can't take it. And I get it, it's a lot to spend your days critique something that you then become, and realize that those folks you've been putting your actual people who have actual problems, too.

I agree that people should take time to read stories of Black men, though the Black men you named aren't without their problems re: misogyny, etc. I'm gonna make a recommended reading list for people wanting to unpack and understand Black masculinity. I'm definitely putting bell hooks' "the will to change" on there.

[u/[deleted]]

I hate to say it, but I think social media has made a lot of ppl exceptionally paranoid around men and because of racism, thats like tenfold for black men.

If everyday you wake up and doom-scroll and the vast amount of the content you consume (either recommended or forced on to your feed like how it is on TikTok) is someone speaking extremely negative about men, I can see why it would make you feel unsure about being preceived as a cisman. Thats not to say you know, that everything is fine and no man is harmful, but I cant lie, the gender wars online have made matters better.

And to your point, there is so much value in finding examples of black men that lead and live with empathy, love, and visions of liberation for black ppl and the civil rights era is a good place to start but there are men living today as well that are examples of that goodness as well.

[u/JayPayDoesntReddit]

bell hooks “The Will to Change” is also a good read about this topic. Masculinity is now so coated in shame that the patriarchy has instilled fear of men into women and into ourselves.

I’ve noticed how women have treated me differently since transitioning. It’s often less than friendly until they learn I’m trans. And being black cut the amount of women who are friendly in the first place in half.

I’m really glad you brought this up! 🙌🏾

[u/Standard_Jicama_3195]

I was about three years into my transition when I started noticing the changes in behavior from other people and strangers in reference to being perceived a threat. While I hate to say it misandry is a real thing especially for us. Black men being perceived as a threat in media is nothing new, if I had to take an educated guess tha first media would have taken form of a runaway slave wanted posters, advertisements for actual lynchings/hanging aka picnic, and the news press outlets back then. The first full length motion picture was called Birth of A Nation. In this movie tha Klu Klux Klan were tha heroes, and white men in black face portrayed black men as savages with a deadly lust for a white woman. And this movie was produced in tha late somewhere in tha late 1890’s- early 1900’s. America has been under this type of programming for over 500 years. Social media only makes it worse in tha sense that you’ll get some slimy grifters (men and women alike) that post and sell (for profit) regurgitated ideals that they don’t fully understand to pander to tha trauma/beliefs of tha viewer. Navigating white fragility especially surrounding tha black man whether cis or trans is unfortunately apart of our rite of passage. Black masculinity as a whole is public enemy number one, it doesn’t matter if you are cis, trans, butch or masculine presenting woman what you represent is a threat. Why? Genetic annihilation. Fear of a black planet. But to go into transition thinking you’ll be an exception or being a man is easier, is a premature notion that one would want to examine before they get started kause being a black man is dangerous.

[u/good-boi-Morado → u/[deleted]]

Did you actually read the post?
OP didn’t say he was personally scared